• Member Since 25th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen June 1st

SoloBrony


I'm here to help. Avatar image courtesy of Taggerung

E

Things have been going pretty well for Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, lately. She's been resolving friendship problems left and right, and even Rainbow Dash has gotten in on the action, helping Twilight perpetuate her mad schemes (or just outright overriding them). As bold as Twilight has been, though, there are some lines she won't cross, even in the name of helping a friend.

Or she wouldn't, until now. Seeing Rainbow Dash's boldness in handling problems has inspired Twilight to bring her schemes to the next level, weaving a scheme of political intrigue, betrayal, forgiveness, pie, heartbreak, and oxford commas.

This insanity can be read on its own, or you can see the stories that led up to this tragic conclusion:

Librarian Twilight Sparkle: Tutor of the CMC

Librarian Twilight's Plan Gets Bodychecked By Rainbow Dash

(Cover image came off of My Little Face When. Source unknown.)

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 43 )

So much win.

So, so much win.

I do find it interesting how trusting Celestia is. She doesn't fret about the others taking over her duties for a day. Considering how much Celestia cares about doing the best for her little ponies that... well, that says a whole hell of a lot. Kind of takes me aback, honestly. Also sort of curious to see where this story will go since there's no obvious conflict or character development to be had on the table. Still, given the other two fics in the series, I'm looking forward to seeing wherever this leads.

Twilight drew herself up onto her hind legs, breathing in deeply and putting on her most imperious voice while gazing at the ceiling.

"... Tomorrow!"

*thundercrash* *deep ominous music* *#whathassciencedone?*

And with that, Twilight beckoned Rainbow Dash over to her, and began whispering her part in the scheme into her air, even though no one was listening in anyway.

Not a bad decision anyways. Pinkie probably has tracking devices everywhere.
And if not her, there's always Discord.

"You said it was a good point! By my count, that makes twenty-six 'good' points and ten 'fair' points for me! You've only had twenty-five 'good' points and eleven 'fair' points this week, so I'm ahead now!"

I think it's clear she's been spending too much time with Pinkie.

"Twilight unlocked the balcony door using an unlocking spell she had mastered just for the occasion"

Yeah, probably a better choice than investing in lock picking skill points.

There, Celestia slept peacefully, unaware of the danger lurking above her. Twilight grinned manically, and began to concentrate on her next spell.

So Twilight is ceiling pony?

Instead, Celestia just blinked a couple of times at her, and then nuzzled into her pillow a bit, her muffled voice floating up to Twilight.

"Twilight? What are you doing here?"

You should know better Twilight, Celestia is such a composed pony that aspects of her have been used by great masters to conduct orchestras.

Also some stuff involving vampires, but we don't like to talk about that.

"But...?"

Celestia laid her head down on the cushion, closing her eyes.

"But nothing! Thank you very much."

Celestia is also a great and powerful wizard and is probably mind reading. It was a very good speech and she was convinced.

"Ooh, foalnapping and extortion? My, my. Whatever has become of my innocent student?"

"She realized that princesses can grant royal pardons!"

I imagine another series of MLP movies. Equestria Oligarchs.

"Ah, you get it! The law states that a princess can't pardon her own crimes, but it says nothing about pardoning another princess!"

"Those laws weren't written with multiple reigning princesses in mind..."

"I know! Don't worry, Luna's supposed to fix that today."

And this is precisely why the Equestrian Federal Reserve needs to be defunded.

"Oh. Yeah, I'll be busy then. Wait, how did you know that?!"
Twilight sat back down on her throne as she winked slyly at Rainbow Dash.
"Because it's all a part of my plan!"
"... Huh? You planned for me to help Luna tomorrow?"
"Of course! And since you cannot help in my scheme tomorrow, you must help today..."

I sense a disturbance in the derp.

"You said it was a good point! By my count, that makes twenty-six 'good' points and ten 'fair' points for me! You've only had twenty-five 'good' points and eleven 'fair' points this week, so I'm ahead now!"

Or perhaps not.

Dash sank to the floor, frowning.
"Aww... that's a really good point."
Twilight facehoofed.

Goddammit Tiffany.

"Twilight? What are you doing here?"
"Uhh... abducting you."
Celestia snorted, and began snickering.

Is it weird that I found that whole exchange mind numbingly adorable?

I would be very interested to see where this is going. There's also a mounting sense of mirth at the fact that you mention a view, and do not describe it. There are a lot of inferences to be drawn about the carriage, and not all of them have to make conventional sense.

~nb4skeeter

Well, that was short.
And it was also rather mundanely heartwarming.
Don't worry, that's a good thing.

Is that... cinnamon? Apple cinnamon?

Damn, I could use some apple pie right now...

only to use it to levitated some pie into her mouth.

Das is porblem. It seems your sentence got into an argument with itself.

*typo resolved, but I like the comment because lolz*

Also I must say, I admire Celestia's... composure.

Celestia gently moved her limbs around, working the stiffness out of them as she slowly came to consciousness.

Unfortunately for Celestia it turns out that her trust in others was misplaced, and they had caused catastrophic solar flares and they were now living in a nuclear winter. On the positive side though people did have some epic snowball fights.

She forced open her other eye, and slowly sat up, stretching her neck a bit. She noticed her regalia gleaming in the sunlight on the unfamiliar nightstand next to her, and a wonderful aroma wafted up to her.

Is that... cinnamon? Apple cinnamon?

But it couldn't be her ex lover Apple Cinnamon. She died over four hundred years ago in a tragic roofing accident. And yet they never did find the body...

Celestia spared a glance behind her as she slid out of bed, and saw Twilight sitting at a table, pleasantly engrossed in a book. It seemed they were in a small hotel room.

No. I chose not to make the obvious joke at the opening and I stand by that decision!

"No, it's perfectly fine! Sleeping in is, like... totally normal on a vacation. I think. I mean, you must have needed it – and don't worry about the 'schedule', we're fine. It's not like I planned out every minute of the day."

Twilight chuckled, but became slightly self-conscious when Celestia stared at her. After a few more seconds, she became slightly indignant.

"What? I didn't!"

"Changeling imposter!"

While this was certainly a major diplomatic incident and it did harm relations with Hive Chrysalis, it was mostly worked over. Still a lot of trust was lost that day.

Celestia smiled warmly as she ate another slice of pie in silence. It had been a long time since people had gone so far out of their way out of genuine concern for her well-being.

A single tear fell, as she recalled Apple Cinnamon...

"I understand, Twilight. I'm not criticizing the idea; far from it, I'm grateful to have a friend like you. You're certainly right that a long life – and heavy responsibility – leads to falling into a bit of a... routine. I've had to try quite hard to avoid that, and it is something of a constant worry; it is a relief knowing that you're there, now, to... breathe life into things."

Puts a bit of another take on Celestia telling Twilight to go make friends. Almost like she's got some regrets.

"By the way... how's your aim with a catapult?"

Certainly her catapult skills had slipped, with the invention of the Trebuchet it seemed uneccesary to keep her Catapulting training up, and it had been a long time since the war. But what really kept her from the catapult was that horrible roofing accident. Still, it was time she moved on with her life.

6822116

But it couldn't be her ex lover Apple Cinnamon. She died over four hundred years ago in a tragic roofing accident. And yet they never did find the body...

This thought unfortunately didn't occur to me. Stupid miniature horses, with their thematic naming schema...

Puts a bit of another take on Celestia telling Twilight to go make friends. Almost like she's got some regrets.

:o
:/
Also didn't occur to me. ...
:'(

6822116 Seeing you write memetic fanfiction in your comments to my memetic fanfiction FILLS ME WITH derp


6822132 It occurred to me...

Is that... cinnamon? Apple cinnamon?

That moment when you miss a perfect opportunity to work a subtle Undertale reference into your story...

Comment posted by SoloBrony deleted Jan 11th, 2016
Comment posted by Tourquilian deleted Jan 11th, 2016

6822897 Don't worry...I don't think I like the idea of a butterscotch pie...Pumpkin on the otherhand...

6823179 Well...Pony tactile telekinesis could be used for wall crawling if said pony knew what it was doing...

Both hilarious and character development in unexpected ways. Nice.

"Exactly! You're wondering what can keep ponies from drifting apart, but that's silly, because"—

it's simple. We make time together, and remember to enjoy the little things that make us happy, and never forget why. You see...

"the answer..."

is TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Watch the show...

6825748 I find it amusing that you say it's slow to start, since the usual criticism I get is that my writing is too concise and fast-paced. WE ARE SPIRIT-KIN OF THE DON'T-WASTE-OUR-TIME CLAN

6823721 I know what you mean. Butterscotch pie can be used to restore your HP to full, but its true purpose is sinister...


6825762 The part of my random comedy fic that involves abduction, extortion, and treason was slow-paced for you, but the part where the ponies sit in a hotel room and chat is fine.

My conclusion is that adding pie solves all pacing problems.

6826921 Uhh...haven't actually played Undertale...just know my memes...(do even dare ask what the true purpose of butterscotch pie is?)

6827011 To be honest, nothing that sinister. It's mostly just nostalgic.

Aww...

Still, a more general solution would be nice. Twilight can't be there for every group of estranged friends.

... I just had a Purplesmart moment, didn't I? :twilightoops:

In any case, I quite enjoyed Celestia the artillerymare.

Celestia tracked the guard's movements through the air carefully; this one had been a great thorn in her side, and she would see him fall before day's end.

I assume she's laughing like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nko6o_EZ2o

Celestia tracked the guard's movements through the air carefully; this one had been a great thorn in her side, and she would see him fall before day's end.

In hindsight, it was probably a better choice to continue using the Equestria Federal Reserve to do her theft, not bank robbery. However, she needed her Payday too.

The resulting pie splatter was spectacular, and elicited an uproarious laugh out of everyone gathered.

One of these days I'm going to need to make a game design for Jim Lorfen's Pastry Trebuchet.

Twilight smirked as she jotted down a few final notes on the soldiers' performance.

This will be useful for when she commits the bank robbery.

"I know better than to structure a day out around trying to one-up the Canterlot castle kitchen staff."

History still remembers the tragedy of that tea party and the senseless and unnecessary casualties.

"You stuck me in Ponyville. Near Pinkie Pie. Just living near her is like a compulsory party planning course!"

Between this and English Lit she felt like the institute was just trying to waste her time.

"And so giving me a chance to show Luna I trust her, by letting her take over my duties for a day?"

What Celestia and Twilight did not expect was to find the castle missing, and in it's place the largest crop circle either of them had ever seen.

"But...?"

Celestia laid her head down on the cushion, closing her eyes.

"But nothing! Thank you very much."

Celestia trusts Twilight to handle stuff... Surprising absolutely Twilight. And exclusively Twilight.

6821663

Oh, nevermind. (:-P)

"Ooh, foalnapping and extortion? My, my. Whatever has become of my innocent student?"

"She realized that princesses can grant royal pardons!"

Celestia, Luna, Cadence, take note. This is why Twilight Sparkle is everyone's favourite Princess.

"Those laws weren't written with multiple reigning princesses in mind..."

"I know! Don't worry, Luna's supposed to fix that today."

I mean, my God, it's like if Tyrion Lanister existed in a setting that wasn't terrible where everything was doomed to suck.

Twilight sat back down on her throne as she winked slyly at Rainbow Dash. [...] "You know, Dash, you're right. That's a really good point. I'll go ahe—"

"YES!"

Dash flew into the air and hoof-pumped, a huge grin forming. Twilight just tilted her head slightly, confused.

"What?"

"You said it was a good point! By my count, that makes twenty-six 'good' points and ten 'fair' points for me! You've only had twenty-five 'good' points and eleven 'fair' points this week, so I'm ahead now!"

Ah, so it is... a game of thrones.

"Aww... that's a really good point."

Twilight facehoofed.

Sorry, Dash, but when you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you derp.

Oh hey, just found the spoiler tag. Now I don't have to show the whole fic anymore. Also this got rather long...

I shuffled on my cushion, trying to keep my nerves down. I was still unsure of this whole idea; the nervous twitch in my legs told me that we shouldn't be doing this, but Twilight had rightly pointed out that we couldn't avoid this forever. I didn't want to avoid this forever.

Can see what you meant earlier about how you had thought about this aspect, that Celestia wanted Twilight to make friends out of her own regrets.
And yeah, those sorts of stories on the show, dealing with lonliness and such? Can be hard to watch because of the serious take.

I heard voices out in the hall; after a moment, I identified them as Twilight and Celestia. I did my best to compose myself as I heard Celestia's distinctive hoofsteps approach, and tried to put away my doubts that seeing me would ruin Celestia's day off.

Notlestia? Huh. Who is it? At the time of writing? Thinking Luna. Discord was also considered but I wonder if this is how he'd be thinking? And, if this sort of arc even makes sense for him.

"Sunset...?"

Ah. Right. I did accidentally see that name when my eyes were trying to focus on the start. Whoops! And here I was thinking about a Discord arc...

Her voice was cracking, and the sound sent daggers of ice through my chest. Even at my most spiteful and wicked, I'd never honestly believed I could hurt her like this, even if I had sometimes wanted to. I certainly didn't think, by the time I left, that she even cared about my absence.

And this would be the point I'd probably stop being a smart ass. Identify a bit too much here.
And think I might need to take a bit of a break. Little thirsty, but also rather a bit of an emotional scene. One of those triumphantly sad things... touching that this is getting out in the open.

Celestia just pulled me in tighter, and I felt her breath hitching. I stayed there with her, as she rocked back and forth slightly, for a short while, before I gently pulled back a bit - not out of the embrace, but enough to look her in the eyes – and see how full of regret they were. "Celestia... why?! I was the one who stormed out, who wouldn't listen to reason – I was blinded by, by ambition, a-and I was angry, I hoped I would hurt you when I left... you shouldn't be sorry, you should be angry! I was a complete failure!"

It's almost like Celestia isn't someone that just reacts to these feelings, and is someone that choose who, and what she is.

"Sunset, I've heard about your situation from Twilight; how you've been a good friend, a staunch ally... somepony with compassion and sincerity. I thought I saw those traits in you, but I... I lost faith in you. Your ambition was so strong, I convinced myself that I could not... I gave up. I became impatient, and I gave up on something so important to me..." "I didn't give you a choice, though!"

How does one get through to someone who refuses to be gotten through to? And how does one get over putting a person through that? Rhetorical question, but I'm starting to suspect the answer is to bring other people in that are able to force perspective. Hence how there's a magical princess of friendship.

"You lacked friends as well, Sunset. Like her, you were ambitious – and like her, you... I failed you, as your teacher. As her teacher failed her. Neither of you saw an alternative... but I should have. I thought of your lack of friends as a failing on your part, without considering how it was eating away at you. I didn't understand how you were replacing the feeling of validation one receives from friends... with the feeling of ambition, of success."

Insightful. When we think of histories "ambitious" (I don't see ambition as a flaw, but I digress) figures, those dictators and tyrants, and those who would build empires. And these business moguls, investment bankers, and warlods? How many of them could be said to feeling alone? That the desire for power was a way of trying to feel connected to something]?

I leaned against her, screwing my eyes shut. I wasn't sure what else to say. Everything felt so wrong; I didn't want to hear the person I had hurt so much apologize to me... and I knew she didn't, either. I thought back to those days, before I left... when I thought more power would fill the hole inside of me. When I felt so weak.

When you're trying to get strength helps if you know what kind of strength to get.

"I came here, to see you, because I felt ready to apologize. I felt ready to speak to you, because I thought I'd put all of that... behind me. It's something I've discussed with my friends... the way I lost control because of how jealous I was of Twilight. Some new girl who had just walked into everything I'd ever wanted... and who won respect, and adoration, without showing even a shred of that burning drive that had carried me so far. You're... not wrong about how badly I needed someone other than myself to tell me that I mattered."

Pretty understandable that. Would take someone rather exceptional to not feel jealous. You could argue that she should be a better person but... why? What even is that? How are those concepts suppose to reach? Examples help. So does confrontation.

"I should have gone myself. I should have gone to find you, should have told you how I felt... or at least used the book we shared. I kept trying to convince myself that I should give you space – just like I convinced myself that you were beyond my help. Instead, I sent Twilight... I thought she would do better at getting through to you. And I was right, but not because of any animosity you had for me..."

No reason to think that would have worked. She had tried before after all. Was the situation that different that it would create different responses? Would defeating Sunset have caused her to reevaluate her views? COULD Celestia beat Sunset Shimmer even if it had come to that?

Celestia's voice hitched. I remembered the old resentment I had felt towards her, the burning question that had plagued me those first years I spent in the human world. I had to know. "I always expected that, one day, you would show up. Drag me back to Canterlot with, I don't know, a dozen guards, or... something. Why... why didn't you?" "I couldn't bring myself to admit how much I cared. Not to you, not even to myself. All of this... all of it could have been avoided, if not for that. Twilight has had to fix so many of my mistakes... because of that simple cowardice."

No one is perfect. I suppose this is why there two three four princesses. I'd say Equestria has a problem when it come to royalty inflation but eh, the number of princesses compared to the number of issues is probably still not reaching market equilibrium. The Free Market needs to decide on how many princesses there are! It's the only way that makes sense!

"Your standards for yourself have—" I realized that I was giving her the same speech that someone had recently given me. I smirked as I spoke further. "... They've become unreasonable. The rest of us aren't entitled to your love. You aren't a bad pony for not being able to open up to others. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own problems, maybe I'd have seen it. And if that makes you a coward... what does it make the rest of us, hmm?"

Could make reference to some things I'm not well informed enough to talk about like "pathogical altruism" or master/slave morality. Or how the industrial revolution has taken us apart but... this is Equestria. Celestia seems to be the one setting the systems. Either way she hasn't been thinking about herself enough.

A deeply touching moment. Very well done.

Also, interesting to see a Sunset who left after Celestia took on Twilight. I don't think I've ever seen that before.

In any case, I'm very glad I encouraged you to continue the original idea. Thank you for this.

6829938 Buh? I didn't mean to imply she left after Twilight. She was jealous of Twilight in the Equestria Girls movie. X.X

That aside, you are quite welcome.

6830653 >Initiating Author Meltdown Sequence

I'm a failuuuuuuuuuure :raritycry:

But it couldn't be her ex lover Apple Cinnamon. She died over four hundred years ago in a tragic roofing accident. And yet they never did find the body...

A single tear fell, as she recalled Apple Cinnamon...

Certainly her catapult skills had slipped, with the invention of the Trebuchet it seemed uneccesary to keep her Catapulting training up, and it had been a long time since the war. But what really kept her from the catapult was that horrible roofing accident. Still, it was time she moved on with her life.

Oh my God, Sorry, Solo, but the best part of this fanfic may be in the comments...

As much as I wanted to refute the idea... it sort-of made sense. And then it hit me; as the Princess of Friendship, I do sometimes have to take care of things, and I do help in organizing some state events, but when I'm not, I should be organizing something else."

Celestia smirked.

"Your fellow princesses?"

Such Twilight, very Sparkle. Wow. What's this? An imperfectly efficient system? A sudden influx of FRIENDSHIP ought to put a stop to that!

"Oh, you liked the pie, huh? Well, I have good news for you – there will be lots of pie today!"

Brace yourself, Derper is coming...

I refer of course to everyone's favorite relative of Pinkie Pie, Derper Catapult Pie - renowned catapult munitions harvester who discovered that catapults not only make for effective siege weapons, but - with the application of Derper's Patented "Cobbler Shot" - also make for an exciting party attraction.
The more you know!
(Naturally, Derper had to retire in shame after the scandalous misuse of his Cobbler Shot at the royal party that was otherwise the height of his career.)

My God this comment just keeps digging itself deeper and deeper down the depths of derp...

I must be tired; think I'll just quit while I'm aderp.

"I see. Well, I look forward to it, then. Given the arrangements, I had simply assumed you organized all of this just so I could see my niece again."

"Oh, that was a nice bonus, but like I said, Celestia, today was just about getting you a day off."

"And so giving me a chance to show Luna I trust her, by letting her take over my duties for a day?"

"Bonus."

"And getting a few hours in with your brother and Cadance?"

"Bonus!"

Such Visionary, very Visionary, wow.
>_>

I'll be honest, this part in particular has been pretty feelzy

The fact that it starts so slowly makes it so much better when the crazy starts.

Much squee, very dawww. Thank you for writing this.

*reads title* *snorts*
Oh, this is gonna be good!

*reads summary**snicker*
No, this is going to be really good!!

*reads first chapter* *explodes into laughter*

Oh lord, Twilight. Never change. Just...never change.

Also, I sense I will soon be screaming with laughter....

Ah, a fine Celestia. Exposition of a long life and routine building up like limescale in the pipes, begging for the novel!

Two of my favourite horse-ladies! Fluffy discourse! Reconciliation! Ah, lovely.

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