• Member Since 17th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 minutes ago


Just a writer who likes MLP and hopes to make a living off it: https://ko-fi.com/ink_hoof


Comments ( 509 )

I'm really liking this so far. The characters all feel believable and I'm intrigued to find out what's next.

There's one thing I want to ask, just to be 100% clear. Is Scootaloo dating Babs is this story? I simply ask because the dialogue is a bit ambiguous who she was referring to as her best friend and girlfriend, and I'm leaning towards Babs being the girlfriend because of the back rub she gave Scootaloo.

4872296 Yes. Yes she is. I thought it would be fun to have the two tomboyish mares dating, so they are.

This is... interesting. I think I'll tag along, see how it goes. :pinkiesmile:

This seems interesting, however I have to ask, why does Twilight need guards in the first place?

4872961 she doesnt. but neither do celestia and luna, and they have them anyway

Goddamnit. You stole my idea.

Now I'm gonna have to scrap that story I've been working on.

Badass Tiara?! :derpyderp1::applejackconfused::twilightoops::rainbowderp:


Seriously, a long time since I saw an original concept around here.

I wonder what conversation will now take place between the Shopkeeper's Princess and the favourite trainee artisan of the Goddess of the Moon?

Man, you just can't help yourself when it comes to making new stories, can you? (Not that that's a bad thing at all, but do you have any plans for Friendship is Shining or Shard in the near future? Come on, just a taste! :pinkiecrazy:)


Sorry. As for this one, I'm certainly intrigued. This first chapter here still leaves me really wondering just what went on in DT's head that will lead her to joining the Guard. I imagine that the levels of "Wut?" will be through the roof when the others find out.


Makes sense that Snips and Snails would grow out of their "awkward" phase. Poor pony, she's really gonna have to get some anger management.

4874251 :raritycry: Noooooo. Don't scrap it. Why would you do that? :raritydespair:
Seriously though, I don't think you should. Similar ideas are used all the time, especially around here. Considering what I see you have written, I doubt there would be many similarities in the result anyways.

Hmm... You have my curiosity. :ajsmug:

please right more i love it :yay: pleasr

Nice chapter, but there a couple of very minor things you may want to edit.

"That was what make it so effective. It was true.

First, the should be "makes". And lastly, you're missing a quotation mark. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this story goes.

4877958 Fixed the typo, but there's no quotation mark missing. At least on that particular sentence. It's how it's supposed to be when the same character is talking, a new paragraph is started, and there's no interrupting action. I don't know why.

Ooh! Ooh! I'm guessing that she becomes a lawyer but secretly fights crime at night too so she's like a double hero in the courtroom by day and in the streets of Ponyville by night and she's all like "Woosh! Pow! Objection!" and all the criminals run from her fearful might as the "Uncut Jewel"! :pinkiehappy:

...or maybe not.

keep up the good work I'm interested to see where this goes :)

I love stories that portray Tiara as more than just a bratty bitch.

I like the direction that this is going in and want to see how you develop the characters. And I love it when there is personal growth in stories.:twilightsmile:

Can I like something for the premise alone?

Interesting story. Looking forward to seeing how it goes.


We can't all be so lucky as to have Daddy gives us the family business when we get older.


I was just told, and taught that it was what I was going to do, so I never bothered to question it.

Either there should be another comma after "taught", or no comma after "told". The commas are optional, but must be used (or not) as a pair.

There's only one response to that last line.


Oh, wait, she was serious? Allow me to laugh even harder!


"I wonder how high I'll get promoted when they see how great I am."


As a Corporal of Marines going on 4 years active duty....


Oh DT, they're going to eat you ALIVE!

Oh how the mighty will fall :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:
:derpytongue2: :derpytongue2: :derpytongue2:

Faved. write more, I'm hooked.


Very promising.

~Skeeter The Lurker


Could stand to beef up the chapters a bit more.

1k is nice, but you could probably get more if you tried for 2k.

That said, what you have now is damn good and works well.

~Skeeter The Lurker

*reads Diamonds assumption about training*
*remembers horror stories from friends about basic training*
This is gonna be good.

Hah! She's got the drive, at least.

...It will not be easy for her at all.

~Skeeter The Lurker

at first..i was a little turned away from this Story..especially with who its about..iv never liked diamond tiara or silver spooon..for obvious reasons but..i figured why not..lets see were the story goes. im interested to say the least Diamond Tiara is in for one hell of a shock when she hits basic training lol

bet she could be a delivery mare then she could meet a one eyed pony, a Golem pony, some sort of talking crab and go on these mis... what that's been done before never mind.:facehoof:

Comment posted by shy sad jaded shard deleted Aug 27th, 2014

For the longest time, Diamond Tiara was a bit of brat. She only cared about her image
and constantly mocked other ponies.

A BIT? She was a bigger troll than Princess Celestia. And possibly Discord!

You dear, earned a follow from me. I love, Diamond Tiara and that pic, since I roleplay as her. I'll be sure to read this for sure.

Awww getting drunk before joining?

Already one of us!


I bet her father kicked her out because she didn't want to take over the family business.

more like she ran away from home cause dear old dad thinks its to dangerous.


I really like the progression rate of this story

No offense meant, of course, but these four chapters could have easily been condensed into one. Still, I love he story so far, and would like more. :pinkiehappy:

This is just so smooth. Is this what Apple Ale tastes like? Because it's totally worth drinking in every word of this story!

I like that each chapter is a nice break in transition too. So keep doing what you're doing. I'd sooner take small chapters with consistent updates than big ones with months gaps that can risk burning out the author.

I have to say, you know how to cut off a chapter. Chapter 4 had the mother of all annoying cliffhanger. xD
But in a good way. Every chapter is pretty focus giving ever scene in a short the focus it deserves. From Silver's fight with Diamond that takes a fanon troupe and DOES something different with it, more believable with it, and sets up a nice mood for intrique and wondering where they stand now.

Where the three CMC stand, though Sweetie's a bit cliche moment seems cliche where she ends up, I enjoyed her unique taste in boyfriends there. And that S1 in your face Scootaloo helps add enough tension to a scene.

Though this all is pretty much TEEN so far with nothing major as of yet, Diamond only now about to go into what many are sort of expecting from the decisions she's made, I do wonder what sort of life DT will be getting into later on. Sounds exciting!

I see no fault in the writing myself. It flows beautifully. Grammar looks solid. And your consistent with how you use your substitute for an em dash -- and at least in my opinion you don't overuse the ellipses. It really shows, much how just reading your first chapter alone, how much care you're putting into every scene.

Such a refreshing read. I hope to see a complete tag on this eventually. Nothing is most sexy than an author who goes through and completes epic multichapter stories without breaking between chapters for years on end.

LOVE this story's characters and how they talk. How Babs and Scoots hooked up could even work as a side story much like Spike and Sweetie down the road if you ever felt like expanding on this universe as well.

I'll stop gushing now. It's good to see something really put in some TLC into a story like this. Mature, Dark, AND Adventure... with Diamond Tiara? :pinkiegasp:

Just amazing. Thank you for writing this. Babs Scoot is adorably funny. The whole chill way Babs rubs a hoof between Scoots wings on her back is just adorable.

love this so fare but I do feel bad for sweetie is he with her because he loves her or just because she looks allot like the sister? (not a glass have empty/full type person but there is probable a good reason its half)

Hah, she got kicked out of her house.

Probably from her less-than-stellar announcement of joining the guard to her father.

(Speculation, mind you.)

~Skeeter The Lurker

I figured this was what was going to happen. Waiting for more.

Filthy... You stupid jackass... Never thought I'd say this, but I feel bad for Tiara. Good to see she's grown up some though. Will be interesting to see where she goes from here.

That went smoother then I thought it would.

Okay. I'll come by the farm after practice with.

With...with who? I think you're missing something here.

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