- Member Since 28th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen 26 minutes ago
BioQuillFiction
I write the countless and troublesome story worlds that I see in my mind for you're enjoyment, mostly to just make them stop! GTFO out if my brain and onto the site! *SMACK*
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huh
If I may offer some feedback: your writing is good in a structural standpoint, you have good vocabulary and sentence building. But, when it comes to writing the "action", you go waaaay too fast. You set up the scene well enough, and then rush through the actual play. In a few lines you go from the first thrust, to the pounding, to the climax, to the aftermath, without taking the time to give some details.
After reaching puberty Spike had sensed the disturbing lack of pony/dragon hybrids in Equestria, and upon reaching the only correct conclusion, he decided to take the matter into his own scaly hands (and loins). In only a few weeks a certain princess will be in for a shocking surprise--merely the first in line of the many more mares to cum...
Go get them, boy
You might want to go over the story to get rid of some typos. Also, the actual clop scenes could be a bit more fleshed out.
8531617
8531611
Yeah. Sorry. I am new to writti g clop, so I don't know exactly how to strech it out. I'll figure it out though.
Not a bad story. Not one for rape though. But a good story still.
Not bad, though there are a few grammar and sintax erros here and there.
Sorry, I can't help but point that out
Would be funny if a pregnant Rainbow and Luna sees Spike and be like "YOU DID THIS TO US!!!"
Okay normally I do not read clop, buuut this made me giggle a little bit.
8531624
GOOD HISTORY, I do not usually like clop. but this is a good if the story was anthro certainly would be great but one with the issue of pregnancy not many stories have that. finally I hope the update soon
I also agree with ArmadilloEater you need to give a little more detail at the time of the "action"
her
penises
i like what im reading, continue
Is this anthro?
So Twicunt was railing on Spike about how wrong jerking off is, while she's done that exact same thing herself.
8537666
Parents. Right? XD
Having sex in every chapter.
Add Rape Dragon in the Legends of History.
Let's see where this lead to~
(Droals, Dragonies, Kirins, Ponagons, etc)
Nobody ever does do they, like a snake in the bushes it just comes without warning!
You're including Mrs Cake? Nice, I love a good milf.
If you do too many chapters like the 2nd, might I suggest adding a dark tag?
Partner in crime acquired!
love the list Spoiled Rich doesn't get nearly enough hate fuckes.
He did not add these mares to the list.
celestia
luna
candace
velvet twilight (the mother of twilight)
Fleur Dis Lee
Holy CRAP!!! RUN B***ES RUN!!!
A RUT NOTE!!!!!
Lyra at the end.
Priceless.
that was fast
porn
blackmail
should
is
muzzle
been harder than when
now
Must say, not a fan of the rapey parts, or the crap with Mr. Cake, but this story has caught my eye for... I'll be honest, pregnant Clothes-horse. Out of curiosity, will Rarity be the climactic finale of the story or an earlier success (hopefully multiple successes in one chubby, marshmallow belly)?
Loving it, I loook forward to more! Thumbs up.
This chapter feels incomplete.
8643952
Agree
Can you do one with Spike andStar light glamour and Trixey
Love the story so far I kind of curious how far Twilight is alone
Awww
How sweet.
aww a happy ending how sweet
if
his
there isn't any mention of spike having two rods when he Fuckes miss cake its written like he has one.
I've always loved heat / corruption fics where an otherwise good and noble protag, male or female, fully embraces their darkest desires. If you're really employing a plot device that basically absolves guilt, may as well go balls to the wall. Highlighting the purest qualities of everyone involved made it all the sweeter, especially the Cakes...
It's kind of heartwarming to see perversion on this scale tempering bonds, somewhat, instead of breaking them. Here's hoping Spike's own relationships fare as well in the coming chapters. Also kinda fun that the 'real' Spike seems to be aware on some level and holding a leash... however loosely.
So pretty much he's got ab as a maid he can screw because she feels indebted instead of going to Celestia and telling her the fd up crap some nobles pulling on the apples ..... I'd respect him more if he reported it .... but still kept her as a maid. Well he better get as many girls pregnant as he can because once twilight realizes what he did she's probably gonna neuter him for raping her. Yes roofying a person and screwing them is rape and non con so if she doesn't get back at him by turning him into a her cast a futa spell on herself and get him pregnant by the end of the story as payback I'll be disappointed. I'd see scoots and rd as more a lesbians or bi type of pair maybe spike can take em both at the same time through some plot of the story he does have two willies after all.
Cool chapter, though filled with many errors.
Oh man. No Flutterspike or spikejack baby? Aw man, thats sad. I was waiting to see what you had in mind for them.
I want MOAR!!! pls
I hope for spikebelle soon.
Spike: Oh, boy! Here I go breeding again!
And Spike seduces another filly. He’s not going to have any free time once The Foaling Time begins, considering how many of his girls have full time jobs and careers. Twilight may promote (sentence) Spike to the post of Royal Baby Wrangler, they probably can’t set him on fire, but his gem hoard may never recover from feeding them all.
Non-con isn't really my thing, but pregnancy is. Looking forward to when Spike finally makes Rarity his broodmare. Hope your muse treats you well.
I'm surprised spike didn't say "you and mister cake get along well, don't you"
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Lol XD
solid Chapter, but here you have a writing error
you mean Spike, right?