• Member Since 17th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 25 minutes ago

Hopeful_Ink_Hoof


Just a writer who likes MLP and hopes to make a living off it: https://ko-fi.com/ink_hoof

Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Rainbow Unicorns


Rainbow Burst -- a unicorn version of Rainbow Dash and Princess Celestia's personal student -- has been causing more mischief than usual around the castle (much to Blueblood's chagrin). Deciding the best thing would be to give Rainbow more responsibility and should spend some time away from the castle, Princess Celestia sends Rainbow to Ponyville to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. While there, she and Spike meet some very odd (but familiar) ponies.

(I know, I have a problem. I couldn't resist. Anyway, enjoy.)

Chapters (21)
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Comments ( 222 )

I think you may have a sickness sir (or madam). A rare disease that makes you unable to stop creating new universes :derpytongue2: Anyway it looks like it could be good, also Blueblood here reminds me a lot of Charles Winchester III from MASH. Don't know if that was intentional or not.

That line at the end! Beautiful. When is the next update?

Holy cornflakes, you made Pinkie a freaking unicorn.

This world is doomed.

Ah, so they're all switched around then.

I'm guessing that makes Flutters and Rares earth ponies, and Twi and AJ the pegasi then.

Nice chapter, but I found something you may want to edit.

"I'm curious," Spike said to Applejack as they made their way through the house. "You and your brother are both pegasi, but your farmers."

That should be "you're".

This chapter is surprisingly adorable.

4698027 You know, I think that was actually one I was caught on and considered when I wrote it.

4698405 I don't think that's what I was going for, but glad that you enjoyed it.

That's adorable, or should I say, Adorkable. Also, I take Shining Armor is still Twilight's brother?

Huh...I'll admit I didn't expect Spilight, nice little twist. I also thought we'd end up with Twilight as an Earth Pony and Rarity as a Pegasus, but I suppose this makes a bit more sense (And Ponyville must have the most rigidly scheduled Weather ever)

Okay, so far we have.........

Rainbow and Pinkie as Unicorns

Applejack and Twilight as Pegasi

Which means that...

Rarity and Fluttershy are/will be the Earth Ponies in the group.

(Which, in Flutters case, kinda/sorta makes sense, given her inclination/prerference to staying on the ground, she's about as close as a pony with wings can get to being an Earth Pony.)

This is gettin' really interesting. Can't wait for the next chapter.

And Spike having the same crush on Twi and he usually does on Rarity. Nice change of pace.

Whoa, I wasn't expecting the sudden change of pace from the show, nice.
Though, she could've separated the H2 and the O from each other and burned those, then she could say that she incinerated the cloud :twilightsmile:

4705827
I know :pinkiecrazy:
And maybe later she will too.
Although technically she would make it explode because of hydrogen's combustibility.

good chapter
considering that you were inspired by crisis of infinite twilight i was expecting the twilight pegasus but not spike getting a crush in her.
also i am the only scared by the idea of a earth pony fluttershy.

4706105 I don't think flutters will be an earth pony, i think she'll be a unicorn, and rarity will be the earth pony.

I'm yet to see any of the mane 6 as their cannon race.

4706921 the unicorn spots are already filled by rainbow and pinkie and the pegasi ones by aj and twilight only earth pony ones left

4709303 :facehoof: nuff said, gone done goofed.

Yep, I'm liking the adorkable bookworm pegaTwi here better than the cocky Wonderbolt version from Crisis. And Spike having a crush on her? Sounds like a good excuse for him to start hanging around. Help her manage her schedule. Maybe even become her number one assistant? :moustache:

4706105 Why would you be scared of earth pony Fluttershy?

good chapter the end make me laugh

4714919 because now she's even more in tune with all those forest animals than in canon, no matter how impossible that seems.

Flowershy!!!!
I should have think on that...
Very good story...
I'm dying to know what happen with NMM

To Rainbow Burst, "library" is a four-letter word.

She isn't a great speller.

D'aww... Rainbow is making friends... That she hasn't pranked into submission. Our favourite filly is all grown up!

Nice chapter, but there are a couple of things you may want to edit.

Besides, you'll get to see her plenty once the sun.

This sentence just seem to stop at what seems like a half-way point. (To me at least)

"Please might and powerful Rainbow Burst. I promise upon my strength and honor as a dragon that none shall learn your secrets from me. All I ask is that you grant me the mercy of being spared from the wrath of your great and magnificent powers."

And I think that should be "mighty".

Nice. I liked how with Rainbow not being as bookish as Twilight, she had NO clue about Nightmare Moon's return before it happened. Also how her differing attitude allowed her to better enjoy the Pinkie Party.

Rainbow stared at the pink unicorn in confusion for a moment.  Rainbow and Spike had just entered after running most of the way to the library, only to find Pinkie there already.  Neither of them had seen her pass them anywhere along the way.  She was just... there.
"How did you..." Rainbow started before stopping.  "You know what, not important.  You can help us look.  It will make things go faster."

She is a unicorn she could have just teleported. You know Pinkie's pinkieness gets less interesting when she's a unicorn. Not saying thats a bad thing just something interesting to note.

Don't worry Rainbow Burst, I have a Pegasi fetish too :pinkiecrazy: You aren't alone in that regard. The only negative I notice about this story is why it can't be canon. :raritycry:

I really like this AU so far. Normally these things tend to have similarities to canon and you took the completely original route by eliminating all except the most important aspects such as Nightmare Moon returning. I have a weakness for stuff such as this and though I usually wait till it is completed to read something of this nature, I was hooked into reading it early.

The only thing I don't like about the story is how criminally low on likes it is. Sure it has some errors, but I hardly care about that. The difference in names can be a bit off putting, but that is only because we are familiar to canon names and you throw us for a loop at first. This is nothing against you, I am just used to the canon names.

Although, I am calling it now. Should this be a series, I am betting at least 50 bits that Scootaloo is a unicorn that can't do magic as well as she should. Sweetie is an Earth Pony and I don't have to remind you what Apple Bloom is :ajbemused:

I will follow and track this and congratulations for being the 2nd author to cause me to break my read upon completion rule.

Wow ... one of the best AU's on here ... right up with the Shineyverse. Can't believe I missed this earlier. Love the alt-Mane Six, Unicorn!Pinkie and Pegasis!Twilight especially. And I think Pinkie's Pinkieness will actually increase as a unicorn ... possibly to full-on reality warping. And now I have a mental image of some really EPIC pranks that Rainbow and Pinkie will get up to.

That was awesome. Was half expecting AJ to catch Rainbow there ... echo canon and all that. I wonder who's going to be bearing which Element. Pretty sure Forestshy is gonna be Kindness, though ... can't really see her as anything else - well, maybe Generosity. And I imagine Pinkie has Laughter here; and Rarity is probably going to have Generosity as well ... and Rainbow is almost certainly Magic ... which would lead the Pegasi to split Loyalty and Honesty; most likely with Twilight taking Loyalty and AJ with Honesty.

Wow, this is a very cool look at the AU pilot. Twilight seems likely to fit Loyalty, I am guessing Applejack would be honesty, but maybe you will find some last minute twist nobody expects. I hope you add this to this world and put a fresh spin on some of the episodes in this verse. But that can be hard (at least for me it would)

Good job so far and look forward to the next chapter!!!

good chapter.

When the ground had collapsed, Rainbow Dash had been in the front and thus the first to start falling.
it should be Burst not Dash

4759325
Yeah, figured that would happen sooner or later.

4726325
I had thought about "Posey" since that was the earth pony she was supposed to be based on, but I wanted her friends to still call her "Shy"

YAY!!!
Flowershy... (I won't ever get used to that name)
Represents the Element of Kindness...
I espect that most of the elements stay as canon, the only exception being Rainbow Burst replacing Twilight and vice-versa as the element of Magic and Loyalty Respectively

I got chills during this chapter because of the canon reference. Still continues to be really good. I am sorry I can't offer more.

Well alright.....

gasped

This should be gasp.

:yay: I finally edited something for somepony. Oh happy day, this calls for a party!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

4767289
Got it. Although for future reference, I would appreciate it if you could at least give me the sentence the error is in. The context will help make it easier to find.

4767402

Sorry :pinkiesad2: It was sorta my first time :fluttershyouch: But yeah, still enjoyable story is enjoyable. I figured you could CTRL F it and it would work fine :pinkiecrazy: (were you lazy:pinkiecrazy: pleasedon'tkillme :fluttershysad:)

I see your not going with the whole, "Oh she's a lesbian because she has a Rainbow mane" mentality. Good on ya. The story is very good so far.

Spike is a ladies man!?:rainbowderp:

You have a few instances of canon Fluttershy's name. It can get a bit confusing I know since we are so used to canon. I feel kinda silly for pointing this out :rainbowwild:

Fluttershy clenched her jaw, trying to stifle the yawn.

"I don't want to be eaten," Fluttershy whimpered, moving to hide behind Applejack and Rarity.

Applejack and Twilight had managed to save her and the others at the cliff. Fluttershy had managed to calm the angry manticore and remove the thorn from its paw.

I probably didn't have to do so many long sentences of where the corrections were, and these might have just slipped out. You did get the sorta correct Flowershy down once so maybe you had canon in mind.

I can't do really heavy grammar or punctuation, but what I do notice I can point out. I really like Pinkie's characterization for this and once again I feel kinda angry that this wasn't the actual canon episode. Some things in this story that aren't in the episode (for obvious reasons) were better portrayed here in my humble opinion.

Continue to keep up the good work

good chapter but I was expecting the song.
funny fact real life horses and ponies only need two hours of sleep per day and normally they do in it in many 15 minutes naps. the scene that say how tired they were make me remember that. (i don't remember were i read it so it could be false).

"Please mighty and powerful Rainbow Burst.

What? No Great and Powerful Rainbow Burst?? :trixieshiftright:

4780061
Correct. I intentionally attempted to avoid it for her.

He's the one whoa said "Where did all them apple fritters go?"

Yeah We all were expecting the song...
Hey!! It's a nice song, speaking for myself, it makes me happy, but yeah, there's so many AU stories that have that song that It gets tiring.
Keep the good job...

LOL Unicorn!Pinkie is so meta ... and so silly. Glad you skipped the song, though.

Ooh, I was worried there for a second that it will be directly based on that little scene with Rarity, but you changed it with a healthy dose of self-doubt and obviously the unicorn Pinkie bit....

Some things I noticed were:

"You've been acting mighty peculiar since Twilight saved from that cliff.

you should be after saved.

"And how would you know if i was acting 'peculiar' anyway?

"With all goin' on, I would rather be on the farm with my family then out here dealing with this place and such."

I really want to say the word that's belongs before the word goin' but for all I know the southern dialect makes it unnecessary.

I am looking forward very much to Twilight's Loyalty test. I can think of a few scenarios on what it could be, but it is your story and I don't want to write it for you. I doubt you will disappoint me as I have been enjoying this AU and hope you plan a mini series centered around Rainbow Burst. Seriously something this good can't be left off after two stories. It may have to do with my Rainbow Dash/Burst obsession but the point still stands.

Good job so far :pinkiehappy:

4768247
That cliche is so annoying and overdone

4715765
And don't forget that earth pony Flutershy is even stronger than pegasus Flutershy.

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