Dealing with my next patient is very infuriating, Bon Bon. I'm not quite sure exactly what she does for a living but I do know her special talent involves making sugary treats so that right there is a strike against her. Want to know what the second strike against her is? You'll soon find out but I'll give you a clue, let's just say that if she were to ever piss me off big time she would wind up being hauled out of here by the coroner.
Well one day she comes strutting into my office acting like she's all that and a bag of chips and just like always, she isn't overly pleasant towards me. One thing that always pisses her off is when I point my hoof at the sign regarding payment. She simply waved a card around and told me she had a way to pay.
Well I take her back and for starters, getting her to sit still in a dentist's chair is next to impossible. I'm thinking it is likely because of the cavity causing crap she makes because the Cakes are the same way although I shouldn't compare them because at least the Cakes are nice. I examine her and HOLY SHIT, her teeth are worse than Cheerilee's! She somehow managed to have a cavity in EVERY SINGLE TOOTH! Naturally this really pissed me off. It isn't just a matter of what her problem is, it is also a matter of who it is. I didn't want to have to see her anymore than need be so I scheduled her for a Saturday and decided to take care of everything at once.
The following Saturday comes and when she arrives is in quite a foul mood. Well she ain't the only one. I'm pissed too, I'm pissed that she would let her teeth get so bad I would have to do this. Oh well, the amount she is about to be billed is going to be epic! Over twenty fillings, the inconvenience fee, the weekend fee and just for shits and giggles, I'm going to bill her for my lunch break as well.
Once I get her seated and start working on those cavities, she started biting down on my equipment and of course that pissed me off so I had only one choice, I sedated her entirely and was able to get those cavities filled with no problems. Woo-hoo, this will add another 150 bits to her already astronomically high bill!
Once everything was done and she came to, I took her up front for the favorite part of every appointment. Unfortunately for me, when she gave me her insurance card, payment was declined. I checked the card out and it was issued by the government but unlike other cards associated with TiaCare, this one had no customer service number so it must be with some other, more secretive branch of the government. After I grilled her for a while I learned that she works for some secret anti-monster agency in Canterlot. No wonder it was such an odd type of card. In the end though, I did discover it is a shadowy subsidiary of TiaCare and you know how I feel about ponies who try to give me TiaCare cards!
In the end her bill came to over 5,000 bits. Yeah I overcharged the bitch for the fillings and I overcharged her on everything else. Now there is one major problem with her though. She didn't have enough money on her or in the bank to pay me. Now I could have seized her house, sold it and not gave a rat's ass as to where she would live BUT I sure the hell don't want to have to deal with her.
Now here is where that comes to play. Some of you probably know that Lyra is my little sister and lives with me. This is why I did not seize her property. I did not want Bon Bon living with me. I know Lyra would have begged me to take her in and that was not happening. I hate Bon Bon enough as it is and the fact that she is dating my sister is downright revolting. Now I could have had Bon Bon wiped out with no problems but killing my sister's marefriend would not have done much for my image as a princess or my image as a sister. If I weren't royalty, I would have just killed her and fed her to the timberwolves. Maybe becoming a princess was a bad idea, now other ponies' opinions across the land actually matter.
The only other option was to convince Lyra that Bon Bon was cheating on her and then I could seize her property without having to worry about taking her in. I tried that but sadly Lyra never bought it. Ugh, why must Lyra be so trusting and naive? Ok, enough bitching about my baby sister being too trusting and naive. I'm quite sure by now you know what the second strike on Bon Bon is. I swear, if she ever hurts Lyra's feelings I will simply claim she tried to overthrow me and kill her on the grounds of treason. If I do that I won't have to worry about Tia or Luna stripping me of my title.
After this I vowed that I would never see that bitch again. It would be better for both her and me if she traveled several hundred miles to see the next nearest dentist. It would be cheaper for her in the future and it would be less stressful for me. Let's just hope that in the future I don't have any other patients that piss me off as much as Bon Bon. Hell I'd rather deal with King Sombra and his crystal broken teeth again than have to deal with her.