//------------------------------// // Dr. Caballeron // Story: Colgate's Rants 3 // by StormLuna //------------------------------// My next patient is a very strange case as I had done business with him before, I had sold an item of very high value to him, Dr. Caballeron. Naturally when he came in he was very friendly. He was talking about how he made a killing selling that horn he bought from me to some guy named Ahuizotl. Wow, I never once imagined that he was real! My ears immediately perked up as I figured that he would likely have more than enough to pay whatever he would wind up owing me. After I had him fill out the new patient paperwork I took him back. Unlike other new patients, he didn't seem to be a bit nervous. I was thinking to myself, "This is going to be a nice, quick and easy appointment." Once I began to examine him though, I knew that it would wind up being a rather long and difficult one. He wound up having three cavities but the strangest thing was that he also had four gold teeth. I shook my head at him and asked why he had so many gold teeth. As it turns out, he has not taken all that good care of his teeth throughout his life. He went on and on about how he is on the road most of the time collecting artifacts and that he simply didn't have time to brush nor did he have the room to carry toothpaste on him. Naturally this pissed me off and I smacked him. I don't give a shit what kind of schedule you have or what line of work you are in, one should NEVER neglect taking care of their teeth. It was at the end of the day and he wanted these cavities filled ASAP so I just decided to do it right then and there. Chances are he won't like it when I bill him for the after hours treatment and given that he claimed Ahuizotl gave him a ton of money for that horn, I figured I'll overcharge him. Hey, there might be some honest pony who takes care of their teeth that needs help paying for his or her cleaning. He tried to chit chat some more during the appointment so I had to let him know that the more he tried to talk, the longer this would take and the higher his bill is. I don't want to stay at work too late because I did have a lot of fun planned with Sonata later. He was a bit frustrated because it seemed as though there was something he really wanted to tell me but that could wait until after the appointment. It took a bit longer than I had hoped but eventually it was done and it was time for my favorite part of every appointment, collecting what is owed me. I led him up front and guess what? He didn't have a single bit on him! After what he told me I naturally went into a rage so I slugged him so hard I knocked him out cold. I took him back to the chair and sedated him. I figured that since he didn't have any money on him that there had to be some other way for him to compensate me. I pried his mouth open and saw those four sparkling gold teeth. I decided that I would just take those as payment. While he was out I carefully removed those things so that I would not wake him. When he came to I had him back out in the reception area. He could tell something was wrong at first then it hit him, some of his teeth were missing. He went into a rage demanding to know what happened to his teeth. I smacked him and pointed to my sign regarding payment being required at the time of service. He started throwing a fit about how the dentists where he came from didn't require such things and I let him know that I'm not like them and that I did have bills to pay. He threatened that he and his buddies would come and destroy this place. I pointed to my horn and wings and let him know that I was an Alicorn princess and that I could easily take them out so he decided to accept the fact that he wouldn't get his teeth back and went on his way. Regarding those teeth, I knew it was against the law to try to melt down used teeth and sell the gold and it was illegal to simply put them in other patients' mouths. There was only one thing I could do to be properly compensated, sell them on the black market. I did that and guess what? I wound up getting twice the amount for them than what Caballeron owed me. Just like always, it turned out quite well for me. I am going to admit something to you, transactions like this are a whole lot more fun than your regular forms of payment. It is quite exciting either cutting wings off or doing business on the black market.