Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.
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This story is a sequel to Colgate's Rants 2: The Antagonist Edition
Colgate has had to deal with many annoying patients, both nice ponies and villains. After killing Tirek and becoming a princess, she continues to operate her practice and of course, problem ponies continue to come in and her rants continue.
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Prince Blueblood: I'm glad you agreed to meet here today Mr.togo
Togo: ......
Prince Blueblood: umm yes anyway I've ask to meet you here today to hire you for your services
Togo: ......
Prince Blueblood: I see the rumors are true? You're not very talkative are you?
Togo: Name of the target.
Prince Blueblood: Straight to business? I can respect that. The target's name is Colgate she's located in Ponyville
Togo: .... I'll take the job
Prince Blueblood: Excellent I expected things to go smoothly Gologo 13
I liked it.
7401508 I'm glad you liked it. Sometime before the end of the year I will do a 4th one involving either G1 villains or the fillies and colts. G1 villains most likely though because they had plenty of issues in their personalities that would piss Colgate off. I'm thinking especially of Hydia, Reeka and Draggle.
This story is weird and dark and gruesome and disturbing and why can't I stop reading it?
Well let me tell you something, you grouchy old mare! You may be annoyed by Cheerilee's cheerful attitude, but your bad attitude annoys the heck out of me! If you don't stop insulting good ponies, I swear I'll ram that dentist drill straight up your flank! Geez, with that mean streak, are you on your cycle or something?!
-Paradise Oasis
A married mare?! You disgusting pile of-
Excuse me, I need to go scream into a pillow or something.
-Paradise Oasis
Oh, that poor mare! Lady, you just go and try to get my wing. Remember, Colgate darling... we dream valley ponies eat meant, and we it comes to mean psychos with attitudes, we aren't very picky. Keep this up, and you'll find yourself plucked, shaved, and turning on the spit covered in BBQ sauce!
At least this time Starlight deserved what you did to her, I'll let this one pass because of how well it's written, good job!
-Paradise Oasis
Ha! you can't ruin my credit, I don't have any. Ponyland has a barter system whose guilds set the price for goods and services- which means ,as a hated Equestrian, YOU DON'T GET PAID!
7412698 Thanks!
What do you expect? Bon Bon's always stuffing her face with chocolate, except when she's fighting with Sweetheart over Teddy. And that mare wants to be a model, sheesh!
-Paradise Oasis
Good job mary-sueing-er, getting you bill from those bull-headed yaks! They still won't return my library books!
-Paradise Oasis
Haha! I love this! awesdome job givivng that jerk what he had coming to him!
-Paradise Oasis
You got one decent male in your office, and you dint collect your bill by taking advantage of him? Especially after all the mares?
-Paradise Oasis
You like being seen as a corrupt dentist? Wow, talking about reveling in being evil...
-Paradise Oasis
Dark, disturbing, and a very funny read, good job!
-Paradise Oasis
7412742 Colgate did take advantage of him, it was just in a way that would benefit her financially.
7412753
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
Being evil is fun. What fun is there in being nice, sweet and normal?
Hey I wanted my money and he had things on him that were of monetary value! Besides, I only like mares!
The idiot is a total asshole and besides, everything turned out good in the end, right?
Let me know if you require my services. If I'm not busying acquiring relics for the next Daring Do book, I'll gladly assist you.
Models fight like that all the time which I am very grateful for, well when they knock each other's teeth out and have the funds to pay me.
With that being the case, just steal something of high value to pay me. I have discovered that inter-generation lawsuits are legal and binding.
Don't get me wrong, I like Starlight. I just can't let ponies get away without compensating me. The only one I'll let slide is my baby sister Lyra.
Unlike most other Equestrian ponies, I eat meat as well. After all, I did eat Cloudchaser's wing. Also, in my Colgate's Practice stories, I have a voracious appetite for meat. Even pony hearts are on the menu. Hell I eat them while they're still alive! Take a closer look at me in the "Colgate's Practice" series and then you'll know I'm not one to take lightly.
Come on, I'm not that bad. No I'm not on my cycle, I'm always like this!
Thanks for liking this though. Yeah I'm mean and corrupt but compared to how I am in the "Colgate's Practice" stories, I'm a sweet little angel here!
7412720
Could you provide me with pictures of her trying to get with Teddy so I can show them to Lyra? I want that relationship destroyed. That way both me and Teddy can be happy.
Colgate
7484464
Ask and Ye shall receive;
mylittlewiki.org/w/images/c/c8/Bonbons-diary.jpg
7484480 Sweet! Lyra is going to be so pissed! Thanks and tell you what, you'll get free dental whenever you want.
did she and her friends rape cadence? if so. than this warrants a sex and maybe a dark tag
Colgate is gonna be arrested if she keeps giving ponies random fees.
7960423 Here is the thing, it doesn't say a single word about rape nor does it say they had sex with her. "Borrowing" could mean anything! It could mean they forced her to clean house, forced her to cook for them, forced her to do any number of things. Sex was never directly mentioned. It my have been implied, but not actually even mentioned!
7960441 Colgate is a princess and given the terms of the customer/doctor agreements, she would be above any arrest so she can charge whatever she pleases.
7960441 she's currently a princess and has her patient/doctor agreement. It's her practice. So in the end she's scot free
7960932
heavily implied, not this chapter specifically, but others? Oh boy...
Nooooo, not the twins!
ILL ALWAYS PAY MY BILLS
10933023
Good because if you don't, you know what will happen!
This isn’t funny at all ...
10945576
Well we all have different senses of humor.
7412964 he was lucky that Colgate didn't took all of his teeth and his Tongue or all of his organ
and might even sell his blood in bottle to the black market