• Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
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I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.


Twilight couldn't remember ever having seen Princess Celestia get sick. That simply doesn't happen to alicorns. And yet there she lies, on her bed, delirious. If only she knew how to help.

Lengthened version of the tenth-place finisher in the /fic/ mini write-off "One Little Mistake."

Cover art by Mica Halligan

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Now with a reading!

Thanks to Themaskedferret for feedback on the draft.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

quite the fine story. i approve.

humm if the princesses have a symbiosis with their heavenly bodies... Then sending Luna to the moon wasn't just about banishing Nightmare Moon, but making Luna stronger so Nightmare could be driven out when she returned?

So that's why Discord made the day/night change so quickly, it disrupted the Princesses magic?

First thing I thought when the doctor was confused was "Odinsleep." I wasn't far off.

Headcanon get.

5629558 Yup.

5629594 That's certainly a way you could interpret it. In my head, he didn't try to counter them because he didn't consider them a threat, and alternating day/night wouldn't weaken them, since there'd still be them same span of each in a given day, no matter how fast it switches. The way to weaken both would be constant moonless night. But that particular point doesn't make a difference to the story. It's a justifiable setup, if it makes sense to you.

Cool. Great job. I loved it.:heart:

Oh, cool, this was from the month before I joined the Writeoffs. Good to read a new-to-me story, and I like your headcanon.

5632863 I thought you'd been around longer than that!

This was the worst-finishing of the 4 I wrote for that one, because I had so much fun writing sick Celestia that I didn't have word count left over to make the story mean much. It's still more of a vehicle for headcanon, but that first scene was a blast to write.

Is this why bronies (and myself) believe Luna is awake during the night? Because the moon is "awake?"

5633403 "A Canterlot Wedding" pretty heavily implied that she slept during the day and was on guard during the night.


Oh yeah... I haven't seen much episodes for a while.

Yeah, reading over the original, this breathes much more comfortably as a short story than as a minific. (I have that problem with my own minifics as well. Finding complete stories I can tell in 750 words is always a challenge.)

i don't feel the weight of Luna asking twilight to trust her. A very good short story though.

Did the doctor know? There's not knowing, withholding info, and just being inept.

5630550 Discord was powerful enough to skip right past the most powerful protective spell Celestia could cast around the Elements.

Just one more alicorn wouldn't have made a difference to him. Ponies of any sort were just toys.

Of course, then he got castrated by the time Tirek showed up and now he's kind of a wuss.

They just don't make gods like they used to. Back in my day, gods spoke all things into being and rained fire and brimstone on the cities of nonbelievers! Yep, the good ol days.


So, Celestia and Luna are like Folding@home style distributed computing projects, but with raising the sun and moon. I won't say "new headcanon accepted" just yet, but it does mesh well with the claim that a bunch of unicorns used to do it.

Alright, so here's what I got out of this.

Celestia and Luna both are pure avatars of their own celestial bodies. If one were to overshadow the other, or even be destroyed somehow, then they would either die or be rendered powerless.

Does that mean that each alicorn revealed so far has some special connection withtheir respective element? As long as there is love in the world, does Cadance have power? As well as Twilight's ascension, does that mean, since she's the element of magic, that as long as there's magic in the world, she will continue to live and have power?

Perhaps I'm thinking too much into things. Good story though, I really liked it. :twilightsmile:

Almost TwiLuna shipping... but not quite.
I like it! :twilightsmile:

Great story. I think this fits pretty tightly with the whole journal of the two sisters thing, where it is implied that Luna and Celestia's cutie marks of the sun and moon mean they gain power from raising and lowering their celestial bodies, rather than being horribly drained of them as unicorns are. Pretty sure that's also why they are immortal.

I think you did a good job here of expressing Twilight's distress through the prose; it's very fluid, like thoughts, and it jumps around sporadically, interrupting itself. Different than your usual fic, which is more stable and structured in that regard, but I liked it. :yay:

For some reason I think this means it's the same for Cadance and Mane6. As long as they attuned to their 'thing' (be it love/Crystal Heart or the Elements), they can be sustained indefinitely.

I wrote a review of this story; it can be found here.

Lengthened version of the tenth-place finisher in the /fic/ mini write-off "One Little Mistake."

Where can I read the first place winner, as well as the rest of the entries?

Here. Also, under the "events" tab at the top left, there's an archive of all the write-offs. You can expand each event and click on the "results" link to see how they finished.

She spoke of Celestia getting like this when something prevented the sun from rising, and raising the sun helped her heal... but it also sounds like she couldn't raise the sun because she was sick. It seems like circular logic to me--she couldn't raise the sun because she was ill, but she was ill because she couldn't raise the sun. Did I miss something?

6330586 No, the circular logic is precisely it. So if Celestia can't raise the sun for some reason, she's in a pretty bad situation. Thus she'd always relied on Luna to back her up, but while Luna was banished, she didn't have that failsafe, so she'd have to force herself when she was sick, no matter how bad it got. But now she has Luna again, plus Luna has shown Twilight how to do it. Perhaps even Cadence has learned in the meantime.

Though Celestia is sick just because she's sick, not because the sun isn't up. It didn't cause her illness, but the sun is what she needs to get better.

6330754 That point could have been made clearer. As currently written, one can come to the conclusion that Celestia was sick BECAUSE the sun was down--which makes no sense.

If it makes no sense, doesn't that solve the issue? I mean, if I can think of two possibilities, and one's nonsensical, I go for the other one. Process of elimination would seem to make it obvious.

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