• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
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StormLuna


Not all Alicorns are female and not all Alicorns are royalty. Some are working class ponies that the masses can relate with.

Sequels1

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Equestria, known for it's love and harmony, finds itself in a war against a dark alliance that knows no bounds. All hope seems lost when a pony loyal to Canterlot is corrupted and joins the alliance. Can Equestria survive this war or will it be shrouded in darkness and hatred forever. Warning: This story is not canon. For those who dislike non-canon stories, this one may not be for you.

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 158 )
Comment posted by Paladin Redflare deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by Paladin Redflare deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by StormLuna deleted Aug 5th, 2013

I Noup Happy Whit This Finali, They hoped triumph Al Final Twilight :twilightangry2:

2975537 Mujaker, I can't really understand your post all that well, but were you hoping that Queen Twilight would have defeated LaurFa and ruled all of Equestria forever?

2975970

Yes, And Sorry For My Inglis I No Speak:twilightblush:

2976024 Perhaps on down the road sometime I will write one where Twily wins.

2976424

I Hope :twil
ghtsmile:

Or May Be Final Alternative

Comment posted by Paladin Redflare deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by Paladin Redflare deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by StormLuna deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by videocrazy deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by videocrazy deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by StormLuna deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by StormLuna deleted Aug 5th, 2013
Comment posted by videocrazy deleted Aug 5th, 2013

Niza, SEQUEL!!!! :flutterrage: Pls:fluttershysad:

Twili World Domination

2998671 Mujaker, I take it that if I write a sequel, you will want it to be continued from the alternate ending.

StormLuna

ok found this story recently and wanted to see how it was. It seems to be very fast and by that I mean in its transitions. There are no breaks between scenes just a line saying where we are back to. I think your plot isn't bad but the way it is now just doesn't seem to flow properly.

2999881 @ Mane Six.....Is there supposed to be some sort of broken line between scene changes? I have seen this quite a bit and I have wondered, am I the only one who was never taught that in school?

3000641 Mujaker, I have decided that I will write a sequel to this. Twilight will be in power over Equestria but there will be a powerful gem somewhere else in the world (not going to spoil it) that she wants to take so she will become even more powerful. I have a feeling you will like it. I have another story planned first but trust me, the sequel to this will be finished before the end of the year.

StormLuna

3001122

OOOHHHH!!! :pinkiehappy: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! :flutterrage:

Oh My....:fluttershysad:

Sorry :twilightblush: I Relly Happy For This Jeje

Yes yes yes! Finally a fic where Twilight wins and becomes the ultimate ruler!
Sequel to the evil version would be great! :twilightsmile:

3044073 Cool_Story_Reader----- A sequel to this is already in the works. And it does continue from the alternate ending. That one had a lot more potential than the ending where Twily is returned to good.

This is awesome!! I hate Cadence!!

HOLY CRAP!!!!
THE COVER ART IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait...
it's only a first page but i found something wrong *possible :twistnerd:*
y'know, you said it took like a few days from Chrysalis to reach Sombra, but she returned home in like one day? :trixieshiftright:
Or did you just typo or something?

wow it's , like ,only the second page and i'm already feeling a little bored
you really should use more dialogue tags, and not just 'said'.
Makes it sound monotone
now the only thing that is keeping me reading is the interesting plot of the story and the intro. (as well as the giveaway cover art)

wow, the plot just progresses so damn quickly.
Good and bad

Oh honey, don't be so hard on yourself. You could be an earth pony and I would still love you just as much."

Why do I dectect slight racism in that line.

Prediction- twilight resists but still goes insane and takes over.

I really like this idea of the villians just having a casual chat over breakfast, lunch, a few hard ciders, etc. It really adds to the story although I sense much filler in your future.

Evil ruler= happy ending
Originality, a rare event.

3113258 i have to agree i caught that too it sounded wierd but atleast its only minor and the story captivates me grately.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I have to agree with themanesix on his point, also the speech puts me off slightly as it sounds more like a directed theatrical story but apart from that I love the concept so far and will carry on reading.

fuck my last comment, QUEEN TWILIGHT FOR THE WIN, WOOHOOO :flutterrage:

Oh the evil grin you naughty girl you, I love your depiction of Twilight 11/10 mustaaaaache :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

nope lost me here dropping the alicorn island and the 'one' bomb, sorry I can't read past this but story so far was good and your twilight was too.
its just my opinion is all I can't see Luna and Celestia flying to this island that nopony had known of before and crying like little fillies to their parents.

3343796 FlutterxxDash, that is the thing. Many fanfictions don't follow the story line entirely. New characters will be introduced. I did the same thing regarding the police officer in Rarity and the Thief. He is not in the show but I put him in the fan fiction.

I'm not dissing the story, its amazing don't get me wrong but its just my opinion is all I'l probably end up coming back and reading on afterwards, when it comes to celestia and luna I just see them as very powerful beings and seeing them become (especially celestia) so weak in just a few chapters just shocked me, so trust me its a great story for those who think I'm dissing the story I'm not read on its just my opinion. Truthfully I thought most of the way you wrote the story was very entertaining, especially the parts involving the creation of twilights armor absolute fantastic so like I said just an opinion. I'l check some more of you're stories if you have any more anyways.

3369319 If you don't like a weak Celestia, then chances are you won't like some of my stories further down the series. I just brought a different Celestia and Luna into the mix regarding them going to their parents and LaurFa to aid in them reclaiming Equestria. Rather than having them be all powerful, I decided to have them be more like everypony else.

3373660
no worry's, I'l probably carry on reading at a later date to see how it turns out, its like I say though everyone has an opinion, still its different but it isn't bad, in fact its a brilliant Idea but its just one that I'm not too fond of it myself, that is to say I'm not saying its bad that she is weak it will fix into you're story, sorry if I offended you.

3373678 You didn't offend me at all. Luna is my favorite pony but I decided to even have her go to her parents to regroup. Twilight fans love the first three but they don't like 4 and 5. I doubt they will like 6 either. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and hey, it's however you feel about it. I had one person tell me a story of mine was so bad that it was almost a "go kill yourself" type of story. Now how anypony could say that to a fellow MLP fan is beyond me.

3374207
I have to agree I wouldn't ever go that far, to be honest I think a story no matter what the opinion of a person is, is good if the author likes it themselves, not many people show the more vulnerable sides of the sisters, truly a brilliant Idea its just in my nature to think of them as a higher being, the whole Alicorn Islandis great too, what shocked me tho was that there was numerous alicorns is all, it didn't bother me that much, plus you're point of non canon ponys I agree with, I think if you're doing a fic it should either be totally Canon or have a brilliant enough backstory to be stand alone which you'res is, so once again I didn't read on just because of my preferances, hey I'l still end up going one day. il read the rest of this and see what happened because I always do hehe, carry on the good work, sorry to bother you so much

3374230 You're not bothering me at all. Hey, as long as someone is civil and nice, they can talk all they want. Regarding LaurFa "The One" she too isn't 100% perfect and does show that later in the series. I got her name from a combination of Lauren Faust. I have seen fan art of Fausticorn and that is the model I use for her, solid white, red mane and tail and the quill and ink jar for a cutie mark. In the final story I do bring in a sister of hers that aided her early in the history of the world, well before Equestria. For those who have read one of my other fan fics (I don't want to give it away) her sister will be very familiar.

3375592
Okay thats it I have to carry on now hahaha, it might not be all to my preferance but its still a brill fic and with all this talk I gotta see how it is, and yeah my only problem with the 'ONE' is when an author (usually) makes them invincible, I do the same with all the one stories but no author has replied to me so far on this fact so I have to thank you for replying to a fan, I'm gunna carry on soon, if ya want have a check of my stories, but I have to say my grammer sucks and some don't like my depictions of luna, by the way shes definately my favourite princess

3375893 Trust me, "The ONE" isn't invincible. I don't want to spoil things for you, but that will be proven towards the end of this series when a pony "The One" wronged in the ancient past returns.

Finally we get an evil ending for an evil Twi fic. :twilightsmile:

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