• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2016
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Princess Twilight Sparkle visits the human world for some much needed rest and relaxation...which she is very unlikely to get when she realizes that this world may be the home of the most dangerous villain she has ever faced. It's not Discord, it's not Tirek...it's data-driven, targeting marketing! Has Twilight Sparkle finally met her match?!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

Ha! Fantastic story, my friend! Good job, and write more, please.

As a business minor who recently went to a seminar about this, I knew I had to read it. Love how you ran with the concept!


I love it! Funny fic!

What if Sci-Twi and Sunset are locked in a closet just to find a private place for the two to make out?

Some of those titles (Alternate Dimensions: The Portal Sitting Right Outside a High School That People Are Taking Surprisingly In Stride) sounds like they could be Japanese light novel series (which get longer and more wordy every year). :rainbowlaugh:

Your version of Legend of Everfree sounds better too- who needs the magic of friendship to fight magic run rampant (again) when you've got fire? :twilightoops: I often like reading about the crazy Shadowbolts. Great little fic, the idea of spam mail reaching even alternate dimensions is scary (and hilarious).

7967873 I'm glad you think so! :pinkiehappy: Thanks for reading! I certainly intend to write more, I've just got a few half-formed ideas in my head right now, rather than one, fully-formed one :rainbowlaugh:

7968276 Hehe, full disclosure, data is my profession, so I'm pulling from some professional experience here. Thanks for reading, and for the fave! :pinkiehappy: I'm glad you enjoyed it!

7968333 Thank you so much! :pinkiehappy: And thank you for the fave/follow! I'm glad you're enjoying my stories! :twilightsmile:

7968359 Haha, interesting idea, but I'm trying to keep the content here more child-friendly, so it's unlikely anyone's going to get too physical in my stories :twilightsheepish: Thanks for reading!

7968557 Haha, I actually hadn't thought of that, but you're right, some of these do sound like light novels or manga series. I'm glad you liked this crazy little re-interpretation of Legend of Everfree :twilightsmile: I honestly had just intended to use it to give a reasonable excuse for SciTwi to not be at the slumber party earlier, so I wouldn't have to juggle her dialogue with Princess Twilight's, but the more I thought about it the more I wondered how a Shadowbolt version of that story would play out...and the answer I came up with was, "badly" :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy: Glad you enjoyed it!

Well, with any luck, Gloriosa can regrow the forest fairly quickly. She may also be interested in Making the Abyss Blink: A Guide to Handling Your Absolute Power Responsibly.

In any case, this was gloriously silly all around. Thank you for it. :twilightsmile:

Friendship with the Shadowbolts is a friendship in which there is no escape.

7969041 Huh, that's...actually a much better resolution to the Prep-Verse's version of Legend of Everfree than I had in mind. Early on, I'd considered having someone mention that the geodes Gloriosa was using got destroyed, probably due to The Shadowbolts doing something insane and/or stupid. I ultimately decided against it and decided to just leave it ambiguous. But it's actually a much nicer ending if she still has them, and can actually recreate Camp Everfree. So yeah, I'm calling that what happened now :pinkiehappy: Thanks for the advice! And thanks for reading/faving! Glad I'm still entertaining you :twilightsmile:

7970479 NO ESCAPE! For whatever it's worth, they really do MEAN well...they're just utterly incompetent at expressing that in a way that isn't destructive. Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

The Shadowbolts burned Camp Everfree to the ground.

On one hand, poor, poor Gloriosa.

On the other... ppppfffFFFFFFFFFHAAAAAHAHAHAHA :rainbowlaugh:

Although, I am mildly disappointed that they didn't end up receiving superpowers as a result of this.

“Oh, wow!” Sweetie Belle said, grabbing a book off of the shelf and reading the title out loud. “The Afflicted Eon! My sister talks about this book all the time! Shame, I think she lost her copy, though…”

I literally squee'd. That was a fantastic little reference. :raritywink:

:rainbowderp::rainbowhuh:..... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Although I'm surprised that until Moondancer started her work there was no spam mail or end-user licences aggrements in EG-World... if she was that good... if she decided to work in predicting crime instead, she would be The Machine! :pinkiegasp:

But honestly, I think that Princess Twilight - after her freakout - would be very interested in the possibilities about Big Data.

Sunset said at the large,


Abscently, Moondancer


The Crusaders exchanged unsure glanced,


Oh this was funny. Just everything about it.
However im confused about the ending. Which five and why are they angry with Twilight for creating the end user license agreement?

I don't understand enough about contracts to know why they are mad at twilight for inventing the end user license agreement

7970707 Hehe, I did feel a little bad for Gloriosa and Timber. If it's any consolation, if you go by FanOfMostEverything's interpretation (which I'm totally calling canon now), she can get the camp back up and running pretty quick with those forest powers of hers. To be honest, the superpowers are part of the reason why I decided not to end up using Legend of Everfree as canon for these stories (besides it totally sinking the SunLight ship...). I, personally, prefer the EG continuity where magic is rare and weird and mysterious to them, and the main characters are, mostly, normal girls.

I'm glad you liked the reference :rainbowlaugh: I'm a big fan of Monochromatic's work, so when the opportunity arose, I just couldn't resist. Thanks for reading!

7970816 Yeah, that was sort of the feeling I was going for. Most of the story is told following Twilight, and her introduction to Big Data is mostly through Sunset Shimmer, who, while she's been there longer, wasn't there for her whole life, so she doesn't really know what's unusual for the human world past that point. So, Sunset's been assuming the spam and junk mail are just a normal part of this world, and not relatively recent developments. My personal interpretation of the EG setting is that it's not just "Earth, but with FiM characters". I prefer to think of it as a separate world that, if a real person ever ended up in, they would find it almost as strange and as alien as Equestria. Sure, it's more relatable to us than the main series, but it's still a world where people seem to find magic to be, at most, an oddity. Thanks for reading, and for the fave! :twilightsmile:

7971119 Hey, fewer typos than I was expecting this time around :rainbowlaugh: I'm glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy: I was afraid the ending might be a little unclear, it's supposed to be the huMane 5. I might revisit that section later and make it a little more clear who's in the room, I just thought it'd be better to get to the punchline more quickly in that case. And the reason they're upset about the end user license agreements is that those agreements are largely considered to be useless at best, and intrusive at worst. Apparently, GameStation actually added a clause in their agreement that gave them an option on user's souls...7,500 people agreed, because no one actually reads those things :rainbowlaugh: Basically, some people think that, because no one reads these agreements, companies feel free to put in whatever language they want, making the actual agreement very lopsided. But more to the point, Twilight THOUGHT she was solving a problem here (too much spam, targeted advertising and junk mail) and thought that she had a reasonable solution (make sure you're opting into these services), but ended up just adding another layer of bureaucracy that, like spam, isn't too intrusive on its own, but taken in the aggregate is very annoying. Thanks for reading, and for the fave! :twilightsmile:

7971342 The long and short of it is that end user license agreements are generally not read, and have gained a reputation for having language in them that's incredibly lopsided against the customer, possibly allowing the sellers to revoke the software at a moment's notice, that sort of thing. But, the more salient point was that Twilight thought she was solving the problem, but just ended up adding another, small annoyance to everyone's lives (having to deal with these license agreements every time you want to download software). Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

Pretty funny! Not much to say here, other than I really didn't see Moondancer coming, I was ready to suspect Discord or something.

7974372 NODOBY expects Moondancer! Her main weapon is books, data and books...

Glad you found it funny! :twilightsmile: I went back and forth about who I'd actually use for "Big Data" at the end. Ultimately, I went with Moondancer because she seemed like the one who could make book suggestions for Twilight that would actually make sense. Thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

7974785 It also initially works thanks to one of the interpretation the fandom has of her, which is having a bit of an obsession with Twilight. Would be a fun alternative plotline if Twilight was the first and only person this algorithm has ever worked correctly forth, because of that. :rainbowlaugh:

7975008 Haha, that could have worked, too! It could also explain why Twilight was getting targeted with so much spam. This line never made it into the final product just because I couldn't find a good way to work it in, but I'd originally planned on having Moondancer explain that she sent Twilight all those flyers about hiding your digital footprint sort of as an apology-she could tell that what Twilight really wanted was not to be targeted by data analytics, and tried to make the best suggestion she could...which only ended up making the whole situation worse :rainbowlaugh:

I love how you just turned what is really a common everyday thing (spam, junk mail) into a concept for comedic storytelling aimed at a general audience.

7977499 I'm glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile: I've always liked the idea of MLP characters finding stuff that's normal to us completely alien and strange. Thanks for the fave!

oh god how did i miss this i just now found out im so sorry i try to read your stuff day one and im over a month late im really sorry

to make it up to you i shall threaten you extra hard

if you dont make a new story soon i will send you to discord and tell him you want to watch his vacation slides

8058547 Glad you're still reading! :twilightsmile: Hehe, I'm working on another piece, just been caught up in other things recently. I'm totally coming back to it, though! Don't worry!

Thanks for reading! :pinkiehappy:

Darth Vader no, lol great job!

8079478 Thank you, and thanks for faving! :twilightsmile:

Everfree WOULD have been good if it wasn't for gay sapling, i mean Timber Spruce. This was fun though. Less shipping then i wanted but fun nonetheless.

Oh, Twilight, wait until you learn of what National Security Agency can do... :trollestia:

Any chance of you writing a sequel to the story where Princess Twilight learns about Snowden and his whistleblowing of PRISM, XKeyscore and other stuff?

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Bravo, sir, and may many years of witty writing be ahead of you.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for faving, and for watching! :pinkiehappy:

Funnily enough, this story reminded me of this song:

Guess who it's by?
(And pay attention to the lyrics)

“‘Big Data’!” Twilight said. “Who is that? Some kind of evil sorcerer? A spy?!”

sure, feels like it sometimes.

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