It's been a month since Twilight Sparkle, human student, made friends with six strangers and saved Canterlot High from the Sirens. Only, with the danger gone and a semblance of normality restored, she wonders what it is about these girls, so disparate in nature, that makes them such good friends, and what her role is as their friend.
It's not helping that another Twilight Sparkle reunited them first, almost half a year ago, but her friends are determined to show her that she belongs, and that they like her.
Cover art by TIGER-TYPE. Used with permission.
Edited by Minds Eye
Pre-read by Don't Look at my Name Bro, ZOMG, ZodiacSpear, Sholan, Grand_Moff_Pony
Chapters (16)
Hmmm... This has promise. I'll be keeping an eye on it.
A great start, which has all the good stuff you've always delivered. Evocative, immersive prose, pitch-perfect characterisation, and the promise of character growth and self-discovery. Definitely one to keep an eye on. And, of course, the presence of all the board games means we'll all expect the M-rated chapter when Cards Against Humanity is whipped out. Many friendships and souls will be sundered then in glorious fashion.
On a slightly more personal level, I completely get Rarity's own situation with the house. My own family has a refurbished croft on the coast of the Rough Bounds, several hours drive away from civilisation. No electricity, no running water, loving memories of it from earliest childhood. No prospect of losing it any time soon, thankfully.
This one is going to be good. You're taking your skill at world building and putting it all in character interaction. Combine that with the character depth you're capable of, and you have a powerful story.
5348167
I'm sorry, but you can find the bandwagon fics on aisle three this month. All this holiday shopping, you know? Plays havoc on the floor plans.
Great start! Let's hope they don't have a secret shipfic deck though... xD
/love that game
5348113
I hope you enjoy it as the story progresses. I have two more chapters completed, and four more outlined. And that's the end of the story. Hopefully get it all done here in a month.
5348167
Thank you! That's quite a compliment. Sadly, or not so sadly, the girls only brought standard fare games. And, Fluttershy was in charge of getting them. So, friendly games ahoy!
5348234
I wanted this to be a story that focused on the friendship the girls share, and Twilight's discovery of just what it means to be a friend, and what that means to each of her friends.
5348329
I could see Rarity or Pinkie Pie sneaking in something like that in her bag - though it likely be world-appropriate and feature comic book characters and the like. Maybe even Twilight - though that might be a contrivance of Cadance's.
Okay, this story seems interesting but I hate hate hate the whole "fluttershy has angry/fighting/abusive parents" thing. It's so overused, like the "scootaloo is an orphan" thing. It seems a lot of people are just like "oh she's quite, gentle, and withdrawn, she must've had a horrible childhood." People can just be quiet and kind because they're quiet and kind. Link Link2 <- now tell me that doesn't sound like Fluttershy.
5348481
It may just be that her parents are goofy and prone to disagreeing on silly things.
I don't think she's had a horrible childhood. Just that her parents have the occasional personality clash. Just like AJ and Rarity do. I think, overall, that her parents are good people. Maybe she's even being hyperbolic.
Or I could excise the line or change it. To be honest, it never really clicked.
5348521 fair enough. Yeah, I guess it's just a kind of pet peeve of mine.
This it what happens when I jump to conclusions.
5348527
To be honest, the line was never pivotal to the story. Changed it to something that more accurately reflects what I think Fluttershy would be worried about in that situation.
Also, I quite understand pet peeves. No worries.
5348234
There was a bandwagon involved? For Cards Against Humanity, I assume? I miss too many things.
Optimism wants to tell me good things came of it, pessimism assures me otherwise.
5348378
Sadly or not so sadly, indeed. I have faith in your ability to tell the story without any soul-withering acts arising, if such can even be done.
I quite like the solemnity of this story so far - you can really feel the disassociation between Twilight and her friends, which is really the strength of the premise. I'm expecting lots of juicy conflict from this one. Like, is Twilight even their friend or is she just a stand in for her other self? Looking forward to seeing how it'll turn out.
The one part I didn't like was the Apples to Apples thing, which was probably because extended references to IRL brands tend to rustle my jimmies a bit.
5348947
I thought that Apples to Apples would be something that would actually exist in the EQG world. I thought attempting to come up with a clever pun that meant the same thing would have distracted from the revelatory point of that part of the story.
For the rest, yes. I hope so. Maybe not juicy as in screaming and throwing of things, but certainly an obstacle that she needs her friends' help to overcome.
Ah, yes, I've been waiting for this to go up. I was quite happy when you let me preread this little tale of yours
5349095
I'm glad to have had you pre-read it, Zomg!
5348924
There was a bandwagon, and it was, frankly a dumb one. The fun of Cards Against Humanity is in the playing - from my side, at least. Watching people play... not as fun. Novelty, maybe once. But... eh, I haven't seen any lately, so maybe it's over before it really even started.
I like the story so far. One question, will we find out how the human Twilight first met them?
Can't wait to see the next chapter!
5349687
You won't have to wait long for both! I release the next chapter in less than 24 hours. Tomorrow at about noonish, I think. It goes a bit more in depth into the situation.
Glad you're enjoying it!
5349680
Were we not seperated by the Atlantic, I'd be all too happy to play it with you. Horrific opinions would be formed and moralities would be inevitably shifted downwards, but that's the risk you've got to take.
Aisde from this (horrific) tangent, good first chapter. Well deserving of a favourite. I'm looking forward to where you take this.
5349375 Well, I'm flattered, but really, I'm just amazed at how you've worked the relationships. I refuse to spoil anything, of course, but I will say this to your readers:
Get ready for possibly the best characterization of friendship we've seen in a long time. Noble made this seem like something we'd do with all of our friends.
Consider me intrigued. I like how Twilight is beginning to develop.
Very interesting dynamic at play here. It's like all of them know who they are, why they're together, and what they mean to each other, but they can't be 100% sure in their assumptions or insights.
At least not yet.
/Looking forward to more! :)
5351226
Aside from Twilight, I think they do. They had six months after having Twilight from Equestria reuniting them to see what Twilight had brought out in them fall apart again after the creation of the band. Another external conflict brought them back together. I wonder what kind of determination they would have to prevent their friendship from falling apart again.
5350398
Glad to hear it! I hope the story unfolds nicely for you.
Okay, so let me get this straight: Pony Twilight didn't come through the portal a second time. Instead, human Twilight showed up and made 'friends' with them while Sunset Shimmer did the whole 'Magic counterspell thing? (Not that this has any bearing on the plot yet that I see. From what I can tell, when human Twilight showed up, everyone thought she was pony twilight and the confusion was eventually cleared up, save for human Twilight, who is constantly wondering if she belongs at all. Boy, keeping up with Twilights here is harder than finding the ace in 'three card Monte.')
5351428
Something like that. Like you said, the fine details of what actually happened during the showdown aren't all that important to the story itself. But yes, Sunset Shimmer was the primary mover in the events prior. It just took time for her to realize that she really did know what made these girls work together. She'd been the one to drive the wedges in between them, knew how to push their buttons. I think it would make sense that, after seeing the power of friendship, and learning more about them, that she would have been able to reunite them.
Twilight kinda got dragged along for the ride, and ended up playing (I think) the role that Sunset did. I'll need to make that a bit more concrete as it becomes more relevant to the story.
Another good chapter. At the risk of doing a good broken record impersonation, you're excellent at setting and evoking scenes. Good interactions between Twilight and the others as well.
5351472
Thank you, Carabas!
I have realized, though, that I've kinda dug myself into a niche. My last few longer stories have mostly dealt with inner conflict. Which is all fine and good, and does make for, to me, interesting reading. And writing. But I've also got two adventure stories that I want to write, as well. Shaman Shy and Celestia fighting against an invading evil force. I really need to get buckled down and write those when I finish Vacation.
Hopefully my talent with scene setting and character interactions (and world building) will carry over into those stories as well.
Well, at least Fluttershy is confident that Equestria wasn't eaten by Galactus. But I still worry...
Another great chapter! I will mostly take back what I said before though. I re-read chapter 2 after reading 3, and I now recognize that the other girls are more set in their thoughts about Twilight (both Twilight's really) than I initially thought. Seems like Fluttershy is quickly becoming the psychological detective of the group though, and that makes a lot of sense for her character.
Can't want for more! :)
5353790
She is, isn't she? I've seen her that way a lot. Not necessarily in the show (something I'd like to see happen there), but I could see her doing it for her animal friends, and we kinda do. From time to time.
As for their views on Twilight, both of them. In this world, Twilight from Equestria can't come back any time she chooses, and that sets a huge limitation on the amount of time she can spend with them, building bonds and just... being there with them.
She may love them like her friends in Equestria, but she can't act on those feelings whenever she feels like it. And she's right, what she said in the movie: "I have other duties I need to attend to in Equestria." If she were to try and be friends in different worlds (possible, but... yeah. Think about the jet lag!), she's going to end up letting some of them down. And she does have duties as a princess that she can't just shirk because she wants to spend time with friends who aren't impacted by her rule.
That's a part of it.
Being a good friend does mean giving up some freedom. Being a good friend means you can't just do whatever the heck you want, whenever you want. You have... I hesitate to say responsibility, but that's what it boils down to. There is a responsibility you have for reciprocation of friendship. Discord learned pretty much this exact lesson from Fluttershy. E-Twilight, being separated by a whole world... well, Twilight from Equestria can't fulfill a lot of those responsibilities as she is, now.
Six months apart is a long time. I think there were a lot of talks during that time. I kinda explore that impact more pointedly in another story I'm writing. A TwiDash romance where Rainbow is hung up on Twilight from Equestria, and her friends want to help her get over it. They call in Twilight from Humania (silly name) to help. Things... do not go according to plan.
5353466
I would be, too. Not seeing my friend for such a long time, knowing she lives in another world where creatures like the Sirens have come from.
Alright, that last chapter did it for me. Faved!
~Luna on TL
5354381
Glad to hear it! This chapter is my favorite. I particularly enjoyed crafting the past with Fluttershy. It really highlights her strengths, I think. She's sensitive, and kind. This Fluttershy, human Fluttershy, is a little more direct than her pony counterpart, as we see in the movie, but she is still essentially Fluttershy.
Oh, yeah. For this chapter it's getting put in my 'Inspirational Section.'
5354957
High praise. Thank you. I'm glad that it's an inspirational chapter.
Another good chapter. Little complimentary to say that I haven't already gushed about before, and eager anticipation for the next will be fermenting in these quarters. It's nice to see the unconditional love the others have for Twilight, and their efforts to help her realise that in turn.
5355323
I'm glad the unconditional love came through nice and clear. Especially with Fluttershy, I hope.
This is pretty darn good. I like the psychological insight of how human Twilight is trying to fit into the Human 5 dynamic but struggling with the knowledge of how Pony Twilight fit in originally. Yet its not obnoxiously so where it gets bogged down and drags. You get to see some interactions, character moments, etc. Its just an all around pleasant read. I feel like I'm reading Azumanga Daioh (reminiscent of the beach house scenes) but not as goofy yet still enjoyable. I like this story and wholeheartedly ask you to continue it to its full conclusion.
Oh and an extra kudo point for not going into any lesbian shipping angles. That's one of the most tired out and boring tropes of this fandom. Like the dreaded arrow to the knee of shipping.
5360135
Thank you! A large part of the heart and feeling for the closeness of their friendship comes from this:
They love each other, and they're not afraid to show it when they want to. They're trying to show Twilight that same thing. More on that later. I wanted to show them as the show does. Six exceptionally close friends who stick with each other through thick and thin. Straight up, no reading into it. Though I'm sure that anyone could read just as deeply into the interactions in this story.
And, to be honest, I keep on having to bap myself on the head and say "Bad author! Stick to the plan!" I'm a shipper at heart, and it's hard to resist. But, I use that insight into the romantic side to add just a touch of intimacy to the interactions. Not enough to ship, but enough to show that they genuinely care for one-another.
Shine Like Rainbows is my favorite RR song. This is what I like about MLP in general, both in pony and EG forms, is that friendship bonding where they can be truly honest and expressive but without the innuendo (though I know fans add that to their head canons). Anyways, great work expressing that in your story.
Very nice beginning, here. :) Although I'm confused. In the summary it says this is human-Twilight and she helped defeat the Sirens, but wasn't it pony-Twilight who did that? Or is that where the AU tag fits in?
Anyway, Rarity? When you're grown, you'll put away childish things, like the fear of being childish. :D
Aww. *Hugs Twilight* Trust me, kid. All your questions and doubts, everyone else has them.
Fluttershy seems a bit too... wise beyond her years, here. I dunno. Her and Twilight felt a bit 'off' to me, sorry. But it was still great overall.
5363354
I did make Fluttershy a little more world-wise than she's shown to be in the show or the movies. However, I don't think she's unreasonably wiser. I think, given the right circumstances of upbringing and history, she could be. Pay more attention to people, watch people's reactions more closely, listen to conversations others have, watch the outcomes. Not even something she really thinks about. Just something that she... feels. Maybe it's a part of the magic that they share. I tried to hint that Fluttershy was more sensitive to it than her friends might have been in the second chapter. She looked up when Twilight focused on the bond of friendship between them. And since friendship is magic... well.
Or perhaps she just paid more attention to the lessons she learned from pony Twilight, or took something different away from the encounter than is shown. Neither of the movies do much to focus on human Fluttershy. Not like we get to see in the show. And yes, show Fluttershy would be out of character here. But, even in the movies we've seen that HumanShy is more direct and forthcoming than PonyShy. Even if it was because the writer's needed someone to provide exposition, I thought it would have made sense, given the more connected nature of the human world.
As for how off Twilight felt... I'm not sure how you mean. If you meant Twilight and Fluttershy interacting, maybe that's what.
I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
Edit: I'm glad you made mention of Fluttershy and Twilight's interaction. It gave me something to think about.
5363527 I meant Fluttershy and Twilight interacting. And okay, good explanation/reasoning with Flutters, there.
5363074
I hope the next chapter cleared up that confusion. That bit with Rarity was there mostly to inform the reader as to what exactly happened (from the statue side) that prevented pony Twilight from coming to help.
Another excellent chapter. Loving how the emotions are being portrayed in this story.
More awesomeness from the mind of Noble! I really love the depth to which you're exploring each of the characters!
Way to go, Rainbow. Bringing up pony Twilight when human Twilight is already having identity issues is not a good idea.
5371900
Thank you! And thank you for the pre-reading help.
5371922
I really like doing that, too. It's neat to see them interact, and resist the urge to ship. Still, I think it's a fair depiction of six really close friends.
5372188
Rainbow's still gettin' rid of the sleepies.