• Member Since 24th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 24th, 2016

JuyUnseen


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After being brutally rejected by Rainbow Dash once again, Scootaloo is left distraught. that is until a kinder pegasus comes into her life and shows her some compassion.

Picture by Kloudmutt http://kloudmutt.deviantart.com/

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 355 )

Wow. Incomplete? Finish it up. You've got something special here, though it is quite rough.

29889 Incomplete is reffering to the fact that i'm tossing around some ideas on how to continue the story. I dont want to leave it this short :scootangel:

also, i would like to blame the roughness on the fact that i wrote it in an hour :derpytongue2:

and you have no idea what reading 'You've got something special here' meant to me.

After seeing so many pieces of fan art taking pot shots at Scootaloo, I agree she needs some love too. I haven't seen one like this before, replacing Rainbow Dash with Fluttershy, so far I am impressed and I hope to see more, 'casue she needs a happy home. ~Celestia's Paladin

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Lovely work you have here. It is something I definantly haven't seen before and would love to read more of! The errors while noticable didn't take away from the story. Please continue:scootangel:

29918 Thank you, and as for the errors, feel free to point them out to me and i'll fix them on the double, pinkie pie swear.

My only complaint is that this wasnt long enough:unsuresweetie:

29997 there'll be more, don't worry

Interesting, keep writing. I'd like to see Fluttershy berating RD.

30270

That will be interesting to watch... from canon we know never, ever piss off Fluttershy:flutterrage:

This is very good. It's more subtle and emotional then most stories around here, yet still retains similarities to the show.

My only criticism is that you use t-too much stuttering in dialog. I know it's to better show their speech patterns, but It just gets in the way after a while. But other then that, it's really great!

Rainbow's obviously forgotten to get a healthy intake of citrus :pinkiehappy:

You never truly appreciate what you have until it's gone, Rainbow Dash.

This fic is adorable, by the way.

one complaint is the rarity line (Sense we ALL saw rarity and sweetie parents, surprise that rarity dad was magum, though i could still see her taking care of sweetie as her parents seem to be vacation 24/7 type so it still works.

And awesome story thus far (Looks like RD is missing scoot.)

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

32555 Yeah, I was afraid that it would come across as overpowering, the stuttering is my way of getting across the awkwardness and shyness of the characters, but yeah i should probably cut back on that. Thanks for the comment :pinkiehappy:

32559 I lol'd hard :rainbowlaugh:

32607 I'm guessing that they showed up in sisterhooves social right? :twilightblush: i have actually yet to see that episode... i need to but havent gotten around to it...
:raritydespair: dammit canon! Why you change on me!

And suddenly Rainbow Dash realised that she was madly in love with Applejack :ajsmug:
... :rainbowderp: Or not.

32627
Well at least your story (which is great btw) isn't relying on Rarity and Sweetie Belle living together so it's not that big of a fix :raritywink:

Nice. Althought I think now they'll switch roles. Dash will go after Scoots, but Scootaloo will be reluctant to talk to her and will hang out with Fluttershy.

32878:pinkiegasp: that idea! Me gusta! I might just use that!

Interesting, btw heres sisterhooves special sense i read you havn't seen it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy4ouUsm89I

I love this story thus far i also enjoy that pic its actually quite fitting for this story.
and if you don't mind me asking... have you read Cutie Mark Cold Shoulder
by ~DuplexFields (On deviantart) and was inspired by that fic (Cause if not forget i asked.)

33050 no, i havent read that one. Is it any good?
And thanks for the link, when i get a chance to watch it, i will

33207 it actually pretty short (And is one of the rare fics of scootaloo having a biological family. (though it has fluttershy as her sister.)

33265 hmm... i may have to give it a read at some point

great story thus far:twilightsmile: now hurry up and write the rest. please?

Well, it's not the best writing I've come across. But, that hasn't done anything to dampen the emotion this story carries.

Sweet and heart-warming, just one of those slice-of-lifes that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Yay.

So, now Dashie all guilty about her yelling... niiice)) Good to see Scootaloo's focus shifting from dangerous and stupid adventures to dancing, she's good at that. Fluttershy just perfect, quiet, encouraging, supportive and kind. She's much better role model than Fluttershy. Also, I think Scoots finally gets all this 'quiet comfort' and 'listening to the nature' thing.

You know what would be funny? If Dashie's parents wanted her to be dancer long ago, she refused, yelled at them and went to Junior Speedsters camp, and now seeing Scootaloo enjoying herself while graciously dancing around Dash may expirience some angst and understand that parent really wanted her something nice. A little angst and guilt for Dash - for all her arrogance, brash attitude and pridefulness.

34095 GAAHHH!:raritydespair: You keep having good ideas!!!!! I want to use them!!! and probably will :pinkiesmile:

it needs a bit of work in some places but its a very nice story I enjoy reading it keep them coming.

34201

Wow, cool. :rainbowhuh: I dunno how I an having all those ideas, probably because I read a shitload of fanfics (400+) and my head is full of plots and twists.

Fin

I don't cry manly tears often... Oh who am I kidding! There is just something about sad pony storys that just make me start tearing up. and sad foul storys is like 10x worse. :applecry: I'm Tracking this.
-Fin

34530
As long as your head is not full of twist's plot :twistnerd:

34480
Hey, if you're willing to tell me what sort of work it needs i'll be more than happy to make the nessicary fixes

34573
Oh, so my story is not only sad, but you think that it's foul!?!?!? [/sarcasm] :trollestia:
If just this made you tear up then I feel very satasfied with myself, although (unless you enjoy crying(which i enjoy from time to time)) you should probably stay away from better sadfics such as painless or bittersweet.
:rainbowkiss: thanks for the comment

34641
:trollestia: I c wat u did there:trollestia:

Aw, that is kind of cute as I can see Fluttershy doing this. :yay:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great idea like this one. :scootangel:

Hah, continuing to enjoy this.

It's good to see Scoots getting something other than the stick end of the lollipop for a change.

Been looking for a good Scootalove fanfic and this is it!
Very nice work and hope you the best when it comes to future chapters
(so going to track this fanfic :yay:

have to say its a great story i was really getting sick of all the grim dark/extremely sad stories:scootangel::yay::rainbowderp:

Wow, it's not going to be simple, right? When they'll met it wouldn't be the same... and I get a feeling they'll see each other at this talent show...

MOAR! :fluttershbad:

this is great keep up the good work

43488
Glad to hear it fits your wants :twilightsmile:

43530
No, I'm gonna have them meet and everything becomes better instantly and the plothole that creates get ignored.
That was sarcasm by the way

43546
Well... okay, I guess I'll write more :pinkiesmile:

43548
*Salute*
I will, I promise!

Maybe this will have something to do with the g3 scootaloo's cutie mark being a butterfly?

43694 Copycat scootaloo lol

I must say for such a great storyline idea as Fluttershy overseeing Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash realizing how important Scootaloo is in her life, is something else. :yay:

This is truly a great and emotional storyline so far and a great job in showing the mothering skills of Fluttershy. :scootangel:

I have to say I never thought Rainbow Dash would care that much over the little orange filly, but I guess I was wrong. Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one. :rainbowkiss:

Nice, I always thought of Rainbow Dash as a bit insensitive (still second favorite... (Of course we all know Fluttershy is best pony...)) and this seems like something she'd do... P.S. Scoots sleeping in the clubhouse seems to be a common theme... I bet Hasbro is going to introduce her parents just to troll...

Wait 'her gaze softened from one of apology:flutterrage: to one of kindness:fluttershysad:'....is her apology stare like her rage stare then?:rainbowhuh:

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