• Member Since 20th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Zennistrad


Card game enthusiast, overambitious writer, Jeskai tempomancer, and general nerd of various kinds. Check out my works if you like adventure, card games, crossovers, or other random happenings.

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Source

This story is a sequel to Discord Visits the Afterlife


Though Ponyville at large is still mourning Fluttershy, Discord remains entirely unperturbed by the loss of his first friend. The reason becomes clear when he offers to take Twilight and her friends to visit Fluttershy in the Elysium.

Cover image from blanconeitoor on DeviantArt.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 53 )

So unless I'm wildly off the mark, Discord's method consisted of, well, killing the mane six and meeting them once they duly end up in Elysium?

... I suppose that does seem like the most direct way of getting people to the afterlife.

Whoa, loving the sequel already! Also sorry about the mortality gloom you have going on, but also glad to hear that you are working through it constructively from the looks of it.

Closest analogue to your feelings were me as a kid, i used to have nightmares of a sort where I'd imagine myself being dead and just not existing anymore. Real spooky stuff that kept me up at night...

Anywho, looking forward to the other half!

“Make way, make way!” Discord called out. “The greatest ship in all of Equestria has arrived!”

:rainbowlaugh:

And then Twilight and her friends exploded.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

“And I guess some of us see it than others,” she whispered.

"more than others" perhaps? Also ouchies

8709472
I'm pretty sure he didn't kill them given he said that he never said they had to DIE to get there and that they would only be visiting for a little bit. Logic chaos or otherwise would dictate that he has a non death way of transporting them in an explody sort of way, kinda like when Twilight became an Alicorn. No one in any official media stated she died and got reborn, only teleported to a different plane that apparently Celestia is able to visit whenever she wants.

8709477

"more than others" perhaps?

Fixed, thank you.

“What, that?” said Twilight. Her eyes glanced briefly to the flower. On closer examination, it appeared to be a lotus of some kind, its petals coated in a lustrous, waxy coat that shimmered beneath the light. “But it’s just a flower. I’m pretty sure it just comes with the vase.”

Ahh yes a black lotus reference

I see Discord has good taste in Wii games.

So far this sequel doesn't have as much humor as the first one-shot, although that's understandable if you just lost someone close to you. I wonder if you're going somewhere with the Time Turner subplot or if that was just a throwaway reference that went over my head. Anyway, I'll be tracking this to see if Applejack will see her parents again, and also to see if this story will mention Fluttershy's family.

8712182

I wonder if you're going somewhere with the Time Turner subplot or if that was just a throwaway reference that went over my head.

It’s not something that’s especially important to this story, though it might make a bit more sense if you’re familiar with the My Little Planeswalker series.

Huh. Samus as the daughter of Flash Magnus. That's a brilliant bit of insanity. And Dragonlord Ridley is an amazing if horrifying mental image.

Weird. Normally it's Elysium or the Elysian Fields. I don't think I've ever seen the article used with the first option.

Make way, make way!” Discord called out. “The greatest ship in all of Equestria has arrived!”

I see neither magical sparks nor two-toned suns on that hull, so I'm going to have to call foul. :raritywink:

Hmm... for some reason I feel like any comment I make on that statement would be both in poor taste and potentially offensive.

"And yet, I feel less inclined to say something. How bizarre."

Heh. Poor Dr. Turner. There are Ditzies out there who could tell you stories about being prepared for sudden name changes.

Hmm. Now I wonder if there's a lotus vale somewhere in the Everfree.

You're handling the topic very gracefully. Looking forward to more, whether or not the rest of the Mane Six has to make their way through the Underwhere first.

And then Twilight and her friends exploded.

Damn Discord, I know you like to do things a little over the top, but you better clean the mess before they come back.

There have been very few things that get me to think “oh dear” then “I have to know how this goes” in rapid succession. This was one of them.

This story just got ninety three times better.

No, really. I loved the interactions with Epona, the comical pacing, the philosophical implications and Pinkie's rant (altough now I'm not sure about her sanity or if she really is that simple and her mental power is subconcius, or if she is conciously thinking about deep existencial phylosophics, and fakes a persona because she knows that she can't mantain her friends if she doesn't... I have oficially gone too deep.)

Also, the explanation about the difference between planes kind of makes sense.

You have become one of my favourite writers on this site.

DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!

Is it wrong that my first thought here was "Superintendent Chalmers!"?

In any case, definitely one of the nicer demiurges I've ever seen. Always noce to see a god with a sense of humor, especially one who can laugh at herself. Now to see if the group can track down Fluttershy.

I guess Epona won't let the ponies remember Elysium because living mortals aren't supposed to know what happens after death. Nonetheless, if all but one of the main characters forget what happens, it's like it never happened for them, which means they don't learn anything, which makes me wonder why I should get invested in what Dash and her pony friends get up to. We might as well just focus on Discord since he's the only one that matters in this tale. I'm sorry, but making your main characters forget what happens in their story is almost as bad as the "it was all just a dream" ending.

Edit: I should add that I think the biggest problem is not so much that the characters are going to forget, but that this revelation came so early in the narrative. I think that's what's really putting me off. The ending has been given away, so now I'm wondering why anyone is even bothering.

But maybe I'm too cynical and jaded.

8784400

While I appreciate the attempt at criticism here, I don’t think I can agree.

First off, I don’t believe it would make sense in-universe for a benevolent deity to avoid mentioning the very important detail “hey, you’re not going to remember any of this,” especially not one when Honesty is a characteristic that deity had personally made to be integral to the harmony of the world. Epona would likely see it as cruelty to omit that information.

Secondly, the claim that “you know what will happen” is... not true. You don’t know how this is going to work. You can probably make some kind of guess, but unless you can read my mind you can’t really “memory loss” plot point will end up working in practice, or how it will actually play out in the end. You’re making a lot of assumptions about how the characters may or may not be impacted that I don’t really feel are justified.

8784570
It's not so much a criticism as a personal turn-off. I just don't like the timing or the way that the future memory loss was revealed in this chapter. In order for me to keep going I need to know why the characters would bother to find Fluttershy other than simply killing time, but that hasn't been explained, yet. Why would they do something they know they're going to forget?

8784586

Why would they do something they know they're going to forget?

How can you be sure that I wasn’t planning on addressing this exact point, though? Again, I feel like your response is jumping to conclusions about where this story is going.

*Sheds liquid pride*

I remember a head canon I liked. Now in this one Twilight wasn't an alicorn but her daughter was and she was worried that her daughter would have to live so long and lose everyone they loved. Celestia showed her a glimpse of the afterlife saying that while alicorns are all but immortal and won't join the dead for a very long time, they could still visit every now and then. Maybe Twilight can be like Discord and visit.

I hope this chapter helped you come to terms with whatever you've been grappling with. Excellent work with its emotional intensity.

My eyeballs have become cryballs :fluttershbad:

This is beautiful.

Thanks for this. This was a good chapter.

I hope we get to hear from AJ's parents at some point, talking about their visit.

Typo:

you’ve got another thing coming!

think

This idiom is about thinking like in "think again".

9134626

Er... no?

I don’t know how to say this other than that it’s not true. It’s a common phrase, enough so there are entire songs named after it.

9135085
And there are songs that use "could care less" (CoughCrysaliscough), irregardless, giving free "reiGn", etc.
Original idiom:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/have_another_think_coming

9137971

Literally the first link on that page:

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/have_another_thing_coming#English

I don't even mind nitpicking grammar, but there's no mistake here.

9138193
"Alternative form" as in:

The form to have another thing coming is often seen, and may have been aided by a mishearing of the /k/ of think blended with the /k/ of coming, making think sound like thing

https://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/08/44-everyday-phrases-you-might-not-know-youve-been-saying-incorrectly/
#12

Anyway EOT.

“Make way, make way!” Discord called out. “The greatest ship in all of Equestria has arrived!”

Pffffft Discord you tease.

CLIFFHANGERRRRRR:raritydespair:

Oh well at least there's another chapter:derpytongue2:

Okay, I am officially a massive fan of your portrayal of a classical Graeco-Roman afterlife. You perfectly balanced the different aspects of Fausticorn Epona's personality. I honestly wouldn't mind if the real God was actually like that.

I am literally tearing up right now. Whenever I get really into a good story, I start doing the voices for the characters out loud, and it physically hurt to do Rainbow's lines, but I did them anyway because I HAD to. I HAD to give this masterpiece the respect and the effort that it deserves. Even more so since I just lost my grandma.

I know this story isn't over yet, but I have to say it. Thank you, Zennistrad. For everything.

I just discovered this story thanks to the Feature Box (still have to check out the first story), and spent the last twenty minutes or so sitting in an admittably poorly-lit room reading this while an old music record played in another room.

And I have one thing to say. Wow.

WOW.

This story is amazing. The discussion in Fluttershy's cottage, Epona, Rainbow Dash, how you handled Twilight's longevity, and this whole chapter... I haven't been this amazed by a multi-chapter story in a while.

In the name of whatever higher power may exist, how does this not have more likes!? Have a Like, Favorite, and a "Tracking".

Wow.

Heh... For once, I actually have a plausible excuse for the water in my eyes: fumes from curing a cast-iron pot. Doesn't make my heart ache any less.

“Looks like it’s time for me to go,” said Applejack. “Ma, pa... Ah’ll never what y’all meant to me. Thank you.”

You forgot a "forget".

We all have to take that last ride... Just don't care for the schedule that's all :ajsmug:


:raritystarry: Spike! there you are...We're getting married.
:moustache: What? Where? When?
:duck: Here and NOW! Twilight you may begin !
:twilightoops: WUT?
:pinkiehappy: That's what happens when you explode.

:moustache: Discord? I don't know if I should thank him or tear up and burn his O&O character sheet....
Know more dead friends then alive. We all will take that last ride -[ Even if you don't like it ]

Is that a Super Paper Mario reference I spy at the end there?

Clearly written from the heart, and I mean that in a very good way. Thank you for an incredibly intense chapter.

This is sad, but good sad. Cathartic sad.

They discarded two cards and drew three:trollestia:

Bright Mac stepped forward. His initial shock had worn away, and he approached Applejack slowly, with a smile in his face and a sadness in his eyes. "You don’t have to say anything. Ah know it can be a lot to take in."

He thinks she's dead too, doesn't he.

"No, it’s fine. It’s just... Honey, you do understand what it means that our daughter is here, right?"

Bright Mac's eyes went wide, and he silently mouthed an 'oh.'

Oh. Well, close enough.

Thanks for sharing this with us. I hope it helped you.

And I hope these ponies get to take some peace with them, even if their memories fade.

Well, thanks for making me cry every chapter. It's been nice. I'm really, really hoping the last chapter, if you write more, will have Fluttershy coming back to life, or at least allowing the re-Mane-ing 5 to keep their memories.

9138193
>flutterdash
you had one fucking opportunity and you fucking bungled it
one job to do and your useless ass couldn't just do it
had to fuck it up
you pathetic waste of flesh
do the world a favor and stop living

9844989

Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten that off your chest?

“You have my word that I will not return before your friends get here. Cross my heart and hope to fly.”

Cross my heart and hope to die more like.

And then Twilight and her friends exploded.

:rainbowlaugh: hey now, wait a minute...

When Twilight’s senses finally recovered, her jaw immediately dropped at what she saw. Standing before the group, glowing with an intense luminosity, was the largest being Twilight had ever seen. Her image was that of a white alicorn, standing at well over a hundred feet tall, each one of Her legs as wide and towering as an entire skyscraper in Manehattan. Her mane was a muted reddish brown, yet at once it seemed to burn with the fire of a thousand suns. Six brilliant wings of brilliant white feathers folded out from Her back, and on Her side Twilight could just barely make out a cutie mark of an inkwell and quill.

Lol. The Fausticorn has arrived.

Twilight’s ears perked up. She gently sniffled, letting the heavenly air of the Elysium clear her sinuses. “Y-you... you know me?”

Gosh, I want heavenly air to clear my sinuses! That's some good air!

“Just who the hay do you think you are, telling us we can’t be here? Why should we listen to you, huh?”

Dafuq? Is she braindead? This is how you get smote.

“ Rainbow! ” Twilight yelled. “Stop taunting God!”

Wow, those are the absolute most sensible words ever spoken.

Who else but her would create an entire world of little ponies, after all?

I can think of a few

I'm glad you've written this fic too... Our mortality holds us close, not letting us know what waits.

A Farewell Poem:

Winter returning
Peering into forever
One forgets treasure

Nicely bittersweet. Glad to hear this fic helped you process some stuff. Thank you for it.

Now all Shy has to worry about is the occasional Discord visit.

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