• Member Since 15th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2017

Obselescence


[center]Bye guys[/center]

E

After a fight with Fluttershy, Angel Bunny runs away from home into the Everfree Forest and the pegasus goes in search of him. But what Fluttershy finds waiting for her there is something she could never have expected...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 40 )

Uh oh, am I gonna end up balling if I read this? :twilightoops:

...Oh well!

Beautiful story telling.
I would give you a pony, but I'm not sure which one you want.

What a very interesting story... I enjoyed it very much.:duck:

That was quite cute. Very fitting, and it leaves room for more or to stand on its own. Feature worthy, and I strongly suggest EqD. Maybe a Slice of Life tag on this, but I'm not quite sure. Keep writing!

That was really sad. Well written too. Though I didn't cry. I don't cry over anything anymore. But a job well done and I hope this becomes a featured story, it deserves it.

:fluttershysad:

"Might have been a lamia—they feed off despair, you know." This was really funny the first time through when I read it as llama.

Yes! A non-clop fiction! These are SO much better in my opinion. I will get right on reading it.

Nice to see you branching out into different genres, Butters !

:fluttercry: I always hats to see fluttershy upset.:fluttershbad: and it makes me upset!

BR

Well-written, and I will not provide any more clarity to keep an air of mystery.

Oh, god, I am sooo going to regret this... :fluttercry: But I will read!

It almost brings a tear to my eye.

*snerks* Our cats hate to go outside. When they do go out for a minute or two, they cry if we don't let them back in fast enough!

I just really didn't find this sad. It was just... I don't know, off in several places.

I've also heard the 'if you love something let it go' line so many times. It always annoys me because the ones who said it were always animal rights nuts. So now, whoever says it, the line instantly triggers a flow of bile.

Nice read. I'm left wondering if the voice was Steven Magnet.

I also just realized there's no search icon for him! What the hay?

Hmmm... I have a feeling that I'll feel terrible if I read this *sees 53 likes and no dislikes*
*begins reading*

1030154
Have you read "The Party hasn't Ended" It is by Butterscotchsundae. I cried quite a lot reading it, but I loved it.

1030187
Exactly, it was a llama. They are invisible beings that live in forests in a world filled with magical ponies. They speak to you to make you feel really bad, then feed off of your despair. :rainbowlaugh:

She'll be fine, she'll find a new bunny

And it is going to LOVE HER :flutterrage:

That was quite good! Brought a tear to my eye. I think you did a great job portraying the internal struggle (or external, whichever the case may be).
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

1030295
It's funny you say that because Butterscotch didn't write this.

Beautifully executed. A great story of internal and external conflict with a heartwarming resolution. Thank you for this.

Definitely a favourite. I didn't cry as I would have expected, just a tear in my eye, but my insides are... how would I put it... upside-down ? messed ? and a bit empty. You know, like when you finish a good and touching story that left a mark on you. You feel both kinda happy but kinda sad, weird, empty but full of what you learnt... mixed-up feelings. Which means it was a very well written and executed story, and most of all, deep.

So I finally have enough spare time to start making my way through all the league stories, and wow! If they're all as good as this one then I'm in for a treat :pinkiesmile:

The beginning where Fluttershy enters the forest is wonderfully handled: it's deeply atmospheric, and you really get a sense of both dread and mystery. I'm a complete sucker for stuff like that, and here it's done very well indeed. The disembodied voice as well, that was extremely creepy, and a great touch.

I loved the scene with Steven Magnet -- you nailed his character perfectly -- and in particular loved his message of letting Angel go for the sake of his own happiness. Anyone who suggests that you shouldn't have used that message on the basis that that's what 'animal rights nuts' say is just... well, everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but in this case, frankly, they're just flat-out wrong. It's a very mature message, and it would've been so easy for you to have Angel choose to come home at the end and undermine the entire story, but instead you didn't. It gives Fluttershy a chance for some real character growth, and the ending hits you in just the right way.

I think that if I did have any big criticisms, it would be the way you integrated the memory of Fluttershy's argument -- in theory it was a great idea, especially with it all leading up to the line "Shut up!", but in practice (and this is simply my own opinion) I think you overdid it a bit. When Fluttershy starts getting angry with the voice and starts properly talking to it, the tiny, constant little flashbacks end up becoming distracting more than anything else, and I think they mess up the flow of the story a little bit. Does that make sense? I hope it does, and that I'm not just rambling.

... But again, that's just my own opinion. Thanks very much for writing this story :pinkiehappy:

'Even the sky'

That was genius, perfect placement of the perfect line. Made me think of Firefly, strangely enough.

Yours,

JMH

Quite an ambiguous ending. You don't see this very often here. Kudos to you for making it like this. :twilightsmile:
Also, great emotion buildup and amazing mood settings. But I wouldn't expect anything less of you. :pinkiehappy:

Hmm, yes. It's a very true message, but not relevant to Equestria. While I agree with the sentiment, I can't say the same about the premise.

Scrolling through stories to read, sees Fluttershy picture, *click*, reads description......I don't know if i want to read this without a mop and bucket handy....

A great coming-of-age sort story with fantastic writing and rare ending.
Thank you.

Damn. I think I shed a tear at this.

Very deep indeed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

'...and she finally knew what to do.'

Pulling a knife and fork out of nowhere, she started after where Angel had disappeared into the underbrush.

'Oh Aaaaaangeeeeeel, I have one more thing I need to saaaay to you.' :pinkiecrazy: :yay:

"And she finally knew what to do."

I know it, suicide.

Really nice; I'm glad I found this. I liked the straightforward style -- it came across almost as a children's story at times (and I mean that as a compliment). I do agree with Lucky Dreams that the flashbacks were maybe a little over the top, but all in all I really enjoyed this one.

:pinkiehappy: "Maybe add "slice-of-life" tag? Then again can you slice life, is it like cake maybe have slice of life cake what would that be like sweet or savoury is it like carrot cake or maybe it's a pie like vegetable pie but I prefer cake like carrot cake and chocolate cake and cherry cake and apple cake oooh apple cake is my favourite 'cause Applejack makes them herself and they're like mmm speaking of apples I once tried this really sweet apple it was so good and red and sweet but another time I tried a horrid apple yeah can you believe it right of course not from Applejack's farm she's got the best apples-" (Rainbowdash shoves hoof in her mouth). (intentionally unpunctuated to mimic Pinkie's ramble)

I never really liked angel bunny, but this is still so depressing

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