• Member Since 14th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Lil Penpusher

Put the Words in the Bag and nopony gets hurt



It has been many years since the war started...

Chrysalis and her armies rolled over our defenses, overwhelming our forces with sheer numbers. We fought a fighting retreat, always on the run from the swarm. We thought it would be over, that this would be the end of Equestria, and the end of Harmony...

But it was not so. We gathered our strength and held our ground, at last. Desperately our soldiers fought on and held the swarm off. Ponies took up arms to bolster our ranks or grabbed a tool to aid the war industry.

And now, after all these years, we remain in a stalemate. The Changelings adopted their own variant of total warfare. They launch raids on defensive positions at night, send bomber squadrons to destroy civilian centers all across Equestria and sink civilian cruisers out on the sea.

The war drags on, and my ponies grow tired of grieving the loss of their homes and loved ones. It is time for Equestria to commit to this war and leave behind our outdated principles of pacifism and harmony.

This war has brought upon us a new age. And with it, a new Equestria must rise!

This story takes place in the 'Equestria at War' universe. Further knowledge of this universe is not required, but it's good to know. Link to the official EaW group can be found here.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 32 )

I don't know anything about the mod, but this reads like a 'Nightmare Moon wins' story, but with Celestia going evil instead.

Which is, of course, fair criticism. The main difference is that Luna turned evil because her subjects gave her too little attention and admiration in contrast to her sister, while, in this universe, Celestia slowly succumbs to her evil self in an effort to save Equestria and its ponies from the horrors of war.

I do get your point, though. Cheers!

Which I assume is a good thing!

Unless you're talking about episode 7 and 8...

Hmm I have to wonder about twilight, if her beloved mentor and Equestrian are going all evil empire, that is going to be extremely rough on her, not to mention how the eternal sun thing will wreak havoc on crops.

Not to say I don't believe Twilight incapable of stopping Daybreaker fighting her even if she is later cleansed and worse banishing or worse having to slay her would likely take a massive toll on twilight mentally given how central Celesta was to her life.

Well, as I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, I was thinking about adding an additional chapter to the story if it is well received. That extra chapter would, in fact, focus on Daybreaker and Twilight.


Now there will a civil war that will keep the fighting going even longer as many ponies will not want bend there knees to another tyrant and others will want to rule themselfs now while some just want to just be free, many of them did not win a war to suddenly find out all the freedoms they once enjoyed are to be taken away and not allowed any more.

Note I'm not asking you to write if for the aftermath but if you do just do a brief story not super long and all that just enough detail.

The end of the last chapter actually hinted towards most Equestrians accepting Daybreaker's rule, at least for the time being.Daybreaker's motives, as such, are not to rob ponies of their freedom and liberties, but simply to lead her nation to victory in a war that had already cost many ponies' lives.

Of course, there will be resistance to this, but nothing like a civil war. The greatest resistance Daybreaker would face are the Elements of Harmony, though the extra chapter which I may add to the story would go into that...

I liked this story. I liked it tons.

Love the mod though i think more land (and nations so im aware it would take time) will make it even better.

This story is a interesting one, daybreaker is probably what Equestria needs, but that certainly doesnt mean shes the best option for the long run.

Still, wonder how Twilight would react, from my view of her and her pro- celestia bias she would probably deny any wrongdoings on Celestia/Daybreakers part and Daybreaker seems smart enough to use that to her advantage.

Well, we're working on adding a new continent to the mod in the near future. Stay tuned! :ajsmug:


Pretty neat story - I would love to see that extra chapter.

Also, hope you are going to write a sequel with Daybreaker crushing Chrysalis :raritystarry: (or learning that it was actually the queen’s idea to force Celestia to become Daybreaker, with some nice plot-twist in the end).

You murdered Luna! You monster! :raritydespair:

But this was a fun story. :twilightsmile:

Oh, it was fun because I murdered her :ajsmug:

Nah, but for real, thanks lad! Glad you enjoyed :pinkiecrazy:

chrysalis aint going to be defeated anytime soon, sol-loving butt >:(((

jk i love this story cheers

We'll see about that, hah! :rainbowdetermined2:

God emperor Celestia

*breathes in and out deeply*

Well...while this fic is short, it still demonstrates a crucial truth: war changes people, many times for the worst. And in total war, the freedoms and values the soldiers fight for become lost into obscurity. The military and civilian then become pawns, sent into the bloody meat grinder, in order to protect their masters...

there's a reason why it's been argued that war should be avoided as much as possible, because when a nation gets involved, especially when the war drags on....freedom eventually dies.

A well written fiction!

I have always been interested in the balance of what drives the decision makers within wars, and how they cope with the losses that they experience. Does it harden the generous, or vice versa? So seeing one perspective of that is particularly interesting.

A few problems with tone/mood shift, more particularly at the first chapter, at least for me it throws off direction a bit. Dialogue is simple and handled well, and the story develops at good pace.

Looking forward to the next few parts.

This is great. The story is already in motion, from the war introduction, to Celestia's characterization, to the mystery of the voice. Great job!

I love how this takes a toll on her and we see how it impacts her, from her perspective. This is some fine quality gourmet stuff you've got here.

Now this is an Avengers level threat.

Wow, real emotion. You are great at wielding it in your words. I've read a lot of promising fanfics that fall flat on character and emotion, but this... Astounding. My respect.

Thanks a ton! Really! Your Comments mean a lot and are great encouragement to keep doing what I do. :pinkiehappy:

Do make sure to check out the Sequel to this and, if you liked THAT one, the third and final part to this Trilogy which I coincidentally happen to have uploaded just an hour or so ago :ajsmug:

I haven't read a fanfic this good in a long time. For far too long, I've seen nothing but Anon stories, 2k-long comedy fics, and clopfics. The long, grandiose, wartime stories are the stuff I yearn for.

I'm just gonna pretend like I did not write a dozen of 2k Comedy Stories :twilightsheepish:

No, no, you're the exception here. You have a few good fics out. And you're not alone. I wrote, like, ten ASMR-type shipfics with different ponies, in addition to my main epic longfics.

While I do enjoy Comedy, nothing's better than good drama, really. If one pulls it off the right way it's really fullfilling, both to write and read. At least that's my own taste, and tastes differ. :twilightsmile:

So which branch of the focus tree are we going down? Looking like...left?

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