[Warning: Spoilers in the comments]
The world around Roseluck is slipping away piece by piece. Color drains away, fear creeps in, and an empty town hides a secret she is afraid to face.
When all that remains are memories of family, friends, and fleeting moments, a friend tries to help her hold onto them before they fade away.
Before she fades away.
Cover art by secret-pony used with permission.
This story wouldn't be where it is today without the help of Minds Eye. Editor, pre-reader, idea wall, friend.
I also had a ton of help and encouragement from these fine folks acting as pre-readers and/or editors:
Between Lines, Evilhumour, Smaug the Golden, CogWing,Cerulean Voice, Adda le Blue, SirTruffles, wYvern, Syeekoh
Chapters (10)
You're welcome for the help. This story has been a pleasure to work on. I hope it does well for you.
Oh wow. I'm really enjoying the not too silly Pinkie Pie.
It was my pleasure to help. Also, first time I get to see the description and glad to see that I was right about the plot.
4954123
She was fun to write. I like seeing Pinkie be responsible. She's shown that she can be, and she knows when it's time to get serious, even if the situation is strange.
4954105
I was glad to have you there from the start.
4954176
That description was the source of a lot of worrying. I was afraid it was too vague... but there's not much more I can say about it without spoiling it.
4954376 I see. Trust me, and future readers, it works well!
It was a pleasure to help.
4954539
I'm glad to have had your help, Smaug. It is most appreciated.
The denial and the escape into forgetting was very well done. Powerful emotions at work. And a sad Pinkie... that's like the worst possible thing!
4955548
I know, right. Writing sad Pinkie is... it's hard. So was getting the moment right for Roseluck. It took a lot of thought and experimentation to see what worked right for her. That was the important part. Making it feel real.
Wait... is Pinkie dead too? Or is this just weird Pinkie reality bending?
4955669
All shall be revealed. It's a part of the mystery of the circumstances they find themselves in. I will say that I left hints throughout this chapter and the next as to the true nature of what's going on.
Have you played any of the Souls games? Because Roseluck sounds like she's going hollow.
4955702
I have not, actually. What is 'going hollow'? I imagine it has something to do with losing bits of oneself until all that remains is a shell?
4955674 I will now spend the next few hours bashing my head against this story to find your hints, then I will second guess myself and feel dumb.
4955711
To be fair... you'd have to be a psychic or one of my pre-readers to know exactly what's going to happen. I do hold back some until it becomes more relevant. Can't have folks guessing the answer to the mystery until chapter 3 or 4 at least
4955707
Lore splurge incoming!
In the Souls games, everybody is an undead. Not zombies, undead. They die over and over and over and over and every time they die they wake up at a magical bonfire. Over time, they begin to go "hollow" and become more like the zombies we love to slash to bits. Each death progresses you further in the process. The first few stages of going hollow, as demonstrated by many of the game's characters, involve forgetting things. At first, it's bits and pieces. A name lost here, face forgotten there, but over time the bits and pieces that fall away will weaken your mind as a whole. Eventually, the process will leave you as little more than a husk that wanders the land awaiting the end of the world.
There are two main ways to combat hollowing:
1. Hold onto a goal, or ambition. Having something to fight for slows the process, which makes the story of many of the characters you meet throughout the game all the more tragic. As you help them and keep solving problems for them, you make them go hollow because they lose the need to fight and give up. Helping them will literally destroy them.
2. Steal the souls of those who aren't hollow. This is the very simplified version of the idea because I'd have to explain the entire story of the game almost to give the full version. There is a group of people known as the Darkwraiths who travel around and steal the souls of others and use them to aid in mending their own.
4955761
That sounds very interesting. Hmm. In a way Rose is in a similar position, but the roses she's leaving behind when she flees are more than just bits of fluff. Have you heard that scent is the most powerful motivator of memory?
That's in chapter 2 somewhat. It becomes more important later.
4955787 Is she secretly Poison Ivy from Batman?!
That would be the best and dumbest twist ever!!
4955711
The thing is, I'm not going to tell you what's going on.
What's really happening is that Roseluck I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. But it isn't until chapter 5 that you realize there was thread in the Writer's Group last week about posting what you would do if someone else's avatar was next to you.
Eventually, it's revealed that there were a couple avatars that were... attractive females, and I had this idea to use the spoiler tag to make people think I was typing something disgusting.
And in the end, I just had to get this out of my system. I'm sorry. I'll stop now.
Above all, you have to remember that Pinkie is helpful.
4955796
As funny as that would be... nope. Rose is... Rose. She's a simple mare with a simple life that got...
4955802
That was... beautiful.
4955802
Shocking revelations!
Startling accusations!
Other tagline type exclamations!
4955812 That got turned into Poison Ivy from Batman, specifically the one played by George Clooney?!
4955834
I now want to write a crossover with Roseluck as Poison Ivy...
4955840 Of Roses, Ivy, and George Clooney's Bat-Nipples
4955844
gamefob.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/oh-my-george-takei.gif
Bat nipples. That image. Why that image? Because random.
4955850 oneguyrambling.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/batnipples.jpg
Bat Nipples are a thing! George Clooney had them!
Interesting. One burning question for me is: is this just happening to her or did something happen to Ponyville? I got an odd life after people vibe with how her house was neglected. Otherwise why didn't someone move in?
4956330
It's not Ponyville. I can say that much without spoiling anything. Roseluck tried to make a joke in the first chapter that pretty much explains where they are.
"Pinkie? What's wrong?" She laughed, the sound falling flat even to her ears. "You look like you've seen a Mirror Pie again."
Chapter 3 will start to explain much, much more.
4955860
I was looking for a video clip of Psych episode 8: Shawn vs. the Red Phantom... couldn't find one.
Have a transcript instead.
Shawn: Is this the movie you dragged me to where the hero had big nipples on the outside of his costume?
Artist: Damn those nipples.
Shawn: They were like big, angry marshmallows.
Gus: Be nice to him, Shawn.
Artist: The Green Spirit movie nearly killed the character.
This is very intriguing, please do continue.
This is absolutely superb so far. The description is masterfully evocative, the mystery gripping, and the pacing gentle without being a crawl. I look forward to seeing this continued.
I'm also really curious about Pinkie's role in this - does acting as a psychopomp fall within the Pinkie power portfolio? And if so, what does that say about the post-death experiences of many?
("What - what happened? I remember darkness and a lot of -"
"Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm your guide to a better place!"
"What the f-"
"Though that can be kind of misleading, since pretty much everywhere's relatively better than a dragon's stomach. Not fun, believe you me. Anyway, sorry, I'm rambling. What was your name?")
4957306
You won't have to wait long. Next chapter is coming out later today. After that there will be a pause before the next chapter. This is a bit of a change from the original release schedule but I realized the these first two chapters, while intriguing are also fairly light on what her life was life before. Chapter 3 starts to dig into what it is she's forgetting.
4956576
As I said to Carabas, I realized that there wasn't a whole lot about her life beforehand. There's also the potential of people thinking I'm trying for an afterlife RosePie ship... which I'm not. But could work in different circumstances.
As you wish.
4957306
As to whether or not Pinkie is an usher for the afterlife... that was an idea I'd toyed with but ultimately discarded in favor of a more... reasonable explanation. If... well, anything involving Pinkie could be said to be reasonable.
Another amazing chapter.
I'm going to be blunt honest here, Noble Thought. This is probably one of the best fictions I have read thus far on FiM. The pacing, the mystery, the characterizations, the setting, the atmosphere, the emotion, are all expertly done here. The first two chapters left the impression of mystery and what had happened, but once things became clearer, the emotional and (for me) philosophical movement has me solidly gripped. The third chapter, with it's romance, had me forget for a moment, what was actually going on, and when reality hit again... well, I'll leave it be for now.
The underlying message that I have perceived from this is one that is very important to everyone, I honestly believe. I will not say what I believe it is now, so that your readers can come to their own conclusions, but I honestly believe it is an important one.
Gosh, after reading this, all of my work seems like child's work...
Keep up the great work.
Cheers!
4957393 Pinkie Pie is one to make others happy. Why should that stop at death?
4957684
I'm at a loss for words. I'm sitting here trying to think of something to say other than to thank you for reading and enjoying what I've written. And commenting. Comments are fuel for us writers.
Happy. I'm happy. That this story touched you and gripped you so tightly. That's what I am. I would be lying if I said I didn't want others to enjoy this story, and I was worried from the lack of attention that others weren't.
So thank you, ZodiacSpear, everyone. Thank you so much for taking the time to ... wow.
4957306
I really need to stop replying to comments from my phone while still half asleep. Thank you, Carabas, for taking the time to comment. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story thus far. This story comes from the heart, but I had to distance my heart from it while writing it and editing it. Sometimes I still have a hard time realizing just how intense the first two chapters are because of that distance.
But it's a distance that was necessary. I would have been sobbing through the writing if I hadn't. I'm glad that I didn't distance myself too much from it... because even at a distance, those first two chapters hurt to write. It hurt to put Rose through what she went through.
The ache fades... but it's still there.
'Scuse me while I go find some more words. I'm all out.
Fascinating story so far. I'm very curious to see how Pinkie plays into all of this.
4957839
I'm glad it's fascinating! It's meant to be a little mysterious at first. I want readers to ask "Why?"
As for Pinkie... I hope you will follow the story to find out. The next update is scheduled for Sept 10th at around 6pm. It's already written, but inundating folks with updates (especially as large as some of the later chapters get) wouldn't be appreciated, I think.
Also, it will give me a chance to finish writing the story! I'm only up to halfway through chapter 6 for completion.
Thanks for the comment and the favorite Rob.
Another beautiful chapter. This really is an atmospheric and superbly told piece, and the device for imparting information about her part life - running into memories in the afterlife - is handled exceedingly deftly. Rose and Post Haste's first date was adorable.
Pardon my incoherent stream of flattery. Damned if this wasn't worth faving on the spot.
(Also, three replies to my previous comment? Everyone loves a writer who pays that much attention to their readers.
Keep up that good standard!)
4958162
You're welcome! I should pay attention to my readers. Your comments and encouragement let me know that I'm doing right by your time. And I really do appreciate the time everyone takes to coment on my stories. Especially this story.
Hoo... the time I've spent trying to make everything work right, all the time that others have donated to me to help make this story shine... It's rewarding to see that effort on my behalf recognized.
I do not hedge words when I say this story has been a labor of love. And learning. I've learned so much about writing, emotion, and crafting a mood from this story. I've learned a lot from those that helped and continue to help as the story nears completion.
Just two and one half chapters to go and it will be completed.
4957764 *hands you a box of words. Almost all poetic and very few curses*
4958143 Yeah, I getcha. Well I'm happily awaiting for the next chapter then!
Also... I wish I could say that I was worried about posting chapters too quickly...
I saw your Jurassic Park reference. My new theory is that Post is actually a dinosaur in disguise and he ate rose, who is actually poison ivy from batman in disguise.
4955802 you magicinet bastard
Welp, time to depress myself yet again by reading another Roseluck story
I fall for these kinds of stories hook, line, sinker, reel and pole
4958907
4959107 I've lived with my own ghosts for over 20 years
You get used to their voices
4959107 I've got different facets of my personality slowly gaining voices, it's not as bad as it sounds...