• Member Since 26th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

Rated Ponystar


"You think you know me..."

T

Fluttershy loves her son, but it's been rough raising him. There are those who have always seen him as a threat. Who mock and make fun of him. They see him as nothing but an abomination.

It hurts her to know that there are ponies out there who do this to her son. It hurts even worse when one of those ponies was one of her friends.

***Warning: Spoilers in comments***

Adjustments made in the story due to some criticism that I've received. Hopefully it will help it a bit more :)

Pre-Read by: TwilightUCrazy and Bakmah Genesis

Edited by: "mysterious beautiful stranger" and InsanityCorps

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 227 )
Comment posted by one piece wolf deleted Jul 8th, 2014
Comment posted by one piece wolf deleted Jul 14th, 2014

Another awesome one-shot from the master!

4663522 Isn't first-posting against the site rules?

Fuck yes, a sotry from a popular author without a cover image. Validates us small-time writers with non-cover-image-y stories.

I'll read this soon.

9 years is still fresh?

4663576
If it was your child, woundn't it be?

I thought it was pinkie pie being "her" but then they pinkie sweared so then I thought it was twilight, and will there be a sequel? Great story! And you said Apple jack was a bad "guy" that story was so awsome

I'll admit, I was shocked by the whole evil friend thing...Especially Applejack. For some reason, I suspected it was Twilight. I have no idea why, but I guess I thought that since you made one of the Mane 6 a bad guy, I thought you'd pick the main MAIN one, lol. And the imagery in the prison, and the conversation, and the thought of Applejack trying to kill a baby Draconequus, losing her hair in prison, her hat getting taken away, with nopony that forgave her...It was heartbreaking, all of it. It broke my heart, it really did.
But. It was written really, really well, which is why, despite my initial horror (though 'horror' is a bit much, since this is a story and therefore not canon), I kept going. I kept going because...Well, a few reasons. 1) Like I said, your writing is pretty fantastic, and I loved it. 2) Loptr is adorable and I love him...A little Draconequus with all the best parts of each of his parents. 3). FLUTTERCORD. ALL THE FLUTTERCORD. YES. :heart::heart::heart::heart:
So while it shocked me, I still kinda loved this, honestly. (Honesty...Ah, Applejack, you're killin' me.) Keep writing, please. (Especially if you wanna write more Fluttercord and Loptr.)
Although I will say, the idea that Applejack's family would abandon her, and for jail to be so hard on her with losing her hair and everything...Those were the hardest parts to believe. Still liked it though.

4663604 besides the fact i dont want kids i think 9 years is long enough holding a grudge is fine but in my opinion dont call the situation still fresh after 9 years but im just insensitive sometimes at somethings i may talk fine but i wont understand

Huh, honestly wasn't expecting Applejack to be the bad guy in this. Honestly thought it was Twilight to begin with, great job. :twilightsmile:

Amazing! I'm not sure if meant to make it seem like it was going to be Rarity or if that is just who I saw being the one but damn good job none the less.

Applejack?! What a twist!!!!!

4663737 sorry :twilightblush: could help myself.

4663558

I believe it is :pinkiecrazy:

And no downvotes! Really, you did very well with the whole thing.

Read the comments, of course.:facehoof: Still I wasn't expecting the part about what she actually did to Fluttershy's son, so good job on the amazingness!

I too also as well was expecting Twilight. But AJ makes sense. Very interesting read, and well done!

Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

Nice job. I thought it was Rainbow Dash -- Dash was Fluttershy's friend before she met any of the others, and she really hates Discord, and I could see her believing she was protecting her friend by doing that. Applejack surprised me. But I can see it.

“Ah’m sorry, but Ah was...” Applejack began, then lowered her head in shame. “But Ah’ve seen now that he does love ya... he has changed... Ah just wish Ah believed it back then... maybe then Ah wouldn’t have... done what Ah did.”:ajsleepy:

“You mean leave my baby to die?” Fluttershy venomously hissed out . “I let you hold him when he was born. I remember him bopping you on the nose and smiling.” She growled at the memory and launched herself at the shield, making Applejack nearly fall over her seat in surprise. “He was my child! My baby! And he could have died all alone in that horrible forest without me or his father! You did that to him you horrible witch! How dare you! How dare you do such a horrible thing to my son!”:flutterrage:

Watch out guys! Fluttershy is a badass now!
Loved it Faved!

In the first full paragraph, I found an error. It's hooves and not hoofs.

4664125
4664129 Actually, hoofs and hooves are both correct plurals of hoof.

i would like to know why you chose applejack (nothing against the idea i just want to know)

4664140
I thought it would be the least likely, yet logical one.

Well this story was interesting I really enjoyed it for some reason I thought this was the sequel to Enkindled Hearts for some reason when I was reading the description that's what I was thinking for some weird reason

I at first thought it was Pinkie Pie, then it was a surprise when you showed that it was Applejack! :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp: That was a twist::pinkiecrazy:.

I honestly torn. It's well written, it has a fascinating concept, but just didn't enjoy it. Perhaps it is because of the choice of antagonist, I never really got a feel for why she would do this, or the fact that Discord seemed far too domesticated, but I was never able to fully buy into the story.

Anyway, a lot of folks are enjoying it, maybe I just don't get it.

Well that was a good fic, it kept me interested then pulled a plot twist from behind the wool that was in my eyes.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

“Howdy, Fluttershy,” Applejack said softly as she sat down on the prisoner’s seat across from the shield.

W...what? I was expecting it to be either Twilight, Rarity, or even Pinkie. But Applejack? Holy shit...

4664282
That's why I choose her, nobody expected it

The moment I read the description I knew it was Applejack (been reading to much of the 'Savage skies series...)

>Ecocat<

Not gonna lie, I expected the bad guy to be Twilight. Second guess, Rainbow. Third, Rarity. Never was Applejack in that mind frame. You made a very good twist of the story. I give you the Highest of Fives.

sequel???? plz? chapter 2? anything?!

4663564

...What does the size of your following have to do with whether or not you use cover mages? :rainbowhuh:

I knew it would be Aj or Dash, Pinkie's never the culprit in this type of thing, it's an unspoken narrative law, and after how Twilight forgave Discord in the finale I knew it wouldn't be her, and Rarity would never do anything to hurt Fluttershy, out of the rest of their friends, aside from maybe Dash, Fluttershy is closets to Rarity. That only left Aj and Rd, both of whom would have thought they were "protecting" Flutters. And since Dashie is Fluttershy's foalhood friend, Aj, sadly, is the obvious culprit.

That was fucked up. *Like and Favs guiltily*

:trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

Why AJ no get reformation tho?! What, just because somebody important to them almost got killed the person can't be reformed? Please, Discord did worse... but whatever it's not that big of a deal i guess, I'm probably just biased towards AJ anyway. :ajsmug:

Signed,
--Pyro The AJFanBoy Reader

The whole time I was thought it was gonna be Pinkie Pie, considering you mentioned laughter a few times but never honesty. And honestly, I can see why you chose Applejack, out of the five options, she would be the one. Dash couldn't hurt Fluttershy, even indirectly, Twilight wouldn't do something so evil without breaking down first, Pinkie would be happy no matter what, and Rarity might harbor hate but wouldn't act on it. (at least that's how I think they would act)

To sum it all up, well done, you've earned a like and a fav from me.

My first guess was Rarity then Rainbow Dash

So...

Basically, Discord turns traitor to the entire kingdom, leaves everyone to be ruled by a tyrant, kids and all, oh and Discords happily going along with it till he's the one betrayed.

Applejack leaves a kid in a deadly forest. INSTANT LIFE TILL DEATH.

I don't mind the OOCness, but something is something wrong with that legal system.

4664464
I guess you can argue that Discord never killed anybody or tried to but it was either with Discord and Fluttershy or Chrysalis and Twilight and I didn't want to do the latter

4664474

She didn't either by that logic, considering what Discord did could likely kill people or leave them mentally unstable, or if Tirek started killing people Discord likely wouldn't have cared either since he didn't care what he did...

I mean it's just a large horse pill to swallow for this story... And it's what ruins it for me, sorry.

4664481
Eh, it's fine. Thanks for reading :)

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