• Member Since 28th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 21st, 2021


One day I will return.       / The ending has loopholes. Use them. Make an even brighter future. :raritywink:


Thrust into the world of her favorite book-series, Rainbow Dash finds herself dragged along for the ride of Daring Do's latest adventure. Mind-boggling as it may be, things are about to get far more complicated. For Rainbow Dash, breaking the fourth wall may very well prove to be a learning experience.

TAGS: Learning curve, Breaking the Fourth Wall for beginners, "Rainbow Sense", Where is Pinkie Pie?

This story was conceived long before the episodes "Daring Don't" and "Power Ponies".
For the sake of this story, Daring Do remains a fictional character, the author remains anonymous, and there is no such thing as a store selling "enchanted" comic-books.

This story is available as an audio-book (text-to-speech synthesized), see individual chapters for links.

Story excerpt:

It still bothered her how she had gotten here, how it was even possible that she was walking side-by-side through some buried underground-structure, with her favourite fictional character become flesh. But as they resumed trotting deeper into the temple, Dash's thoughts kept going back to the event.

"No", Dash told herself, sternly. "That's - that's not it."

She almost would have compared the experience to "Pinkie Sense" of all things!

But she had seen something out of the corner of her eye. It had been... letters. Words. A sentence.

Something along the lines of "... the characteristic noise of a ... spikes closing in right behind ... Rainbow Dash slammed her body into ... ".

And then she had acted, before the trap was even visible. She had known what was going to happen, before it happened.

She ... she had read the next paragraph.

Story-related artwork:
[1] [2]

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 340 )

Yuuuush. Your not in Ponyville anymore, Dashie. :pinkiehappy:

this story is waaaay too awesome:rainbowkiss:


"this story is waaaay too awesome"


I hope that's not going to be a problem, 'cause the next couple chapters are gonna be pretty awesome too. :rainbowdetermined2: ;)

I'ma gunna guess that one of the following has/is happening (And not necessarily limited to JUST one of the following.)
A) The Mare in the Moon is still there
B) There are multiple Moons in the sky
C) There is NO moon in the sky
D) The Stars are gone
E) The Stars are in different constellations
F) Secret idea I don't really wish to divulge.

So yeah! It's pretty good, but there are some grammar issues scattered throughout. You don't put a comma after other punctuations like ?'s, !'s, and periods. Like ' “Wait... what's this dirt doing on the floor of Sugar Cube Corner?”, Dash...' That comma shouldn't be there.

Other than the grammar though, it's good enough for a track, for now!

Yeaaah, it's pretty obvious, isn't it. :eeyup: Obviously, the moon has turned into Swiss Cheese! :pinkiecrazy:

Thanks! Hope you'll enjoy the future chapters, then! :pinkiehappy:

I do have to inquire regarding the grammar, though. See, I'm not a native English speaker, although I do believe I've got the hang of it pretty well. :duck:
Now that you mention it, yes, I have consistenly placed commas as follows:

"bla bla bla", she said, "yadda yadda yadda"

--- and I have done so regardless of questionmarks or exclamation points contained within the quotation or not.

While I did so with the text-to-speech generated audio-book in mind - seeing how a lack of punctuation or comma will cause the software to screw up the synthesised fanfic-reading - I am certainly willing on improving on what, in essence, is an embarrassing oversight on my part. :twilightblush:

"There are some grammar issues scattered throughout"
I hope this is merely refering to the high frequency of incorrect commata-placement in relation to quotations, then?


"Quite, quite"


"Oh dear me"


...there, finished with my over-the-top smug...ish sentence-construction. :twilightblush:

To be honest, I'm surprised the first thoughts in Dash's head weren't "Great, I'm in a crappy fanfiction." I know those would be my first thoughts if I woke up to see Indiana Jones standing over me.


Well, "oh crap, I'm in a bad fanfic" to my knowledge is not how most "human in Equestria"-fics start out either. *shrug*
And here we have a pony entering a fictional word. Why should the reaction be that much different? ;)


... though I suppose that saves us the hole "Wow, I'm a pony"-bit, seeing how Dash already is a pony. :derpytongue2:




Who said it was on purpose? :derpytongue2:

If Twilight's spells misfiring has been done so many times it's already seen as a stereotypical plotdevice, then I guess it might just as well be somepony else's turn for once. ;) :pinkiecrazy:

Wow! Great job!
Can't wait for the next update! :twilightsmile:

Great Chapter. I was hoping for Dash to see the text like in the preview, but Daring Do is great. But why "anyhoof"? Hoof usually replaces "hands" in the show like how "Somepony" replaces "Someone". It is just a odd choice of wording. Keep up the good work.

... No offense, but... 18 minutes to read this chapter? Really? I don't want to brag or sound arrogant, but this didn't even take me 6 minutes, and that was with distractions. I know I have a high reading level/speed, but... :ajbemused: A-alright, AJ, shutting up now... :twilightblush:

Great chapter! A little short, but still good! *Waits patiently for the next chapter*


Thanks! Glad you liked it. :pinkiehappy:

...say, your name seems... familiar. :rainbowhuh:
Must have been posting comments on EQD a lot...? Or maybe mentions as a prereader or something?
...either that, or my memory's playing tricks on me. :derpyderp1: :twilightsheepish:

EDIT: ...and now your name has changed. Huh, didn't know one could do that here. (Then again, I haven't been registered all that long.) Either that, or my memory is reaaaally bad. ^^;

Yay, Adventure! :rainbowdetermined2:


Ah. Thanks. I can see where that mistake came from, "Speer" is German for "spear".
And I just so happen to be German. :twilightblush:

Thanks for pointing it out. ^^;


Yeah, chapter 3 will, if anything, start out with Dash first. As stated in the author's note at the end of the chapter, I realized that it's kinda unbalanced and I'll give her more spotlight later on.

And don't worry, we'll still get to the paragraph from the description. :raritywink:
...but things wouldn't be quite as intriguing without a 'lil build-up first, don't ya think? :ajsmug:

As for the use of "anyhoof" - I must have picked it up in some other fanfic, and the word just got stuck in my head. I simply find it funny! :pinkiehappy:
I mean... it's instantly understandable what it means, right? :derpyderp1: And I'm not gonna be consistently replacing "anyway" with "anyhoof", just every once in a while. I dunno, think of it as a slang / a synonym. *shrug*


Huh, really? :derpyderp1:

I knew reading fanfics the "old fashioned way" might go a little faster if you don't have to devide your attention, but I never took a stop-watch to measure how much faster. :rainbowderp:

Well, 18 minutes is the length of chapter 2's synthesised fanfic-reading. The obvious advantage you have when listening to that is that you can multi-task.
Such as, draw a comic, play a videogame with sound muted, go for a walk, go grocery shopping, get crammed in a train on your ride to/from work...

Heck, you don't even need to keep your eyes open if you're sleepy and still wanna 'read' fanfiction. :derpytongue2:

It's simply more efficient in my book -
well, in the long run, anyway, when reading 40-page fanfics or longer. *shrug*

But anyhoof - glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

the daring do books should be published as legit books. this one would definately be one of them.
dash = :rainbowderp:

im sorry to be so annoying/trollish/picky, but in this bit: “You're working for Ahuitzotl...!” she grid her teeth in barely suppressed anger., its grit. sorry for my pickyness, im OCD like that sometimes :(
anyways, the story was awesome (see my previous post) i loved it. keep doing what you do, it works ;3.



Actually, I have to say "thanks" for that. :ajsmug:

I'm a ... bit OCD myself, yet I did not pick up on this. :derpyderp1:
Ah well. I'm German, sometimes happen grammatical error English might. (Also, spelling mistakes that a spell-check can't sort out.) :derpytongue2:

Seeing how - at one point or another ... couple chapters from now - I wanna try submitting this to EQD, I'd like the fic to be in good shape by then. :scootangel:

Heh, yeah - but then everypony could read what Dash was thinking while inside the story. :rainbowderp:

Right when I finish reading a bunch of chapters, THIS AWESOMENESS shows up and my backlog grows yet again.

Not that I'm complaining. More awesome stuff to read, YAY! I mean, :yay: yay

I have to admit I never once "read" one chapter of your story, but did listen to all readings.
Usually I take my sweet time, get something to chew on and generally relax. I can even close my eyes and formulate the pictures that are describet to me while "reading" the story. (try that one with a regular book :pinkiecrazy: )
Anyway, I like that you did put such a media to our use and will further use it to my advantage.

On the other hand you made just a wonderful story. I like the general Idea and the way you go about doing it is wonderful. I can't wait for the day this story is complete.

Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

What about some shout-outs to 'Echo the Diamond Dog' or 'Griffin the Griffin'? Both have, supposedly, met Daring Do and are quite badass allies.

So a pocket dimension in the book that lets them live the adventure in the book? Why do I have a feeling Ms. Sparkle is behind this? :twilightblush:

This is a great story so far! I love how you literally sent Dash into her favorite book series. (I enjoy doing that sort of thing myself.) :twilightsmile:
One thing though: In the scene where Do got trapped in the vines and plants, you described it (the plants) as fauna. Not to nitpick or anything, but fauna is animals. Flora is plants.
Just sayin'. :ajsmug:

You should probably change build into built at five or so places seeing as it was in the past, but other than that this is a great story so far.

Mind bender. Nice, must continue reading story.

I love the concept that Dash is "reading" the book as she lives it!
Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

Well, almost everything. She honestly doubted she'd ever again encounter a pitfall filled with flesh-eating piranhas swimming in steaming hot chocolate, while razor-sharp candy-cane spikes were descending from the ceiling, which itself was covered in some dripping goo that had incapacitated her flying abilities at the time.
This trap gets all my "wat?".:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

This is awesome!
So Dash is learning to break the Fourth Wall. Isn't Pinkie going to be proud! :pinkiehappy: They can break it together and prank all us humans.

"Anyhoof" doesn't really make sense. We don't say "anyhand" or "anyfoot." Well, I don't.

In any case, this is a most enjoyable experiment in metafiction. I'm looking forward to more. Especially more information on the history of the Mareicans.

Personally, I expect Daring Do fanfiction to be about as dark as the Indiana Jones series. That is to say, there's the potential for lots of violence and even fantastic gore (like melting the face off of a Nazi or pulling the beating heart out of a human sacrifice), but nobody could honestly call the world the stories take place in a nihilistic one.

“You okay, Rainbow Dash?”
I could only hear Derpy saying that, which means:
Being Daring Do is Derpy's night-job.

My mind has just been blown.

And the wall comes down. I could imagine the metaphysical crisis when dash "finishes" the book. Did Dash read all of Daring Do's thoughts on the tablets?

And the wall comes down. I could imagine the metaphysical crisis when dash "finishes" the book. Did Dash read all of Daring Do's thoughts on the tablets?628318

I had the same grip too with Anyhoof

The entire absurdity of the situation totally had made her loose her cool.

Should be 'lose.'

they might have been able to place more than one trap, but another haul - dangerously close! - quickly made her discard the option.

Should be 'howl.'

t was steep, impossibly steep, sticking out of the ground menacingly like a speer

Should be 'spear.'

Couple rough spots on top of that, but altogether I like where this is going.

n was staring right back at her, edged deep into the lunar

Should be 'etched.'

And 50-odd-so years in the past. In an

Could be anything, really. Just making it '50-odd years' would work fine, but it makes no sense like it is now. Maybe you meant to put '50-or-so years?'

Just because she and her friends were so willing to share their stories, didn't mean that everypony did.

Should be 'would be.' Also, there shouldn't be a comma in the middle of the sentence, there.

Daring knew of several different temple-archetypes, asides from different construction-styles, layouts or traps to be expected when facing a specific type of temple.

I think you accidentally this sentence. I get what you're trying to say, but this sentence doesn't quite manage to actually say it.

er left, there were several intricate carvings, edged into the canvas of a row of stone-tablets

Again, should be 'etched.' Also, 'stone tablets' is fine without a hyphen.

water was running down from a rift in the ceiling,

Rift isn't the best word to use here. Something like 'rent,' 'hole,' 'crack,' or 'fissure' would work better.

"By Celestia, some of the traps she had just escaped from were perfect proof of that! And by the stars!"

What is being emphasized by the italics, here? They appear completely unnecessary to the whole of the sentence. Also, 'And by the stars!' isn't a complete sentence.

But recent new dating methods had indicated that artifacts found in the Mareican m

Department of Redundancy Department, here. Unless you mean to say "But recently, new ('modern' would sound better than 'new,' but that's a preference thing) dating methods had..."


Agreed, "anyhoof" has no place there.


...maybe you should consider - as I subtly keep promoting in the chapter-headers - using one of the freely available text-to-speech tools to convert your daily dose of fanfiction into audio files? It allows for multitasking, and you can also put them on your mp3 player and listen to them pretty much anywhere.:pinkiecrazy:

It's how I read all fanfics. ;) :ajsmug:


Actually, I'll give you a tiny little spoiler right here - she isn't. :derpytongue2:


Actually, I haven't read these, so I couldn't. ^_^;


you should.

Literally, you should. They're two VERY Badass HiE stories that are quite well-written.


I'll admit I'm a bit less inclined to grimdark stories, unless they really catch my interest in one way or another. Kinda kills the mood, having our favourite Equines being subjected to unimaginable horrors, etc, etc. :ajbemused:

Read part of the prologue/first chapter(?) of "Echo", actually, and the whole "people going to Equestria getting brutally mauled on arrival"-thing kinda tipped me off. *shrug*

I'll see if I'll get around to reading it eventually, though.


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