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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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well that shows how screwed up in the head she is now. Still at least all she wants is his hugs.
It would have been nice if Spike and Pinkie did something to help. Spike could have breathed fire on someone. Maybe they're not as reliable to Twilight as she thinks. Pinkie's worn Rarity's Earth pony hobbles and her earring matches those who are against Twi. And Rarity gave Spike that big old kiss on the mouth, maybe she bit inside his lips or something.
The idea that one of the Elements of Harmony isn't credible, especially when she was last seen traveling with a Princess who is now out of contact is hard to believe.
This is the first mind-fuck for me in the whole story.. I just can't even..
So I'm assuming this is prior toRainbow RocksIf I understood thatmoviecorrectly.Nevermind. Silly me and continuity. I understand.
I still don't know who's views to trust, or what to believe about what's been seen. But I think I'm still rooting for
5525656
I don't think Spike has ever engaged in combat so that doesn't seem strange to me. Certainly him breathing fire would do nothing against Shining Armor's shield.
This is one of those areas where everypony expects Twilight to have all the answers, so it's up to her to figure out the gridiron diagrams.
As for Rainbow Dash: It's reasonably clear to me that she is still on the cusp of infamy among regular ponies, but Celestia's magic to keep her from being too famous likely still applies given that the Rainbow Power was never unleashed in this alternate timeline. The only ponies who will know who she is are fans of flying tricks. Apart from that, she's easily the least convincing public speaker of the Mane 6. Evidence is below...
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/102505.png
5525701
Yes. Rainbow Rocks has not happened in this timeline, though it has not yet been made clear whether or not it should have (timewise). In the alpha, Rainbow Rocks happened after Twilight's castle, which came from Rainbow Power, which hasn't been unleashed in this timeline.
But of course, everypony should be rooting for !
But... which ?
5525703
But Shining dropped his shield at one point.
Rainbow Dash was Equestria's best young flier, has been awarded a medal by Celestia herself, performed Sonic Rainbooms at Princess Cadence's wedding and was standing on the podium with the Princesses when Twilight was coronated. Any military or government pony should know her and as for regular ponies, they should have to actively avoid looking into any government function to not be familiar with her. Granted they may not know that Rainbow Dash plans to be the next great Wonderbolt, they should maybe assume she's a servant of the crown. But they should know that she is connected to Equestrian Royalty.
5525778
True. But he was already incapacitated, and Twilight's orders were to get to Celestia.
I'm not saying you don't have a point: Fluttershy was in all likelihood exaggerating. However, Princess Celestia did things to protect the Mane 6 from fame for quite some time. Nopony knew any of the Mane 6 even though they were Saviors of Equestria (and Elements of Harmony) after the first two episodes, and I've always presumed that was due to Celestia's machinations so they could live normal lives and prove themselves without fame preceding them. Even at the end of S4 I would think some but not most of the Royal Day Guard would recognize Rainbow Dash, but still not common citizens. The Rainboom is amazing, but it's kind of like fireworks in that it would only put her name on the map to competitive flyers; most of Canterlot is unicorn nobility. As of S5, with the Mane 6 elevated to near-Princess statuses I think fame would at that point be unavoidable.
5525778
It'd be her word against that of Princess Cadance and Prince as well as former Captain of the Royal Guard Shining Armor. Whom do you think military ponies will trust more?
5525839
Well, I think garfan's point is that it would be Dash's word against nopony else, since they wouldn't be there to argue back. At the very least you think she'd be able to get a message directly to Princess Celestia or Luna.
...except that Fluttershy said it would be too late to get something to either Princess. Which, again, could be nothing but talk.
And to be honest, I'm surprised nopony has commented on the super-obvious shenanigans in this chapter. Probably because they're too super-obvious.
5525865
Well, she can't tell anypony what's happening without mentioning who's responsible, eh?^^
"Quick, you have to help! Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor turned into rapist mind thieves who cut off their horns to shove it into their butts and wear evil earrings that turn cripplingly shy pegasi into vampony sexpots who bite other ponies to infect them with the rapies! ... What do you mean by 'delusions'? I only flew through a teenie little Crystal Blizzard! No I don't need a doctor, dammit, I need to go see the princesses about their incestuous pony-dom newphew-in-law, what's so hard to understand about that?!"
As for the chapter itself: I. Love it! It's so nice to see Twilight have a proper geekout, and the ideas, explanations and descriptions were such a treat to read! So enjoyable, so inspiring! This story is one of those that makes me want to kick myself for not starting with all the little ideas rattling around in my skull. It wouldn't be quite as good, but it'd be even worse to let all this motivation go to waste!
Now, onto some details. I think there was more to Applejack staying behind than a noble sacrifice. Shining Armor saw she was close to breaking, probably due to some reaction to his 'heel, bitches' command. Perhaps she wasn't consciously aware of it, but Applejack was already losing herself. The vivid imagery she used to threaten Twilight speaks of what was going through her mind. I believe the part of her that simply wanted to be caught won out in the end.
And Twilight is losing herself as well. Only a matter of time now. Especially if she doesn't think about checking herself for more bites.
How the heck did Cadance contact those guards? Do they share some kind of hivemind? Actually, that wouldn't be as surprising as it sounds. I still don't trust the vampony explanation. Yes, the victims grow fangs and are infective, after a fashion. But other than that? They don't poof to dust in daylight, they don't appear to need blood to survive as far as we can see, they don't appear to be undead... Yes, Fluttershy's eyes glowed red. Very unsettling, by the way. But there's another creature who looks like a pony and has fangs: Changelings. Couldn't it be that this intense need to submit and f*ck is a mutation/variation of the Changeling urge to feed on love? Perhaps this slavish devotion is a product of a particular type of Changeling subrace, who go for symbiosis rather than parasitism. That could explain why the victims feel such a need to be loved, to be held, to be close. And to submit and belong.
Addendum: Shining Armor also had personal dealings with Changelings in the past. I said it before, but he could've retained some form of taint from his time as Chrysalis' spouse-to-be mindslave.
5525725 the fact that another Twi exists is no reason to assume she has anything to do with this story. It'd be like always assuming the Mirror Universe was the reason a character on Star Trek was acting strange
However if we're talking about AUs it suddenly occurs to me that Cadance knowing about "Torrid Equestria" may be strange since she didn't really feature in that story besides maybe appearing in a couple scenes that showed strange thing happening in Equestria that wouldn't make sense to anyone not in the main plot. So maybe it has something to do with that reality. The corrupted King Sombra being behind it perhaps
also this story has been so stretched out I don't recall if it was explained but why hasn't dragon mail been used to contact Celestia
5525827 we've seen that Equestria has a paparazzi so I think she's be known somewhat
5525839
actually no it wouldn't be, because she's reporting to them first, in the absence of Shining and Cadance. So it's something that would have to be investigated to get Shining and Cadance's word. Or they'd potentially escort her to Celestia to get her orders.
5525865
I assumed she was simply talking about Dash's endurance
5525896 perhaps it's how little anyone but Twilight and Rainbow Dash actually do, how little she actually gets to observe what's going on. For example she doesn't get to watch much of AJ blocking the door, she doesn't know how long she was really unconscious. She could be on a time limit she doesn't know about. Those three days may not be how long it would take to break her but how long it would take to do something to Equestria
Applejack could need to be told to calm down because she didn't expect Dash to slip out and get into a situation where she could fly herself to death.
While I like the sexiness I find myself wishing for an AU where Twilight wins. She blasts Shy and Rarity when they go to Shining and he's so stunned he's vulnerable. Maybe she holds him hostage or threatens to break his horn off. And if that sounds to hardcore for Twilight remember how she would fight Tirek in the canon. Or how she tried to beat Cadance to death when she thought she was Chrysalis. She also fought the discorded versions of her friends somewhat and changelings disguised as them. So smacking around beings with the faces of ponies she loves should totally be something she's willing to do
Or maybe having a more corrupt yet morally rounded Twilight from a different universe take control of Twilight at her weakest and have her take down the spring order with superior corruption and knowledge. Possibly by Capturing Celestia , rewriting her memories so that she thinks she's molestia, Giver her a dick and set her loos upon the morally tainted Equestria. Spring order would be fucked in more ways than one, especially if Twi joined in the futa charge.
The mention of the 'Equestria Girls'-verse and how it fits into the fic's timeline in this chapter got me thinking:
It seems likely, based on the description of this fic as the start of a new 'setting', that Twilight is gonna be corrupted, and Equestria permanently ensnared by the ol' lobotomy-rape-vampires. That being the case, how cool would it be to see how the events of 'Rainbow Rocks' play out when the humane five and Sunset Shimmer summon an enthralled sex-slave Twilight to help them against the Sirens? You could basically do a reversal of this fic, with Twilight cataloging her gleeful infiltration and corruption of the human world, or you could have Sunset Shimmer as the narrator, with all the suspense and paranoia that makes this story so great in a new setting. How would the Sirens fit in? Would Twilight recruit them? Would they become reluctant allies with the non-corrupted? The possibilities are endless.
5526034
Refresher: It has been, assuming that Spike hasn't been compromised or ponynapped.
Details: The Mane 6 couldn't contact her from the Crystal Kingdom because somepony stole all of Twilight's scrolls and Shining Armor removed all of the ones from the public libraries. Twilight was ponynapped before her party returned to get more. Spike left a tiny number of scrolls in the bush for Twilight to find because he didn't want them to be easy to find. Twilight then send Spike a message on one of the scrolls and told him to send a letter to Celestia. Currently she has only one scroll left and she's reserving that for an emergency (she's already written four words across the top but we don't know what they are yet).
5526951
5527548
Er, she had three scrolls, but she sent two of them to Spike. (One was an update after she learned about Rarity's plans in Ponyville.)
another thought, she actually was unconscious for more than three days, missed whatever event and she's just being eased into things now
5527586
I don't think Twilight believes she's been unconscious at all, apart from being drugged over one night at her parents' place (when she'd planned to be asleep anyway).
5527646
she says that Spike and Pinkie nursed her back to consciousness, though
You've mentioned more than one Twilight a couple of time, and reading this it suddenly seems possible she time traveled or broke reality but it'd be strange if a non-fully indoctrinated Twilight was somehow the cause of this, especially given how limited what she'd experienced at that point was. No parental molestation or encounter with Cheerilee yet after all
Hmmm, is Luna doing something to Twilight's dreaming mind?
5527687
Oh, right. I think it was implicit that she regained consciousness later that day. Otherwise Pinkie and Spike would have mentioned it to her (presumably).
5527694 oh, yeah, but I'm saying she know she's was unconscious for part of a day, maybe in reality it was a couple days.
5527699
Mild spoiler alert: Was there another time very recently that Twilight was unconscious (not in the flashback parts)? The strikethroughs in the header of the most recent chapter was what I thought was the "obvious" thing, when combined with the exposition prior to the rewritten portions.
Excellent Pair of chapters - Loved the Geek-out and seems plausible with magic as well - blacking out would probably be an over exertion side effect more than anything else.
Can't wait for the next chapter
5527727 oh okay. That didn't seem like a big deal because she knew she'd fallen asleep. And if it had been longer than she thought it didn't make her go back and strike through any comments she made on only being asleep a short time. I find myself wondering if you've got a big setup for day 50, despite the fact that with a potential screw up in the number of days and Shining mentioning needing three days it wouldn't necessarily be day 50
5528154
Nah, there's nothing special about the day numbering, really. I suppose there might be at 56 (two lunar cycles from timeline divergence) but there isn't a meta-meta-numerological thing going on.
5527558 Hay I bet it would work much better than dark magic
5528511
You mean you prefer dick magic to dark magic. Hmm.
I'm guessing the jury is still out on dark dick magic?
5528519 Now dat just be ova Kill, not dat zat is bad or anyzing.
5419095
Oh, Pterrorgrine! Your bellwether friend has returned, in spades.
...maybe.
The faster-than-light teleports are the only thing I like about this story currently, and it probably wouldn't hold up to deeper inspection.
Formatting error displayed through the entire story: Italicized text that is itself emphasized is unitalicized, not bolded. Generally, bolding is not ever done to body text.
If it was plasma, Shining, and everything in a foot radius, would be vaporized.
It really shouldn't be that funny, but somehow, it is.
Aaaand there goes the laughter again.
5573405 naw, that parts actually normal, I have a loving pet that I take good care of and she loves me lots and she calls me Master and sometimes when doing certain scenes call her bitch, albeit that's not my thing but she needs it and I'll do it for her. No my problem, the one that assured me beyond a doubt that he is a terrible pony not deserving of the title Master is that he tried to have his mares act as a shield. A real Master would have sent Cadence and the rest a safe distance away before taking on a pissed off Twilight, Albeit a real Master would have left the guards out of the equation and met her with a mountain of books and a promise to drop all the sex stuff until she has had time to process, far better mannered and smarter to meet her with temptation and kindness then violence and limit-crossing.
I think this should be 4 vector or 5 vector, depending if the thaumic field is forcelike or spacetimetimelike respectively.
Once again, Twilight takes the world upskirt and violates reality.