The world of Equestria is very different when you don't have nigh-omnipotent gods and goddesses running about. Without Celestia's guiding light, the Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns would probably have never guessed at their gifts. Discord, being the embodiment of Chaos, would work through nature and change, meaning no controlling the weather. Without Luna, the world would be a much darker, scarier place. Oh, and by the way: these aren't your regular little ponies. There will be bipedal ponies with hands, blood and death, and some romance in this story, so if any of those turn you away, well, there's the door.
Not gone? Then...let's begin, shall we?
(Image is courtesy of he4rtofcourage on deviantart. Here, have a link, and tell them how awesome they are. Have fun.)
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&q=Twilight+Sparkle+Mage#/d4fsqot
Other than the Scene change mechanics you use, I don't see any real problems as far as grammar/format goes.
Really interested in where you're going with this, waiting for the next update!
Tracked.
Interesting... Can't wait to see where this goes.
Also, just use a line or something when you change scenes. I think that would be much better than what you used here.
I like where this story is heading. Trixie as Twilight's big sister in the orphanage seems a good way to go with the story. As for the overall plan of the story? I know not but I am interested in finding out. Sweep me upon wings of fiction magical author.
Ok done being whimsical. Anyways this story looks good, and it sounds fascinating. The Unicorns seem to get the short end of the stick for a change, but I feel Twilight is going to have some amazingly, impact upon the world at large, and Trixie will likely be there to help her
. Can hardly wait to read more 
Take my Tracks, then! TAKE THEM!
Also, my thumbs, TAKE THOSE AS WELL!!
But in all seriousness, I really look forward to reading more of this.
Apart from the slightly killer transitions this is a very good piece of work, might I ask where this idea started? Tracked and thumbed.
--Khroam
well, the premise gets a lot of logic shaped holes by default, but at least you put some effort on it.
This is definitely going on my tracked list. I shall hunt it down for updates.
And then came along a pony named Twilight, who could use magic.
is like dragon age themed? since thats what im gettin from the cover art
TAKE ALL MY MONEY
MOAR
MOARMIARMOARMOARMORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOAMROAMROMR
UPDATE FASTER DAMMIT
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And I don't get why people are getting bent out of shape over harsh transition mechanics. not only does it makes the story more unique, it adds a little lightheartedness to it. also, limit the "wild" unicorns to simple telekinesis and have "city" unicorns completely unable to use even that (twilight and maybe Trixie as the exception(s) that proves the rule). and if pinkie isn't a mad jester I will be sad. also, the way you've set it up, it seems that applejack and rainbow dash will end up being at each-others throats while still being the closest of friends.
Ok!
I am a patient person, BUT MY DEAR GOD MAN!!!
This is taking forever. UPDATE!!! PLEASE!!! please...
OMG This is so cool and awsome at the sametime, you makeing it feel like this story going to be epic.
Dude..... please revive this.... it is amazing....
If they're bipedal ponies with hands, why not just add in the Anthro tag?