The time comes for all students to step out from under the shadow of their teacher and choose their own path.
On that path, knowledge is power, but if it all goes wrong... if that power is put into the wrong hooves... how far might somepony who is trying to reconcile the position of teacher with the duties of ruler be forced to go to fix these mistakes? What level of personal involvement in being responsible does she owe herself and her people?
...And how much is it going to hurt?
Gold medal winner in the The Brightest Days writeoff event. Thanks to the participants there for their feedback, as always!
Chapters (1)
Awesome idea and execution
Pun intended
11582475
Thanks!
Holy molly. That is some dark stuff right there. Excellent display of strength, and power. A true ruler as she is in the show. Good write.
Exquisite work. Heavy hangs the head indeed. If it didn't, it'd be poorly suited for the crown.
(paraphrased) A great ruler must sign many writs of execution and grants of pardon. Far too often they sign too many of the last, and not enough of the first.
(Wish I could remember where I saw this. I think it was in a Pournelle or Weber story.)
Amazing work. Very poignant, straight to the point, and excellent introspection. Thank you, sir.
11582607 And this is why I shall be BEST DICTATOR!!
No pardons at all! 100% EXECUTIONS FOR EVERYBODY!!
That would be an interesting experiment... what WOULD the EoH do to her?
I say we find out! After all, you can't lie to Deus Ex Machinas!
Alondro gallops in, "OOOOOOOOO!! PICK ME! PICK ME!!"
Celestia eye-narrows, "No."
Alondro pouts, "Why not?"
Celestia, "You enjoy it."
Alondro,pouts more, "Discord was right. You ARE a terrible spoil-sport!"
Some very good ideas here, i feel now like celestia definitely ought to be in power
I have to ask: Why doesn't Celestia just abolishes the death sentence? Life imprisonment can be effectively the same, and it removes the burden of carrying out such a horrid thing from everypony.
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That's a good question that I'd hoped for the story to raise.
I also wrote it the way I did to present this question in a political crimes context, where it becomes so much more complicated. If it was a simple personal crime that only affected herself, maybe (I think almost for certain) she'd let it go with lesser punishment. But as events transpired here, she's not necessarily in a strong position to choose that way, and that's meant to raise other questions about the real and effective limits of apparent power.
Where do rulers draw the line?
Where to they have a right to draw the line?
How do they face impossible choices when those things come into conflict, and the consequences go beyond themselves?
I like the idea of this story. It shows how even though Celestia rules Equestria, she still lacks the power to over turn fundamental rules of her own nation. Suppose that could be a sign of a fair leader, but more likely, it's one who may only be a figure head. Similar to the King of England really.
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Yeah, kinda makes me wonder just how much power Celestia has in this setting? Could she actually push such a law change through the nobility?
Also, I guess this story isn't canon with Sunrise, as Celestia mentions there she only ever killed that one pony (Star Fire). You never thought of unifying the canon of your stories?
So not only did Celestia do nothing to remove capital punishment in the law of Equestria, she even went for a public execution. Yeah, don't think that was very in-character for her.
And it's not like the story portrays her as weak and powerless. She is portrayed very much intimidating, with the power to change ponies' positions at will, and the ponies, including those judicial board members, seemed to be very scared of her.
That's not to mention even in the real world, almost all heads of governments have pardon power. It comes with political cost, of course, but if they really want it, there's nothing forbidding it. In this case, because Celestia herself was the direct victim of the crime, it was even less controversial if she had just pardoned her assassin. And if this was a special case, it was even easier to argue for special pardon. It was only not fair if Celestia had executed many political opponents before on the same charge, which gives even worse implication.
The story just doesn't make very good case.
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I've just imagined brave pony columnist who goes and critiques Celestia's decision using similar phrasing
Well, you can read and debate the situation differently. Obviously, cartoon Celestia wouldn't execute anyone, and maybe story would have worked a little bit better during Luna's banishment and not after. But it fits as an exploration of idea
Myself, I read it as an echo of that Ned Stark quote, "The one who passes the sentence should swing the sword", which befits an honorable ruler in a fantasy story. Also there is a factor that Celestia is personally responsible for upbringing of Dawn Star, and that seems to be in character too. Girl goes and finally fixes her mistakes one horse step at a time, what is there not to like?
Actually now that I think about it, Dawn Star could've been named Sunset in author drafts at some point
Also that scene where Celestia had to pluck her own feather was top notch. Love that symbolism
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The idea is ok. It's the execution that failed.
If you want to make it hard for Celestia to pardon her student, make it that her student didn't just attempt to kill her, but committed something more unforgivable to others, like murdering some other ponies while plotting the coup.
And make the nobles/judicial board more aggressive. Don't hint that Celestia could just strip away anypony's position like in the story, it undermines the argument that she had no authority to change the sentence.
And definitely do away with the public execution. Absolutely unnecessary brutality that was in no way in-character for Celestia. The story tries to spin it that she wanted her subjects to "see and know all that I do". That's a lousy reason for such public brutality. It's the kind of idea you would think brilliant but when examining carefully is terrible. A public announcement would be enough, and it could happen in a close space with only the 2 of them, while the others could still see the light strike from above.
I'm also confused about the timeline. But I assume the parts that was after Luna's return was actually just Celestia thinking about the event in the past. The execution probably happened during Luna's banishment. If not, that's even worse, when neither Luna nor Twilight was opposed to the sentence.
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Well, you certainly can be read as a person who was expecting to be more shocked by the content that aims to provide a look at the raised questions from a more philosophical/contemplative angle, while sending the point across that Celestia can make tough decisions if the situation calls for it. That's fair. I think there is enough fanfiction that tries to 'wow' you with ruthlessness, clearly defined stakes, and the such
I love it when people make the responsibility of a leader and a royalty here so true and vivid.
The pain here of a death sentence is really making me feel, and that symbolic storytelling here is also very fantastic.
So Celestia had not one, but TWO students of hers attempt to betray her to become a princess and/or alicorn? Sounds to me like she may not actually be the best teacher.
I mean, Sunset Shimmer stole an incredibly important magical artifact and used it to brainwash a ton of teenagers with the genuine intention of overthrowing Celestia, as stupid as that plan was. I'm fairly confident she was forgiven despite that also being high treason. Attempted high treason? High treason under duress?
So what is the difference between the two? Just believing that Sunset wasn't going to kill her if given the chance or something? Maybe Dawn Star's attempt was more blatant, but the fact that another one of Celestia's students got away entirely without consequence for the same thing just makes it feel like Celly was playing favorites. There's a bit of hypocrisy muddying up Celestia's personal convictions in this story as far as I'm concerned.
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Sunset Shimmer likely first ran away to the human world where Celestia had no agency or jurisdiction before she did anything overtly treasonous.
After she stole the Element of Magic, she escaped again to where Celestia couldn't follow. Instead, Twilight ended up solving the stolen Element problem. The way Sunset was dealt with and Sunset's subsequent actions before ever coming back to Equestria gave credible evidence of enough of a change of character to mitigate the situation.
Dawn Star, on the other hand, is only 'repentant' in the most performative and insincere way. That's a question I wanted the story to touch on: what do you do with someone you want to forgive, but hasn't undergone any genuine change and doesn't seem to intend to? And beyond just the personal and into the political realm, what do you do as a leader/ruler in that situation? I was interested in exploring a bit about how much choice does Celestia actually have here, realistically vs theoretically?
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So the difference between Sunset and Dawn Star boils down to how they behaved after their Treason attempts were thwarted? Because Sunset Shimmer was basically hit with the mirror-world version of the elements of harmony, which has been shown in Luna's case to change behavior from angry to repentant.
Dawn Star might have had her behavior changed to what Celestia would have considered "worth showing mercy to" if she had the same benefit of getting hit by the purifying rainbow light of the elements of harmony, as Dawn herself suggested.
And I don't buy that Sunset was beyond punishing because she commit her crimes outside of Celly's jurisdiction. She stole the means by which she would commit treason on Equestrian soil and extradition from the mirror world would be highly appropriate if it was decided that Sunset should be punished.
The story accomplishes everything you want it to accomplish with Dawn Star as long as Equestria Girls isn't treated as canon, and that's fine by me.
Good writing, but the idea itself seems kinda unrealistic. Death sentence in Equestria? No, you won't convince me that it makes any sense. Tirek literally threatened the whole ponykind and was sent to Tartarus, no questions asked. Chrysalis invaded Equestria to consume ponies' love and make them, basically, slaves? Nah, let's give her a chance after her whole army turned against her. And so on, and so on. I'm all for Celestia being firm ruler, able to act when needed, but it's completely out of character for her to even consider executing anyone. Especially her student. All in all, I really dislike plots that completely ignore the show's canon, only to show some "breakthrough" edgy idea.
Celestia doesn't want to kill her, her judiciary doesn't (necessarily) want to kill her and even after doing the deed, feels horrendous in herself over it. All for 1 pony who betrayed her, tried to kill her and perform a coup.
Imagine Celestia having a sit down with someone like Joffrey Baratheon or Cersei Lannister. Pool girl would have an aneurism finding out about all the blood on their hands for the most trivial things and them not giving 2 shits in response.
11583857
Do you mean the Tirek and Chrysalis she definitely totally didn't execute by turning them to stone?
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Well, it's not like we're talking about Storm King. Tirek and Chrysalis are still alive and, if I'm not confusing something, were released in the comics at some point. But I'm yet to read them, so can't say for sure. Discord was turned to stone also, but he's Discord. Oh, and I also remember Twilight being turned to stone by funny chicken. Basically, turning your enemies to stone is an efficient way to avoid having prisons :)
I really enjoyed how you portrayed Celestia in this story. Showing how distraught she is and how she blames herself for her students actions shows how much she cares about each individual subject in her realm. But in the end, she knows that the security of Equestria is the most important concern. Showing her struggle and her resolve gives a portrait of just how difficult it is to lead and what a leader faces each day. The saying is true: heavy is the head that wears the crown. It is also heavy on the heart and soul.
Wonderful story, Winston! Well done!
Well done. Sometimes ya just gotta... and farming it out doesn't make it nicer.
The feather was a really nice touch. But it's time for a tiny quibble. Typically* the base of a feather is cut and shaped to make a writing quill. Of course that would ruin your poignant imagery of the blood mixing with the ink...
*perhaps always - i don't claim that level of expertise
I love this. But I noticed the comments talking constantly about how Celestia or Equestria would never kill and I am sitting here groaning at the niavëte of people here not realizing that Celestia didn't have the Elements of Harmony for most of her over one-thousand year rule.
And also that the Tree of Harmony and the Elements have a will of their own. They can simply choose to refuse to work at any time they seem fit.
The series used them as a crutch for the longest time and by the second half of it tried everything to get rid of them. They were a mistake in meta and in canon.
11583678
To be fair though, its canon that sunset was already completely reformed by the time that she even saw Celestia again. She could of punished her anyway despite all the time that’s passed but given that she’s so partial to second chances it wouldn’t make sense for her to do that when sunset is not only seemingly reformed and repentant, but twilight can even attest to it.
Also i wouldn’t say that her crimes were out of her jurisdiction, I mean her crime was committed specifically against equestria, it’s more like how do you extradite someone from another dimension that doesn’t even know you exist and would fall to chaos if they found out you did.
11583857
While it's true that a death sentence doesn't fit the show's canon, it's possible that it could be a part of the world. (Maybe not likely, but possible.) It's worth noting that the show is fundamentally for kids. If I recall correctly, only two ponies in the show ever needed to use a bathroom (and then only once); relations with hostile nations are settled in a half hour with friendship; and an anvil, cart, and piano tanked from several hundred feet up was a comedy gag and not, y'know, extremely fatal.
And that's all fine! It's a cartoon: it's not meant to be taken that seriously. But, it could be seen that the show is a sanitized version of the world it portrays, and that would leave room for things that are not canon but still fit within the world.
The only bad thing about this story is that we don’t know anything thing about dawn star. Who is she? Her dream? Her inspiration? Her hope? Even proper emotional weight of her crime that made her deserved this punishment.
Celestia’s sulking is good, yes, but it can be better if dawn star can be relatable too.
7/10 good but could be better
11599952
We know enough about Dawn Star for the purpose of the story being told, and we don't know more about Dawn Star because that wasn't the point. Not going too deeply into her background was a deliberate choice I made as the author. The main thing that fleshing out Dawn Star would have accomplished would have been to make the reader either sympathize with her or hate her, but neither of those is a goal I had for the story.
This isn't a story about the past and it's not a story about Dawn Star, so I didn't try to write those things in for their own sakes.
It's a story about how Celestia handles a difficult obligation in the present, and while I was writing I found it to be a stronger story if I took the less-is-more approach of staying focused there.
11600903
How about Celestia’s interaction with dawn star before she gone emo? Showed how happy they are from Celestia’s perspective.
That will both make it clear to readers that dawn star is not a psycho from birth and her personality was actually mounded by noble society, making her tragic character. While the main focus still remained at Celestia.
11600998
Like I said, this isn't Dawn Star's story.
HEAVY IS THE HEAD.......