• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Chengar Qordath


I write lots and lots of horse words; everything from comedy to drama. If you like what I write, please support me on Patreon.

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Flight Camp was a life-changing event for Cloud Kicker. Her horrible fight with Rainbow Dash forever changed things between them, and drove a wedge between Cloud and Fluttershy.

But what if that had never happened? What if Cloud and Fluttershy had stayed together? How would the lives of the three friends be different? What other changes would ripple across Equestria as a result of that one event? Cloud and Fluttershy might be happily married, but how would that change the lives of their friends? Would Rainbow Dash go down a different path to joining the Wonderbolts? How would Rarity's life change if she never met Fluttershy until she moved to Canterlot?

Where would they be today if they'd traveled down the road not taken?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 164 )

Biased as I am in favor of Derpy, Fluttershy absolutely fits the role of mom, and Bunny could give Dinky a run for her money in pancreas-destroying adorableness. Equestria, naturally, faces death by cute whenever they have playdates.

I've definitely enjoyed the peek into this alternate universe, and if and when the time comes, I'd love to see more.

I wonder how the divorce looks from AJ's side of things. :fluttercry:

3715777
They'd bicker and argue too much. That's good for a short term relationship, but as soon as the long term starts to sink in things would slowly split apart as faultlines split and form volcanoes.

On a more general note, this is nice extra bit for everyone following the winningverse.

3715814
Well, I mean nowawadays. Consider, they were married, very much in love, something Rarity said was NEVER an issue. The farm ends up splitting them, and now AJ is running a farm that by all accounts is a money sink. Without Rarity's financial help, the farm has likely gone significantly downhill, unless she found another backer. (Odd thing here though. I am imagining a lonely Applejack, desperately trying to save her family's legacy, realizing that Rarity was most likely correct, and wishing she still had the pony she used to love around. Facing hardship is terrible. Facing it alone is even worse. (Granted, she presumably still has her family, but you know what I mean.)

In the ensuing two hours,

This makes me wonder how in the world Rarity managed to grow up in the same vicinity as her little sister.

No doubt there would be much wailing and sobbing when Bunny left for college.

I forsee her trying to talk Bunny into attending university in Canterlot, to stay close, or convincing Cloud to move to whichever city Bunny goes to college in.

diplomacy and tact were not among Rainbow Dash’s virtues.

Glad to see that hasn't changed.

she was making a suggestion for activities once Cloud and her wife had returned to their chambers?

Dominatrix!Shy it is.

managed to remove said diaper and make quite a bit of progress towards distributing its contents all around the house.

Ah. That brings back memories ... unfortunately.

Y'know, what with a look at four of the Element bearers, it leaves me wondering just what happened when Nightmare Moon returned, because quite obviously Sky, Dash, and Rare aren't connected to them, and from the description of events it seems past time when that would have happened.

Gotta say that I'm going to love this month. AUs are always a blast. And people seem to be having fun writing them.

It's also a great excuse for you to dust off the Mane 6, Chen. There's really so few chances for anyone but Eepy and Dash in the Winningverse proper. I was pretty much in love with your portrayal of Rarity in Blossom's virgin-card side chapter. So it's nice to see her again. And I really do love the interplay and banter between Dash and Rarity here. Definitely the best part, in my mind.

Though the shameless setting up of a dozen little plot threads to be grasped at and explored is pretty cute. Like Sparkler being a Kicker, and Derpy's marriage.

I would love to see more of the path not taken. Maybe you could even make it it's own verse! It would certainly be happier then the Dead-Derpy-verse.


3713394 Yes, death by heart-melting!

I like. The reactions and interactions were believable, and alternate universes are always fun. RariDash instead of RariJack and Royal Guard Dash were both cool editions, and Bunny destroyed my pancreas. I think I have diabeets now.

3715837
Does make me wonder how things played out for the rest of the Mane Six, and what ended up/ends up happening during the pilot. Honestly, I can see Twilight trying to go after the Elements solo and getting killed that night without the other five as backup.


Wouldn't basically every mortal on the entire planet just have died if things didn't work out the way they did though?

“Clom!”

Cloud's the twin planet to Raxacoricofallapatorius. Oh lord, the hilarity.
Also, Bunny has beaten Dinky. 'nuff said.

I only regret that there wasn't more.

quickly , and

Might want to fix that.

Aside from that, this was quite fun to read. Rarity seemed spot-on, and oh Celestia, the name for Rainbow's proposed trick was hilariously bad.

3716003

Makes me wonder too. What is Twilight doing now and more importantly to me what is Pinkie Pie doing right now?

Also while I realize that this may not be the intent but oddly this universe, on the whole, is a lot worse off than our original universe. We get Cloudkicker and Fluttershy to be happy along with what sounds to be a happier Derpy (she seems to be with somebody right now) but we have a lot of unhappier ponies.

Rainbow Dash has lost a lot physically along with some of her friends (she still has her Pegasus friends in the original universe but she had her Ponyville friends too which she now mostly lacks). She also loses a very devoted marefriend in Pinkie Pie.

Rarity and AJ have a divorce and AJ seems to be having problems with the local weather mare (something that she did not have in the original universe). Also is Rarity different from not having the close friendly bonds that she has in the original universe? For instance I don't think that the original universe Rarity would leave like that due to her numerous bonds to her many friends in Ponyville but this Rarity does not have them. I also think that AJ is different too. We know that AJ does not accept help on the farm outside of family until the mane six take an episode to show her otherwise. Chances are this is an AJ that refuses help (Rarity does not count since she was family) and this probably contributes to the frustration felt by Rarity.

We also know nothing about Twilight and Pinkie Pie. Twilight could still be very closed off from the world depending on whether or not she has been forced to find friends (and whether she had any luck in doing so). She could still be in Canterlot (I cannot tell from here whether the Nightmare Moon thing has occurred already, will be coming up, or has been delayed). Pinkie on the other hand is probably much the same though she is lacking her closest friends and her marefriend which could be quite the blow though it is hard to tell since she wouldn't know what she is missing.


And most damning of all....Cloudkicker just isn't as fun in this universe but hey that is kind of expected as she did not have to develop that personality to deal with her loss of her relationship with Fluttershy like she did in the original.

Also shouldn't Dash look slightly different in the picture something is wrong...

This certainly does raise a lot of questions now since it appears the mane 6 aren't linked together in this verse, especially involving how NMM must have gone down, and the little bit about Derpy's husband coupled with what little else we know of him (A White Unicorn Stallion from Canterlot, that apparently is high up enough in the Royal Guard that his absence at a social function would be unthinkable) makes me even more curious how the changeling invasion and crystal empire would play out in this universe; would Cadance simply have a different husband, could she even find another love deep enough to expel an entire invasion force?

A quick question if I may; is the dragon from Rainbow's story supposed to be the same one from Dragonshy, but with a very different outcome since the elements weren't together?

3715918 That's not setting the happy bar especially high :rainbowlaugh:

3716234

Also shouldn't Dash look slightly different in the picture something is wrong...

Nice catch, I didn't even think about that.:rainbowhuh:

seems this is a very different universe................. it is cute but i guess that what hapepned in flight camp would likely have had a major impact on rainbow dash, perhaps strengthen her sense and need to be loyal, be careful with it, unless she loses her friends. she was utterly horrified she was giong to lose so much when everyone got pissed at her for firing cloudkicker............

it makes me wonder, though, how nightmare moon was taken care of.

Well, this was an interesting foray into an alternate universe. On one hand, there's the happy couple of Cloud and Flutters with their little foal, and Derpy is happily married. On the other hand, Rarity had a divorce, and Rainbow lost a leg and suffered a blow to her flying ability. Guess things kind of even out.

I really wonder what's up with Pinkie and Twilight, though. And I also wonder what they status of everyone is as Element bearers.

Good story.

You look down into the abyss.

You hear the wind whistle from its depths.

It sings to you, a sick and twisted song that nevertheless rings true.

"Sellout... sellout... sellout..."

You go back to your room and think about your life.

You weep.

Want to see more of this intriguing 'verse sometime! This was a great peek into a cool AU.

Cleary Dash needs to replace that weathermare in Ponyville... :trollestia:

In the description:

Cloud and Fluttershy might be happily married, but how would change the lives of their friends?

While I'm no expert, it is my humble opinion that you seem to be missing a word here. I'll get 'round to reading the story soon as possible though, because I myself have wondered about this countless times.

3716165 Don't you think you should include some more context, so poor Chengar's not looking for a needle in a haystack (I'm really stretching for a pun here...)?

3716410

I have this strange feeling that Blossom is that weather mare in Ponyville. With no Rainbow Dash or Cloudy to help her she may not be as easy to deal with.

3716451
You can literally find if by doing a "find" on " ,"
It's that simple.

3716490 Really? :twilightoops: I have a feeling my life's going to get a lot easier from now on.

3716488
That might make sense! But with the description, it could be anyone. I don't remember any particular pegasus with a grudge against AJ. :ajsleepy:

3716496
Welcome to the [ctrl] [f] side. We have time-saving tactics. While you're here, care to sample [ctrl] [h] to also replace what you find with what you want to be there instead?

Just start numbering these universes like Marvel does. Here, this one is 982, the main is 616. Go from there.

I should make a map of the timeline or something.

3716500

Well that is the kicker Blossom (or any of the Pegasi in Ponyville for that matter) did not have any reason for grudges in the original universe but who knows what happened in this one. As I recall Blossom was a little bit antisocial and harder to deal with when she first arrived in Ponyville (or something like that) and it was Rainbow Dash and Cloudkicker that helped mold her into what we know today. IF she was still like that she could get angry with AJ over something leading to a grudge and this grudge that is known in this story.

I like this Cloud. Kudos good Chengar.

Aw, Rarijack noo. No matter, I shall go down with my ship. :trollestia:

This was a very cute story. I loved Bunny, I loved the small nods toward other characters, and I love how ever though it's set in an Alternate Universe, it still felt like the same old Winningverse.

I spotted one typo, however.

“She's the perfect little addition to their our family!”

I'd go with "our".

Yes! New Winningverse fic.

Thank you Chengar.

3716504 I've done that before, actually, while experimenting with how to replace every "cuz" I wrote with the more proper "'cause" some time ago...

This went in a completely different direction from what I was expecting, but was an incredibly enjoyable read. I loved the backstories you gave Rarity and Rainbow, and their banter throughout the chapter was just masterful!

Bunny considered this for a moment, then slowly reached out with one of her tiny little hooves and tapped my nose. “Raree.”

I would have melted right there.

See, this is how you write an alternate timeline. Too many times I've seen people make a radical change, yet for the most part the universes were still largely 1:1 translations. Here though, Derpy is now married as well, Dash joined the guard and lost her leg and Sparkler was instead adopted by the Kicker family instead of by Derpy. Though, unfortunately, this also means that unless you dip into some really icky territory, Star X Sparkler doesn't exist in this timeline. Real shame too.

Though I feel I have to ask: what does this mean for the events pertaining to Nightmare Moon's return and the Elements of Harmony? You established that the divergence point between these two universe was what occurred at Flight Camp, so logically the events preceding that point still occurred, like the Lunar Rebellion for example. Rarity, while still friends with Fluttershy and at one point married to Applejack, said that she has only had a passing association with Rainbow Dash, meaning that none of these four ever came in contact with the Elements. Pinkie is a big unknown, but as far as I'm aware the point of divergence happened after Rainbow's Sonic Rainboom, so Twilight more than likely was still chosen to become Celestia's student and carry out the events of Nightmare Moon's return. Unless this timeline branches off into the "Manehattan 6" universe, I'm curious how thay night went down in this timeline.

3716003

She'll be fine. She'd just find another group of friends to use the Elements.

Some interesting ideas at play in this story. Admittedly, for me the first 2/3rds was a bit too much on the side of "The Incredibly Detailed Account of an Uneventful Night of Babysitting" (cute as it was), but we eventually do get to the fireworks factory, or at least to a fireworks stand and get some details about how things are different here.

I'm not aware of any behind-the-scenes discussions about this AU, but clearly it was a choice to not touch at all on the events of the pilot episodes. I'm always biased against alternate universes that take away the accomplishments of the main heroes and still have things work out without being significantly worse... Things here seem pretty rosy for Eternal Night, and it seems that the six friends who were linked together before they even met didn't get together this time. Things are clearly not as good for Dash and Rarity (neither being National Heroes, and Dash has adjusted to the fact that she'll never live her dream), but things aren't too bad either, and none of them that we touch on here seem unhappy or like they're missing anything in their lives. I'm not really sold on that, or on the failure of Rarity's relationship.

Still, an interesting read and probably a spot-on view of Fluttershy as a mother... Thanks for sharing it!

Enjoyed, but... poor AJ...

3716787

I'm not a fan of the idea that any of them are replaceable, myself... And I personally think "The Cutie Mark Chronicles" suggests that they all had their destinies linked when they got their cutie marks, and so those five stars around the Element of Magic on Twilight's flank represent those 5 ponies specifically.

3716945

See, I find myself on the opposite side of the spectrum. I don't believe in predestination of any kind. That Twilight could only make special best friends with only 5 specific ponies out of a population of thousands just strikes me as a bridge too far. That and I've read stories where other friends work out just fine.

3716003
That topic went around and around with the pre-readers too.

We aren't even completely sure that Luna ever came back, at this point. Or Celestia might have turned to the military, or waded into battle herself. She might not have had good candidates for the Elements, with things so changed, and so she might not have sent Twi out as her cat's paw to begin with.

We might know more about it by the end of the month. Rumors are a few other parts of this continuity are planned to be touched on by others. (Assuming that pans out)

To be honest. I was completely lost the whole time I was reading this. I was honestly expecting this to continue from flight camp, you know. Providing a flashback on how Clouds and Fluttershy's relationship didn't suffer like in the original universe, how they had a kid, etc.etc.

I just wasn't able to enjoy this story as I had hoped.

So, I don't suppose Sparkler being Cloud's adopted sister is ever going to be elaborated on?

D48

I am sort of undecided on this story. On the one hand, it spent far too long going over every little detail of caring for Bunny (and unless I am mistaken, her full name would be Bunny Kicker :twilightoops:). It also does not really make much effort to explore what else happened to the other ponies and major events like Nightmare Moon which is extremely frustrating. To make things worse, I cannot make heads or tails of the timeline because some of the comments make it sound like this is happening at about the same time as the regular winningverse while others make it seem to be happening many years later.

On the other hand, Bunny was adorable and the conversation between Rainbow and Rarity was absolutely fantastic with both of them feeling perfectly in character and having some very interesting alternate history to discuss.

As such I cannot really justify giving it a thumb either way, although I will favorite it in case it gets updated despite the complete tag.

3717031 Nightmare Moon was coming back either way, and given what happened the last time Celestia squared off against her there is no way out without activating the elements. There may be other options besides Twilight, but the Elements have to be brought to bear one way or another.

Another good Winningverse story! I'd be interested to see more of this alternate universe, too.

Oh, but Dash seems to have the wrong number of legs in the cover image.

3717031

I was wondering that too whether Luna came back at all. One always has to wonder what Celestia was doing in that 1st episode. Celestia knew Luna was coming back and put Twilight there to deal with it on purpose. We don't know what she was doing when Nightmare Moon came back or whether Celestia allowed Luna to come back (so that her sister could be returned). Was Celestia defeated or was she out of the picture on purpose to allow Twilight a chance at helping her? We are in the dark on these and other details.

Twilight may still have been sent to Ponyville but she would not have found the same ponies. AJ is probably changed in some fashion by this divorce. She might still find Pinkie. You also have to wonder do the elements require one to a bearer or could you wield more than one? We know the princesses can but we don't know about others. We also know that each of the main six best personify one element but does that mean they can only personify one? There were jokes in season one about RD being better at honesty and AJ being better at loyalty maybe there is something to that? If Twilight had to deal with Nightmare Moon (which may or may not occurred yet in this timeline) did she have to do it with a different set of friends or just use less of them but each had to personify more elements? For instance Twilight could have gone with just Pinkie and maybe AJ (if she was feeling up to it) and each of them would have to show off several elements and then wield them to save Nightmare Moon.

Lots of ways it could have gone or will go.

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and unless I am mistaken, her full name would be Bunny Kicker :twilightoops:

:derpytongue2:

Scumbag Rarity
Is a magical unicorn who can levitate dozens of items at once in coordination
Makes the pegasi who can't levitate stuff change the diaper

But seriously, I'm really curious about Derpy and her husband, Cloud's parents, and who the Captain of the Guard is. Not to mention the timeline we're talking about. Rarity and AJ having had enough time to marry, divorce, and spend additional time after that makes me think we must be past Nightmare Moon's return (unless they married very young), and as was commented, everyone seemed awfully more okay than they would be if Eternal Night is in effect. I have a mildly hard time buying anyone else as the Bearer of Magic (sorry, Lunaverse), so I'm guessing Twilight must be running around with an almost completely different set of friends.

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