(Trigger warning: thoughts of self termination)

Well, hello friends. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?

What a wild few months it's been. Ex-wife finally moved out, divorce is actually making progress, I didn't have to claim paternity of the new kid she had back in January... it hasn't been a total shit-show, I guess.

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I didn't want you.

I can't remember the first moment I saw you. I know Megan singled you out. Your name was Bella, and I didn't care for it. They told us your history. You were born in the pound, they said, and adopted as a puppy. You came of age on a South Dakota farm, and one day you got out of your fence and ate the neighbor's chickens. They brought you back to the place you were born, and if no one adopted you soon you would die there.

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Premiering Tomorrow

No. I will not elaborate.

So I've been trying to find ways out of my recent funk, and this was one of the most recent attempts. I thoroughly enjoyed the freshman season of Hazbin Hotel, particularly the outstanding musical numbers and how the whole season could, with just a few small modifications, be made into a Broadway style stage musical.

So I figured hell, why not do the same with Friendship is Magic?

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I've been radio silent on social media since my now ex-wife and I announced our split. A few days ago, I was moved to write this and post it on Facebook. Figured I might as well post it here as well.

Folks say it's pretty good.

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It's bad.

Real bad.

So it should come as no surprise that my wife and I are divorcing. We're having to take it slow because she's so close to the end of her degree and I want her to be in a good place to help take care of our boys. We're still co-habitating, still friends.

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Have you all been good this year? If not, you'd better watch out...

Before you dive into the Last Hearth's Warming Horror Story, why not refresh your memory with Scribbler's amazing full cast reads of the first two?

All caught up? Good...

We've darkness to venture through before we reach the safety of the light.

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It's taken years. Multiple plot revisions. The complete scrapping of "Silent Night." More false starts than I'm okay admitting. And, ultimately, it took the collapse of the life as I've known it to drive me into the mindspace necessary to find this lost child in the wilderness and finally bring her home.

I hope the wait has been worth it.

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I've written about adultery a lot, haven't I?

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It's barely twenty pages. It's only for sale at the haunted attraction gift shop and by request online.

But it's amazing because it's the first time I've held something with my name on the cover.