• Member Since 28th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Cold in Gardez


Stories about ponies are stories about people.


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Source

It was supposed to be an easy delve. In, explore, and out.

Instead Daring Do finds herself wandering through an endless corridor, wishing for nothing more than to see the sky once more. And when she reaches the end of the maze, she discovers something waiting for her that hasn't felt the sun for a long, long time. Something very lonely.

And hungry.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 91 )

Quite lovely, CiG. I feel like I've read this before, or at least the thread of it, and not in the Writeoff. But it's a classic scene and wonderfully retold here - Friendship is Magic, indeed!

I simply just love these stories.
Always an enjoyable read.

Nice! A very tense and evocative story, and it's ultimately very true to the core message of the show. :twilightsmile:

and she shot like from the corridor like a dart ejected from a

This word screws up the flow.

This was nice.
The ending was rather touching.

This is interesting. All the ideas are here, but it's too compressed. The 3000 extra words did the story good. :twilightsmile:

Why is the cover pic Elesh Norn? I'd recognize that hat and flayed flesh anywhere. I'm pretty sure the sphinx isn't supposed to be the pure embodiment of Lawful Evil, so it's a little jarring.

You already know I like this story, but because I know writers live on comments -- you've got some great imagery here. I am jelly.

7309686
That's the only reason I clicked on the story

7309686 Same; Elesh Norn's big ol headdress/face/scary porcelain mask really put me off

Very nice expansion!

Mike

Minific version was more fun, expanded version was more SS&E.
Thanks for including both!

Oh wow... I've always been fond of sphinx riddles, and this was a new twist...

... Personally, I would have answered with 'Freedom from this'... wonder if that would have gotten me eaten.

A very enjoyable story.
The legend of the Sphinx taught me one of my favorite riddles, actually.

What walks on four limbs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?
The answer: Man. They crawl on all fours as a baby, walk on two legs as an adult, and hobble on a cane as an elderly person.

A wonderful expansion to the original, letting Daring better understand Jocasta and answering that niggling detail of why the sphinx never left on her own initiative. I do wonder why Jocasta's mask was apparently designed by Elesh Norn, but that may just be a case of parallel design and me thinking too much about card games. The latter happens quite often.

In all seriousness, thank you for expanding this. :twilightsmile:

7309932
7309686

I sometimes like to re-imagine my MtG art with ponies, and the Elesh Norn was stuck in my head. And since I needed a picture of a sphinx, I figured, "Why not combine them?"

7309658

Oop, fixed. Thanks!

7310468 How did that sphinx get in the story without at least two plains and five colorless mana?

In all seriousness, very captivating and interesting. I'm a sucker for riddles sometimes.

7310592 I knew I wasn't crazy. That's the head of Elesh Norn herself.

Nice story.
It leaves a pleasant taste on my mind.
Kind of sweet but a soft, comforting sort of sweetness rather than the sharp taste of a comedy.

Nice story.
Perfect for a Friday morning.

I will be quite pleased if Daring Do ends up being a dinner date for the sphinx... emphasis on the 'dinner' part... :pinkiecrazy:

7310312 Answer: My cat, Lucky. He's weird that way.

Sphinx: :applejackconfused:

There is a house in a place I know,
On it ivy and orchids grow.

There were no orchids on my school... no ivy either... I feel cheated. (Alondro went to school in the miasma-blasted desolate wastes of the NJ Pine Barrens... the walls crawled with mutants and devils... no orchids... no orchids... :fluttercry: )

7309658 And as they travelled, the sphinx told Daring about all the tens of thousands of ponies she'd eaten... tens of thousands of screaming ponies choking on their own blood and bile as the teeth of the monster tore their bowels open...

(One has to wonder, if they don't enjoy it, why do they seem to revel in it? Why do they appear to take so much pleasure in toying with their victims? Is it part of the curse that controls their actions? The classic Sphinx certainly loved to kill. She killed herself when her riddle was solved, after all.)

I thought this was a Silent Hill story. Looked at the cover art and thought that was a Pyramid Head pony!

7309658 I have a new ship. Is it bad that I don't want this ending, but more expansion?

A neat little story. I can't help but think that Jocasta's riddles were all really easy, though. Here's the one I used for the sphinx in my DnD campaign; it's a personal favorite of mine:

"I am no more. Though my form in the eyes of others is fluid, my truth is static. What am I?"

Answer: The Past

Another great one comes courtesy of this sphinx:

"Why should I spare your life?"

Okay in all honesty I could have sworn that Sphinx lady was a Phyrexian and that Daring was gonna die without becoming apart of them or the rest of the world would die if she was freed...why I say this is because the picture has the headdress of a very prominent member of the Phyrexia named Elesh Norn. But I like story, keep up the good work and I hope to see more:twilightsmile:
mythicspoiler.com/nph/cards/eleshnorngrandcenobite.jpg

7310930 Not at all. I would not mind reading a sequel exploring there growing relationship.

731100 Ha that was my first thought to but I guess not although a new phirixea mlp crossover would be
Different...

I say
good show
whaat

7311002
I actually read the story solely so I could ask "When did Elesh Norn become a Sphinx, and why didn't Jin Gitaxias?" or something similar.

7311237 Thank god I wasn't the only one.

Hello Elesh, i played with you at french rites)

Nice fic. Poor kitty pony just wanted some company she didn't have to eat.:fluttercry: But yay for happy endings!:yay:

Aw. Some one should totally make a sequall with Jocasta adapting to life out of a box.

7311642 I feel like that would just be a massive disservice to the story.

7311790
Maybe, but look at that fuzzy-Wuzzy sphinx and say you do not want to read more of her and how she deal with them foolish mortals?

Is there going to be a sequel??

*stares at the cover-image*

... Elish Norn? *backs away*

Wow :pinkiegasp::rainbowderp: Short yet amazing. In all honesty, this is probably the best story I've ever read on this site. Well done :yay:

7311790 Meh. It would detract from the ending, which was exquisitly done, as well as the emotions conveyed, but the concept itslef I feel like would be very interesting to explore. Course, I never thought that a movie like Now You see Me could have a sequel, but someone is trying anyway.

I was expecting maximum over nope of compleated ponies. Got a cute twist on an old legend.

I rather liked it.

What I hate most about one-shot stories:

They're usually well written and they end too soon. :fluttercry:

Loved it.

That was great, and what a very Pony ending.

I once had an idea like this for a story, but I could never get it started. I'm very happy to see someone else had a similar idea, and executed it far better than I could have. Thanks for sharing it!

short but sweet.
Now I want a sequel about ponies meeting the sphinx

I'm a great admirer of yours but I have to say this is not one of your best stories, the story is kinda predictable and cliche, unlike your another Daring Do story, The Lantern.

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