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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Holy crap, that looks scary!
HA!
Slipped into third person there, I think.
I have a suspicion what those rubber accessories are for. Evil, evil Rarity.
6100512
Good catch on the typo. (In Twilight's defense, she's been through a lot. A bit of deponialization is to be expected.)
And Rarity's not evil! She's just misunderstood. And rather fashion-forward.
This chapter cleared up some things about the vamponies and the marking system, but it also makes me question a bunch of the things I thought I knew about them so far.
6104632
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonthermal_plasma
6105334
I'm not doing my job if you're not at least a little morally confused.
6104030
I'm pretty sure that's the case, yeah. Course, with the fittings being all stretchy, they can wear 'em when they're really young since it'll grow along with them until they can get real marbles.
If I were in Twilight's place I'd ask Pinkie whether Sweetie Belle is okay. And the other Crusaders too for that matter, lest Pinkie doesn't mention something "because you didn't ask, silly!".
6105449
Wouldn't be surprised if women actually said stuff like this, though...
6112857
Very few mares say things like that, but extremists always tend to be the loudest voices. In this case it's a matriarchal society, so it's more comparable to a stallion saying it about mares, which you can probably imagine with far less difficulty.
Twilight isn't supposed to look quite as much like a misandrist here as much as she's supposed to look really naive because she's never really thought about the idea.
6113707
The extreme feminists was the group i was aiming at in that comment.
It is clear that twilight's naive personality is a main focus in this story, and because of that, her ignorance to these issues are going to be showing clearly.
6123129 They are cutting out pieces of a ponies brain...and things are not that bad...?...really?!
Honestly I would agree that they are being repressed if it were not for the whole hentai-esk rape you till you like it...then lobotomize you, part...
I see no way this can end happily...even if Twilight turns this around some how there is no way for many of these ponies to go back, and would probably hurt themselves if made to understand exactly how wrong what happened to them was...
Honestly if I was Twilight I would make an end game contingency plan that would come into play if I became compromised mentally...
I am honestly surprised Twilight has not snapped and started seriously hurting ponies...if not maiming them...
I mean she has almost been raped by family twice...has had her friends raped, brainwashed, and then sent to rape and brainwash her...she has seen everything she has ever known become twisted and perverted into a mockery of what it once was...heck her entire family wants to cut out a piece of her brain and rape her...Twilight should have snapped long ago, and become a worse Nightmare than they have ever known before!
As it stands now I can pretty much guess that Twilight is going to slowly become okay with this, and eventually lose the fight...at best she will stop the lobotomies, and find a happy medium between brainwashing rape and love...
If I was being truly honest I would have expected Twilight to not only snap and go nuts, but to some how come to the 'logical' (sarcastic) conclusion that since those that have been fully 'converted' are beyond help that they need to be put down...
We know that it does not take much to make Twilight snap, and yet for some reason she is handling her own brother raping and lobotomizing her friends, her parents trying to rape and lobotomize her, and her entire world get turned upside down...She should be bats#!t insane at this point, and half way down the dark road of "I will fix this!!!...no matter what I have to do..." instead Twilight seems halfway down the road of "may be rape and lobotomy are not that bad...I have sexual feelings so may be I will like rape and lobotomy..."
Either way I will have to wait to see how this ends before I read anymore...
6125248 yes but you have to understand this is just a story written by an author I'm going to be honest not a very good one either I've seen some pretty sick s*** on their site and this is not the worst and it doesn't even hit the top 10 of the worst of stuff that I have seen it's not canon it's never going to happen in the show don't get so worked up about it I know it's truly awful from what's happen but for God's sakes that's never really going to happen to Twilight
6125752 Well, yeah...obviously it is a story...A story we are commenting on because it amps us up and makes us feel emotional.
That is one of the big draws with commenting on a story, and is one of the many things authors hope for when they write their stories.
If an author can get a reader emotionally invested in a story then they have done a good job.
An author has failed when their writing evokes no more emotion than your average text book.
So far this author has evoked a lot of emotion...so that's a win.
I just can't continue because I cannot stand reading tragedies of this nature, but that is my personal bias on that front.
My only real critique o the story is Twilights overall calm acceptance of what is some very mind breaking if not soul crushing events.
6125752
Excuse me, what?
I can fully accept the critique that I'm not a very good author (or that the story isn't very good, because I can't tell which one you mean), but "pretty sick shit on their site" can't possibly be about me. This is the only M story I currently have on public display, and my personal website is mostly nonfunctional at the moment. I did write some erotic stories a long time ago that became very popular, but I haven't had them online in years and years.
I think you have may have me confused with somepony else (except for the "not very good" part which is accurate).
6127965 no that particular part was not aimed at you I was just expressing that I have see a lot worse stuff and I'm not saying your story is bad specifically I was just making a point to him this story is not as gory as he seem to think it is and you're not that bad an author so don't be so hard on yourself
6125804
I don't think that invoking emotion is necessarily proof that a story is good, though I would agree failing to invoke any emotion probably doesn't make for a good story.
It's fascinating for me to see what ponies think of a story I've written, because it's always a surprise. I don't think Twilight is acting very calmly at all, though her writing may seem calmer because she has to get to a point where she can actually pick up her pen and reflect before she can write. I actually conceptualize her as being rather shell-shocked most of the time. She pushes the madness to the side as much as possible, until something new comes up to dredge it all back, in which case she returns to reliance on the older, more rigid constructs of law and social order she developed in her youth.
This is very difficult subject matter to cover primarily because ponies want very different things from the story. There is no possible ending I can write where everypony will think it isn't a tragedy. Some ponies want Twilight to torture and murder her friends. Some ponies want Twilight to give in and have fun. Some ponies want Twilight to mediate between two or more "sides" in the story and achieve a compromise.
One thing that should probably be clear by this point is that the story does not exist specifically as a vehicle for gore, misery, or even evil intent. Everypony in the story appears (on the surface) to be doing what they think is best for their friends, which is a thin but tangible thread tying into the show's theme of friendship. Despite all the sex, the idea that ponies on different sides are trying to do "the right thing" outside of tying those interests directly to the act of sex is what makes the story (to me, at least) both touching and disturbing at the same time. I think the first sex chapter (the TwiJack one) is a great illustration of this dichotomy, and consequently it's one of my favorite chapters. It's also one I intended to be, and personally find, erotic; but this has nothing to do (for me) with the sex itself.
Beyond what I've said, I can't make guarantees. One pony's panacea is another pony's poison, and some ponies who read this may change their minds about which is which as they read and reflect... more than once, even.
TSJ is like Soylent Green. How is it? Well... it varies from pony to pony.
6127981
No problem! I wasn't down on myself, I was just very confused about what you were trying to say. I thought you might have confused me for another author.
Read this all in two sittings. Loving it so far. I'm really hoping that Twilight succumbs to the order eventually
6136101 fuck it, let's do this shit!
More with the lobotomy stuff, huh?
I'm really enjoying this story, but at the same time I think I hate it. It makes me sick, to see chatacters I love have a FUCKING LOBOTOMIES! That fact alone is what's tempting me to stop reading, but my damn curiosities are keeping me hooked. I'll, possibly against my own seld interest, finish this crazy fucking story.
I have no idea whether I love you or hate you Trick Question. But you have a new viewer for this story, though I will probably be complaining about every damn thing, but still.
All caught up and that last part is just vomit inducing. I really want to know what is behind all this, the whys, hows, and such. At the same time I don't think I can stomach it if there is going to be more foalcon. It's just sick and beyond wrong. Twilight SHOULD feel like a bad, sick, twisted pony for even thinking it MIGHT be even a LITTLE alright. I've said this before but I really hope Celestia isn't some other evil here, and that she fixes everypony, or banishes them all to the Sun or down to Tartarus, including Twilight. Because, again, at this point they all deserve it.
I believe my reaction thus far can best be summed up through the magic of best pony. Ahem:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/20/10898__safe_solo_animated_derpy+hooves_upvotes+galore_open+mouth_tongue+out_meta_wide+eyes_derpibooru.gif
Seriously, this is one of the most disturbing things I've read on this site. The mutilation, the denigration, the magic lobotomy box... and Celestia's not smelling of roses either! And yet I keep reading, because this is an incredibly engrossing narrative. I am utterly horrified and considerably disgusted, and yet I look forward to more.
6287662
It's interesting how differently different readers view the same events (in a non-erotic context, even). That tells me I'm probably doing something right.
Second Viewing
Hmmm
(Beware spoilers below)
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/9/92/Apple_Bloom_acting_bitter_S6E4.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20160410171341
Hello Zecora. how are youuuuuuuuuu
img04.deviantart.net/9dc8/i/2011/204/5/5/darla_dimple_by_pisces1090-d41g0ky.jpg
Run out of friends to trick in the foreeesssssst?
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2495-979.gif
(Beware spoilers end)
You monster you. How dare you want him to be happy and feel good.
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5607_small.jpg
3rd full viewing
Ok, that thing still bugs me a bit. What if an earth pony gets a horn, is she an Earthicorn? Or a pegasus given earth pony whatever, is he an Earthasus?
8455901
That hasn't been revealed yet.