• Member Since 22nd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 43 minutes ago

White Comet

Just a guy who loves cars, boats, planes, and basically anything with an engine. Oh, and I write stories about pastel-coloured horses and stuff.


The following story takes place in the Equestria at War universe.

For some, the memory of the Great War against the Changelings was just that; a distant memory. But nopony can deny that, despite a victory, the repurcussions that followed have resulted in a dark time in the worlds history. God-Empress Daybreaker now rules across the Equestrian continent with an iron hoof, and has ruled uncontested for over two decades.

Even her protégé, Sunrise Sparkle, is starting to doubt her superiors' decisions. But given that nopony ever questions the God-Empress and lives to tell the tale, she simply kept her thoughts to herself. That is until a certain thought to be dead Princess of the Night visits her in a dream...

Cover art by Neither
Full size here

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 60 )

Alright, I'm invested.

You have my attention

I'm hooked! This seems like the Solar Empire fic that this universe needs right now.

Also, might not seem like a big deal, but don't forget to put a space between your three dots and the next word. Otherwise, it'll only be counted as one word instead of two.

Glad you liked it!

...I never even noticed that. Huh. TIL :twilightsmile:

Yeah, I doubt that I'd be all that keen on having anything to do with Luna in these circumstances either. Someone willing to torture you will rarely if ever have your best interests as a significant part of whatever plan they're working on.

Given the way the Solar Empire's ruled with an iron hoof the last few years, I think it's only fair Sunrise gets a taste of her own medicine :raritywink:

Sunrise did her best to withhold a groan, but a little still escaped her lips. “But I am not Twilight,” She insisted as if she had stated this fact a million times before. Knowing that it seemed to be falling on death ears, she almost felt like she was wasting her time saying it.

I think you mean deaf ears.

Oh, I'm not saying there aren't reasons for Luna to be willing to do what she's doing. I'm also not saying that those reasons make her choice right.

I'm also not saying Sunrise hasn't done terrible things, though depending on what one believes regarding her "creation" it may not be entirely her own fault. I don't recall whether you've given us enough information to know whether Twilight becoming Sunrise was her own choice or not in your history. Given that she only felt the slightest twinge of recognition towards the other Bearers, I think it's safe to say there was at least a little mind control going on, but you haven't said.

All I'm really getting at is that I understand, and heck agree wih, her not wanting to jump into whatever Luna wants. Luna has clearly shown she is willing to go quite a long ways to get what she wants. And what she wants, from Sunrise's viewpoint, ends pretty inevitably, even if everything goes perfectly, with the end of her existence as a distinct being.

I read the actual scene that appears in EAW several times, and... Well, without revealing too many spoilers, let's just say I found it very open to interpretation.

Now that's an interesting story. Coupled with Equestria at War too. You've got my interest with those 3 chapters. Hopefully it won't be wasted by an abandoned story like more than half of what I read.

Still, I really like the premise and how it's written so I guess it all boils down to what I just said about fearing that it won't be completed and left abandoned at some point, so here's me hoping that it doesn't.

Reading through her thoughts of eliminating possibilities makes me uniquely frustrated as it seems like she just skipped over the best hiding spot of all.

Is the Map blank when it reaches the borders of Arcturia?

Don't get me wrong I love this story but it feels like either she is missing something obvious or we the reader have information she isn't aware of.

Arcturia has to exist as no matter what Rosa and the dread league can't exist by this point.
as a Griffin Kingdom with unique old ties to the Griffin Monarchy and a
50% of a decent leader who would respect the young prince
50% of the goodest good boy leader who would happily accept giving asylum
Remote distant but with one of the most elite and dedicated armed forces on the continent. And a magical artifact that removes dark corruptive magic. It seems like such a better hiding spot. But what do I know. This isnt my story. And I am totally invested in what you do next.

Thanks for your interest, I'm glad you're enjoying it! :twilightsmile:

I don't intend to abandon this anytime soon. Trust me, we've still got a lot to write. :raritywink:

I've been staring at this for a while now, and honestly, I can't think of a response without revealing spoilers. But you're right, Arcturia does indeed exist.
If you're curious, here's a (rough) sample of the map I'm working with. (Ignore the weird borders around Arcturia. I tried to edit a save game using console commands to make this screenshot, and the AI didn't want to play ball it seems...)

I'll assume the Arcturian Kingdom has it's normal borders. Okay well that makes things interesting and I'm glad to have a map at all. Thank you for answering my questions unspoilery.
I eagerly await the continuation!

I believe IV in Roman numerals is the fourth. VI is the sixth.

Oops :twilightoops:
Thanks for pointing that out, I just updated it :twilightblush:

The Grover VI death if you go Ferdinand is set in stone in base EaW. Wonder where this is going now that it seems to have taken some artistic liberty with it.

Hey, I got an idea for a possible ally for Sunrise and Luna.

What about Thorax and Velvet. I imagine changelings and deer exist in this world. Perhaps these two end up having a child, my headcanon is that reformed changelings in eaw are cross breeds of changelings and deer, it is entirely up to you but I think this would be interesting and could also be a way to draw sunrise into this part of Equus if there is a rising Olenian Changeling resistance.

Hello, ‘Coment’ is it?

I have just finished reading your magnificent story and I can’t help but ask the obvious question...

Are you ever going to finish this story?

I ask because:
1: I’m sad to say this is the only type of ‘this’ story on FIMFiction (a Sunrise Sparkle story)
2: It’s been a far but since you’ve updated and as an experienced FIMFiction reader that usually means a story’s dead... but hopefully that’s not the case!
3: This is straight up, one of the best ‘Equestria at War’ stories out there. Characterisation is great and (due to the setting and time) you are doing something I really wish EAW would do more of, Twilight Sparkle.

Throughout the mod you don’t really ‘see’ much of the purple pony princess outside of a really underused role in the ‘Solar Empire’, depression for the ‘Cristal Empire’, super duper depression on steroids for the ‘Changeling Lands’, and an altogether unimportant role for the ‘Equestrian Liberation Front’ (unimportant considering who she is at least).

Seriously in the EAW universe she kinda just crawls into a ball and crys’s in most of the negative scenarios ( and ow that I think about it she really doesn’t do much even if you take the ‘Harmony’ route for ‘Equestria’.
It’s an issue you have fixed with this (in all honesty) very enjoyable story (seriously I’ve only noticed a few errors, mainly stuff like ‘her’ insted of ‘he’, minor things really), it really does make you think about how ‘’’’’Twilight’’’’’ would handle the situation she has been placed in as the ‘leader’ of the Crystal Empire.

Any-hoo, I really do hope that you finish this wonderful story, it’s been a delightful read so far and I’m interested in where your going to go after this, I’m hoping for Discord (real quick, what the F### was Discord doing all this time! You would think he would have played are major role during the conflict but no, it’s like he vanished of the face of Equis, lord of chaos my flank) and the Tree of Harmony working together to restore Friendship but that might be hoping for to much.

Interesting idea but here’s a better one...


It would be unique, new, interesting, and poetic as hell.

‘A former villain now must reform an old friend turned solar tyrant, the lord of chaos and disharmony must now show the grand inquisitor what true friendship really is. Can the mischievous spirit rekindle the ‘spark’ in the face of Equestria’s twilight, or will the fire of friendship be extinguished, consumed by Daybreaker’s unending and unyielding flames of cruelty...’

I mean, Discord preaching love and friendship now THAT would be an interesting alliance, especially because ‘Sunrise’ wouldn’t really know who he is (if her memory of him is blocked off like the rest of main 6 that is) which could lead to some really interesting lines, dialogue, tension, and dynamic between the two characters. That would be fun to read, and fun to write.

Hey there! Thanks for your comment and kind words! :twilightsmile:

I assure you this story is not dead. In fact, I'm working on the latest chapter right now. I just took some time off to work on a story for the Equestria At War writing competiton. The current scene I'm working on is just a bit of a headache to write at the moment because... Well, you'll see :raritywink:

Stay tuned! Next chapter will be up soon!

:rainbowderp: Ooo...
I can't wait! :twilightsmile:

*Attempts to overanalyse authors comment*

Do I See Cordinal Overlords Righting Destiny?

If not then... ok :pinkiesmile: (dies a little), I'm really happy with the story so far, and I highly doubt that you'll make the same horrible mistakes other authors have made (like in 'It's Complicated' :pinkiesick:, over 1 million words in and what are you rewarded with? The biggest let down on FIMFiction :twilightangry2:)
But, so far you have the quality of the 'newer' writers that are coming to the site.

You've gotten my attention...
You've captured my imagination...
Now all you have to do is keep them.

P.S. Where you from? I'm from... well... take a hint...
Mate. :raritywink:

Oh man. I wanna like this. I really wanna like this. But man you're kinda killing me with some of this dialogue. Busy right now but I'll try and make time to be more specific in a bit.

just discovered this after playing to much EaW HOI4. and damn. this is good. no joke after reading this (binge reading all in 1 day......i think i missed lunch....and dinner...also i was REALLY sleepy the next day), i tried to recreate the world they made here. (but freaking river federation kept messing around)

looking forward to more. cause damn is this good.

I'm glad you like it! :twilightsmile:
I'm about to have plenty more free time in the coming days, so hopefully an update soon! :rainbowdetermined2:

Damn, okay, that's a hell of a start. You've got my attention.

I really wanted to see the nightmare, oh well. Loving this regardless.

Luna does a little trolling This is getting really damn interesting.

Using her magic, Daybreaker entered the throne room. She could almost feel the temperature radiating out of the room. Mostly from the pyrotechnic features leading up to Daybreakers throne. Pillars of flame rising up to the ceiling laid in a perfect row leading up to the throne. The ambient crackling of the fire was all Sunrise could otherwise hear. She trotted gently but assertively across the orange carpet leading up to the throne. She could see Daybreaker sitting atop her throne, eyes down in some paperwork. Her regalia matched very similarly to Sunrise’s. It was a deep orange all over from the shoes she was wearing on her hooves up to her chest piece, that extended along her back to encompass the top of her wings. Her crown not only encircled the top of her head but also wrapped around her ears with the centre-piece being a bright red ruby.

Daybreaker entered the throne room

Do you mean Sunrise? That scene in the middle definitely is riding the line between what I am and am not comfortable with but as long as there's not too many of those and it doesn't go too far it's fine. I'm still really enjoying this.

Thank god I don't need to wait for the next chapter.

And I'm out of chapters to read, damn it. I don't know how much longer you plan on making this fic but my god I hope you don't abandon it. I'm loving it so far. Hope you continue soon, but based on your comment, that is the plan.

So there are bits of horny in this story I think you should add #sex to be safe

The tags are meant to represent the overall theme of the story. Although there are moments, and I may or may not be exploring certain characters and their relationships for worldbuilding/storytelling purposes, this is more of a subplot. If I wanted to write a romance story, I would've tagged it as romance. :raritywink:

well that was an end to a chapter. good chapter with some amusing moments.

but also that open ended "what happened" to the crystal royals.....oh boy....what is she...not saying...

I'm glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:
Yeah, Sunrise better make up her mind quickly on how she wants to answer those questions... or Twilight might find an answer herself...

twilight as well xD that dream~

honestly i'm kinda worried, both of them are enjoyable characters. don't want one to die but theres only one body

kinda makes me curious what Sunrise's plan is....and if it involves body stealing xD

Their dynamic is tough to write as they have this complicated love/hate relationship going on, since they're both working towards the same goal but ultimately, one of them is going to have to stab the other in the back in the end... (unless they find another way of course... :duck:)

I'm glad they're fun to read, as we'll obviously be spending a lot of time with them throughout the course of the story. :twilightsmile:

You’ve been extremely uncooperative the entire time I’ve known you.

... I mean. She opened their working relationship with "I intend to kill you, and that's the ultimate goal of the things I'm making you do." What in the world was Luna possibly expecting here?

So. Hmm. Thoughts.

I'm having some trouble settling on how I feel about the Twilight/Sunrise situation. Firstly, broadly, there's the issue that Luna and Twilight are fairly cavalier about the fact that their plans end with... well, with Sunrise being murdered. I mean, call it what you will, but they're still planning on deliberately making her die -- they're not even pretending otherwise, and the best-case scenario Twilight's come up with so far is that Sunrise “will be ready to make that sacrifice” of her own volition instead of needing to be forcefully put down. I mean, small wonder that Sunrise neither trusts nor likes them!

There's also the issue of whose body that rightfully is. Twilight isn't wrong in saying it's hers, but if you're arguing that the body is hers because she was born in it and has never had another one... well, same goes for Sunrise.

However, I'm also not entirely sure how much I buy that Sunrise and Twilight are wholly separate people like they're both assuming they are. Putting aside my preexisting issues with the idea of Nightmare Moon being a parasite that took over Luna's body, the story so far mostly presented Sunrise's creation and installment as Daybreaker locking away the bulk of Twilight's memories and stunting some of her emotions -- and by that logic, Sunrise is Twilight, just with a very selective case of amnesia and a couple decades' worth of extra memories. That is to say, rather than being two people fighting for a body, it seems to me Twilight's essentially suffering from a severe case of split personality and "Twilight" and "Sunrise" are just what the two halves that her ego split into call themselves.

On that note, however, I also find it interesting that there's so much memory bleed going on between them, especially in this chapter. As things stand, my suspicion is that, instead of one personality ousting and killing the other, this situation may be resolved by Twilight and Sunrise just sort of... reintegrating into a single personality.

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

I wonder if the Republicans in Griffonia would prefer Grover VI over Dawnclaw, considering their history with the Imperials. I guess they have to if they want to be free of Dawnclaw's grip. But Grover's a good fella. Well, idk what Sunglider & Verany would think of siding with Grover VI since they have extremely poor view of Royalty. Maybe Gaspwingi and Gaudreau, that is if they weren't executed. I don't know, I'm thinking of the possible influential politicians in Griffonia that might or might not be alive.

Hmm... Daybreaker know something's happening and I hope it's not Sunset being a snitch and told her that Sunrise's sharpening her knife to backstab her.

I was just starring at various fan made maps of EaW and thinking about this story only for low and behold you to update! I am very excited to see this continue.

Very interesting chapter. Good stuff.

Can't wait for the next one, definitely a very interesting story.

caught up. oh boy you can feel them walking on a knife's edge. and below them. chaos.

can they control the balance and make it to the end, or are they gonna fall into chaos and create major waves

Login or register to comment