- Member Since 28th Aug, 2011
- offline last seen 12 hours ago
Cold in Gardez
Stories about ponies are stories about people.
Cold in Gardez
Joined 28th Aug, 2011 ·
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Interesting and well-written as always, with a not-so-common take of Twilight and Rarity's friendship. Well worth reading!
This doubled sentence fragment seems to have slipped through editing:
7455111
Ugh, I think that got added during the editing process. Need to be more careful.
Thanks.
You could say they've a "friends with benefits" thing going on, but I feel that'd be waaaaaaaaay to simple to describe it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
A mature story from CIG? What a RARITY!
I'll leave.
A fantastic read from you as always, Gardez.
I confess myself a little disappointed that after reading the premise and then seeing Rarity lead so boldly with a suggestion of sleeping with Spike, it turned out to only be a joke and that Thunderlane was the actual lover. What can I say, I'm a hopeless Sparity fan....guess I should have looked at the character tags first as well. A shame, really, Twilight/Rarity hookups tend to make me vaguely uncomfortable because of the complications Spike creates there; nevertheless, I shouldn't be surprised that coming from you, this story was more than good enough that I didn't really mind. And as always I wholeheartedly approve of every effort made to create sexy stories that aren't just about sex, that have a solid plot backing them and stay true to the characters enough that you can absolutely believe every word and action could really happen. I hesitate to use the word 'realistic' giving the whole 'magical ponies' setting, but this really did feel like a very real, honest 'first time' scenario between real, actual people, and that's awesome.
Bravo, Gardez, always thrilled to see you posting stories, and always looking forward to more.
--CG
That was, as expected, exceedingly hot.
But, Rarity's teaching and reactions toward them were what made this all the better.
~Skeeter The Lurker
it feels like twilight is in love with the "idea" of being in love with rarity, as shes the only one to show her physical evidence of an aspect of high level of care.
this almost makes it look like twilight is suffering from social anxiety but she knows it and doesn't know what to do.
thank you for fleshing out rarity. but, that slip about spike...
I am laughing so hard at Twi-ness of that second chapter.
And then
AND THEN IT GETS BETTER\WORSE. Twi, you're truly is Friendzone Princess for any stallion that tries to approach you alone when Rarity's not here to throw you into each other.
7455214 Right? Twilight was so cluelessly awkward, but so eager as well. In fact the whole cute awkward thing between the three of them made this into a genuine, loving moment instead of just sex for the sake of it. That right there is one of the reasons CiG is so great a writer, IMO - he makes things real.
You're missing punctuation at the end of this paragraph.
7455396
It was a joke, meant to startle Twilight into flipping the table.
I adore this take on Rarity. So sharp she'll cut herself one day, if she's not already done so, but loving and giving with it. I was especially fond of her pettish reaction over introducing Thunderlane to a gift-wrapped princess, and how did not work out precisely as she had imagined it. There's a bit of "dance, puppets, dance" wickedness to this more adult Rarity that rings very true.
And oh, Twilight - so falsely convinced of her own undesirability that it's painful to read (and again, it rings so very true, you have a real knack for getting under peoples skin and right to the heart of the matter with a few well-chosen words). It's very well done, how her second-guessing and fretting slowly dies off through the second chapter, until she's finally living in the moment, and can move on, hopefully a little less tangled in insecurity.
Friends let friends borrow material stuff. Real friends let friends borrow...
Run, Thunderlane! Or not.
Oh my stars, I had to stop reading shortly after the ribbon came off. I love your take on these two mares but I can't handle this much of them at once; they're just too perfect. I'll get back to reading this after I find my sides.
My gods, the Twilightness. it's too much. :D
Really well thought out fic. I laughed a couple times at Twilicorns antics and Rarity is the sage like sex master. All in all I love it
You've captured Twilight perfectly: continually spoiling the mood by being herself.
Honestly, the characterizations really are perfect. And those special little details...
I have no words for how good this is.
Wonderful. You nailed it.
7457202
Understandable. I wrote Twilight much as you describe in Salvation, though her part was much shorter in that fic. I'm sympathetic to the idea that Twilight would be comfortable when it comes to sex, if not relationships.
*Blinks*
Incisors?
*Google search*
Oh, ok. Didn't know herbivores had those. Carry on.
7455496
Do you think it's worth translating? //only I have a doubt how to make "horny" joke here work.
7457340
If you can adapt all jokes and dialogue, sure. Otherwise it'll fall flat. Much depends on it, and keeping the flow of fic the same.
And it's not even a Monochromatic story. What a twist.
Would read again.
So I read this whole thing through. I find that I like this pairing. Twilight and Thunderlane's interactions had a nice chemistry to them, and more than once I was left wondering if they deliberately were working together just to troll Rarity. The whole issue with the bow? Comedy gold that had me laughing more than I should have.
You know a mature story of yours is one of the only reasons I'd ever turn off the mature filter. This was just beautifully written, with the bonus of having the intelligent, together, Sharp Rarity of season one back! And I tend to disagree with 7457202 , Twi is an adorable eggheaded mare, raised in a middle class family, partly schooled in an intellectually intense environment, partly tutored by royalty.
The dialog was great, you handled the sex in a respectful, mature (in the sense of being the opposite of immature) fashion. You also were creative with some of the anatomical differences without turning it into a biology text - and the running gag of Twilight's tendency to try to be analytical and do exactly that was absolutely hilarious!
Overall, I think your nailed it (no pun intended!)
PS. - I caught one ackward phrase.
should have the word "that" deleted.
That was a strange story.
A good one, but a very strange one. Not sure why.
Twilight sex commentary is on point. 10/10
7458134
Still, in the show it's been only a big over a year since Twilight's ascension, so despite the things to which you correctly point out her exposure, her behavior on several of her cutie map missions and with Starlight have shown her to be still subject to anxiety and insecurities. I guess it's just one of those things open to a broad range of interpretations.
Ooooohmygosh, this was sooooooooo good!
Rarity was incredibly well-written, and ohmygoshhh, the entire first chapter.. The back and forth between Twilight and Rares was absolutely delightful to read, and more than that, I loved that the nsfw scenes were handled with taste. It felt fitting for the characters, and it was an altogether super nice read!
Thank you for sharing this with us!
That was a very, very good read.
And luckily the unexpected Monty Python imagery only popped up after everything was over!
7458324
That's rather questionable. The timeline of the show is... uncertain.
7460054
Eeyup!
7458134
Isn't that the point though? The stallions are afraid to approach her because she's a princess. She says it herself in the first chapter.
But no one's been trying to catch her and she rationalizes that by thinking she'd have to "put herself on the market" first. Then she worries about being rejected because no one has tried to be with her besides Rarity who she feels deep down in her insecurities is only with her out of pity.
Also show-wise you can see her insecurities in how she handles Starlight when Celestia is coming over for dinner. She's cripplingly afraid that she won't live up to her title of the Princess of Friendship.
Definitely a delightful story of Twilight learning about the joy of being the Princess of Friendship With Benefits, a Rarity/Twilight story, AND a secondary character that doesn't come off seeming like a cardboard cutout with a dick.
So many moresome morsels!
...disco dick.
7463628
Let's not discuss sparkly gentials and sex with Twilight together too much lest sanity fly out the window for it's longed for escape from the brain.
If MLP did NC17 episodes for adult bronies this would be one.
Am I the only one who's absolutely pissed that the chess game ended the way it did, while being simultaneously impressed by how Rarity tricked Twilight into bumping into the tabel?
This whole thing was very real and emotional on a visceral level. This was a clopfic that felt like real sex, for lack of a better phrase, as opposed to the pornographic fantasies that litter this site. The broad details are as good as the little things– the generally awkward tone makes things like Twilight not orgasming but still enjoying herself feasible, enjoyable, and fappable.
You made a very realistic, very honest sexual experience still seem enjoyable and fun for all parties involved. That takes skill, that takes guts, and I not doubt that draws from your own experience. If I could do more than fave and upvote, I would.
7463628
So if Thunderlane's dick had an entrance theme, it would probably be this:
7457334 the same thought was running through my head lol
This was a great story, I always like Thunderlane and Twilight Shipping.
This is one of those stories that I cannot read in one go because I spend all of my time fussing over how good it is.
Awesome story and thanks your work
This is one of the quirkiest lines I've witnessed outside of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I laughed too.
God, this chapter is just full of fun writing.
It's interesting to see a story that's about sex (and other things) rather than showing sex.
Typo here.
I think I'm in the minority in finding the anatomic words sexier.
I wonder if I'm too innocent, cause I actually don't know what most of those are.
There's something oddly satisfying about these last two lines. Because really, this story could be quite mean and blunt, especially when it came to Rarity's personality, which is less soft than in the show or most fan fiction. If I had to choose one word to describe this story, it would be honest. Both refreshingly and off puttingly honest. In some ways it wasn't for me. Though it wasn't 100% a clopfic, it certainly felt much closer to it than Salvation, and I personally prefer creatures on two legs. However, it was simply so well written, and so pure and sure of itself, that I overcame the ways in which the subject matter didn't appeal to me. This version of Twilight felt truly alive to the point that it doesn't feel possible that she was written by a man (though I suppose you could be female, I'm not certain), and that's the best compliment I can think to give. I don't have the capability to judge whether it was a good clopfic, but it was certainly a good character story, one that felt very real, and sharp as a tack.
>Thunderlane
Why? D:
This killed me. XD
I can think of maybe one other author I would trust to mix funny, cute and sexy to this degree. Well done, sir, well done.
8489469
It was before Marks and Recreation :(
This was a really great mixture of ideas and feelings. The characterization at the heart of it is great and feels like entirely natural extensions from the characters as we know them from the show, for all that it's in the context of sex, something we're never going to see strongly touched on. Twilight's narrative voice carried me along smoothly, in this delightful stream of consciousness that never really breaks even as the course jumps and shifts course.
Twilight herself is adorable in her anxiety crossed with curiosity, and the way she keeps getting sidetracked by (for instance) her own overthinking and technical orientation makes for this nice low-key comedic tone that pops up throughout. And, of course, Rarity makes for a great put-upon straight man here. Dealing with Twilight's apparent allergy to sexy or (in this case) focus does have an element of herding cats to it. Thunderlane came off a bit flatter, especially after his initial contribution during the early "talk" part, basically rolling with the punches with good humor and being game for whatever. But that's not much of a negative, especially as it helped keep things from getting over crowded.
One thing that kind of hit me in the first chapter was a certain downside inherited from the format of the show (and, again, the child-centric audience): because the models are pretty close to identical (modulo wings/horn and mane, eyes, and tail), there's a degree of extra overhead necessitated because there's just not much inherent impression regarding physical appearances, how others see most characters' (Rarity and accidental supermodel Fluttershy excepted), or their own self-images. I thought that was handled well, but if things were different there may have been more potential for streamlining on that front.
All in all, great story, and I'm glad I was prompted to reread it.
A couple potential editing things I noticed:
Is there a "be"/"go" missing in there?
Think that should start with a double-quote.