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EntityRelationship


Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Operation: ‘Stalk Twilight and Sunset’s First Date’


Twilight has been studying magic for a long time now, but only in the human world. For their second date, Sunset Shimmer is going to give her a chance to see real Equestrian magic, in person, in Equestria. Can the human Twilight handle transforming into a pony, meeting herself face-to-face, and everything else Equestria has to offer?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 64 )

I'm officially intrigued, amused and wishing to see more

7650169 I'm so glad to hear it :twilightsmile: Thanks for reading, and for faving!

I'd like to see those trips the Shadowbolts made with Discord. Might be a good mini-series.

7650334 ...I now choose to pretend that was my plan all along :twilightsheepish: Thanks for reading/faving! :raritystarry:

“Hi Twilight,” Indigo Zap said, leaning her neck down and flashing a gloating smile. “How’s your date going?”

They're... in Equestria? They travelled to Equestria? They had the BALLS to tail one of the GREATEST Shipping of all time? NO! NOOO! DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT-

A man in the white coat comes to restrain Mallory...

*20 minutes later*

I...apologize for that outrage. It was childish and immature. I just get...a little peeved when I see the awesome shadowbolts tailing...

Across the street, Rarity and Applejack sat in the bushes, watching Twilight and Sunset Shimmer through two pairs of binoculars. “Do you think we should tell ‘em?” Applejack asked.
“No!” Rainbow Dash yelled from the tree she was sitting in above them.

... WHAT?! YOU BASTARDS! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU! ALL OF YOU WILL DIE! YOU'LL GET THE GAS!

The man in the white coat comes back to restrain Mallory

*An hour later*

Ahem. ...KILL MY CHILDHOOD WILL YOU, YOU'LL ALL DIE! YOU WILL ALL DIE-

The man in a white coat comes back and injects a syringe through Mallory's arm.

*7 hours later; Mallory looking much better*

Okay...phew. I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm fine... So, after reading... you know what... I expect to see more of this...

7650366 It's always a good day when you drive a reader insane :rainbowlaugh:

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks so much for the fave! I'll probably expand on the concept in some way, I don't have any specific plans at the moment, though. I hope you continue to enjoy what you see! :twilightsmile:

this story is not finished it needs a chapter 2 of them going to trixie's show and princess celestia sharing photo's of filly sunset with scitwi

Don't you dare end this series here!

Bahaha, when I just started reading this I was preparing to leave a comment saying "you know, since you've established that everyone's okay with casual use of the portal, you have no excuse not to put the Shadowbolts in Equestria". And lo and behold, they are already there. :yay: To be honest, I would've liked to see their first reactions to being ponies. But there's so much potential fun to be had with them in Equestria! :raritystarry: Maybe looking for their alternate selves? Or maybe Sour-Sweet meeting Blossomforth and Indigo meeting Lightning Dust, with both being super weirded out by it :rainbowlaugh:

7651007 That's a pretty good idea...I'd like to do a few more scenes with Sunset and Celestia, and it'd be cute to have her get Sunset all flustered in front of SciFi :twilightsmile: Don't be surprised if I shamelessly steal this idea...Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

7651345 Don't worry, I intend to write more! I don't know if I'll expand on this date in particular, but I do hope to continue the series :pinkiehappy: Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

7651674 Haha, honestly, my early plan for this story didn't include the Shadowbolts. It was going to be my first story that was completely missing them. But...I just couldn't bring myself to do it! I was struggling, thinking, "Well, I don't know if Hasbro is going to revisit them, I might be stepping all over canon here." Buuuuut...it seems like Hasbro doesn't intent to use these characters again for a while at least, so I figured, may as well go for it! I'll probably expand on the idea of them in Equestria, not exactly sure how yet, though. Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

7652501 I can't shake the idea that one of the post-LoE "specials" might feature the shadowbolts. But I figure if they're ever shown again it'll probably negate all fanfics about them anyway, for example by making it as if they've never interacted with the humane 6 post-FG or something like that. So, like, might as well go all out while we still can, right? :rainbowwild:

7652876

One of the official chapter books set inbetween FG and LOF already has Sour Sweet, Sugarcoat, and Sunny Flare befriending the Human 6. So there's a decent chance that if the Shadowbolts return they'd already be on good terms with CHS.

7654415 Riight I keep forgetting that. The one with Twilight's slumber party or something, right? I think even EntityRelationship has brought it up to me in the comments to one of his first stories, and I managed to forget about its existence again.

A careful observer may have noticed that she was deliberately steering the conversation away from the incident Twilight was alluding to

No. Don't ever tell the reader to notice something like this. Let us discover it for ourselves. As it is, this line comes off somewhat patronizing and immersion breaking.

“Huh...is this why you eat so much oatmeal?” Sunset Shimmer blushed.

“Yeah...you can’t really forget your favourites, you know?” Twilight nodded.

These two segments of dialogue are phrased awkwardly. The first sounds like Sunset Shimmer is asking the question while the second sounds like Twilight is admitting she likes oatmeal. I get what you're trying to say here and the dialogue itself is fine, but as it is it is a little confusing.

She claims it was ‘just a hunch’, but...well, some of us have theorized that both versions of Pinkie Pie may...switch, from time to time.”

...

I accept this headcannon.

Across the street, Rarity and Applejack sat in the bushes, watching Twilight and Sunset Shimmer through two pairs of binoculars. “Do you think we should tell ‘em?” Applejack asked.

“No!” Rainbow Dash yelled from the tree she was sitting in above them.

:rainbowlaugh:

I don't know why, but this just seemed so damn funny and a perfect place to end this short story on.

Overall, I really liked this. It was cute and funny, although I wish there was more interaction just between Sunset and Sci-Twi. That being said, you had some awkward phrasing that I already pointed out and a another problem or two here or there, but overall it was quite nice.

7657094 Honestly, the line about Celestia steering the conversation away was more intended to imply that the people in the room who were more familiar with her would notice it (Princess Twilight and Sunset Shimmer, but not SciTwi). It was more meant to speak to her body language than anything, contained enough to make the steering seem casual and unintentional, but a trick she's done enough times that her students would notice it. But yeah, that didn't come off well with this wording. :twilightblush:

Glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

Comment posted by Phoenix Flames deleted Oct 30th, 2016

And a portal in the fabric of the universe that leads to a world of talking ponies, griffons, dragons, and magic? Used to impress a girl on a date.

Yeah forget about seeing how it can benefit human life use it for a date.

she completed a spell originally created by Starswirl the Bearded, and was promoted to-”

“Oh, no, I get that,” Twilight said, then tapped her glasses. “What I meant was, why does SHE have perfect eyesight, but I still need glasses?”

If it's any consolation I bet Sunset thinks you look adorable in them Twi. :raritywink:

7683088 In all fairness to Sunset, there's no reason you can't use the portal to benefit human kind/pony kind and ALSO use it to show off on a date :pinkiehappy: And yes, I think Sunset thinks the glasses are adorable. I know I do :twilightsmile:

Thanks for reading, and for the fave!

“Seriously?” Twilight asked. “I am literally a world away from home. How did you get here?” A realization hit her, and she looked past Indigo Zap to see a group of four ponies sitting at a nearby table. Their bodies may have changed, but they were unmistakable. “How did you ALL get here?” Twilight corrected herself. “The portal here’s in Princess Twilight’s castle! There’s two princesses there, two dragons, and Starlight Glimmer’s there too! How in Equestria did you get...into Equestria?”

Indigo: "Our friendship crosses worlds Twilight! You can't get rid of us that easily."

That purple unicorn who helped us find our way out seemed very nice and mentally stable,” Sour Sweet said.

To be fair, sociopathy doesn't necessarily imply mental instability.

7729098 Yeah, I was more trying to make reference to some other issues that Starlight has, though. To be fair, if your response to not seeing your childhood friend is to form a cult, you may have some other issues to work out :rainbowlaugh:

I personally don't think Starlight has psychopathy, I think she at least appears to be able to feel both regret and empathy, and she's not as socially adept as I'd expect from a true psychopath. I think she's just troubled. But hey, everyone's got different interpretations!

Thanks for reading!

Keep going!!!!!

7731529 Why thank you :twilightsmile: I've actually got another story almost done, just need to finish it up, so that should be along soon.

Thanks for reading!

I've seen a couple "Sci-Twi meets Equestria" (or even just EQG character meets Equestria), and I have to say, this one is by far the best as far as I can remember.
Finally someone pointing out the little details, problems and minor existential crises while still keeping everything lighthearted, realistic and easy to read.

7733991 Thank you so much :twilightsmile: That's so nice of you! I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for faving! :raritystarry:

So the Shadow Bolts from Crystal Prep and the Humane 6 from CHS are both in Equestria stalking Sci-Twi and Sunset while those two are on their date, and I just LOVE that you made it that Princess Celestia is Sunsets adopted mother, I always thought she would adopt Sunset as her daughter, they make a wonderful mother/daughter duo.

Poor Sci-Twi and Sunset; They can't be alone on a date even off their world.

7735670 I'm glad you liked it! :raritystarry: It's subtle, but I think there's a lot in Equestria Girls that alludes to Sunset and Celestia having a mother-daughter relationship, even if only unofficially. Sunset's anger at seemingly being replaced, her running away from home...Celestia's immediate concern for her when Twilight returns, Sunset's hesitance to write her again in Rainbow Rocks...maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it seems to me a lot like a parent and child who had a falling out, and the child's just not ready to come back and face her yet. Anyways, thanks for reading!

7735793 Nope! :twilightsmile: To be fair, I WAS originally going to give them this one...but the thought of having The Shadowbolts show up in Equestria was just too good to pass up :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for reading!

7736048 I had this theory once about Sunset and her being the adopted daughter of Celestia, I've read a few fanfics where she IS the blood daughter of Celestia but then taken to an orphanage to hide her from corrupted nobles and then when she is old enough Celestia would take her in as her student. Now here is my theory about being the adopted daughter, first off Sunset would of course be an orphan in a orphanage in one of the several big cities, Cantorlot, Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Trottingham, Las Pegasus, Baltimare and my personal Fave, Coltcago (The Equestria version of Chicago, my home city). Now with sunset living in an orphanage in one of those cities the orphanage get's a surprise visit from Princess Celestia herself to make sure that the orphanages are up to code and everything, now when she goes out into the yard to watch the colts and fillies playing she spots Sunset shimmer who is playing with her magic and making a fireball just above the tip of her horn, now here is where things are similar to how Twilight and her friends got their cutie marks, deep underground are Leylines filled with Magic, every so often they will unleash a small surge of magic, and this time of a surge is when Sunset is trying to control her magic, the surge push's up through the ground and gets absorbed into Sunset and fills her with so much magic that the fireball becomes a Mini-sun, due to Sunset being only a Unicorn Filly at the time she is unable to handle the power and it nearly goes out of control, but that is when Celestia steps in and takes control of the mini-sun from Sunset and flicks it up into the sky where it merges with her sun, now comes the part on how Sunset get's her cutie mark, it happens after the Mini-sun is merged with Celestia's sun, since it still had Sunset's magic in it she gains her Cutie Mark in Solar Magic, thus making Sunset what I've duped a Solar Unicorn, a type of Unicorn pony that is more linked with the sun.

funniest chapter so far...I legit laughed for 2 minutes when I saw the shadowbolts managed to follow them...and with the help of discord?! brilliant!

7739397 I'm glad I could make you laugh! :pinkiehappy: The Shadowbolts were almost not going to make an appearance here, but I just couldn't resist...:twilightsmile: Thanks for reading!

This is as good as the other story's you have written. Gonna read the sequel

7740651 Thank you so much! :raritystarry: I've already seen your commentary on the sequel, so I won't say, "I hope you like that too", but I'll have you know I was thinking it!

New head cannon alert, sunset is from the human world crossed over to equestria as an infant while parents weren't looking was sent to orphanarium where she spent years learning magic before eventually being adopted by celestia

7750841 That's explain why we haven't run into a "human" Sunset yet! Kind of makes you wonder what the original pony one would be doing, if that's the case!

7750906 probably lives in the ever free having been raised by timber wolves after wondering/ teleporting away from her parents and into the forest

“Discord has been sneaking you guys in and out of Equestria?” Sunset Shimmer asked, pressing her hoofs against her temples. “I’m not sure if he’s going to be a bad influence on you, or if you girls are going to be a bad influence on him. But either way, not good.”

This ... I lost it right here. :rainbowlaugh:


7736048

Nope! :twilightsmile: To be fair, I WAS originally going to give them this one...but the thought of having The Shadowbolts show up in Equestria was just too good to pass up :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for reading!

And I'm really glad that you did. It was hilarious.

7764143 Haha, this is one of the cases where the fact that I've read too much "Basic Instructions" is totally obvious, because the humor of that strip totally seeped into my writing there. I'm glad I could make you laugh! :pinkiehappy:

The worst thing about this story is it's a one-shot. There have been so preciously few "SciTwi's Equestrian Adventures" stories.

7772078 Well, for whatever it's worth, I've got an idea for another story with SciTwi visiting Equestria that I've been meaning to write :pinkiehappy: Thanks for reading!

A little surprised you didn't have Princesses Celestia, Luna, and (maybe) Cadence; observing it all in hiding somewhere (Maybe with Discord).

7833544 Haha, well, you never know! That might have happened. I just thought the funniest thing I could do was to end very suddenly after showing that the CHS crew was spying on them. Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

“Oh, no, I get that,” Twilight said, then tapped her glasses. “What I meant was, why does SHE have perfect eyesight, but I still need glasses?”

The current best guess is that pony Twilight spent more time outside.

This is also born out by the fact that pony Twilight placed 5th in the running of the leaves in a rural town of active Earth Pony farmers and weather peagasi. She's also never had any issues with physically keeping up in any of her adventures. While human Twilight is a scrawny klutz.

So its likely that Princess Celestia insisted on pony Twilight getting regular outdoor physical exercise to improve her body as well as mind. While human Twilight spent all her time indoors in artificial light pouring over books and working in her lab.

7835808 Yeah, something like that is probably a good explanation...though I just find it funnier if there's no earthly explanation for it beyond, "The writers needed an easy way for the audience to tell them apart" :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for reading!

I expected Sunset to give SciTwi a tour of Equestria or teach her magic or something.

Good story nonetheless.

7838552 Thanks! :pinkiehappy: I'm sure both of those would be good stories, but I'm not entirely sure I'm up to tackling a big topic like that. Smaller events are more my style...they're less likely to directly contradict canon, and I think they have more opportunities for humor. Thanks for reading! :raritystarry:

7838588

You do make a solid point. Anyways I loved the fic!

Given how "Human in Equestria" is its own subgenre in this fandom, you'd think more EG humans would find their way there. Glad to see someone balance that out. The adorable fluff is icing on the cake.

Also:

“What I meant was, why does SHE have perfect eyesight, but I still need glasses?”

Would you believe magical laser eye surgery?

7845123 :twilightsmile: Thank you! I like the idea of having Sunset Shimmer (and, by extension, the rest of the Equestria Girls cast) be able to travel in and out of Equestria with relatively little difficulty. I mean, the portal's open now, and in the deleted scenes from "Friendship Games", Sunset Shimmer is seriously considering going back, and Princess Twilight talks about it like it's completely her decision, so it seems like travel to Equestria from the human world is both pretty simple, and that nothing is actually keeping Sunset Shimmer from returning (outstanding warrants, Celestia's disapproval, etcetera). So...I like to imagine she's going back often :twilightsmile: And I think it'd be cool if her friends could visit too...hence this story :twilightsheepish:

Hehe, magical eye surgery could work as an explanation too! I don't know if there's any actual evidence that looking at screens a lot actually damages your eyesight more than just reading, but if so, that could be an explanation too...but I also just like the, "shrug, guess that's the way it is" approach :rainbowlaugh: Besides, I think SciTwi's adorable in glasses, so...yeah :twilightsheepish:

Thanks for reading, and thanks for the fave! :twilightsmile:

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