• Member Since 7th Nov, 2016
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I have a whole new found respect for authors after attempting to write my own stories. Seriously, Christ!


Another super villain appears in Equestria! A former villain that was sealed away by Celestia and her sister, Luna, over a 1000 years ago (again). But now he is free and causing a rampage throughout the world! Now it is up to Twilight and her friends to stop him! But first, Twilight has to give Celestia a piece of her mind by withholding information about ANOTHER sealed away villain that escaped because of moronic reasons. Seriously, this is like what? The sixth one?!

Started Writing this in early 2017 but never finished due to reasons, so it takes place before season 7.

Featured 7/4/19 - 7/8/19!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 46 )

:pinkiehappy: Seventh if you include the Sirens and eighth if you include the Memory Stone.
:rainbowhuh: Wasn't that Starswirl and Clover the Clever?
:pinkiehappy: They had to learn it from someone and a student's failures are a teacher's failures.

Nicely pulled off.
Just the right amount of everything, and having Discord narrate added a little something.

Thanks, I wasn’t sure if that was going too far of the rail and would make people not want to continue past that scene but I’m glad some people enjoyed it.

Not going to lie, I was expecting a lot more profanity since the tag was there. All and all, this was a pleasant read.
A bit of pissed off twilight, a bit of picking on the whole great villain from 1000 years ago thing, and just the right amount of shenanigans.

One more reason to don't piss off Twilight. She's scary when she's mad!

I know it was kinda meant to be played for comedic purposes, but I've just never been a fan of the "Twilight gets stripped off all but the most barebone aspects of her personality so the author can use her as a mouthpiece to rant about things they don't like" subgenre. Even when it's meant to be somewhat satirical.

That's more on me than it is on you. Sorry.

But he only goes by one name, the name that was given to him at birth, the name that all of Equis will know!


Considering this;






I'm honestly not sure why he wasn't named "Tim"

Damn. A missed opportunity.

This is the funniest story I have read in a long time.

Twi should make sure the payment is delivered in cake. Lots of uneaten cake. After all if you want to make them learn, hit where it hurts. :P

This..is an instant favorite. :rainbowlaugh:


Ooh, I know where this is going!

What? Expecting a fancy, menacing title that strikes fear to the hearts of all who hear it? Nah, just Richard. Richard the goat! He can explode things every time he talks.

I did not, in fact, know where this was going.

(Meen while, at Canterlot front gates)

Unless this was on purpose, it’s supposed to be spelled meanwhile.

That’s all, amazing story. :twilightsmile:

9715175 My first thoughts as well, I LIKE this Richard

And this doesn’t even count the “villains” thrown into other worlds via portals!

I mean, to be precise, only Nightmare Moon and King Sombra were "1000 years ago". Everyone else was from further back.

There is more than a shred of truth in this. Celestia is amazing at running a peacetime country, doing administration and politics, but she's basically to crisis management what King Herod was to childcare.

You’d think Celestia would have learned by Season 6

LOL Richard from lfg.

Lol the title saids it all.

Great job

I love this, usually I don't read fics like this but the title definitely made me do it

No, the true missed opportunity is not naming him Kevin. Also, not involving Keno in the back story.

This is a very good one-shot.

Nope. Tim is better.


Excellent! I try to convey a similar message in my stories but, well... a bit differently. In any case, this is what I needed, thank you!

I’m glad you enjoyed reading my story as much as I enjoy reading yours. Thank you

This is brilliant. Its deeply satisfying reading about Twilight putting Celestia in her place. Nice work. :twilightsmile:

Surprised she bothered to waste the other 5s times.

"But he only goes by one name, the name that was given to him at birth, the name that all of Equis will know!


Dude... what the heck?! Of all the names you could've picked it had to be my actual name. Just take your like, and your Celestiadamned mustache.

Richard was beyond surprised when he heard his own voice for the first time in a millennia.

"Millennium." Millenia is plural, millennium is singular.

"I'm gonna start charging you for this."

I love the fact I can hear this in a fatigued, demeaning, matter-of-fact tone. :rainbowkiss:


This was the best! I don't know why, but I always enjoy moments where characters call each other out on their buffalo brownies (Anyone who's read Parting Words will get it :raritywink:).

Also, Richard seems like a very nice guy. Wish we could see more of him.

Anyway, sorry for the late comment, but thanks for the laughs.

The two guards at the entrance wanted to give their two bits on why the guards are not as incompetent as they are made out to be but wisely kept their mouths shut in case the princess choose to put them under her rage radar.

The situation is resolved and Twilight had calmed down, so you can tell her (and us) now without fearing getting blasted.

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
(But from what I understand Celestia did not know about Chrysalis, so it is one villain less she didn't tell Twilight about. Or did I miss something?)

Eh, I immediately became curious as to what Twilight was going to do in this story and I loved her final reaction, telling Richard to leave. I don't really like reading stories where writers beat on Princess Celestia, but I caught the overall message and I'm cool with it. I like this :)

You're right about Chrysalis, all Celestia knew was that a threat had been issued, she didn't know who was planning the attack prior to it, just be on high alert so everypony was going in blind there. She did deal with Chrysalis 1000 years ago but she trapped her in volcano. A Dragon let her out.

The ending just made me laugh!

a common Theory is, that the threat, celestia was worrying About during the wedding, was tirek. If Chrysalis knew About his Escape, she could have sent the threat in his Name, so while celestia is Looking out for the big red demon-centaur, she wouldnt have time to think About cadances weird behaviour.

Twilight should just usurp Celestia already.


This right here is brilliant. It's funny how we're supposed to ignore this issue. Princess Celestia is either incompetent, the true villain of the series or a massive troll. You decide!

That would make sense given Cerberus left his post and Tirek had been on the loose ever since.

I personally prefer a lovely combination of all three

This story is EXACTLY the kind of hilarious random schist that I am here for

Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

Lmaooo this fic was hilarious! Loved it!

After so long, we finally reached the 400 likes mark! Thanks to all who liked (even though you probably will never see this) and getting us this far. Seriously, thank you

I bet Celestia was about to tell them to get the Elements.
This is some glorious stuff :rainbowlaugh:

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