What's the Story?
“No, Sunset, you don't understand. You have to wear pants.”
A look of confusion lit across the yellowish face that was supposed to be a representation of an actual sunset. It was little wonder that people often got tired of talking to her, nonetheless looking at her. Oh, and that confusion was wiped away, by the way. Ha!
“Whaaaaat? No way!” Sunset couldn't help chuckle as she walked past the bouncer, glancing back at her lavender friend. “You're teasing me, right? Because how I refuse to join your cult of pant-wearing weirdos.”
“I'm not weird!” was Twilight's first response for whatever reason. “And it's not a cult either! Don't you find it suspicious that everyone here is wearing pants expect for you? If anyone's the weirdo, it's you!”
“Hmmmm.” Sunset glanced around as she walked through the lobby of the bar. The people seated at the counter of the bar were wearing pants, the people that walked passed her were also wearing pants, and all the people were looking far down from her eyes were wearing pants.
The realization made her stop in place, her friend stopping just a foot behind. “You are right, Twilight. Everyone here is wearing pants.”
“Finally.” Twilight took a breath relief, her shoulders falling forward. “Now do you see—“ Those same shoulders were suddenly gripped by Sunset as she begun to shake them. Dazed and afraid, she stared into the pinprick that was her friend's pupils.
“How did you manage to do?” Sunset said, half in fear and half in excitement. “Was through the T.V, huh? Or did you secretly save some of that power and use it to brainwash everyone in wearing pants.” A thought then struck. Sunset let go of her friend, took a step back, then pressed her fingers against her chin. “But why would anyone want a nation of people wearing pants? Is it because she's tired of being the only freak, or is there some deeper, so darker agenda at play?”
“For the last time, I am not a freak!” Twilight lunged forward, stabbing her index finger into her friend's chest. But it was okay because she was also a girl, so she could poke her own chest if she wished. “Nor am I brainwashing a nation of people for reasons of politics or tactical espionage.”
“...are you doing it because pants are your fetish?”
“Pants are not my fetish!” Twilight growled, raising her two hands into fists as a way to channel anger. Other people just take deep breaths. “And even if I were to have a fetish, it would most likely involve the other person having their pants off!”
Sunset leaned back, crossing her arms, and raising a single eyebrow—like that one gif from that one thing. “So you're into me now, huh?”
“What? No!” Twilight bit her lip, recoiling back a few steps. “I mean, I wouldn't put it like that. I like you—“ she shook her head “—but not like-like you! Just that I like spending time with you and I'm not quite sure what I feel and—“
“So this is all just one big conspiracy to you, huh?” The tempo of Sunset's voice earned glances from all those present in the lobby, all their faces adorned in surprise at the upcoming scene, before confusion washed over at seeing her bare...legs. “You made all the good people here wear pants so that the women you love would be the only exhibiting your fetish?” Her lips pursed upwards in thought, because lips had sentient consciousness in this universe. “No one has ever gone through such effort to make me their one and only.”
A smile stretched across those same sentient lips, and in a golden flash one might expect to see from a sunset, Sunset enveloped her best-friend turned lover into a hug. “You took the first step towards world domination just to make me yours. Of course I'll return that love; I swear that I'll never wear pants again!”
It was tempting, at that moment, for Twilight to cease her love for reason and focus it instead on the absurdity of her sudden girlfriend. The way how her golden cheeks rubbed against her own, how their hug was perfectly tight, and most tempting of all, how she felt the bareness of the pantless thigh.
“No!” Twilight broke out from the hug, taking a few steps backward. “I refuse to enter a relationship based on a misconception, and I'm also tired of you not wearing any pants!” She straightened up, but remained attracted to girls. “The whole reason why I even took you out was that the girls were sick of it as well! I thought a fancy diner would make you feel out of place, thus proving my point!”
“Out of place, you kiddin'?” Sunset twirled. All background chatter went silent. “Everyone's looking at me in amazement! Just look, some of the guys' mouths are watering, and the girls...are rushing off to the washroom.” Her lips pursed left. “Huh.”
For whatever reason, a surge of jealousy rose in Twilight's chest. Hehe. 'Twilight's chest.'
“That just proves my point even more!” The lavender not mare fired back. “If you truly weren't out of place, then you would be sitting down, eating your food, minding your business, and most important of all, wearing pants!”
“Okay Twilight.” Sunset shifted her weight left, putting a hand on her hip. “So maybe, as it stands, we look a tad out of place. But how can you be sure that wasn't because you had decided to create a scene?”
“It's not because of that at all!” Twilight struck a finger in a random direction, not aware she was pointing at a wall instead of a well-dressed couple. “Look? See! There's a clothing policy to even being allowed to be seated at your table.” She huffed, she puffed, and blew the house down. “And pants are an absolute must according to that.”
“Oh yeah? Then why did the bouncer, someone who works for the establishment, let me in?”
“It's because you weren't wearing pants!”
“Exactly!”
“What? No!” Twilight punched herself in the forehead. “People are not allowed to walk into fancy places, or almost anywhere for that matter, without wearing pants. It's only because you, a cute girl not wearing pants, were allowed in because the bouncer was too dazed to say anything.”
Sunset went silent again. Her fingers touched her chin, and that meant that she was deep in thought. It was a great surprise that management hadn't come, or anyone for that matter to get rid of the two loudmouths distracting all the other guests, but the two were left to their own deceives, either because one of the two women did not have pants, or for the convenience of this flimsy plot.
“...so, there is this unspoken rule about needing to wear pants...” Sunset murmured, earning the other's attention. “...which everyone does out of fear of looking out of place or being disallowed entry into certain places...” Twilight only eagerly nodded with the train of thought. “...but because I am a girl...and a cute one at that...” Twilight squinted. “...I'm always given attention...and allowed to go wherever to please...”
Twilight slapped her forehead and let the hand slide down.
“...so that must mean I'm the exception to the rule!” Sunset exited her thought when her finders left her chin, endorphins coursing from such a brilliant conclusion. “So even if there is a rule, I don't have to wear pants! In fact, it makes an individual—someone that is more important than everyone else!”
Sunset's only response was a lavender hand grabbing her by the wrist, dragging her off from the lobby, and throwing her down onto her seat. For the sake of convenience, pretend the two had an intense conversation somewhere in the line break.
“And what will you have, Ms?”
“Vodka.”
“How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
“Oh, I'm sorry, it's twenty-one to drink here.”
The lavender women sighed—it was just a skin condition. “Alright, forget the drinks and just bring us our food.”
“Will do.” The server took their menus, did a little twirl so that her skirt floated up, then proceeded to walk out from the narrative forever. Twilight didn't focus on that fact, rather, she stared at golden women on the other side of the table—yet another skin condition.
“So as I was saying, Twilight,” Sunset began, putting her one leg over the other. “We are both women of logic so long as it maintains our self-interest. If you can present a good reason as to why I should start wearing pants, I will concede and do just that.”
Twilight's eyes remained squinted on her, leaning forward by an inch, taking something long and slender between her lips, and began to suck. She had never drunk sweet teat before.
“So, whenever you're ready, present your argument, and I'll find a way to debunk it.”
Twilight leaned back, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, reopened the things after the first comma, and began. “Our species has always sought after clothes as a means to cover ourselves.”
“Not always true.” Sunset collapsed her hands together. “Our species are born naked, used to lived naked, and would die naked—or at least, since the caveman days.”
“That was until they discovered what hot and cold was, and constructed clothing to protect their skin from both.” Twilight leaned fully back into the seat of her booth. “And then, when we discovered taste, it became a matter of who could best conceal their nudity.” She picked up some napkins. “The very definition of fashion.” She let napkins fall onto the table. “Boom.”
“Hot and cold are irreverent with air conditioners and global warming,” Sunset retorted. “It's the reason why I was able to walk here and sit down now in no discomfort.” She reached for the same napkins Twilight had dropped. “And besides, nudity is the pure beauty of our kind. Only those who are insecure about it would ever try to cover it up, and convince others to do the same.” She dropped the napkins. “Ka'boooooom.”
“Ur'ggggg.” Twilight sipped angrily on her sweet tea, feeling her teeth rot with every surge of the liquid. “But don't you feel any shame? Boys and girls eyeing you up wherever you go, bouncers mistreating you compared to everyone else? No one besides me has looked up at your face!”
Sunset reached out her hand, caressing the lavender cheek. “Aw, Twilight, I already told you I'm you're one and only.”
“Enough of that!” Twilight swatted away the hoof. “Don't you have any respect for yourself, for who you are, because that's you that I like the most. I mean, I like your body just as much, but others are just going to see what you are, and not who you are.”
'”Meh.”
“Meh!”
“Meh.” Sunset took the other girl's sweet tea and took a sip from the same straw—their first kiss. “I don't really care what people think anymore after the incident, only those who are close enough to be considered my friends. It's not like I can change others minds, so I might as well live the life that gives me the most benefits.”
“Well...that's...”
“You know I'm right.”
That triggered an influx of philological bullshit in Twilight.
“No, you're not!” Twilight explained, jumping out from the booth and pointing the finger at the other girl. “If that were truly your philosophy, your way of life, then you wouldn't be wearing clothes at all! You would rip them off, expose the full beauty of your nudity, and get the utmost benefits of the world with your cute body.”
“You know what, Twilight?” Sunset said. “You're right.” She hopped down from the booth as well. “I'm going to give it my all.” She leaned forward, and kissed Twilight on the lips. “And it's allllll because of you.” She smiled.
Sunset then tore off all her clothes and showed her beauty to the world.
Too bad the world was under the age of 18, and was not allowed to see.
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Might want to slap the Equestria Girls tag on this.
That should be "species".
The grammar and such could use some work, but it's not a bad story or concept by any means. It gave me a good chuckle.
This was... I don't know. Strange and whatnot.
She's also ripped Twilight's clothes and did it with her in public.
Goddamnit B
8507380
I'm falling into absurdity. Please help.
That was...something. Nothing like i imagined.
8507411
Tell jack I say hi
Nothing short of a magnum opus. Well done, you weirdo.
This was stupid, but I still found a good amount of enjoyment from the absurdity. The typos added some flavor to the writing, since they popped up at the most inconvenient times.
An example will be as follows:
Should be sweet tea, but that would only make the paragraph all the more worse. Having it stay as sweet teat makes it significantly more humorous.
Those pant wearing barbarians!
da fuq did i just read?
*Throws the someway palpable fic to the ground, the piece of data fragmenting into bits upon collision with the ground*
ANOTHER!
Just the right bit of randomness to cheer my chaotic day. Thank you for that
8509373
De nada.
THIS IS A RATIONALFIC NOW. >:]
You used women (plural) instead of woman (singular) a couple of times.
8511023
Huh? Oh! Thanks for the save.
you were bored when you wrote thi... weren't you? xD
Sunset was then arrested for public indecency.
i.pinimg.com/736x/c1/ac/c9/c1acc9e1f340b2a3a75f96c48c0b474d--dress-codes-calvin-and-hobbes-comics.jpg