• Member Since 14th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Lil Penpusher


"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

T

Tempest Shadow’s mission was a success. At long last, princess Twilight Sparkle had been caught. Oh how powerless she was, trapped in that little cage.

But something was... off. Sparkle was alone when Tempest found her. She was crying rivers and sobbing loudly. Where had her brave, valued friends gone? Could it be? No. No, it can’t be.

Have the princess’ friends abandoned her?

Has friendship failed the Princess of Friendship herself?


Consider leaving a like if you enjoyed this story, perhaps even a comment. Comments are nice ^-^

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 29 )

I liked it a lot. You got Tempest's character down.

This was deep! It was so sad what happened to her. Well done.
Just so you know, I already knew about what happened to Tempest Shadow. She was seduced by the dark side. She ceased to be Fizzlepop Berrytwist and became Tempest Shadow. (Star Wars reference) In a way, if you think about it, her old former friends were entirely to blame for Fizzlepop Berrytwist becoming the evil Tempest Shadow, and the near destruction of Equestria.

This story was very good. Once again, Well done. :twilightsmile::raritywink:

8468634
Thanks! I couldn’t help but write yet another story about Tempest. As my avatar suggests, she’s one of my new favourites :twilightblush:

8468639
There's nothing wrong with that. I love Tempest Shadow too, even though I haven't seen the movie yet, and only read up about her. To me, she's like the Darth Vader of MLP.

In fact, I wrote 2 stories involving Tempest Shadow myself, but they are crossed-over with Star Wars.
1. There Is Still Good In Her
2. I Will Not Fail

You're more than welcome to check them out, if you'd like. One Tempest Shadow fan, to another. :raritywink:

8468882
I might! Though... it’s already 1:30 pm, so I’d much rather get some rest, instead. For now, at least :twilightsheepish:

8468884
Awesome! :pinkiehappy: I hope you enjoy them.

If I could rate 5 stars, I would give this 6.

Good job my man. :ajsmug:

I do like how you expanded on the scene, maybe improved it a little.

8469693
Honestly, if it weren't for the song (which is awesome in itself), I figure this could have really happened.

If it weren't for the music number, I would guess that this is how the scene would've gone. But that wouldn't have saved Tempest from the most ridiculous name on history

8472821
Which shall never be spoken aloud ever again.


I double dare you.

8472828
Which I won't, but you can't deny it sounds like a soda flavor

8472852
That... is too true, unfortunately. :ajsleepy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Hey, I actually read this.

And it's like... This is just sort of exactly what happens in the movie, only with no singing. <.< So, didn't really leave any impression on me.

8474217
Not exactly, but still, I do get your point.

But hey, I’ve only just now finished writing yet another story about Tempest, sooo...

Feel free to check that out, I suppose :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8474232
Actually, the one you wrote before this sounds really good, so I might check that out. :O

This was AWESOME! I enjoyed the read! Poor Twilight. Looks like Friendship ISN'T as magical as she thought!

Anyway, I'd love to see more!

8475587
Well, I already have 2 other drama stories about Tempest published, so you can feel free to check those out, if you wanna :twilightsmile:

I was thinking of doing a oneshot like this where Tempest describes what happened as if the song didn't have that flashback. It's too similar to what I was going to do, actually.

i think it's flawed, Twilight's friends didn;t abandoned hr, she drove them away.

She the oen who failed at Friendship, because she didn; trust ehr friends she showed whata failure she was.

Tempest is like a picture of what Sunset could have become after the anon-a-miss incident

This must be an alternative scene where Tempest didn't sing.

Or imagine this, since this isn't the first time Twilight's friends abandoned her. *Ahem* A Canterlot Wedding. In fact, this could probably what would happen to Twilight if she never found the real Cadance or became an Alicorn.

But I will tell you this, the fallout is better than what A Canterlot Wedding did.

You know, this is actually better than what we got in the movie. Don't get me wrong, the song is great and all, but I think that this sells Tempest's hurt a lot more.

8700417
Thanks! I do agree with you that, though I did and still do enjoy the song, it gave us only a very short glance at Tempest's past and the pain it brought with it. Then again, this whole story's goal was to improve upon the scene and replace the song so... mission accomplished, I say! :twilightsmile:

8700544
Your welcome!

By the way, as long as you're doing this kind of thing, you should try rewriting the attack on Canterlot. You know, have it so the Royal Guard is actually
useful for once, and have the other Princesses actually put up a decent fight.

8700693
Not a bad idea, though Im currently busy with a whole lot of real life struggles, mostly school work, so Im already lacking when it comes to writing new stuff on here.

Maybe at a later point, though :twilightblush:

*Alondro yawns* Since the movie writers forgot the rest of the show canon when they shoved this plothole ridden mess onto the silver screen, allow me to fix the problem.

Suddenly, the other 5 showed up. "We didn't abandon her, ya danged broken horn-head," smirked AJ.

"Like, DUHHHHH," Dash rolled her eyes as she hovered lazily. "Element of LOYALTY, here!"

Pinkie bounced in place, as usual, "We were just thinking, "Heyyyy, where are all our NEW friends! Like, the REALLY strong ones we've made in the past 6 seasons!"

"Abandoning a dear friend in a time of trouble is the sort of utterly uncouth thing I'd expect of someone as garish as yourself," sniffed Rarity.

Fluttershy then drifted in and landed demurely, "Oh, hi everypony. He agreed to come too."

"When I heard some annoying wanna-be was trying to take over MY playground," slithered in the voice of Discord. "How could I refuse the call to demonstrate just how serious a mistake they'd made?"

And behind Discord stood a vast army of Skittles Bugs, griffons, and Dragons. It was then Tempest knew how thoroughly bucked her OP OC plot truly was.

:trollestia:

8475587 Yeah, because a single villain monologue is ALWAYS to be believed.

Especially a violent invader. Totally trustworthy.

Sheesh, people fold so easily these days. Makes my job easier, though! :trixieshiftright:

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