• Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2016

Alpha Scorpii

Happily retired. Thanks for all the good times :)


Another stupid story of mine. This one isn't even funny. I'm sorry.

Synopsis: In one of Pinkie's parties, Rainbow Dash tells the story of a strange mytical monster which is said to wander around Ponyville, haunting ponies when they are all alone. Twilight, of course, doesn't believe a word.


Labeled as 'Random', because it's the most similar to 'Weird', which I think would be a much accurate classification for this silly story.

Special thanks to Inumaniac for being my proofreader and helping my to create the "remastered" version.

Read the hungarian translation here Courtesy of Silence the Unicorn.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 233 )

Told you this story was weird and stupid.

The idea popped into my mind in the afternoon, and I decided to write it down.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. I apologize for having written another stupid story.

i like it but for some reason i keep imagining him/its name being jack o lantern

Yes! That's all I can say! It was funny, clever, and entertaining. The ending was predictable but fun nevertheless.

So...is Slenderman a brony then? Because the Brony's description matches his really well.

Was an interesting read, kind of funny. Aside for a chunk of grammatical errors that stick out, I'd say this is well worth a read. Good job. :ajsmug:

872330 I'm not going to lie: I based the design of the "Brony" in Slender Man. :twilightblush:

I even listened to his theme song while writing this.

872339 I'm really sorry about the grammatical errors. :fluttershyouch:

I always try to check everything as best as I can before publishing, but I always miss some.

Also, will you make a sequel to this?

O_O, Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! I dont even, what? I, I, huh, interesting. I will give you a mustache for this. :moustache:

Very entertaining fic. I find the thought of our fanbase being depicted as an eldritch abomination highly amusing.

*Shudders* Bronies are scary!

Reminds me of when I first heard of Slenderman.

Our monsters don't groom us. Ponies get such nice monsters.

872523 I haven't planned any, so probably not. Sorry.

872414 Nah, that's cool, we can't be perfect, that's why a lot of writers have other people do finishing edits. Speaking of, if you're ever looking for an editor, hit me up sometime :twilightsmile:

872907 Thanks for the offer :twilightsmile: I'll keep it in mind.

I love this story!

I love you.

I like the story, at first i thought u were ripping off my idea and title of my story "Legend of the Chosen Brony", but now i understand and like your story. ! and a half thumbs up! Keep writing more!:yay:

Another chapter. Come on, make another one!

Hello there, Twilight....Brushie Brushie :twilightoops:

i have nothing to say. this is just that good of a story.

Great work! Very amusing.

Here's something that might help you down the road: punctuation at the end of a line of dialogue. You only ever want to have the punctuation inside the dialogue, but there are several cases where you have an exclamation point and a comma or a period and a comma. So here's some stuff that might help:

Statements: If you are explaining how a pony said something after they say it, you would put a comma inside the quotation marks. Here's an example: “Sorry, Dash, but I don’t believe any of it.”, declared Twilight. In this situation you would simply put a comma after 'it,' like this: “Sorry, Dash, but I don’t believe any of it," declared Twilight.

If you are simply ending the sentence with a line of dialogue, it is fine to use periods inside of quotation marks. Using the same example, you could say: Twilight shook her head, unfazed by Dash's story. “Sorry, Dash, but I don’t believe any of it.”

Exclamation points/question marks: This is pretty easy. If you have either of these at the end of your dialogue, you do NOT need a comma outside of the quotation marks. Take, for example, this sentence: “Are you serious?”, asked Twilight. Just remove the comma, like this: “Are you serious?” asked Twilight. Just remember that you must keep the first letter of the next word (in this case, 'asked') lowercase, unless you are starting a new sentence entirely.

Hope this helps, and again, good job! :twilightsmile:

Alucinante! te ganaste un Internet!

This was good! And your english is actually a lot better than a lot of writers around here :trixieshiftleft:

Only thing that really stuck out was 'spitted' which should be 'spit.'

You have pretty great grammar-I didn't notice anything, but I wasn't looking either. Great job. That was pretty good, and the brush part? That was pure gold.

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, that was awesome :pinkiehappy:

Take ALL of my Internets! :pinkiehappy: this was pure gold! :rainbowwild:
please add more chapters! :moustache: i want more Tales of the Brony! :raritydespair:

Disliked on four different accounts, good luck getting featured. :)

Most excellent, I also am a fan of his song.


Congratulations. I hope you feel all warm inside now, kid.

And yet they do not know what happens if The Brony is angered.

873557 Thanks, your advices are really useful. :twilightsmile:

Since I'm not a native English Speaker, some punctuation and grammar rules are unknown to me. I'll try to not repeate the same mistakes again. Thanks!

873729 Sorry about that :twilightblush: It has been corrected.

873332 I'm sorry that the titles are so similar, it has been a bad coincidence. :twilightsheepish:

Don't worry, I would never rip off anybody, at least, not intentionally.


Hm, nice picture. Good job.

Very good. Thumbs up.

It's true! I would do all of those things! I'm such a monster!

An utmost excellent read my good sir! I was sortof expecting the Brony to rape the ponies it captured, but somehow mane brushing and belly rubbing is even more hilarious and creepy.

875733 Are you sure? :applejackunsure: I didn't intend this story to be scary, just silly and weird. I don't think it would fit there.

875858 It's called a joke. And that site has lots of ridiculous stories that are meant to be stupid. Especially in the MLP category. Yes, they have on of those.

Haven't read it yet. Probably wont. If it has Slender Man NO! I wont read it. After playing that game I had nightmares for 6 fuckin' weeks because of that guy. And in every fuckin' nightmare I found 7/8 notes but he always got me. Then I wake up screaming bloody-fuckin'-murder.

What game?! NAME it! Naow!!! :pinkiegasp:

Well, she better teleport away before it starts giving her tummy rubbins!

Nice story, brony!

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