- Member Since 6th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen Saturday
anonpencil
Don't read my stuff if you have a weak stomach or are easily bothered by traumatic genitalia damage. That's seriously all I've got in here!
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THIS STORY BETTER GET GIN THE FEATURE BOX.
fuck, you're going tequila me.
7602839
Oh, quit your Wine-ing. It's not like this is the Gewürzt thing I've done.
7602844 lol
7602839
7602844
Fuck you both and fuck your puns.
...hugs?
7602860
Sure, but only if I get to cough on you right now.
7602867
Fucking worth it.
Dropped
My pants
You and your stories are to blame for my prenatal alcoholism.
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at 'alcohol abuse' before.
I love it, Pencil!
7602912
Accurate.
Only one? Is there no mirror on the other side?
I remember once seeing an ad for actual tasteless cuboid stones that easily get and stay cold, specifically for this purpose. Wait, no, I found it again.
Whiskey Stones they're called, but I'm pretty sure they'd still work.
The puns in these comments. . . .
abrewcadabrew.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Fucking-Hell.jpg
7602944
Or...OR...just don't drink the scotch frigidly cold if it's an 18 year single malt?
And maybe the muscle is near the taint or something, in the middle I dunno.
7602954
Where can I purchase this beverage.
7602957
Austria, if I recall correctly.
7602961
Damn. Ah well, to the Internet then!
7602957
I wouldn't know what scotch even tastes like in the first place, so sue me if I don't know if it's good when chilled.
The only alcohol I've ever had was from when I mistook a Screwdriver my father had poured out for plain orange juice when I was twelve. That was a very surprising gulp.
7602967
Wow, yeah I can...see why that would be a bit of a shocker! I like screwdrivers though, they're easy to make and I can have low-acid OJ now, so woo!
7602839
No, it should definitely get rum. Sailor Jerry ftw.
7603057
Rum and rootbeer on a hot day after playing hockey is a very special kind of refreshment. That's for sure.
poor fluttershy, she clearly had no idea, he shoulda taught her
7602967 Scotch is very much an acquired taste. Now that I've acquired some, I'm gonna drink it.
7603383
This person has the right idea!
Thank you.
I now have a new name to call my brother's dick because goddamn it smells like squid.
This made me shiver.
I somehow imagined Shy's to be... greasy.
...
I refuse to point fingers.
Fire Ball Whisky.
I couldn't think of a pun.
That was not silly it was very good
7603953
As am I probably right now! HOORAY FOR SICK!
7603966
Well right now, I can do BOTH! How great is that!
I know nothing about alcohol, so you kinda loss me on the scotch part...
I know. Somethings wrong with me.
Clearly Flutters should have gone to the Pie family farm and picked up some whiskey stones.
I'm kind of embarrassed for Anon. Appreciating good scotch whiskey is an aquired sköl, one that he barley even tried to impart to poor, dear Fluttershy. Vatted he should've done is just dram a full four fingers down her, neet. No doubt she'd soon learn to love it that way.
Pencil, why would you write that and not put a 'dark' or 'horror' tag on this story?
7606318
Psst... Hey how's the editing on " Parents night out " '3' gud?
7606554
What even.
If that is supposed to be some joke, I don't get it.
Other than that, nice story.
7607530
You don't pour really nice aged scotch over ice. It ruins it.
It's kind of a sin to us drinking folks.
She forgot to use a coffee stirer.
That's what you do, right?
Ha.
Great story!
what a monster
Never. Ever. Pour scotch, whiskey, or bourbon over ice. Drink it neat or not at all.
8912150
i'll add some crack cocaine to it.
Later that day
(sobbing) I just don't know what went wrong! I got him his favorite drink, and was just pouring two glasses, one for him and one for myself, and then he threw me out!"
Applejack listened patiently, then patted her friend on her shoulder. "There, there, sugarcube...let's go over this: What did you get him?"
Fluttershy sniffed, and stammered, "S...single...malt scotch..."
Applejack let out a low whistle. "OooEE! That's a good-un! How old?"
The yellow pegasus thought carefully. "Um...eighteen years, I th...think? It was the oldest bottle th...they had..."
Applejack threw up her hooves. "That Humun's crazy! Nopony would turn down EIGHTEEN-year-old SINGLE malt scotch!"
Fluttershy's face brightened. "You...you're right! I even put some ice in the glasses to...to...Applejack...why are you staring at me like that...?"
"GET! OUT!!"