Divergence
"Do you ever stop and wonder," Spike said, lowering his Power Ponies comic for a moment, "if there's other worlds out there like ours?"
Scootaloo glanced up from Three-Tribe Spells: A Theoretical Treatise on Channeling Cutie Mark Magic and back at the dragon sprawled out alongside her on the park bench. "Uhn?"
"Like. You know." One of Spike's claws lifted from the comic book and made a vague gesture in the air. "Parallel universes."
She rolled her eyes and flipped a page with one wing. "Like, in one version of reality we're all really the Power Ponies? That sort of thing?"
"Sort of," Spike said. "More like, what if they were us?"
"What's the difference?"
"Well, the Power Ponies are fiction. But we're not, and we go out and have adventures and save the world." Spike sat up straight. "Here's the thing. It seems so strange the way everything worked out for us, doesn't it? Sunset moving to Ponyville the very same day that all of us teamed up to fight off the Chocolate Moose. The way that we taught her the lessons she needed to learn to unlock the Elements and save Princess Luna. How would that have changed if any of us had been different? Like, what if you were Loyalty, like Zapp being a pegasus, and I was just the sidekick, like Humdrum being a dragon?"
Scootaloo shook her head without looking up from her reading. "Don't be silly. I didn't even have my Cutie Mark when we came into town." She pointed a wingtip to the star on her flank. "Dragons get their powers much faster than ponies. You were old enough to help, and I wasn't. Hay, I don't even know if I'm old enough to help now. I mean, my entire Mark is about chasing things beyond my reach."
Spike looked away. "Maybe not you you, then. The point is, doesn't it feel weird that I'm one of the Elements of Harmony?"
Scootaloo stopped, then closed her book, turning around to give the dragon a hug. "Oh, Spike. Don't you ever doubt yourself. Every day, just by living in pony society, you're being loyal to your friends. How could a pony beat that?"
Spike sighed, but put one arm around her shoulders. "I appreciate you saying that. It's just … I'm so different from the others. Doesn't it ever feel to you like this wasn't the way it was supposed to work out? Like …" He laughed self-consciously. "Like our universe is wrong somehow."
"Nonsense," Scootaloo said firmly. "Your difference is a source of strength, remember? Remember when Applejack needed to get rid of her old barn, and you set it on fire for her? How would a pegasus have been able to handle that? Or what about the time when Zecora came into town, and everypony was scared of her, and you marched right out because you already knew that what someone looks like doesn't determine who they are? That doesn't sound 'wrong' to me. That sounds like you stopped us from being 'wrong.'"
"Heh, yeah," Spike said. "I guess you're right."
"Of course I'm right. What about when the six of you defeated Discord? The others wouldn't have had a chance without you, because you had no Cutie Mark for him to corrupt, and were able to get the others back to normal. Face it, Spike, if the Elements of Harmony weren't exactly who they were meant to be, Equestria would be a smoking ruin right now."
Spike glanced down, letting a bashful smile creep back onto his muzzle, then turned to face Scootaloo a little more squarely, hugging her with both arms. "Thanks, Scootaloo. I think I needed to hear that."
"Any time, Spike." She returned the hug fiercely, then froze and glanced around. "Oh, heck! Speaking of the time —"
Spike's eyes widened, and he jumped up off the bench, glancing around the Canterlot streets. "The wedding! We've gotta get to the castle!"
Easy laughter came from behind them as Sunset trotted up. "Calm down, you two. Everything's under control."
"But we're helping Princess Celestia herself out!" Spike said, fiddling with his claws. "If everything's not perfect —"
Sunset curled her neck to Spike's, then sat down. "It'll be fine — we're basically there as backup for the entire Royal Guard. They don't even need us until the ceremony starts. Honestly, I think Celestia just asked us to be there as an excuse to let us meet Cadance in person."
Scootaloo gasped, eyes lighting up. "You met her? What's she like?"
"A little rude, actually," Sunset said, then shrugged. "But she's got a lot on her mind. I'm sure it's just stress."
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I'm going to do the traditional "reserve the first comment for extended author's notes" thing, though right now I don't have much to say, as I'm submitting this on my way out the door to a camping trip. When I return I'll respond to comments, and link this to a list of the other Switcheroo! entrants.
Thanks for reading!
Edit: Here's where you can find the other stories in the competition!
Entry noted!
Best of luck to you!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Whoa. This is a weird alternate universe. It's the subtle differences that really stand out. It's one thing to give the Elements to some different sextet, or extrapolate more drastic changes from a failure to Rainboom. But such a minor shift feels all the more bizarre for how close it comes to the baseline. I think you successfully used the Uncanny Valley of alternate timelines here. Very cool.
Oh, and the story was quite nicely done. I do hope Scootaloo gets a chance to go ballistic again soon. So close, and yet...
So Spike's Loyalty, Sunset's Friendship, Rarity is Laughter, Fluttershy is kindness, who's honesty and generosity?
This is indeed a disturbing universe.
I got a chuckle out of the final line of this story, but I wasn't very fond of the Sonic Rainboom retelling at all.
What makes this story for me is the bit at the end where Scootaloo is self-assuredly explaining that they're living in the best of all possible worlds.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
This was brilliant.
I loved all the subtle differences and not so subtle ones.
A sonic unboom, sunset reconciling with celestia, pinkie being maud, rarity being pinkie.
Scoots being adopted, flutters was amazing, still herself but more confident/in control.
I would love to read more in this verse, or more like this. Subtle shifts of what if done this well are a treat.
...Wait, what was that about a moose?
6219213 (cc: 6219976)
Thank you! I think "uncanny valley" is a great description of what I was going for -- a lighthearted story with a fundamental underlying sense of wrongness that the last scene crystallizes into fridge-logic tragedy -- so I'm glad that that carried through.
6219275
Yup! Applejack remains Honesty, as her scene in the first chapter hopefully signaled, and Pinkie Pie is Generosity.
I do regret that I didn't have more opportunity to develop the characters within the context of the episode I retold. Like with the show, having a cool ensemble cast means that it takes a lot more time to develop each of them. For instance, I never got to play around with the fact that Rarity and Pinkie Pie both have the same cutie mark (a single rock), or the contrasts in their characters. Redoing the sleepover episode with them could be fun.
6220019
If it's any consolation, I also thought Chapter 2 was the weakest of the three, for similar reasons to what you mentioned in your review, and you also raise a very good point about the ensemble cast. As above, I think some of that could be fixed by retelling a few other episodes and actually giving each of the characters their proper face time, but yeah, the "retell an episode" structure is tough to make work!
6220639
Well, for Scootaloo, it is! I mean, she's got a Cutie Mark, a big sister/mentor to live with, a cool older pegasus friend to idolize, an impending royal wedding to watch ... really, her world is going to be perfect.
6221075
Glad you enjoyed it! All of the things you mention were great fun to write, even if they were the limit of what the story would gracefully hold. As noted above, there's plenty more ideas that the framework of the competition didn't give me the room to expand.
6222679
Well, you know how it is. Bugbears and cragadiles and ursas have been done to death.
A Møusse ønce bit my sister, yøu knøw ...
6222699
We apologize to the readers. The author responsible has been sacked.
6222699 Was it a cross-eyed moose? If you cross paths with a cross-eyed moose, you and your un-crossing friends will be cursed. It's science!
6222692
The only question remaining is whether this version of Equestria is totally hosed by Chrysalis or if they hit upon some sort of unique and brilliant friendship solution that they will also presume in hindsight was the only way out.
I've read a ton of alt-universe fics with different bearers of the elements. What I really like here is your brevity. So many authors have a cool idea about an alternate mane 6, but they still write a long intro story involving 6 ponies going into the Everfree Forest from Ponyville and encountering various obstacles before they defeat Nightmare Moon in a pretty similar fashion to the original version. You trusted us readers to infer that background and skipped over directly to a fun slice-of-life episode that lets us focus more on their character, without the lengthy exposition that us usually added in.
That said, one detail knaws at me: Who did Spike imprint on? I would have guessed Sunset, because she is the one in Canterlot at the time, but clearly she was talking with Celestia elsewhere instead. My guess is Shining Armor, from the context that it sounded like the ponies around Spike when he hatched were wearing armor, and that would give the Mane 6 in this story a good tie in to discovering Chrysalis. So then how did Spike happen to be in Ponyville at the right time?
So... who, exactly, raised Spike? The circumstance of his hatching makes it look like he wasn't there at Twilight's entry exam. Does Twilight even exist, or has she gone the way of The Dash?
This is excellent!
Very well written, I must say. Good job!
6223001
That, I think, is best left as a "Lady or the Tiger?"-esque exercise for the reader.
6224497
Thank you! The blessing and curse of the contest format was that it forced that brevity, as I was trying to write just enough context to make the character shuffles in the slice-of-life portion make sense. In hindsight, maybe this wasn't the best episode, or maybe I should have (had the contest been a little more flexible) included a second episode, only because I wasn't able to give great screen time to a lot of the ensemble cast that deserved just as much attention. If I wrote another, it would probably be "Look Before You Sleep" with Rarity and Pinkie Pie, so I could really dig into the interplay there, as well as the wide divergence of their identical cutie marks. (Rarity's single rock from her unboom encounter, and Pinkie's single pebble from hers.)
As for Spike:
6224831
Twilight Sparkle does exist in Dashless-world ... however, without the Rainboom spurring her to magic-surge, she choked in her school entrance exam and never hatched her dragon egg. (Twilight being Twilight, she probably aced the written and got into the School for Gifted Unicorns anyway, but in between her lack of surge and Celestia's reconciliation with Sunset, Twilight would never have come to Celestia's attention, and basically would have become Moondancer 2: The Moondancening.)
So there's a teeeeny bit of bait-and-switch here: the Spike in my story didn't come from the same egg as the Spike in canon.
You're right to observe that the ponies who he imprinted upon were wearing armor. I haven't quite decided whether they're Guard members investigating an absent dragon's cave in the Everfree, or whether they're actual dragonslayers, but either way, the Unboom made the hatchling leave his egg and imprint on them in the narrow window before his other parent returned and the ponies fled the cave. (Feel free to assume that in canon, this 'verse's Spike grew up to become one of the dragon delinquents in "Dragon Quest," who by strange happenstance has the exact same name.
And why didn't the Rainboom awaken that hatchling? Because it happened in the daytime instead of later that night, so the egg would have been underneath a dragon at Rainboom time.)
As for who Spike imprinted on, the answer is: those two armored ponies, who raised him as his dam and sire. I won't rule out Shining Armor, though I haven't really decided; right now they're just question marks, and if I write more in this continuity I reserve the right to pull a BBBFF moment out of my butt and decide his pony-parents were canon characters all along.
6225301
Thank you for reading and enjoying!
...
Pinkie is Maud.
...
I favorited this so hard I broke a nail
Yeah, I don't think "curled her neck" really works as a phrase. :B
6237728
It's a thing, I swear! We've repeatedly seen pones neckhugging in the show, though admittedly it happened more often in the Faust days before they super-anthropomorphized everyone.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121003222946/mlp/images/thumb/9/98/Twilight_Celestia_Hugs_S1E02.png/640px-Twilight_Celestia_Hugs_S1E02.png
6237751
Yeah, but... Like, even calling it a "neck-hug" would work. That comes off as a pet phrase more than anything. :B I'd just go with "rested her neck against his", but that's just me.
That is a fascinating premise, more so by the fact that unlike a lot (but not all) of these stories, you have not just shaken up the personalities of the Mane Six - Spike as (I presume) Loyalty ios a nice touch as well! Sunset was a nice addition to. (I think it's also quite a rarity (no pun intended) to see one without Twilight as well.)
If you ever choose to write anymore in the continuity, I would definitely be interested in it.
(And one guesses that this universe's Twilight isn't doing so bad if she got into the school since she does have some actual friends and probably is much closer with Moondancer!)
6241779
Thank you! Spike as Loyalty started out as a stupid joke reference to Spike being the "substitute Dash" in that Discord episode, until I realized that a nonpony actually would embody Loyalty in a direct and unusual way, and decided to play it straight. And yes, I'd like to think Twilight did alright for herself.
Wow that was sad.
Eh. Kind of half-baked.
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQSqPM3TSg7Qpph3uzoZMrL20LJ0EZaBDWP4OwaYZVSCveD09SR7w
6258113
Not really my best, but I hope you still found something to appreciate.
6260453
I smiled at a couple of moments, and there were good idea. I was just being facetious.
6260453
I smiled at a couple of moments, and there were good idea. I was just being facetious.
Wow... Where do I begin? I don't mean that to sound bad. Because, I really think this had a lot of creativity and a lot of imagination. This was so very unique and so very interesting. And I'm kind of sad we didn't have more.
One of the things I did like was the characters in the Cutie Mark Chronicles reactions to everything and how it differed from what we've seen and how it changed their entire lives. That took a lot of thought and I really like what you did... particularly with Rarity and Pinkie Pie. That was pretty unique. The stuff with Sunset Shimmer was also really interesting and I loved how you tied it in with Twilight's test, even if she didn't show up.
The one thing I do question is, why is Spike there? And is Scootaloo now a unicorn?
Kind of weird, but alternate universe. I'll let it slide.
I liked the Sonic Rainboom thing... but not as much as I liked the first bit. It started out really funny and kind of clever with the "Shh" competition. Which is really brilliant. But then, I don't know it feels like it lost track of itself. Like it wanted to be two episodes and try to split the focus instead of just focusing on one particular thing and see how that affects it. I think if this story had either focused on the Sonic Rainboom without delving into the Cutie Mark Chronicles, or just focusing on the Cutie Mark Chronicles, I think that would have been much tighter. However, the ending of chapter 2 was rather heartwarming and it fit in with everything rather well.
The last chapter... I question why it's there. I know it's to explain that all possibilities are possible, but ... Is it really needed? It's already an alternate universe story. I feel like there really isn't a point to it except to pad it.
Anyway, an enjoyable read. I'm glad I read it. Thank you for letting me review it and I hope to hear more from you in the future. Until then. Take care.
6267668
Thanks for the reactions, and glad you liked it!
To answer your last question, the point of chapter 3 was the stinger line at the end — implying that Sunset being there instead of Twilight meant that nopony recognized Chrysalis until it was too late. The discussion of alternate realities was just a wind-up to that, especially Scootaloo's ironic line about any Equestria whose history wasn't "correct" ending up a smoking ruin.
6268123 Hm... Very interesting... I think that could have made a great story by itself.
Interesting take on things, as usual. Really loved the "unboom" concept! However, I think the set up in the last chapter, while warm and feel good in what it said, was... well, Spike just outright asking about other timelines just felt a bit lazy. I like where it went, but that level of meta just kinda breaks the immersion. Still a great read overall, but what's a comment if I can't point to at least one thing to be improved, eh?
6272596
There was a point to it; see spoilered comment above. Still, thanks for reading, and glad you enjoyed!
This should have a sequel. Like, seriously. It needs one.
6326079
First of all, thank you for reading! I'm glad the story left such an impact.
Unfortunately, I've got so much else on my plate that — as much fun as it was to play around with the ideas here — I honestly can't see myself returning to this. If you've got vivid ideas of what else would happen in this continuity, please feel free to carry it on yourself … I'd love to see what comes of it!
6329350 That's too bad. And though I'd love to take you up on the offer, I have six unsubmitted stories and a YouTube channel to keep up, so I can't. Not in the immediate future, anyway.
6268123 I'll ignore this and have my headcanon being that Scootaloo or Spike saves the day at the wedding, though the real question is who Cadance's groom would be, assuming Shiny only met her post-Sonic Rainboom as she was fillysitting Twilight.
Spike being Loyalty makes a wicked amount of sense, and I can see him being the pivotal point to defeating Discord using the Cutie Mark logic.
The one thing that I do note as being an oddity is the implication Sunset brought Scootaloo along with her to Ponyville. I know Scootaorphan is pretty common, but the way you have it set up she would have come from Canterlot, instead of living in Ponyville to begin with. A rather neat Cutie Mark for her, though.
6341907
Thank you for the commentary, and kudos to you for your comment policy!
As to Scootaloo: is there any canon indication that she's a Ponyville native? I don't think the show has ever said one way or the other. Though that's one of the elements that I really handwaved in order to tell the story I wanted to tell; her life was going to be fairly heavily affected by Dash's absence, so on a meta level, her central role was chosen somewhat arbitrarily.
There's a credible argument to be made that your position is supported by the text. After all, the irony here comes from Scootaloo's statement that Equestria would be in ruins if the Elements weren't who they were meant to be. However, she then goes on to cite several problems that their Elements solved more easily than the "actual" Elements ... in other words, her argument relies on the idea that six ponies fighting Discord would necessarily have lost.
That established, who's to say that six strangers fighting Chrysalis are doomed?
At any rate, glad you enjoyed it!
6344768 I really wish FimFiction had a comments history log. I've easily left hundreds of comments in the last month alone, but don't personally keep track of the ones I have left...
Nothing specifically states Scootaloo was native to Ponyville. It's more a matter of narrative inertia to me in that she was living in Ponyville somehow in canon, whether that's a Scootaorphan who somehow hopped to Ponyville or whose parents lived there, or has at least one living parent living near Ponyville.
6344807
You might want to make a bookshelf listing all stories you've read, since by definition that's all the ones you've commented on. You'd have to do some work reassembling that list but it could help you in the future.
Any favorites among your reading list so far?
Definitely among the best of the "the rainboom didn't happen because X happened instead" stories I've read. The bit I enjoyed most was a small thing, the subversion of expectations during the Cloudsdale scene, though I'm always pleased to see pony Sunset Shimmer around the place. I was confused initially as my e-reader couldn't cope with the upside-down text, but that was a minor problem. The ending was nice, too.
6369577
Thank you!
You can has review!
This is good, but I wish it were expanded on. I did like how you didn't rehash the pilot episode like almost every other alternate version of the M6. However, I'd like to know more about the changeling invasion and beyond. Also, where is Twilight in this universe?
6637206
Thanks for reading and enjoying!
Unfortunately, while I had fun writing this, with the number of projects on my plate I can't see myself returning to it. You're certainly welcome to tell more of this continuity's stories if the idea fires your muse up!
As to your question about further adventures: 6268123 has my original idea of what the story implied for this universe's future, but as other comments here note, the text-as-written is also compatible with the idea that they were positioned well to weather challenges such as the changeling invasion. 6231977 discusses Twilight.
...Well, I really liked this story, though I'm afraid that my thoughts have been mostly expressed already by other readers.
While I prefer longer stories in general, I'm very happy that this AU fic didn't try to retrace every step of every episode like so many others. Spike's origin was just kind of baffling. Pink as Maud isn't very "realistic," but I was never a fan of Pinkie's personality anyway, so it's all good. Rarity as Pinkie was even less realistic and more tragic, but it gives the middle hoof to Destiny, so I'm fine with that as well.
Spike as an EoH makes perfect sense, and it's about time Fluttershy experienced some actual character growth. I also enjoy Sunset Shimmer as a character so much when she isn't a Bratz doll. (The ease with which Celestia is able to repair their relationship in this timeline kind of reflects poorly on her other universe self; Celestia seems to have a nasty habit of writing off ponies who don't conform to her expectations, such as Sunset and Star Swirl. Perhaps Twilight's paranoia about her mentor was born of more than simple neuroticism.) Ignoring Twilight completely also made me happy; I enjoy her so much more when she isn't the Chosen One.
Basically, this AU is jam-packed with interesting ideas, and while I agree with other commenters that certain aspects of it need to be fleshed out a bit more (the middle chapter especially feeling a bit clumsy), I think it's definitely one of the best "What if?" short stories I've read in the fandom. In fact, I think the only major bit of consternation I had with the story was when I saw how you interpreted your own ending.
Generally, I think there are two themes or morals that "X is different" stories like this tend towards. The first is that, without everything being Just So, the world basically falls into ruins. I tend to think of this as a Destiny-centric view. Surely Destiny must have made everything happen as it did, because if things had veered even a little to the right or to the left, the world would be in ruins. (Personally, I've always been partial to the idea that Celestia herself is at the wheel, puppet-mastering everypony into position, but that's neither here nor there.)
The second is that even if things had been radically different, everything still would have worked out in the end, because some greater force than Destiny was in control. In this case, even though things arguably turn out worse for Rarity, Twilight, and Pinkie Pie, they seem to work out the same for Applejack and better for Fluttershy, Spike, and Scootaloo. No one discovered the sonic rainboom, but the sonic unboom was discovered instead. Discord wasn't defeated by everypony remembering their friendships, but maybe instead by Spike realizing his own importance and place in Equestria.
You seem to think the "stinger" at the end suggests that everything was going to end in smoke and ruins. Now, I love a good stinger, but that's not how I interpreted the story at all. I assumed, especially in light of Scootaloo and Spike's conversation at the end, that the moral was that even though things were different, everything was still going to work out in the end. That what was important wasn't Destiny or some specific cosmic roll of the die, or even the mane six themselves, but the Friendship and Harmony that held them together. I almost thought of it as a sort of anti-stinger, like, "yeah, there are some tough times ahead, but we've shown that we don't need to be perfect to win out in the end," or something to that effect.
...I'm trying to imagine how you could view the story through the other lense, that without Destiny making everything Just So, it all ends in fire and ruins. That the Equestria utopia balances on the edge of a knife, and all it would take is a single change to hurl it off the edge.
I think that's a fun theme to explore, but I don't feel it's one that really fits with the story as-written, stinger not-withstanding. I guess I'm going to channel a bit of Death of the Author and say I like my interpretation better.
Anyway. Good story. Made me a think. I'd say I hope for more, but I know you have other projects that need attending to. ~ Sable
6669758
Thank you for the extended comment! I basically agree with your assessment of the story (I see the ways in which it's flawed, but this story will remain complete and flawed rather than dragging me back into an edit cycle and reducing time for new material). Moreover, that's a really excellent argument for the alternative ending interpretation and I'm glad to see it expressed so eloquently. Looking at the other comments, you're obviously not the only one (see e.g. the thread of 6344768), and there's nothing in the text which requires doom, so if there's a gentler moral here than the one my authorial brain originally intended, it's good to see it gaining such traction.
While we're on the topic, I'm curious about your reaction to the season finale, which also apparently took a hardline Destiny-centric view. (Or arguably not, if you apply a little fridge logic! After all, in at least six of eight alternate futures, Nightmare Moon was defeated without the Elements; the problem wasn't that Twilight and co. were required to solve any given individual crisis, but that there were so many crises back-to-back that Equestria's resources gave out somewhere along the line.)
Best,
h
I lik the compcetp and excuston of the idea. Well done