I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
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The Princesses' birthday celebration is here again, and Mayor Mare needs a scapegoat—er, trusted citizen—to handle Ponyville's gift. Certainly, deciding what to get for an ancient ruler who's seen everything will be a piece of cake. Hm, cake. Maybe that's not such a bad idea.
Third-place winner in The Write-Off Association's contest "Lonely Happiness."
Featured on Equestria Daily!
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4057214
It's unpublished as yet... which will be rectified momentarily.
Damn, how do you do it!
4057446
Practice, practice, practice. And knowing which stories to bother trying with...
4057515
Also fantastic story.
Absolutely delightful! It's good to see the ruling bodies of Equestria getting some love.
The only drawback is that they'll keep getting regifted.
But who wouldn't enjoy that?
Congratulations; you've just made my extremely short 'favourites' list.
And most of those are primarily to keep track of stories in progress.
This was a truly magnificent and well written story! What a wonderful reminder to all that the best gifts are truly given from and with the heart.
... Tears. Any loving, considerate leader who sacrifices and slaves selflessly, they wouldn't ask for it, but this is just the thing they want. Sometimes they even need it and no one thinks or bothers to give it to them. Don't need accolades or expensive gifts... just a hug and to hear that everything they do is appreciated.
...Uranium?
I think I need a moment.
That was beautiful...
Great story
It was really sweet
This was a cute story. And the ending was perfect.
4061392 That would be yellowcake, one word. But I wouldn't be surprised if the Princesses ate uranium.
4061392
somepony watched Get Smart
4065594 Get Smart? No, I wasn't referencing anything, I do love that show though.
Positively adorable!
so, I forget the humble beginnings of the fancanon that celestia likes cake. Did it originate with Molly or Trolley?
Also, great story. it was very laughable. keep up the good work.
4071530 It was the episode where the CMC write gossip for the school newspaper and they get a picture of Celestia eating cake
Oh, the problems of structural engineering with food.....
Lovely story! I'm glad that Present Perfect recommended it! It felt a TINY bit wordy for being an uplifting Pinkie Pie slice of life story, but not at all enough to deter from reading.
I'm not generally the kind of person to link to my own stories in the comments of others, not usually, but this is kind of a funny coincidence. As soon as I read the exposition at the opening the story, I knew what Pinkie was going to give them... because I wrote an episode-style comedy of a somewhat similar concept a couple years back. They're very different stories in the end, because mine is lighthearted fun and yours builds up emotional momentum with a joyous payoff! It was just fun to see two people take a similar ending concept and get there through two different series of events, writing styles, and intended emotional impact. Heck, we even both had our stories focus on Pinkie and Twilight as the two main characters!
4071530 4072000 And then her love of cake was reinforced by the ending of MMMystery, at the dessert competition.
This was such a good read.
This was beautiful.
i.imgur.com/nzapftb.png
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!
You certainly need to write Pinkie Pie more often.
And more watchers to appreciate your work too.
That was a great story. Not too long, great buildup, excellent ending. Greenthumbed!
A little love goes a long way.
Man... there's a story that really hits you in the feels. I just love it. Leave it to Pinkie Pie to think of the kind of gift that somepony that already has everything would like.
4064376 well at least celstia, i mean she move a giant nuclear reaction through the sky every day
4848087 Isn't the sun a fusion reaction, not a fission reaction? "Where hydrogen is fused into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees."
Speaking of, there's been much speculation that hydrogen-3, needed for some variants of fusion, is plentiful on the Moon. So Luna doesn't need to be left out.
Luna's return
________________
This bit is redundant. One or the other would suffice / grammatically accurate (since ordered = request (something) to be served, made, or supplied; and prepared = make (something) ready for use or consideration. So using both is litterally saying the same thing twice.)
____________
Tai Chi
[Short for Tai Chi Chuan [the martial arts Water Bending is based off of. Taijitsu is "body art" from Naruto.]
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Edit:
Re-read. Loved reading this the second time around, as much as I did the first. It's adorable as it is true.
4848087
4914722
Don't forget, Luna just isn't the moon. She raises every star in the sky. Even those stubborn, fussy Red Giants. Tia on the other hoof just raises a yellow dwarf. Luna's nuclear reactors in the sky are more numerous than her sisters. Tia's is just closer to the planet so it get's more recognition.
5693655
This is a valid structure in which an adjective follows. You see it in Latin, and it's often used in titles, though in English, we often insert "the," as in "Peter the Great."
This is also a valid structure. There's an implied "to be" in between the two. It's like how you can say "ordered the prisoner to be executed" or shorten it to "ordered the prisoner executed."
A Taijitu is a symbol.
5694297
Princess Luna Returned in and of itself is valid. "Year X of Princess Luna Returned" is not proper. Since it's stated like a holiday / event. You are stating that it was X year after the the return of Y. Thus it'd be possessive (Luna's), and return (not returned. Since yes she has returned from the moon, but the proper verb would be return (Since it is after she returned). At least in the structure given.)
And we aren't reading Latin, or even speaking it. This is something for englishreaders, as it's written, it's not written as a title. Rather a national event of so many years after Princess Luna returned from the moon. But it would be labeled, as "X Years of So-and-So's return."
___________
Not the same thing. Since both words literally mean the same thing. With slightly different phrasing on ther own. Both are litterally saying "We have made something to be made / served". So you have "We have made (something) to make (something) that was to create / make / serve you (something) that is maked / created / served for you."
___________
This last one I didn't know about. Thank you for pointing that out.
5694460
It's not just in Latin that this is done, but it serves as a good example, since it's the only way Latin does it. In any case, yes, this is a valid structure, your arguments about "this is an English-speakers' club only" notwithstanding. Take the English phrase "a woman scorned." It's the same construction. I don't get why it's such a sticking point, and it's not wrong. But at this point, if you remain unconvinced, I can't imagine there's any more headway to be made.
If it were redundant, then I could remove either word without changing the meaning. But if I remove "ordered," for example, it says the princesses prepared the food themselves, which isn't the case.
5694503
Because of what's in front of Luna returned. The whole "Year X of" changes the connotation. It flows wrong and reads oddly. Yes it has been so many years after she had "returned", but it's more accurate and reads better of "Year X of Princess Luna's return" since while she had "returned" from the moon, it's been awhile after her "return" from her banishment.
That’s the only thing that bugs me, without the Year of, it wouldn't read half as badly.
As for the English club bit. It's in the sitest rules. Write fics in English. Seriously, how many native English speakers (especially considering canon, as in show canon, where titles use the word "the" in them. Clover the Clever, Starswirl the Bearded, and The Great and Powerful Trixie, to name the most prominent.)
_____________
Not exactly.
If they say ordered. It's accurate since they did order their staff to create X. But since they are in charge of things, technically, by way of mouth, have had others (by extension of decree / what ever oversight they have in the palaces budget) prepare X. It's technically the same thing since it was all created to their specifications for the event.
So yes in some light it can be considered they set it up. It's no more so than any other celebration they get set in motion.
____________
Still adorable fic, and I dId enjoy reading it as much as I did re-reading it. And technically 20 + weeks from now when waiting for my updated fic list to update will probably read again.
5694641 So I just showed you an example of how the construction is also used in English, and you're still going to deny it?
Here's a common phrase of exactly the same "year" type: In the year of our Lord.
It's fine to have a modifier in there. And it's also fine to put the modifier after the noun for artistic purposes:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
"I am Death incarnate."
"Enemy mine."
"My cousin twice removed."
"Bring me my fiddlers three."
Anyway, this story's gone through the grammar checkers at The Royal Guard, Equestria Daily, and The Writeoff Association, and they all thought these were fine.
5694842
It's not the same thin though structurally.
Yes:
"Year of our Lord", ends in a noun. Not "Year Three of our Lord Returned ."
Yes:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", Not "Year of Woman Scorned".
_________
By having year of, it gives the connotation, of her return having just happened, repeatedly. each year. Just as "Year X of Woman Scorned" has the statement that it's a continual event. And your other examples don't fit this context. At all. Yes those are actual sayings. I never said that "Princess Luna returned" in and of itself was wrong. Since Years ago she returned from the moon.
Yet its been years been years since her return. Wich is the grammaticaly accurate use. If you are goong to state that it's been a year or even years of the moment in which she returned. It's not accurate to state that it's year of X returned. It's not the correct ending.
Yes we have "In the year of our Lord", we do not have "Year 2015 Of our Lord Died", we have " Year 2015 after our Lord's Death." [AD = After Death [translated]]. It's all about how you use the word that gives it context. Returned, has an immediate usage "(We, I)have returned" is an immediate usage of return. "It's been so many years since your return," gives an effect that it happened in the past. Or in other context, "She will return someday" a past one.
But by stating a past or future use (you either will come back, or have already come back at an earlier point in time) . Return fits. Returned, is a present use of return
(since you have left, and have just arrived. You have returned from where you came from).
It's literally that simple. It's all about context of the use of the word. And how the words are placed together. Year One of Luna retured, is just as wrong contextually as "Year 2015 of our Lord Died". Both "our Lord Died", and "our Lord's Death" both are accurrate in various context. But The "Year of our Lord Died" contextually means that he died repeatedly once a year 2015 times.
Year X of Luna Returned, contextually is she left each year and returned.
But "Year X of Luna's return", like "After Death", signifies that it's commemorating X years after her return / the years after "she had returned from the moon."
Do you see hpw that bucking changes the connotation of the word at all? And people miss things all the time. I've know fics that have had thousands of people read it, and miss a small error here and there. It happens.
5694994 It is a continuous thing. It's not Xth year since Luna's return. It's the Xth year of Luna's returned status. If I phrased it as "The First Year of the Returned Luna," would you still have a problem with it? Because it's identical, just with the participle moved ahead of the noun. This isn't that difficult. I know my grammar. Ask around if you like. I can recommend some great grammarians who, to my knowledge, have never read the story, so wouldn't already have an opinion. Amacita, Burraku_Pansa, InquisitorM, horizon, Chris, GaryOak. Take your pick.
5695047
And that’s the bucking context. You never, ever state what the "returned" was in reference to, leaving up to the readers assumptions. Bucking hell, this all could be cleared up if you had what exactly you were referring to in the A/N. Since technically, after she returned from the moon, and was re-in stated as a Diarch. Her return from the moon would have been that, her "return".
Celebrating her "returned" status on the other hoof is contextually different. And nowhere in the fic is such a status mentioned. At all, for all we know (since its never mentioned in the show) no such status exists, and after some adjustment, she was considered a normal diarch without any special status attached to her.
Frell, a throw away line stating what such a celebration / occasion was celebrating / observing would clarify what Luna Returned meant would both give context, and clarity to an Event, that to my knowledge only exists in your fic.
Heck in Tia's words on Luna's return.
So yeah, additional reason for your word choice to be considered wierd before you clarifid it just now, since Celestia stated that she was celebrating Luna's return. Rather than any mention of a "returned" status.
5695152 I think the meaning is clear in context, and you are literally the first to have expressed any confusion about it despite dozens of people who are in the very business of reviewing stories having put it through the ringer. I'm happy to leave it as is.
5695180
*shrugs* meh.
Still other than wasting hours over something stupid, that could have been clarified 3 hrs ago. Doesn't change it's still an enjoyable fic. So yeah, whatever. Have a good evening.
5695180
Anyway this was bugging me so I'm just goin to say it.
Just because numerous people read something doesn't mean that errors don't exist. Icewindale Saga is a perfect example. In hundreds of pages there are exactly two spelling errors (actual ones, as in the words are mispelled). My copy's in storage, but I know there are tons of books out there that have the occassional rare errors.
The point being, those books had editors, and tons of people comb through it before publishing, and it still happens. Then you have the fact that either nooes pointed it out, nor cares to do so. So saying that you have tons of readers / editors going over somehing doesn't mean perfection. Since even in professionally published works you occassionally get errors, or stuff noone really cared to point out.
Anyways. That's off my chest, have a good rest of your evening, and I appologise for anything that might have came across as hostility.
That was beautiful. And quite useful in keeping my eyes properly clean and lubricated.
I reviewed this story in "Recommended Story Reviews #7".
My review can be found here.
OMIGOD, SO CUUUUTE!
FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE TILL THE COWS COME HOME!!!!
This story is so cute and fluffy and... and.. extra fluffy!
Story is sweet as cake
Very sweet, and it got dear Pinkie down in the best possible way.
This was touching.