• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
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Jade Ring


"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -Maya Angelou

T
Source

It has been fifteen years since the Battle of the Bell, that terrible day when friendship failed and the forces of evil were triumphant. The conquerors of Equestria carved the land into three and settled into their rule, comfortable in the knowledge that nopony would ever be able to stand against them again.

In her home, a manor-house she calls Story's End, the Empress Cozy Glow receives an unexpected visit from a most expected visitor. It's a night she has long anticipated; the absolute final victory over the forces of light and love. After all, what has she to fear?

How much of a threat could an exiled princess from the far north possibly pose?

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Cover art borrowed from lilith1light.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 54 )

How boring. Another member of the Sparkle family is OP, rather than using skills or any strategy.

10042846
Kind of agree about it being boring, but more because Cozy was boring. Yeah, she's canonically evil for evil's sake, but I like stories that work some intricacies into it.
I was thinking this story could be interesting if Cozy was evil, but because it turns out she has this twisted, storybook view of her life where she's the villain that heroes rise up against, and so acts as evil as she believes she's supposed to. She expected to lose to Twilight and company, and when her team won, she just shrugged it off and continued doing her villainous work, sure that it simply meant it wasn't the end of the story yet and she's meant to inspire some other hero or group of them to rise to the occasion. She acts like a stereotypical "Mad Queen" caricature to do this; breaking up families and killing parents so that some filly or colt will swear vengeance on her and raise a rebellion to storm her mansion.
Hence "Story's End." She expects her story to end there. If I were the writer, I'd make her feel excited when Flurry shows up and starts holding her own in the fight. Slowly, though as she actually gets hurt and realizes that Flurry is going to just kill her without giving her some grandiose death or redemption end moment Darth Vader style, she comes to terms with reality and her mortality. As she realizes what exactly she's been hoping for, she decides that she doesn't want to be the villain who gets killed, but it's too late to back out.
She's crazy, after all, and it should be an interesting form of crazy.

My, my, I have to say this is very good

Awesome story!

Jhonn #5 · January 20th · · 3 ·

anything that includes Flurry is op.

Please create the new story mentioned at the end of this story.

As someone who likes Cozy and wants to see her reformed this was very sad for me to read, but I will admit that it was a well-written story. Flurry was pretty cold, but considering the circomstances I guess it would makes sense for her to grow up like this.

Flurry Heart took a deep breath. “That’s what my Auntie Twilight would have done. She would’ve given you the chance to repent, to see the error of your ways.” She closed her eyes. “But she’s not here. She’s not here because you murdered her.” Her eyes shot open, and the light was blinding. “So I’ll grant you the same mercy you gave her. It’s more than you deserve.”

As much as I want to agree with Flurry here I doupt Twilight would have been that mercifull given the s8 and 9 finales.

I honestly was expecting this to be Cozy's mind, a story she'd made up in her head while stone

10042846
what are you talking about, she used one of the best skills of all in fighting.

If Flurry_heart told Cozy glow about using the bell then she would've bolted, fought more smartly, or tried to involve hostages she could use against her. Flurry_heart waited until Cozy glow was sure of her victory and nearly depleted her magical reserves so she couldn't escape before Flurry_heart revealed that she had used the magic of the bell. She also manipulated her into thinking she had lost her calm only to play up to cozy glow thinking she was winning.

Unless Deception isn't a part of some fighting strategy then it was just brute force.

10042941
I was going to comment on the season 8 and 9 finals but you beat me to it, good work.

"You, who are without Mercy, now plead for it? I thought you were made of sterner stuff, Megatron."

~ Transformers: The (1986) Movie

.

That line always comes to mind when the 'Unrepentant Villain' (Cozy Glow, in this case) does that. :ajsmug:

loved it but i have ended it with cozy knowing she dead and congratulating flurry heart

cozy glow: well done flurry you won and you did it like a villain, your mom and aunt wouldn't approve but i do ...end it

ending would be the same but her words would haunt flurry heart, she saved equstria restored school of friendship and yet the story ended on a sour note

I have to say, for a "what if the villains won" story, this is quite inspiring...

10043195

villains don't deserve that

This story is almost as edgy as Season 9 finale (in a bad way).

I have to nitpick here. When cadance started draining flurry, she took her wings away and told her she hadn't earned them, and that her unicorn powers would remain. But Cozy was a pegasus, not a unicorn. So cadance should have only been able to take her horn away.

10043463
Uh... Um... Flurry... Didn't.... Know that?

Crap. That's on me. Fixed the line.

Well, "talking while fighting" is a pretty common trope that can be nicely used, but come on, on this level that is ridiculous. Although, judging from ratings, most folks don't object so...

10042989

If Flurry_heart told Cozy glow about using the bell...

And she mentioned the bell at all because?

10043504
to un-rattle her, imagine finding out one of your old friends hid the fact that the one thing that could stop you wasn't destroyed.

That or the writer who wrote this obviously wanted to explain Flurry heart's power up since it'd be disliked if it came out of no where.

He did it better than star wars the last jedi

This story was skillfully written and I admire that, but reading it made me sad. With the tags, I thought it would be a heated argument between Cozy and Flurry, Flurry denouncing and criticizing Cozy. I came into it expecting to have intense, angry debate, not a battle. Flurry arranging the deaths of Chrysalis and Tirek was unexpected, and her killing Cozy was as well.

I wonder if this should be tagged "Dark"? "Teen"? I'm not sure.

Comment posted by vortex123 deleted January 21st
Comment posted by vortex123 deleted January 21st

10043608
I debated about the rating and the Dark tag, but ultimately I couldn't justify either. Outside of a few mentions of death, there's nothing very Dark about it. Everything that could be considered Dark is mentioned in passing or in the background.

As to the rating, it was much the same thing. Flurry and Cozy's battle is intense, but mostly bloodless. There's no language, nothing super intense... I'm comfortable with the Everyone tag.

10043765
A couple lines stood out that made me think Dark

“Oh, I didn’t kill anypony. I defeated Chrysalis in single combat, took the Bewitching Bell when she offered it in exchange for mercy, then let Starlight Glimmer deal with her as she saw fit.”

“Starlight Glimmer is alive?”

Flurry Heart nodded. “Very much so. Or did you think somepony as evil and vindictive as Chrysalis would be satisfied with only killing her? She kept her imprisoned and forced her to watch as her new horde hunted down everpony she’d ever loved. Her father, Trixie…” She closed her eyes. “Sunburst.” She opened them again and glared at the Empress. “She made her watch while she drained them, drove them insane, and finally murdered them. Now, after all that, do you really think Starlight was in the mood for mercy?”

Cozy Glow absorbed all this information as stoically as she was able, then turned back to the liquor and drained the entire bottle in several long swallows. She pulled it away from her mouth, panting slightly. “And Tirek?”

“You haven’t seen him in a few years, have you? You know how he got bigger the more magical essences he consumed? Well, after the millions of ponies and other magical creatures he’d feasted on over the years, he was roughly the size of a mountain. He could barely move.”

“Easy pickings for you.”

“Incredibly easy, but I didn’t kill him. Not exactly. I used the bell on him. Turns out that centuries of absorbing and losing vast amounts of magic tends to wear out one’s heart.”

This is probably my favorite version of flurry heart bravo

Cozy Glow’s eye twitched as the burn on Flurry’s chest began to heal itself. “You… you said you gave it back!”

“Oops. Guess I told a little lie.” Her smile widened. “Somehow I don’t think my parents will mind. Besides, I’m still going to give it back. I just had a little business to attend to first.”

“This is impossible!” Cozy Glow screamed. “Nopony could hold all that magic!”

Cozy just had her "fortune has dazzled me" moment. When she realizes her power has made her complacent and vulnerable.

As much as I liked the story, if not necessarily a "Dark" tag, I think I'd agree it would fall under the spirit of a "Teen" rating more than it does "Everyone," albeit I think maybe it would be on the lower end of the rating. A "PG" sort of rating, if you will.

That debate aside, I didn't see the twist of "I lied, I borrowed that vast amount of power" coming, at all. It was a clever trick to pull, and it adds to the irony of how Cozy Glow the Manipulator Extraordinaire was brought down, lulled into a false sense of security, after she'd grown complacent in her vast power.

Only real regret would be that Cadance wasn't involved in fighting (she is quite powerful, good at magic [especially considering she was originally born a pegasus], after all), but it's justified enough that she wasn't, for obvious reasons.

As far as a different way to approach the premise goes (not saying it would be necessarily "better"), I think it'd be an interesting enough idea to put more of an emphasis on how Flurry Heart's mindset is shaped by the palpable darkness she was raised in, the pressure growing up as one of the last pieces of hope the world has, as one of the last free and living alicorns.

Well, in any case, that was a rather hopeful note to end on, wasn't it? She will probably live a long, long time...

10043475
I hope that you were able to follow that because i JUST realized I fucked up the names.

10042989

It's a fine story if you like Naruto-esq bloodline jutsu coming into play and saving the day at the last leg of the "race". It was an overdone story troupe in Naruto and it is overdone in all fanfiction genres and therefore a very boring idea to me especially when written like this.

“I could probably use the chaos magic too, if I wanted. Maybe I’ll give it a test drive before I give it back to Discord.” She winked. “Oh, forgot to mention that he was still alive too. Tirek was using him as a jester.”

I have to wonder if Flurry is even aware that this was all Discord's fault that Equestria suffered this fate and that the heroes of Equestria and many others were dead because of his actions. Perhaps once she knows, she'll decide not to give him back his powers.

If there was ever a sequel to this story, that would be interesting to see the fallout of Flurry learning Discord ultimately caused this.

Comment posted by The Dragon Warlock deleted January 21st
TDR

Quite a interesting revenge fic

Thusly, Alondro didst appear and say unto Crazy Glue, "Beeyatch, you ain't even a one-dimensional character. You be da dirt one-dimensional characters scrape off their shoes before they go on a date with sparkly vampires."

And lo! The burn was so great that Crazy Glue didst crumble to dust as through mighty purple fingers had snapped.

And there was much rejoicing.

:trollestia:

This was good, but toward the end I just kept thinking that Cozy Glow would whip out the Staff of Sacanas, since we know from Equestria Girls: Spring Breakdown that Twilight kept it in her castle, and episodes like A Matter of Principals (season eight, episode fourteen) and The End in Friend (season eight, episode seventeen) made it clear that she put virtually no security around magical artifacts in her keeping. That would have let her turn the tables on Flurry in an instant. Or that maybe Cozy would make a run for the Mirror Portal to the human world, where unicorns and alicorns can't use their magic since they have no horn, or something else with all of the magical artifacts that Twilight left lying around.

10043372

I'm reminded of the scene in the Avengers when Tony tells Loki that even if they lose today, it means that Loki will have plenty of enemies fighting him tomorrow.

We see this play out in Endgame: Thanos wins, but all the surviving heroes later hunt him down, and conspire to undo his dirty deed.

Later in the movie, when Thanos brings his forces to destroy the world, all the heroes he banished come back for one final showdown.

Tyrants may triumph, but their reign isn't guaranteed. Cozy Glow has so alienated others, that she has nopony to save HER when Flurry comes back for revenge.


10043181

It just shows you how utterly pathetic these characters are.

10044723
Except with Equestria Girls, all Flurry would have to do, depending on if she was told about Sunset Shimmer and them having magic there and dealt with threats, is find Sunset, Tell hrt What Cozy Did and leave the little bitch to her fate at the hands of 7 VERY PIssed off and Magical Humans.

10044871
Oh, there is a way. Stalin's approach. Don't banish your enemies. Kill your enemies. Then kill all who you suspect might be enemies. Then kill all who might eventually turn into your enemies. Then kill everyone sufficiently competent or sufficiently powerful to have the ability, or potential to obtain the ability to overthrow you, completely regardless of their loyalty. Just don't complain that you're surrounded by idiots, because that's all who's left alive.

Woah, loved it.

What happened to Celestia and Luna?

Frankly, even without the bell, I just went in thinking a phony brand-X "alicorn" whose power was taken from someone else to begin with versus the only natural-born alicorn in existence? This can only end well. :ajsmug:

Nice work. :pinkiehappy:

10044620
I'm actually kind of concerned Discord might be demented or, at the bare minimum, wouldn't be content with turning the villains to stone anymore. Keep in mind she killed Fluttershy.

10045566

It certainly worked for Stalin...up until the end of his life.

The story of how he died goes kind of like this: he was so notorious for purging people, that when he had his stroke and didn't come out of his room, none of his guards or servants bothered to check on him until after it was too late. Why? Because he ordered them to, and all of his guards knew very well about what happened if you disobeyed Stalin.

When they did find him, his subordinates delayed getting medical help. Partly because they may have been trying to hasten his death, but also because Stalin has just purged his own doctors (thinking their was a Jewish plot to get him) and didn't want to contradict orders. It is also theorized that he may have been poisoned.

In any case, Stalin's paranoia partly did him in.

10045788
Well, according to Flurry, the other two villains are dead now. Starlight, enraged by what Chrysalis did to her most likely tortured her to death. Tirek had a massive heart attack when the magic of all the creatures strained his heart and all of it taken away caused his heart to stop. No, I think in this case, Discord would most likely be depressed by it all. After all, it was his plan that ultimately caused Equestria to be enslaved for 15 years. He got his friends killed, he lost basically everyone he knew, the few that he knew that survived were forced to watch their loved ones die, many creatures died under the three's reign, and so many more horrors. To Discord, all of this was his fault as he lost everything because he arrogantly put everyone in severe danger, and now he's forced to live the rest of his life with that feeling that he's responsible for this. He may not have killed any creature, but he allowed the three villains to come to power and cause this. For Discord, there's no more jokes, no laughing, no sarcasm, and no chaos. He's a broken being most likely, and will have to carry the weight of all he's done, and the blood of thousands, if not millions, on him forever.

This is something worth looking into for a possible sequel. One that explores Discord's overall thoughts on what he did, and now that he's "free", he can think about what he did and how all of this was pretty much his fault.

LOVE Flurry Heart stories. She just has so much potential since we know nothing about her. Being the niece of Twilight and daughter of Shining Armor and Cadance also helps. The possibilities are endless with her character.

If I do have a writing regret, it's that I had to scrap an idea for a Flurry Heart fanfic so I could use it for another novel (non-MLP). It just worked better as it's own thing. Still, I might have to make a MLP version of the story in the future. In the meantime, keep these Flurry Heart fics coming!

Well written. Quite well written.

I hate Cozy Glow. As a character. I just hate her.

Ahh, I love me a good revenge story :) Well done

Interesting that Flurry is presented as a little more pragmatic than the usual Equestrian Hero template. Of course, all of said heroes were either murdered or captured, tortured, etc, so perhaps it's not surprising she chose a slightly different path.

Presumably she lied about the bell specifically so Cozy wouldn't try anything related to it (taking it back, draining magic from it, activating it, etc). Of course, that means that the only reason she even mentioned it in the first place was so that it could be a Chekhov's Gun rather than abruptly making an appearance at the last moment. And *maybe* to throw Cozy off by making her angry or overconfident. It might have worked better if there had been something along the lines of "I used the bell to give everypony's magic back, yes, but - funny thing, when I said I was coming to take *you* out, you would not believe the number of ponies who lined up to loan theirs back to me for a few more hours. You're not just fighting me; you're fighting every pony you ever lorded it over."

(Also, I was half-expecting that when Flurry poured and drank some water, making herself an easy target in the process, that would turn out to be another illusion.)

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