• Member Since 25th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

T

After a long stretch of boredom where nothing goes wrong, things finally explode and Twilight decides it is the perfect day for science. Today, she will make many discoveries, the least of which is that everypony around her is a pervert.

An entry in the Weedverse.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 153 )

Rainbow posed for a dirty magazine?

Actually I can see it.

Did Sumac pilfer moondancers magazine? or startlights?

Well once you get done with Rainbow Dash Twilight. Things won't be complete till you try a thestral and an alicorn..
Also lets not forget Sumac's talent and your test subjects aren't exactly average examples

8775336
There are no thestrals in the Weedverse.

"LET’S GET BUSY, PONIES!" wait no not what i meant go back

8775379
After all the porn admissions, I'd say a lot of busy has already happened.:raritywink:

8775400
The pudge has been pounded. I repeat, the pudge has been pounded. We have confirmation.

“Am I missing my eyebrow?”

God damnit, Adam.

“NO!” Sunburst held out his hoof and turned a pleading stare magnified owlishly by his crooked spectacles upon Twilight. “I don’t want to be listed as a disturber of the peace. I’m a respectable pony with a good reputation! Don’t take that from me!”

“Well, it was!” Now on the defensive, Starlight stood her ground. “I’m too fat to get my hind hooves behind my neck like that and I don’t mind living vicariously. Being friends with Pinkie Pie and Pebble is ruining my figure, Twilight!”

Starlight is begging Twilight, Don't take that from me!

Just have to point this out in case any one missed it!

8775289
Rrainbow has no problem with foals she knows looking at her in a pornographic magazine is actually the shocking part.

8775495
Rainbow is naked all of the time. Stuff is seen. It's not a huge deal.

But the poses can be racy!

What’s the real problem, though?

That everyone around Twilight is a pervert, or that Twilight around everyone is a prude?



... yeah.

8775535
It's all in the presentation. Bit of a difference between "you caught a glance at my marehood, oh well" and "let me spread that wide for you by looping my rear legs back at an impossible angle while lifting my tail, now is that wide enough for you to see all the details well?"

I bet Rainbow Dash would be happy to provide autographs to the issue in question. :trollestia:

Today, she will make many discoveries, the least of which is that everypony around her is a pervert.

This is a discovery? I thought everyone had a little bit of a perverted side and that information was common knowledge.

Twilight was not aware of how terrible her grin was, how manic she appeared, or of the wicked gleam in her eye.
But her companions saw it,and each were terrified in their own special way.

Exciterrified, perhaps?

I want to see what happens when you amplify awesome.

^This. Can hardly wait.

8775340
I may be reading to many fics these days, but I thought the Wardens were Thestrals or batponys. Am I just mixing something up?

8775889
There are no thestrals in the Weedverse. Those belong in Harry Potter.

8775551
When given the option, Twilight is the problem. Everyone would be better off if she would go away and stop polluting the world with her opinions.

8775899
Dammit, after looting around a bit it's true. Stupid HP messing with my mythology knowledge. I get so used to fiction stealing from actual myths that sometimes I don't double check.

Author's Note:

This will be super short.

But why?

This is enough.

I feel for Twilight, being an asexual among a bunch of perverted teenagers is difficult in its own way. Especially when you have work to do and they can't stop themselves from this shit.

“When there is no trouble in Ponyville,” Spike said while his claws squealed against his hard, metallic scales, “it gets really, really boring.”

“Hush, Spike. Boring is good for Ponyville. We need a respite from trouble. No monster invasions, no attacking armies, no—”

8776128
Um... this is not accurate.

“I just want to know why my castle keeps exploding!” Twilight stomped her hoof and glanced at the ponies still recovering from whatever it was that had happened. “Every time it explodes, I see the same faces… if this keeps up, I’m putting all of you on a list—”

I'd be more concerned about why the ponies in it are exploding.

Intrigued, Twilight wanted to know more. “Pebble, what did you discover?”

Explosions forgotten, it's time for science.

Wow, escalating is all the way to testing with Rainbow first thing. We don't do things by halves in the Kingdom of Ponyville.

Reaching out through the aether, Twilight Sparkle prepared her special conjure pony spell…

I feel like there's not a lot of consent involved in this spell.

“Great,” Pebble deadpanned, “now I am ruining the sex-lives of others and not just my parents. I feel accomplished.”

Success!

8776128

If you read further into the Weedverse, especially the stories that occur later down the line, you'll see she is not an asexual. She's just, at this point, not really concentrating on her sexuality and is extremely oblivious to it beyond a scientific professionalism.

“I feel great!” Though he said he felt great, the colt didn’t look well at all, and his face had the most unpleasant greenish tinge. “I went fast! So fast! I—BLARGH—ARGH—GLARGH!”

Such a way with words, that colt has.
Twilight almost becoming a draconequus is interesting as all get out, and the remaining plaid eyelids is probably a sign off something! I bet there's Ink involved...

Well. Sumac+Rainbow Dash = mono-planar warp? Including a predictive/foreknowledge vision for steering as well as massively inflated reaction time and mental processing for movement, because reacting to things as they happen is far too slow for this.

Got to be a way to artificially capitalize on his abilities.

Only a shocker?

This story is not kinky enough. 0/10

8777080
Nobody predicts the vomit! It's chief weapon is that of surprise!

8777044
"What the hell was that?"
8777065

Had to get the quote order right. :twilightblush:

And we shall call this Symbiotic Sumaccing the "Plaid Vomit Comet". Nauseatingly fast!

the ancient and meaningful dance of, In Your Face!

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

And that was only the start ... that was great fun to read :rainbowlaugh:

“It’s weird, Twilight, I can see the futures as they happen. I can see all possible outcomes. Twilight… Twilight… I wish you could see what I’m seeing, I think it would blow your mind. No matter what happens next, you always have been, and will always be my friend. I can’t see that changing.”

Bullshit, I demand shipping!! :flutterrage:

Yeah, haven't read other things in the weedverse so I'm completely lost in romantic pairs if there are any. Still TwiDash for the win.
I also understand jack shit of all references to other stories of it. But Rainbow having magic officially classified as awesome is certainly enough for her to, at least, smooch Twily.

8777063
Never read it and don't plan on doing that, but I guess thanks for pointing out.

“Twilight, my vision is all weird, but I know what I’m seeing somehow. I’m seeing things that don’t exist yet, Twilight, but they are things thatwill be.Don’t ask me how I know. I can see birds in my future flight path, and bugs, and things that might pose a danger.”

We breathe the spice and it clears our mind as it changes our bodies. It shows us where the obstacles will be so that we may steer around them.
We are the Navigators. Without us, there can be no Empire. This is why the spice must flow.
:twilightblush:


Wonder who that other voice is with Twilight and Twilight. I have a few candidates, but very little data to go on.
Impulsive and a tendency towards maniacal laughs. Discord and Sumac come to mind, Dim as a distant third

Rainbow gives Twilight a shocker

whoa, i thought you needed fingers to do that :pinkiegasp:

:derpytongue2:

Wondering what it could possibly be though

So, since no one else has mentioned it, how about that Spock reference?

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