It's Not Like It's Brain Surgery
Twilight Sparkle was dead.
Or that was the conclusion Sunset had come up with when she’d found Twilight sitting on her bed in her room, a rather alarming amount of drool pooling in the girl’s lap as she stared blankly at the far wall. On Twilight’s head sat a strange helmet, no doubt a device of Twilight’s own creation.
Sunset screamed.
She’d never seen a dead body before.
“Twilight!” Sunset reached out a shaky hand and tapped the girl’s shoulder, but got no response. Like any rational person, she shook her harder.
Twilight let out a low grunt.
“Oh, thank Celestia!” Sunset let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, so you’re alive, and you’ve got a weird helmet on. I guess I should take it off you?”
Twilight didn’t respond, of course, but Sunset still followed through with her idea and gently lifted the contraption off Twilight’s head.
It took a few seconds for Twilight to move but when she did, she flopped backwards onto the bed with a long sigh, a look of contentment on her face akin to post-coital bliss settled on the girl’s features before she noticed she had company.
“Sunset!” A wide smile crossed Twilight’s face. “When did you get here?”
“Just now, actually.” Sunset said, unsure if she should be worried or angry about the state she’d found her friend in.
“Great!” Twilight sat up and held out her hand to Sunset for the helmet. “I’ve been meaning to show you this, actually.”
Sunset didn’t give it back as she turned the thing over in her hands.
“What even is this, Twilight?”
The helmet was a bizarre mess of wires, circuitry, and metal, all frankensteined together with it’s wires leading to a metal toggle switch labeled on/off. The interior didn’t look any safer, with more wires and connections being kept away from the wearer’s scalp by a plastic cap that looked to be made of a comb, two plastic knives, and a sturdy headset from Twilight’s game computer.
“I made an off switch!” Twilight beamed at her friend as though she’d created the best thing in the last decade.
“Twilight, at the risk of sounding like I don’t appreciate that you’ve managed to build something out of stuff around your house, what the heck are you talking about?” Sunset asked as she set the helmet down on the only clear spot on Twilight’s desk.
The rest of the space was filled with a clutter of various electronics. Twilight’s laptop, an alarm clock, and a faded vibrating phallic object all sat in various states of disassembly on the desk.
“It’s simple, really. I wanted to turn my brain off, so I made something so I could.” Twilight smirked at her own genius, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose in that way that only smarmy geniuses could manage.
“You turned off your brain…” Sunset repeated slowly.
“Yep!” Twilight grinned.
“Twilight,” Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose, “that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How would you—no, why would you do something so idiotic? You could have killed yourself, or turned yourself into a vegetable!”
“Sunset, I’m a scientist.” Twilight said flatly. “I’d never be reckless enough to try something without extensive testing. Isn’t that right, Spike?”
A small purple dog whimpered and shrank as far back into the corner of the room as possible.
“I’ll admit Spike wasn’t the biggest fan of the prototype, but he regained use of his legs after a few days. And he got dog-safe ice cream as a reward once his tongue stopped swelling!”
Sunset’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find the words she was looking for.
“It’s not like I’m trying to put something like this on the market, anyway. This was more of a… pet project.”
Spike piddled himself in the corner at the mention of ‘pet project’.
“No, not like that, Spike. Now do me a favor and bring me a rag for that.” Twilight admonished.
Spike bolted from the room, apparently eager to have an excuse to flee.
“Okay, let’s back up for a second. Why in the world would you need to shut your brain off?” Sunset sighed, not looking forward to the answer.
“Well, sometimes I just need to not think for a while, you know? Things get stressful...” Twilight’s gaze flickered to the floor.
“Stressful?” Sunset cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve got college to look forward to next year, and Applejack’s going to start working on her farm full time. Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are all looking at community college—not that there’s anything wrong with that—and you’re going to that art school here in Canterlot.” Twilight let herself lie back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. I feel like I’m drifting away from you and the girls. Even Rarity has that job lined up at that boutique downtown. I’m the only one leaving.”
“Twilight, you knucklehead,” Sunset’s features softened, “you’re not drifting away from us. We’re just moving on to the next step.”
Twilight looked up from the bed. “Next step of what?”
Sunset shrugged. “Life, I guess.” She picked the helmet up off the desk again, turning it over in her hands once more. “I know it’s scary, but things change all the time. It doesn’t mean we’re going to drift apart. We’ve got phones and the games we play online and even Discord for video chats. Just because we’re apart doesn’t mean we’re not friends. And if the girls were here, they’d say the same thing.”
“Oh,” Twilight said lamely. “I didn’t think of it like that.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured.” Sunset couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Really?”
“Twilight, you made a really sophisticated helmet to turn off your brain rather than talk about what’s bugging you.”
“Oh, right.” Twilight grinned sheepishly at the ceiling.
“Just promise me you won’t make any more off switches, okay? We can’t have you shutting down like that. If I hadn’t been coming over, who knows how long you would have been like that?”
Twilight gasped. “You’re right! I could have been stuck like that for days if you hadn’t been here! I’ll have to put in a timer for the mark-two version. I think my mom has an egg timer in the kitchen—“
“No, Twilight.”
“But—”
“Let’s just say no and get some ice cream or something, okay?”
Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was was lost as Twilight shook the thought away.
“Ice cream sounds nice, actually.”
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Silly Twilight... and poor, poor Spike. Sunset, be sure to stay in touch with her regularly, for everyone's sake.
Lovely drabble. Thank you for it.
Darn it SciTwi, there are better ways to turn your brain off. Like going to the spa, or hiking in the mountains. Or using the thing Sunset found on your desk next to your alarm clock and laptop. Don't actually turn off your brain!
Thanks for the morning laugh.
Godspyre not-really-plug time: I have Pony Twilight's brain stolen by Carmen Sandiego, who is subsequently caught at the taco joint that the actual Godspyre character had staked out on the off chance that Carmen or a pony analogue would show up. P-Twilight then designs a spell for temporarily replicating that event because she'd never realized how exhausting it was to be herself until then.
P-Twilight as a name comes courtesy of 9959517. The man has plenty of courtesy to spare. >_>
I choose to believe this is a Beanis.
Is this one of those spoiler alert it IS brain surgery type things?
So, she achieved Zen without all that boring meditation stuff?
9959706
I'll neither confirm nor deny that theory.
Amazing. Such an invention, and it is not used for shenanigans, pranks or lewds.
Short, quick, with a good idea, and a nice execution. Love it
*throws money at screen*
damn it, why does the helmet not appear?!?
9960086
I could use one myself
I could DEFINITELY do with an off switch for my brain. Sci-Twi, think you could lend me that helmet of yours? I feel like I'm going to need to modify it a little bit for myself. But still, INCREDIBLE job!
9959517
Fluttershy wouldn’t not approve of you Twilight.
Hey Twilight, really easy way for you to turn off your brain! It's already been tested, approved, and there were no serious side-effects aside from grogginess afterwards!
It's called "taking a damn nap".
So Twilight developed a far more extreme version of Brian Aldiss's "The Pause Button"?
This was a very fun and touching story. A good reminder to us all that it's most always better to talk this out than to go it alone.
And poor Spike!
This is appropriate for both the story and the Author's Notes:
...na.
Wasn't this a Jimmy Neutron episode?
9960952
Was it?
Cue Sunset chuckling nervously and calling PETA...
9960952
9960967
It sort of was. There was an episode where Jimmy felt ostracized by his peers because of his huge head/brain. So he made a brain drain helmet to make himself normal.
Stuff backfired and he fixed it. But yeah.
9960499
Some people find it rather difficult to fall asleep when their mind is racing a mile a minute. And if you're the sort of person who is prone to vivid anxiety dreams, it may be outright counterproductive.
This was some silly fun!
9960968
PETA is closer to being literally Hitler than actual Neo-Nazis are. At least in the sense that Hitler would be more likely to join the former than the latter if he was somehow resurrected. (He renounced the latter with a bullet to his own brain, he never renounced the animal rights and veganism stuff that he also believed in)
9961330
I don't think he renounced Nazism. I think he "renounced" being held accountable for his actions by his enemies, especially the Russians.
What might get Hitler denouncing the Neonazis is that they don't universally hate Jewish people.
PETA has a similar fanatacism, but for causes that Hitler considered less important than his beliefs in white supremacy, genocide, and the rest. (If he considered it so important, he would have mandated vegetarianism.)
9962041
More that he renounced any hope of it ever succeeding. He lost, completely, and had just enough sanity to realize it.
9961330
Sorry, I meant that as a joke.
9962111
There's no need to apologize, the downvote was someone else.
9962107
You might be right. To at least some degree, we're seculating on the mindset of one of the worst people in history, and I don't think we can say with total confidence the reasons behind some of his later actions.
Twilight: Okay, no more off switches.
Sunset: Good - you have no idea what I might be tempted to do to your helpless, unresponsive body.
Twilight: W-w-what?!
Sunset: I mean, I might be tempted to draw on your face a little, maybe even pose you in a funny way. Why, what did you think I meant?
Twilight: Oh! Er, don't worry about it. Not like I'd resist anyway.
Sunset: What was that?
Twilight: Nothing!
(Wow, that was uncharacteristically suggestive by my standards.)
9961000
Gotta agree. When sleep refuses to arrive...An off-switch is just the thing
I heard Twilight got the idea after watching an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
I've reviewed your story here!
Wonderfully funny, but... Why?
Can I add this to my group, Science is Magic?
10531166
Go for it
Which also sounds dangerous to be completely honest.
9962231
.