• Published 19th May 2020
  • 10,418 Views, 1,831 Comments

Rekindled Embers - applezombi



Hundreds of years after the death of Twilight Sparkle, a brutal theocracy rules over ponies with an iron hoof. A young pegasus mare slowly learns the truth about her world, and the lies her faith is built on.

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Epilogue: The Garden of Memories

Epilogue: The Garden of Memories

I know that many of the greatest books ever written do not have an afterword. I imagine more experienced authors let their writing stand on its own, without some sort of final explanation tying up loose ends or a comprehensive denouement. But I am not an experienced author; perhaps my amateur writing and inexperience have shown through in the narrative. Perhaps that inexperience bred insecurity, leaving me with a need to explain myself.

Or perhaps you, the reader, have sensed that I do not, I cannot, look at history with a journalist’s objective lens. I was there. I watched most of these events unfold myself. And though my ambassadors and diplomats have begged me to change the tone of my work, to better reflect a more modern and more diplomatic approach to the Empire’s relationship with the Diarchy, I can’t help but tell the story the way I experienced it.

The way Emberglow experienced it.

I miss her still. Though it has been nearly three centuries since she passed, I think of her daily. Perhaps part of that is because I have spent the better part of the last decade working on this book.

I pause, lifting the pen from the notebook. My thoughts are jumbled; the words aren’t coming out quite right. I’m not sure exactly how to explain myself.

I feel inadequate. A silly notion, really. I am Rarity, after all. Element of Harmony, Raiser of the Moon and Diarch of the Crystal Empire. I am the Princess of Hope, the Flame of Prophecy and the Belle that Rings In the Future. I have survived longer than most living ponies, and I have the experience to show for it.

At least, that is the version of myself I present to the public. It makes me wonder if Celestia always felt this way. I know Sunset still does; in our private moments, we share our hidden insecurities, our doubts, and our fears. It is something Cadance required of us in our earliest days of rule—to share our burdens and learn from the pitfalls of the alicorns who came before us, so we do not repeat them.

Cadance looks so tired these days. Today, especially, she will need my strength. But for now, I needed to be alone, to come here, to this sacred place, this garden of memories, and write out my thoughts, however scrambled they are.

I touch the pen to paper again. Part of me rationalizes that whatever I write doesn’t have to be perfect, because I can always go back and edit again. But another part of me craves the honesty of an unfiltered pen.

I remember when I decided to finally write my own narrative of the Equestrian Civil War. Historians and journalists had been asking me for years; nearly from the day we first returned to the Crystal Empire after the Battle of New Canterlot. And every time I refused.

Part of it was that I felt unequal to the task. Its very nature is daunting; after all it took years of research, diplomacy, travel, and even bribes to amass the sheer volume of primary and secondary documents I would need to finish it properly. A hundred other authors have paved this road before me. Many of them served as aids and inspiration, helping me to understand and uncover bits and pieces of the story of which I was unaware. To those who came before, I give my gratitude.

Of all the historians, it is to Professor True Tale, author of Through My Father’s Eyes: The Great War that I owe the most. Even though I watched Professor Tale grow up from a foal, I still think of him as the courageous scholar and cunning writer who pioneered the first comprehensive account of these events. Princess Sunset Shimmer’s Phoenix Awakening was immensely useful. There is also Echoes of Harmony by Gaston Half-Claw, and even the lamentably biased Faith’s Great Trial by Sir Chimera Opal of the Mystics. Yes, I even read that piece of propaganda, no matter how downright worshipful it is, at times, of the late Steadfast Word.

There is a part of me, even now, that still has nightmares about him. That still wonders if we did the right thing, by letting the Radiants spirit away the empty husk of a pony that was left after the Elements blasted the Windigoes out of his broken, bleeding body. They assured us that there was nothing left; that the Windigoes’ forced departure had hollowed him out.

I understand he lived the rest of his days in a Radiant care facility, barely conscious. I have a hard time not hating him for what he set in motion.

I pause. Maybe I should temper my language a little. But I let it stand for now. Reading Sir Opal’s book had been an exercise in trudging through slime. There is only so much slander a mare can take before she starts to take it personally, after all. And only so much fawning over one of the most vicious villains I ever fought.

I sigh and close the notebook for a moment. The sight of the cover brightens me out of my funk, and I smile. I am a princess, and have the vast fortunes of the Empire at my disposal. In addition to that, there is my own personal fortune, amassed after years of fashion design, as well as three centuries of prudent investing.

I am, after all, still a business mare, even though my other responsibilities mean I cannot indulge in that side of myself as much as I used to.

Still, even though I could have been writing on the finest parchment, or a notebook with a chic design and a velvet-lined cover, something about this cheap, elementary-school pink paper notebook, plastered with gaudy stickers and a foal’s hoofwriting, makes my heart sing with joy. ‘Best Princess’, it says in my student’s atrocious hoof-writing. The stickers are mostly moons.

I truly understand why Celestia adored Twilight so. The bond between a student and a teacher is a sacred, beautiful thing. And perhaps nopony else will understand why I treasure this gift from my very young protegee, but I do not care.

It makes me feel connected, even though I am alone here at the Harmony Memorial. Well, alone is perhaps not quite accurate. Only about forty paces away I can see two Knights Resplendent, their enchanted bulletproof vests bulky under professional looking orange-and-yellow suits. My own design.

I know that within earshot are half a dozen others, either hidden with camouflage spells or just out of sight. Perhaps behind one of the many polished, black granite obelisks that dot the gentle green hills of the Memorial. I look up at the obelisk I am sitting under.

None of the monuments have names; rather, each one has three sides, and are decorated simply with a cutie mark, carved into each side. Each obelisk represents someone who bore an Element of Harmony, who has passed. This one, in particular, is a cross with a crystalline heart inside.

Somewhere, probably later today, there would be a new obelisk erected; one with Heartwing’s butterfly-in-profile cutie mark.

I made sure they were putting it next to Terminus Flash’s.

I know nopony thinks of the Memorial as a graveyard. For good reason; the Elements are not buried here. But I seldom visit Emberglow’s gravesite. I shall probably not visit Heartwing’s much either.

When I need to feel connected to my friends, I come here. And today, on the day after Heartwing finally passed, I need to feel close to him.

Oh, there will be memorial services. There are already a thousand notifications on my phone; I’ve set the blasted thing to silent mode for now. A rare event—I usually like to have my hoof on the pulse of my subjects’ trends and foibles. Of all the technologies that came about after The Return, smartphones and social media are by far the most useful and the most annoying.

Besides, the planning can wait; I need some time to process by myself, first, in this place of peace.

I will have to stand and give speeches. I’ll weep like a babe; centuries of life have not changed the fact that I’m an irredeemable drama queen.

Besides, it’s what Heartwing would have wanted. I can almost hear his voice now, teasing me. I can already feel the tears on my cheeks, even as I smile. He always was one to laugh at the most inopportune time.

For a while, he was my anchor. As the Elements, my Elements, started to pass on from old age, he was there by my side for each one. Nopony can truly be ready for something like that, but he did his best to prepare me.

He lingered, too. I got the sense that he was staying for Sunset and I, to make sure we would be fine.

Yesterday, he finally passed on. When I am ready, I will go search the sea of stars that shine down on the Path, and find his. The old soul deserves another rebirth, at least.

I shake my head. My thoughts truly are scattered today. Perhaps I shouldn’t be writing this on the eve of Heartwing’s funeral. But it seemed like a fitting mood for the closing chapter.

It was Sir Heartwing, finally, who convinced me to write. Though people had been asking for years, it was his voice that swayed me, because he reminded me of one thing. No matter how many accounts had been written of the so-called Great War, none had been written about Emberglow herself.

There have been, of course, other accounts. Professor True’s book is a biography of his father. Sir Opal’s piece biographies Sir Steadfast, though with dubious accuracy. Even Sunset Shimmer gave her perspective. But I had never allowed a single journalist to access the most intimate of accounts; Emberglow’s own journals and writings.

And she did write about it. Topaz Glitter suggested journaling as therapy for all of us, as the trauma of those events still plagued our nightmares and weighed fresh on our minds. I don’t believe Emberglow ever intended for any of these events to be made public; however, I can think of no better way to memorialize her than to remember who she was, and to share this beautiful pony’s life with all of you.

There is a commotion amongst my guards. They’re speaking with somepony. I smile. It is my darling student’s father. How he knew to find me here, I cannot guess. It’s probably her doing—my pupil is a genius at reading ponies. I wish I could claim credit, but the spark was already there.

I know, because I saw it. In an alternate future, in another timeline, another reality, I saw the potential for greatness in her. Given her own experience, Sunset Shimmer has warned me, many times, of the peril of my picking students the way Celestia did. But even though Sunset took a rocky path to her crown, Celestia’s methods still work.

Time will tell if my darling student will rise to the potential I saw in her. But, even if she doesn’t become an alicorn like Sunset or I, I know she will find another path to greatness.

My pupil’s father is done talking to the guards, and now I see her, bounding across the soft grass and between the obelisks, each one a memorial to one of the Elements of Harmony. I see her stop and stare at the black granite upon which Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark is carved.

She does always love it when I tell her stories of Twilight.

When she nears, however, she slows down. I see the nervousness in her gait.

“Sunny Starscout, my dear student. Welcome.”

My words wash away the nervousness, and she gallops over. I make eye contact with her father, and nod. He looks nervous as well. But Argyle is a wise pony. I imagine that, even though I had canceled Sunny’s lessons for today, her perceptive father guessed that I might be in need of company, regardless.

“H-hi, princess,” Sunny starts, smiling. “Um. Is it okay that I’m here? I know you wanted to be alone, but…”

She shuffles, one hoof rubbing on another nervously. A familiar motion, indeed.

“But what, darling?”

“But dad said you might need a hug.”

I have to choke back tears.

“I do, Sunny. Today, I do.”

With all the unpretentious honesty of foalhood she surges forward, wrapping her hooves around my neck. I hug her back.

“Thank you for coming today, Sunny.”

“Yeah!” she says brightly. “Um. I’m ‘sposed to say, sorry for your loss.”

She glances down, and suddenly her face lights up.

“Oh! That’s the notebook I gave you! Whatchya writing?”

“The end of a book, Sunny,” I say. “Something very special, about one of the Elements of Harmony.”

“Sir Heartwing?” she guesses. Of course that would be the first one to come to her mind. But I shake my head.

“No.” I point at the obelisk above us. “Do you remember who this mark belonged to?”

I can see her thinking, remembering her studies. “Lady… Emberglow. Element of Honesty. The… second one?”

“Third, actually,” I correct. “For before Applejack and Emberglow, the Elements were borne by the Sisters, Celestia and Luna.”

I wonder how much I sound like Twilight Sparkle. Do I have a lecture voice? Probably not, but I still sometimes feel her watching me whenever I teach. I sometimes still imagine the smell of libraries, of old paper and ink and dragonfire.

I hope I am half the teacher she was.

“Oh, right!” Sunny says. “And Emberglow was also…”

Her eyes widen.

“…um. Your wife.” Her gaze darts between the obelisk and my face. “Um. You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, I am,” I say. I smile at her. “It’s hard to write a book about somepony if you’re not thinking about them.”

“Can you read it to me? Like a story?”

Her eager joy makes my heart sing. I wonder if Celestia felt like this as a teacher. I know Twilight did.

“It might be a little scary for young ponies,” I tease, knowing what’s coming immediately after I speak.

Sunny stands up tall, puffing out her chest and trying, subconsciously perhaps, to make herself look as large as possible. “I’m old enough!”

“Well, then, we shall have to start at the beginning, won’t we?” I say. “But not right now. I’m still writing the book, after all.”

There will be a whole process afterwards. The editors already have the main body of my manuscript, and are likely hard at work. It will be months until publishing time. But I find myself impatient to share Emberglow’s life with an eager listener.

“Can I help you write?”

“Hmm. Well, what if you stay with me as I write? You can read as I do.” Maybe not the most efficient way of writing, as I know she’ll have questions. She always does.

Sunny slides in so she’s sitting next to me on the grass, and I slide the notebook so she can read. Lighting my horn, I levitate the pen and keep writing as she catches up.

I suppose, though, at the end of it all, I wanted to write Emberglow’s story not just as a history, or as a textbook. I didn’t want to write a mere biography.

I wanted a narrative, an epic that would capture the feel of those days, the tension and passion, the terror and elation. It wasn’t about facts, it was about emotion. Because no mere list of facts would ever come close to what I remember.

Perhaps that is why I cannot ever be objective. A part of me wishes the reader could live those days at our side, to understand just what it meant to me. And to be her. Perhaps it is not just the reader I wish to put into Emberglow’s shoes, but myself. I want to once again hurt when she hurts, and cry when she cries, and laugh when she laughs.

“Why?”

Sunny’s voice interrupts my train of thought. She’s pointing at the passage I just wrote.

“Why what, my student?”

“Why do you want to hurt and cry, like your wife?”

It is a foal’s question, of course. But there is a sort of wisdom to it, a wisdom that Emberglow realized, in that last, desperate moment.

“Because sometimes we have to embrace those things: pain, fear, and doubt.” Three centuries of life have given me experience, perhaps, but some things are still hard to articulate. “Emberglow understood how to allow herself to feel those things, to make them a part of her, without ignoring or rejecting them. The dark parts of our lives are still parts of our lives, and when I feel what Emberglow felt, even in her dark moments, it’s like she’s with me at my side again.”

“Oh.” She is clearly trying to wrap her head around the idea. I wait for more questions, but Sunny is busy thinking. So I write some more.

I hope the reader will not see me as being self-indulgent. Perhaps this whole exercise was something I did for myself, something I undertook so that I could better remember my beloved. Perhaps only I will find value in it, and if so, I am satisfied.

But my hope is that this chronicle will have some value for someone out there.

“Princess Rarity?”

Sunny is looking up at me. She’s troubled.

“Yes, my student?”

“When you’re done with your book, and after you read it to me, can you help me with something?”

“Of course. What do you need?”

She points at the page again, at the passage about my hope that my self-indulgent project will be of some use to somepony.

“Um, this. When you’ve told me Lady Emberglow’s story, would you help me write a book? About my mom? I don’t remember her much, but I love her. And I want to remember too. Like you. I want to feel what she felt.”

Tears clouded my vision again, and I looked at the last words I wrote.

Perhaps that would be sufficient for an afterword. Especially if, before it was even published, it was already inspiring my pupil.

“Of course I will, my dear student. Of course I will.”

The cycle continues.

The Path is eternal.

The heart never forgets.

The End

Author's Note:

I was not going to write out an extensive list of author's notes. But I would be remiss to not express gratitude.

First off, to my wife. You may never read this. But you let me bounce my insane ideas off you, and you were always a support.

Second, to Cyonix. Rekindled Embers never would have happened without your help. I know that life got busy for you and you were unable to finish, but your wisdom, your insight, your humor and your patience are beyond compare. Thank you, my friend.

Next, to my other editors. Thought Prism, Chyre, CommissarVulpin. You kept me going after Cyonix had to stop. And Thought, I can't wait to read what you do with the world. Vulpin, thank you so much for the typewriter photos you made.

Then there are the new editors. Celestilune, Randimaxis, and Badtigra. You were the last push I needed to get over the finish line. You didn't have to step up, but you did. Your attention to detail and world-building genius have been invaluable.

Finally to everybody, past and present, who has created fanart, side stories, or other RE content. Thank you. I never expected the response to this story, and am endlessly grateful for your viewership, and for your contributions.

I am not done with this world. I hope to be writing stories about this world for years to come.

I truly hope you enjoyed this story. Thank you for reading.

PreviousChapters
Comments ( 65 )

This story was a great read and it will be in my favorites.

"And, in the end... the love you take is equal to the love you make."

- The Beatles

It’s been a wild ride, and I’ve really enjoyed following the story. I look forward to whatever it will be that comes next!

Wow. The journey is over. Well done, Zombi. Bravo.

I'm glad to have played my part in this world as being part of the RP for... wow, it's almost been a year and a half. Thank you for letting me carve out my own little niche that you have accepted into the greater world. I have never latched on to a setting like this before, never written anything like this before. And never cried like this before.

And as much as the tale of Rekindled Embers has ended, the story continues. There is a big world out there and a lot of characters whose stories have only been lightly touched on. And I am here for it.

May Harmony guide and protect you, Applezombi.

This was an amazing end to this chapter of this world. While I'm sad good things come to an end, I'm looking forward to the next great thing you'll write.

Congratulations on seeing this opus through to the end. One of the best stories I've read, unquestionably, and a work you should absolutely be proud of. And I look forward to seeing what new trauma you'll slap us in the face with when next you put pen to parchment.

Sweet Celestia this is finally finished!
I'm gonna read the heck outta this!

It's been a great time. Thank you for creating and sharing this story with us. I've loved reading each chapter and it's bittersweet to see it finally come to an end. I'll be watching for more in this universe for sure!

Thank you for weaving such a tale. One that has taken us on a journey learning, loss, discovery, sorrow, hope and renewal. It was a masterfully spun story, so, once more. Thank you.

Oh my Dark Stars, this has to be my absolute favourite story here. Rekindled Embers has tugged my heartstrings since chapter one, and to finally see it finished is such an amazingly bittersweet feeling. Thank you so much for sticking with it, this epic means a lot to me actually. The way you write is simply entrancing. It's been a wonderful and exciting journey, and I wish you well in your future endeavours!

(P.S. If this became an actual book I'd buy it in a heartbeat! The next time the Ministry of Image is looking for new fics to publish I am so recommending this!)

Well its finally over :ajsleepy:, Im so glad i found this story that ive got to read for the last year. Your a great author and an amazing world builder. Cant wait for your next story be it mlp or something else! :raritywink:

wow, its really over. and honestly I don't think this could have ended any better way.
having the story be a retelling from Rarity, it reminded me a lot of the end of Fallout Equestria. (a story near and dear to me making this high praise)
this was a hugely enjoyable story, and I loved reading each chapter as it came out. Your storytelling is amazing and I look forward to anything else you write in the future.

Nice ending for a great story!

I don't even remember how I found this fic, but I know it was nothing short of chance. I may never win the lottery, but I certanly won big when I found this story. Same can be said when one day I just decided to give it a read.

You didn't get late to the fandom, as you once wrote in a blog, you got at the perfect time, and Rekindled Embers is proof of that.

Thanks for writing it.

Clicked to upvote and it went up by 7.... I'm going to take credit, even if it's not my doing.

Knocked the ending out of the park :) congrats on a job well done!

What a beautiful ending to an absolutely wonderful story!
Congratulations and well done!


"Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Be patient with yourself."

Love all round, and a clap and a half for the lad with a finished story!
:yay:

Thank you. I would put this novel up there with the best that fimfiction has ever put out.

Reframing a story as being told by someone else - that's the kind of framing I live for. Ending it with a commentary on legacy - a very fitting decision.

I know I haven't been an active commentator, but I do want to say I'm proud of you, apple! Writing something long is no easy feat, and finishing it less so. It's clear you've come a long way as a writer just through experimenting and testing with this story alone.

I look forward to what else you may do with this world. Some side stories about the kirins, maybe, this is totally an unbiased question lol :raritywink:

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Kirin stories are a distinct possibility, right now I've been working on some interesting world-buidling for all four of the races in the Knights of the Mother (zebra, bat pony, kirin, and hippogriph). Someday I'd really like to visit Treeholme and tell some of those stories!

I love it. I don't have much else to say other'n that. What a read from start to finish. I love it. Eagerly waiting for the next big story from Zombi whenever and whatever that may be :twilightsmile:

Such a beautiful ending for a beautiful story. It's very hard to be objective when you're talking about the one you love and it's good, it shows just how much you love them.

I'm going to be honest but this ending is. Well it didn't do it for me, which is a shame because I greatly enjoyed the worldbuilding and the story up to the end. It kind of feels like a door got slammed in the story's face with next to no closure. No closure on Emberglow with Steadfast, nor her parents, nor Turquoise. What about her wanting a foal with Rarity?

I really do like this epilogue but the denouement was thin enough to be practically nonexistent so I can't help feeling "Wait that's it?"

Loved this story!

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Even though I am sad to see this epic end, I am glad I got to experience it and travel this winding road with you all. Thank you applezombi.

P.s. downloaded for the next time.

I read most of this story, and while I ran out of steam during the climactic final battle it is today that I read the last couple chapters.

I thought the way the epilogue was written was on of the singularly greatest chapters ever written. While it’s been a while since I first started reading and some details are fuzzy, when the story ends all the memories of the journey crash down on you and your reminded of a tiny little squire going for a run through the park.

If you are not done with this world, then I hope to see what you do with it, maybe a story before the new generation, or perhaps, following a completely new character whose story runs parallel to RE? I look forward to the next installment of the REverse. And yes, I will be referring to it as the REEEEverse, because memes help with the sad.

11585253
Good news! The "parallel character" story is already in progress!

Working title is "Names"

Even though I am sad to see this epic end, I am glad I got to experience it and travel this winding road with you all. Thank you applezombi.

HEAR HEAR!

P.S. I would totally buy a physical copy of this epic if it was ever made available.

P.P.S. I should totally make some artwork for this story. It has plenty of great material.

I've been quietly following this story for a while now, but if it were ever to get a physical release, I'd happily purchase it and keep it on my bookshelf. This was an amazing story, and I'm almost sad to see it end.

Bravo bravo. I've been following this for awhile and I love your story. What a fabulous ending.

11585374
Oh sorry for bothering you and can I make my own spin-off or non-canon sequel to this story?

<3 for how turbulent and troubled this fic started out as im glad to have stuck around to see the characters grow and reach for this better more loving world. Also i never imagined rarity as the moon but it fits so well.

It’s been an incredible journey form start to finish ever since finding this fic, and it has inspired me in so many ways! I rally can’t express just how much it means to me, so I’ll just have to say bravo, seriously, bravo!

Don't you hate it how you can only like and favorite a story once?

Very surprised that the story has already ended... very sudden... but well I'm no writer...

Loved the story, a little bit a problem at the end there but nonetheless I would re-read this story in the future if I feel I need something good to read.

Love the world building is something that I always look for in a story, the importance of this is something that most Fan fic tend to forget or put aside.

Characters wise? Very creative, Interesting, Inclusive... wish we had more time with them? Hopefully some side stories like chronicles of the ponies in the new reing of Sunset and Rarity, like the buffalo fashonista? Her trans sister even? What about Spike? Those warriors from the zebras?

The idea of creating a twisted religion out of the elements will always be the major selling point of this story and it profits froms it so well... makes you think how susceptible we are as humans or intelligent beings when ignorance and prejudice overtakes common knowledge and reason

TLDR; Love your story, a little bit a miss step a the end...

So what's next? Any new story in the works?(not necessarily MLP theme related) if so share please I do believe you have a talent in world building and characterization.

Thank you so much for this story.

Thank you for an amazing journey:twilightsmile:

Oof. So, final thoughts time. There will be a giant wall of black here. Don't look, it's massive spoilers and both praise and condemnation that might color your own reading experience of this deservedly well regarded story.

I'll start out with praise, I guess. With very few exceptions, the actual prose of this story was excellent. The character interactions, as well as the characters themselves, were wonderfully written. It's perhaps unfortunate that the primary couple of this story showcased the best and worst of this aspect of your writing. Emberglow was, throughout the story, a complex and realistic character that stayed true while also growing and changing as she was shaped by her circumstances. Your depiction of her struggles with trauma and guilt were excellent, as were almost every example of a character going through the same. Rarity, on the other hand, made very little sense in the character growth department. Her side of the romance also felt very shallow. She's a petty character in the source material, and I feel like that was faithfully reproduced, which is a point for you as an author but perhaps a point against the story. This isn't to say that Rarity's a bad character, she's simply flawed like everyone else. The problems stem from her growth through the story, or lack thereof. She never seemed to learn the lessons right in front of her, except begrudgingly when her nose was literally shoved in one. She felt like she lacked agency in her own decisions, being led by the nose through her various roles by various characters. Emberglow, Heartwing, and Twilight especially pulled her along through the story. Her only consistency was wanting to recapture the life she'd lost, and there never was any kind of moment or sense of her acceptance that it was behind her. She never accepted anything, really. She whined, guilted, manipulated, and eventually acquiesced, but never accepted anything. She did things because she had to, because there was no other choice, but always with a sense of recalcitrance. And because of this, nothing felt like her own decision. Her alicornification cemented that for me.

The real meat of my dissatisfaction with this story is the overarching Adagio angle. She set up everything and killed herself. She said she'd won and she was right. Even if they fixed it in the end, she ruined their world for almost 1000 years. She layed a third of the population of Equestria at the feet of Twilight Sparkle in the form of a mountain of severed horns. Horrible in concept, but even worse in what it does to the antagonists of the story. Every villain became a tool, a dupe, a victim. Instead of righteousness in their beliefs at least, they became another faceless cog in the machine of a petty vendetta. This really took the gravitas out of the latter third of the story, and Steadfast's character specifically. For one thing, even though there were some very stirring scenes in the climactic chapters, there was no sense of victory. They lost 1000 years ago and were only now starting to fix the damage caused. At the end Steadfast became a literal puppet instead of the figurative one he'd been his entire life, and when the strings were cut he was hollow. His end felt mishandled to me as well, but not enough to harp on. In the same vein, Flurry and Bubblegum's deaths felt like a hamfisted attempt to add gravitas to the story that was overshadowed by the Adagio aspect. It felt hollow to me, and added nothing to the story. If it had been played up in the desperation of the characters it could have been useful tonally, but it wasn't. Add Sunset's almost immediate arrival on the scene and it lost even the small sense of significance it had.

I already expressed my incredulity in a previous comment at the handwaved birth of the Diarchy, so I won't go into that beyond saying that it never was addressed to my satisfaction. It was sparingly touched on further, but the unlikelihood of every scrap of the truth stamped out of a society with such a plethora of physical evidence is just a little too much for me.

Lastly, the epilogue felt like tonal whiplash. The last chapter ended on the characters expressing they felt the work was just beginning, that it was the start of their story. Timeskip to everyone not immortal (and one that ostensibly was) dead, Rarity settled into her role as princess with Sunset and the new generation beginning. It would have been a fine chapter and nod to gen 5 if not for doing a full 180 from the expressed intention of the previous chapter.

So, gripes aside, the ending was better than I'd expected. Even if the story had structural weaknesses, your prose has been excellent throughout and in that sense the story never faltered. Overall I'd rank it in the top 10% of stories on the site. I'd also like to note that this is all my personal experience and opinions, and I'm sure other people had wildly different takes and experiences. So take my comments for what they are, one person's opinions. Keep what feels useful and discard the rest. :trixieshiftright:

waiting for the day I start reading this. It will be one of the best reading journeys I'll ever embark. I could tell this means a lot to you, Apple. Finished the first chapter but won't stop there :heart:

Exquisitely done. Yes, there's a lot to cover in the timeskip, but this specific story, of how trust and serendipity led a devoted mare to self-fulfillment and revolution, and how arrogance and stubborness led a devoted stallion to ruin and oblivion, is complete. A gripping read from start to finish... even if I didn't always stay up to date with it. :twilightsheepish: Still, thank you for it. Looking forward to whatever you have planned next.

Also, I have to be amused by how, from a certain perspective, the post-timeskip Empire is better off than canon G5. It's like they got the Stupid Racist Era over with early... albeit with a lot more death and suffering. Still funny in a bittersweet sort of way.

Absolutely wonderful story. Thank you for the adventure. ♡

It's been a long time since I've had the occasion to truly dive into a story and just read it from one end to the other. This was delightful. I might come to regret the late nights I pulled along the way, but it was more than worth it. Really, thank you for writing this.

Definitely left me wanting more, but that just goes to show how much I loved this story! Definitely cried at the end there, well done.

I haven't visited the site in some time due to a number of reasons- how fortunate that when I get the inspiration to come back, it's to find that this incredible story has wrapped up so recently! And so beautifully! The intricacies of the worldbuilding, of the characters and their relationships! The edge of seat twists and turns!

On a more specific note story-wise, I deeply enjoy the fact that after all his grandiose plans to remake the world in his own image, so to speak, Steadfast Word ended his days in relative obscurity, unaware of his own self and surroundings. Pity that he didn't remain there, but that's also a realistic element to history. At least there are plenty of sources to refute any attempts to lionize him.

I made it to the and and I have to say is a great story.the last couple chapters did go on a bit but were still entertaining.
The epilogue was kind of full of surprises and I like how it ended. Well done.

This looks extremely promising, I'll give it a read as soon as I can.

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