• Member Since 24th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

Winston


The original Sunburst!

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Thanks to a newly found common interest, Rainbow Dash and Rarity seem to be getting along great—right up until they have a very sudden, and very hurtful, falling out.

But Rainbow Dash thinks that maybe there's more going on than it looks like on the surface. Could an old toy be the key to unlocking the solution to a serious problem?


Pre-read / proofread by Georg and Lazy Gray.

Entry for Scribblefest 2016

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 49 )

This...this was gorgeous!! I haven't read a good story in such a long time, and I'm really glad you've made this. No one seemed out of character, and the personality in the inner-monologue/narration was brilliant to read. Bravo, bravo, and thank you for brightening my day.

And everything came full circle, and...AND...

IT'S SO PRETTY AAHHHH

7002165 Thank you very much! Really glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

This piece, like most of yours, is truly poetic prose.

7002196 Thank you. I'm glad you found it to be so. :twilightsmile:

Great story. :) This felt just like an episode, especially with RD thinking that Rarity and Twilight were talking about her and how Rarities predicament was resolved. ^^ :raritywink:

7002552 Thanks! That's the sort of feel I was going for.

I have come to enjoy these type of simple, yet deep slice of life stories. Thank you, man :twilightsmile:

7003648 Very welcome. Glad you liked it.

Very nice friendship moments here! And good characterization, too. This is some quality slice-of-life right here. :raritystarry:

This was sweet.:twilightsmile:

...Am I the only one who got the impression that that actually was Rainbow's old kaleidoscope and she just didn't recognize it?

Also it's a bit sobering to imagine Rarity (almost) completely losing her inspiration, but what the hay, she's only equine.

Mmmm, I see a Tiesto reference here...

I could see this being an actual episode! Wonderful writing and realistic characters, sir!
Too many 'daww' moments!
I loved it! Thank you for a wonderful story!
:twilightsheepish:

I love it! Please Hasbro, make this an episode! :rainbowkiss:

vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/typemoon/images/c/c0/ZelretchCP.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121108132051
"Now THIS is worthy of my title!"

Good shit man, I'll write an intelligent comment later.

44 and zero as of this moment.

It's beautiful. Just like this story.

7003793 I was actually thinking the same thing

7003755 You're welcome! :twilightsmile:

7003793

.Am I the only one who got the impression that that actually was Rainbow's old kaleidoscope and she just didn't recognize it?

That's certainly one possible interpretation. I actually thought about that while I was writing and left it indeterminate so that people can read it how they want to.

7004059 You're welcome, and thank you! :twilightsmile:

Perfect. By the way, FimFiction counts double-quote marks as words, so "In the beginning" is five words.

7005167 That would explain a few things. Hmm. Maybe someday I'll have to write up a test document to figure out once and for all what is and is not a "word" to FimFic. Or, look around for someone who's already done it, because I'm sure someone else has been curious before me.

7005303 I'll save you the trouble. The above "In the beginning" saved as a chapter shows 5 words. Saved without the quotes, 3. That's how I tested my theory before hitting Post Comment (so I'm paranoid.)

7005167
Wow, that's, strange. Wonder why they consider double quotes words rather than punctuation. :rainbowhuh:

One of those little stars looks like the determination spots

It's always sweet when someone can find a common interest for these two, I think they have the least one on one time of any pair. I always knew it would have something to do with luxury.

:raritystarry: "I say Rainbow Dash, it's as if fashion is in your blood."
:rainbowdetermined2: "My great-great-great grandma was a fashion designer. Although, other ponies said it was annoying how she said 'dashing' all the time"

This is nice! The characters are spot-on, too. This could be a show episode.

Nitpick:

Judging by the six-pointed radially symmetrical image, I think this one has two mirrors angled at thirty degrees apart

30 degrees apart = 12 copies of each point
60 degrees apart = 6 copies of each point

Did anyone else see the title and immediately think of Holding on to You by Twenty-One Pilots? Also nice story, uplifting and such; the story motivated me to actually do something today instead of sit around. gg author person

7008947 Yeah, see, I thought it would be 60 degrees myself, when I was writing, and with some research it turns out that, yes, 30 degrees = 12 reflections... however, there's a catch. They're in 6 sets of 2 reflections each, and those two are inverse mirrors of each other, and so each of these individual reflections only forms an apparent "half" of a single section symmetry, leading to the appearance of a six-fold radially symmetrical whole image.

As a further example, 36 degrees between mirrors would produce ten reflections but an apparent five-fold symmetry, and etc., following the formula of: symmetrical repetitions = 360 / (2*n), where n = degrees between mirrors for a two-mirrored kaleidoscope.

This is one of the things I love about writing. I learn all kinds of things about stuff I never thought I'd need to know, and it's always fascinating! :twilightsmile:

And thank you for your kind words about the story. Show-episode was the kind of feel I was going for, so it's good to know that I captured that.

7009105 I know what you mean about 6 sets of 2, but I don't know exactly what "six-fold radially symmetric" means. There will be 12 radial lines of symmetry, but you only need to use 6 of them to generate the whole image. "6-pointed" sounds like a snowflake in the kaleidoscope would have 6 points, but it would have 12 for points between the mirrors, 6 for points formed by objects going under the mirror. In conclusion, I am a geek.

I wrote a brief review of this story here.

7009188 Neat. Thanks for the review!

I liked this. When the big misunderstanding happened, I was worried it would be too cliche. But it ended up working for me. There isn't much interaction between Rarity and Dash in the show, and they're extremely different characters, so seeing them connect in a way that feels natural is a treat. The ending appears to be a subtle nod to the fact that Rainbow Dash preformed her second sonic rainboom saving Rarity. She certainly doesn't need an old toy anymore.

Eventually, with some guidance, she settled on a bouquet of fancy long-stemmed roses in a combination of white, yellow, and pale pink. For another thirty bits, she really hoped they said the right thing. Roseluck proclaimed it was sure-fire that they would, but also that there were no refunds.

This line made me laugh so hard. Really, I'm still laughing. Oh, jeez... :rainbowlaugh:

I love the way you write character. Bravo, I say!

I have to pause my reading to skip forward to the comments and ask:

Okay, what? Pink and green, on a yellow/orange coat? What color wheel are you using that those are complementary? :derpytongue2:

7108330

What color wheel are you using that those are complementary?

They're not, but not all colors that go well together are strictly complementary. Sometimes you see it and "just works." Aesthetics doesn't actually have a lot of absolutes. Context is important, in this case, the context that the pink and green color system of that dress actually did work pretty well on Applejack. :ajsmug:

7108565

in this case, the context that the pink and green color system of that dress actually did work pretty well on Applejack.

... oh. Er.

I, uh, kind of have Opinions on the show's fashion work.

But as it turns out, my ex-wife (who once upon a time I roped into watching the S1 premiere, and otherwise knows nothing about the show) is over so we can get taxes done, so I can get an unbiased second opinion on this!

Me: Hey sweetie, I need your opinion on something as a person who wears clothing.
My ex-wife: I am a person who wears clothes, and I can do that.
Me: (finds a photo of the Applejack dress you're talking about, and a picture of the worst dress I've ever seen on the show, and puts them side by side on his laptop screen)
img06.deviantart.net/fdfb/i/2015/139/a/f/applejack_in_gala_dress_by_magister39-d8tygjj.png
img10.deviantart.net/79ed/i/2013/048/a/2/princess_luna_s_coronation_dress_by_90sigma-d5v6nfz.png
Okay, which of these two dresses is a greater crime against fashion?
My ex-wife: ... oh my.
Me: Yeah.
My ex-wife: The first one, though, definitely. At least with the princess one the stars kind of go with her motif. With Applejack, the pink and the green and the roses don't fit her theme at all.

All that aside, the story definitely pulled together, and does feel quite show-authentic. Nice writing job.

7108802 Oh! I see where you're coming from. Yeah, okay, that one's a fashion crime.

The one I was actually referencing was this one, from "Simple Ways":
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/b/b3/Apple_Jewel_ID_S4E13.png

7108874
Okay, yeah, that one's much less of a disaster.

But compare and contrast the colors against the dress linked in my comment. I don't think you actually have green and pink there. It's more of a teal and purple-red, and in that case you do have complementary colors -- blue/orange and purple/yellow.

... starting to feel like Rainbow Dash now, getting sucked into fashion arguments. :pinkiecrazy:

7108802
7108874
I actually kind of disagree that pink and green don't go together; I've seen them go together a bunch and, frankly, I don't think the problem with that Applejack outfit is necessarily just the colors.

Also, they're like, naturey and stuff :V

I dunno, I think it can look okay.

It isn't my kind of style, but...

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later #45.

You can find my review here.

7114328 Cool. Thanks for the review.

This was actually tied for first place for the AJ award, the judging was that close. And my vote was for this one, for sure. I just wanted to let you know.

Keep being awesome! I always feel like I can learn something from your stories!

This is a nice story, with a satisfying conclusion, but... well, it all feels a bit chilly. Not just during the argument, either. I very much appreciate the dialogue, which feels very well in character and nicely crafted. The way the kaleidoscope itself is used is pleasing, too. I just wish there'd been a little more warmth here. Also, the "twenty percent cooler" callback feels a tad forced. Still a like, though.

This was actually a really cool story. I love how you managed to make Rainbow Dash and Rarity relate to one another in such a believable way - especially considering Dash's pronounced aversion to a lot of what Rarity enjoys, and vice versa. But color as common ground - now that was brilliant. 🌈 :raritywink:

I don't think the "twenty percent cooler" callback was forced at all, in fact quite the opposite. I thought it tied in very naturally. I also think the story did indeed have a warmth to it - at times it was just more tastefully subtle than overt. :eeyup:

I understand how Rainbow could've been mistaken about what Rarity was saying to Twilight, even if I knew as the fashionista went on that that things weren't going to be about what they'd initially seemed to be. I did think the apology was really thoughtful, and I love how quickly her friend forgave her. 💐 The hug was sweet too. :twilightsmile:

I also loved the part where Rainbow talked about her own problem from foalhood with Rarity, and then passed on something that had helped her - it's a rare thing when we really get to see Dash doing something that really exemplifies empathy as opposed to sympathy, her being so purposefully reluctant to partake in behaving all 'mushy', but she really shone in this story in not only an empathetic way, but also as just being a very good and helpful friend in general. :pinkiesad2:

Anyways, all things considered, this was a lovely read. And I have high regard for any story that gets me to like Rainbow Dash a little more, since even though I have a fondness them all, I tend to relate to the other members of the Mane 6 more often than I do with her. :rainbowdetermined2:
i.pinimg.com/originals/88/4b/4d/884b4dcff707d3285c67108ac0239891.png
This was well-written! Thanks for sharing! :pinkiehappy:

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