After the slumber party at Rarity's, the humane 5 are shocked to discover that the pictures that were taken during the slumber party have been posted on Anon-A-Miss's page for the whole school to see. pictures that were taken using Sunset's phone.
Naturally the girls assumed that Sunset was Anon-A-Miss and when she didn't show up at School it further proved her guilt. But when they visited her apartment using the spare key Sunset gave Rainbow Dash in case of an emergency, they discover a very ill Sunset resting on her bed.
Pushing their anger aside to aid their sick friend the girls soon discover that Sunset is not Anon-A-Miss as whoever it is made a post while they were watching Sunset.
Now as they figure out who Anon-A-Miss could be, Sunset's fever continues to get worse and when her body starts flashing red, they realize that whatever Sunset has is beyond their world's ability to treat.
Excellent work dude! Looking forward to the next chapter and can’t wait to see where this goes
9245252
Thank you, KR Chrome deserves credit too.
9245265
Kudos to KR Chrome also
Short description says "when they arriced" instead of "when they arrived".
Other than that, this seems interesting. I think I've only seen one other story where Sunset didn't show up the day the girls were going to confront her, and in that one she somehow turned back into a pony as the reason. I'm wondering where this will go. Maybe Sunset is becoming a draconequis? Maybe it is merely a sickness with chaotic symptoms. Only time will tell.
This will be interesting.
You also misspelled "Rainbooms" in the short description.
Hey, I remember seeing this idea in the forum. Glad that it's joining the group.
9245283
Already fixed.
9245301
It now says "Raimbooms". Sorry.
9245276
Fixed that and you could say that.
I have seen a lot of fics where sunset gets sick and they were never finished please don't let this little gem be one of them. And all and all nice story hope the CMC get whats coming to them nothing to rash but not so lenient as just a few months detention and a slap on the hand.
9245305
I still see "Raimbooms". There is an "m" instead of an "n" for me.
9245308
Really? This is the only one I know of. What others have you seen?
9245304
You don’t need to apologize, thank you for noticing them so I can fix them.
9245313
No prob!
9245308
KR Chrome and I have something special in mind for them. And i’ll try to write this story to completion with KR Chrome’s help.
9245309
Have you tried refreshing the page?
My Sunset is sick!!!
🚨🚨 Don’t worry girl! Dr. TheShadowKnight’s on the way!!!! 🚨🚨
I've more or less sworn off Anon-a-miss fics but I'll give any story a chance that doesn't go the "let's demonize the Rainbooms" route.
9245330
Why does KR Chrome have his own personal hell?
9245312
A few forgot their names I'm sure their some where in the group folders.
9245330
That's great can't wait to see it.
A decent start with an intriguing premise, but it needs some editing TLC, especially in the latter half. Tracking just in case.
Great start!!
So even though they now know she's sick, the three still think it's a good idea to keep going
Plus when it got to the part of scootaloo having famous wonderbolt parents, I was wondering if you you got that from unexpected allies before I check your profile and saw you wrote that story too
You'e the first person I've seen on this site who addresses this plothole. Good job!
9245601
Thanks and I also know a way around that too.
9245605
Remote hacking module? I also noticed another common error in reworked Anon-a-Miss stories is that the CMC get caught out by posting something when the Main 6 are looking at Sunset. Unfortunately, this doesn't take into account that many social media sites have a queuing function, which blows the argument out of the water.
I enjoyed Unexpected Allies, which I also offered help with. Also, I liked the idea and I had ideas. So, I decided to volunteer and offer my own assistance in editing and improving the flow. I will be here to help more. Anyway, since Sunset is sick, her brain won't be working too well, so she wakes up, sees her friends, and does not remember them coming over. Or she remembers it all like some kind of dream. Well, address the queuing function too. Or maybe MyStable lacks the queuing thing you know?
9245385
Yeah. Too many Anon-a-miss stories do that.
You know, it really says something about an official story when even years after theres a near constant stream of hate/fix/parody fics based around it...
I'm glad to see this story finally on the move. Good luck you two.
By the way interesting title choice, how'd you come up with it if you don't mind me asking.
9245811
The original comic isn't even that bad. It's dumb and a bit rushed but nowhere near as terrible as fan-fics would have you believe.
9245827
It was KR Chrome’s idea, originally it was Critical Chaos, but then he suggested Terminal Chaos and that fit this story much better.
Uh-oh, throwing up bubbles? Last time we saw that, ponies were dealing with swamp fever. How the heck did she get swamp fever?
Interesting. Nice intro.
9245911
That's what I said in the forum. According to the writers it's not swamp fever but something just as bad
As all probable thoughts have been said on this already, I'll just say keep up the good work, and you have my interest. One minor thing though, might want to edit your description so that it's not just one big block of text. Really made me nervous going into the story itself, worried that the entire chapter would be like that. Thankfully it wasn't, but I'd suggest to alter your description. Something like this might work.
9245996
Thank you so much, and I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the first chapter.
Interesting premise. Even with it's flaws, i'm really looking forward to more!
So quick question. Is the Rainbooms hypocrisy going to get addressed? I mean they went to Sunset's apartment ready to tar and feather her believing beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was guilty. The only reason their demeanor changed is because they see that she's sick.
Excellent work!
It was well written and with a unique premise. I cannot wait to see where this is going
9246523
Yes it will, especially in the next chapter when they find out that Sunset is not Anon-A-Miss.
9246611
Thank you, it’s thanks to KR Chrome that the writing is good and flows well.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Anon-A-Miss and terminal illness plus Comedy, minus Dark, Drama? Interesting.
Finally! I was looking to read it for too long.
Update it soon, this is getting interesting.
Continuara por favor te lo suplico.
9245428
Sorry, that’s suppose to say help. It’s fixed now.
Wasn't Sunset being exonerated of being Anon-A-Miss due to being incapacitated with something life-threatening the plot of "Critical Condition"?
I'm curious as to what greater role Sunset's illness will have in the story and how it relates to Anon-A-Miss such that warrants inclusion in the story as opposed to any other impediment.