• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Tom Ink


Hi, i'm French. I write pony stories. Crazy job, huh?

T

The Lunar Guard and the Celestial Guard. Two opposites armies. Two (almost) former enemies.
Midnight Storm, batpony and Luna's guard.
Golden Sun, Celestia's guard.
When night meets day, love is in the air.

A Cheesy love story. You've been warned.
Cover by Equestria-Prevails.
Edited by Vivid Syntax.

Featured the 27/04! (i got a picture and all)

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 125 )

You have my interest.

Really looking forward to, how it continues.

In the description, you misspelled the word "Enemies".

... How the fuck did we get pretty much the exact same idea, with the exact same title? :rainbowlaugh:

I prefer the mlpfictions.com version :)
will you do a side story for the chapter 8 :)

Well done I would like to see this continued

I know you've finished this story on another site, but please , you can finish posting here

I like the story so far :-)

6804556
When you say "finished story on another site", do you mean the french version
on mlpfictions.com or is there already an english version?
Because Je ne parle pas français ^^

Cute chapter, they already seem to get along pretty well

spline

Splint

“The loser say thanks,” Midnight cut him off again.

says

“We rarely mix with the others ponies and we need time to learn what our special talent is.

other ponies

The word felt heavy in our mouth, and she felt her throat starting to tighten, but she did her best to keep her voice strong.

her mouth

*steeples fingers*
Continue...

“Hey, where am I? THis isn’t my room, what the–“ She calmed down after turning her head to the left and noticing the presence of a Pegasus.

This

Turning her head, she saw Golden’s white wing on her back, protecting the spline that tightly held her injured wing against her body.

I said it before; I'll say it again: the word you're thinking of is splint.

Golden reached a hoof out and blushed a bit while stroking her back, then the base of the wing, while the batponey sighed contently, feeling Golden’s hoof massaging her sore back.

batpony

“Hey, I wasn’t crying, I was just thinking of the hundred bucks you owe me. I thought I’d never see them!”

Unless we're talking kicks in the face, I think you mean bits.

“What a bunch of crybabies,” spat one of them. Midnight frowned but avoid answering, not wanting to create a scene in her company.

avoided

"Later on, Midnight found herself in front of Moon Dancer's door.

Doesn't need the opening quotation mark.

"Later on, Midnight found herself in front of Moon Dancer's door. "You asked for me, captain?" she asked as she stuck her head inside. Starry Eyes stood next to Moon Dancer, as serious as usual

“You asked for me, captain?” Midnight asked, passing a head through the office of Moon Dancer, where Starry Eyes stood too, as serious as usual.

One of those paragraphs needs to go.

“You also know that, during the exile, we were ostracized, marginalized, even sidelined in Equestria, every day facing the insults and the batponies hunts led not only by the guards and Celestia but also by the citizens,” Moon continued.

batpony
Also, there is an extra space between facing and the.

“Starry, I know what you think, but under these circumstances, I can’t punish her. I’m sure she understand now,” Moon calmly explained.

understands

Just after he got in the door, he saw his friend with a smile showing his genuinely joy from being reunited again, safe and sound.

genuine

I saw that she stared to me when I was trying to sleep but…”

at

From the bathroom, White shouted: “Just answer to the question: do you like her?”

Doesn't need the to.

Sorry about all this, but once I started I just couldn't stop. If you want me to shut up, I can do that.
(On the other hand, if you want an editor, I'm free.)
(Pay no mind to me, I'm just a Grammar Nazi... I really do like your story. Really.)

Just a hint; may want to tone back the hostilities. If the 'cold war' ever reached luna or celestia's ears, I doubt they'd be pleased. The point was to integrate Luna back into society, but the guard's separation seems to be contrary to that.

You silly guards. The night guard is going to make Luna feel even worse when she finds out, and Celestia will bring forth disappointment like nothing the royal guard has even seen. Worse than anything their parents could ever show. (If she doesn't get angry....)

And with that attitude, there won't be true peace between the guard you fucking idiotic backward fools!

While the concept is great and the writing is decent enough...The whole seperation of the guard and races for what seem to amount to 5 years is a bit much and shouldn't have worked at all...So...Imma be gone. There is also the threat of windigoes that needed to be considered when you are in the setting like Equestria.

It's nice to see a simple romance.

But... but... I only just started to read this story, and I'm already at the (for the time being) last chapter? :fluttercry:
A nice, relatively simple romance. No world ending situations so far, just a story of two souls from when they met onwards.

Though the reasoning of the other bat guards are pretty bullshit I would say. Oh well, some can't help it.

Definitely looking forward to more though :twilightsmile:

Now I can't be the only one getting a Romeo and Juliet vibe from this fic can I? :raritywink: The hole "you are forbidden from taking with the enimey" thing not bring it up? I just hope it does not have a simmer ending with Romeo and Juliet.

"Good work dude, and keep on going on!" :twilightsmile:

Two (almost) former ennemies.

Cringed a bit at that typo. I don't usually cringe at typos.

I haven't read this yet, but, from the description, the premise sounds an awful lot like The Golden Armor. But I liked that story, and this does sound interesting, so I shall read it.

There were a couple grammar errors, but the story is really good so far.

7309894
It seemed similar to me as well when I started reading. The major difference I've seen is that the cultural/stigma between the two races is the primary obstacle, instead of a semi-minor one.

Well, that love part was quite quick. Then again, everyone works differently, so you can never really say when it's too early to say those words.
A lovely chapter though. Very calm, and sweet.

But that ending. Bad tidings.
This won't be pretty.

Or Midnight can just talk to Luna about the reason for that rivalry.
M: Princess, a question, if I may?
L: Go ahead.
M: Permission to get to know, or potentially get together, with one of the Day Guard?

That'd be an amusing conversation :rainbowlaugh:
Also Midnight would have it on the highest authority that she's not doing anything traitorous and that everyone is just a bunch of idiots with a complex.

I'm waiting for this all to get out of hand and come to the attention of the Princesses. :trixieshiftleft: Heck, can you imagine what Cadence world have to say about it?:trollestia:

Clickety clank, he's goin' for that flank?

Looks like they're going to be in a good mood in the next chapter... :raritywink::twilightblush:

Very good! Lining Looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:

That author's note :rainbowlaugh:
So, Midnight, when will you become a smart pony and talk to Luna about this? She did tell you to talk to her about any concerns (or something along those lines, if I remember correctly). It's the guard itself that has these stupid rules, not the princesses.

surely the princesses can understand our odd if they talk to each other?:fluttercry:

I don't really get this whole idea of these two groups of guards being loyal to only ONE of the princesses. As a Royal Guard, one would think that they'd dedicate themselves to protecting ALL the princesses, not just saying "I'll protect this one, and fuck all the others!"

Shortly after, the hydra caught up to them and managed to bite Midnight’s wings.

Worst. Tell. Ever.

7672916 Next month, i promise!

This story is very good, will we see an update soon?

7835366 Yes! Before the end of the month.

If Midnight Storm and Golden Sun were voiced, what would they sound like?

Cheesy, fluffy love story? That's just what I feel like right now :twilightsheepish:

So Celestia's Guard will infect Midnight with his hatred of Batponies by saving her life? Bwuh? What is this...I don't even....do you even hear yourself talk Starry???

Also, in terms of the Captain, he is STILL being dumb. Here is the PERFECT chance to repair relations between Day & Night Ponies, and he's treating it like an Unofficial Crime! Ugh.

Dan

7995224
Benedict Cumberbatch and Kikuko Inoue

Damn. I am on the edge of the seat and you're going to make me wait like that?? T_T

Almost sickeningly sweet. And I loved it :pinkiehappy:

So, no eloping just yet?
I really wonder what will happen if they'll get busted. Well... not if, but when. Even better if they bring it to Luna and she'd be something along the lines of "meh, I don't have a problem with it as I never made a rule against it in the first place" :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, great to see an update to this :twilightsmile:

So no one tells the Princesses, just assumes they know what they want, huh? So much assuming....seems like the guards are all donkeys. Who knew?

Does Celestia or luna know about this entire "enemy" thing?

This entire idea of the solar and lunar guard being enemies on account of an event that occured a millenium prior seems rediculous. Celestia and Luna certainly wouldn't approve.

If Tia can forgive her sister, why should the guards hold onto this petty-ass grudge?

Hia! I'm Midnight Storm! Do... do I know you? heh, just a coincidence but still now I have to read this.

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