• Member Since 7th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 28th, 2023

NavyPony


Navypony is a submariner in the US Navy, but he earns his name for his understanding and love of ships and shipping. Yes, that's shipping ponies.

T

It's been a thousand years. Princess Luna is returned, and the castle staff must scramble to see that she has servants to attend to her needs, and just as importantly, that they look the part. Of course, it turns out that it's rather difficult to find competent servants on such short notice. A hooffull of servants are chosen based on their appearance and duties, and are assigned to serve the Moon Goddess as personal retainers until more suitable replacements can be found. When coloring, Cutie Mark, and chance coincide, one of the castle's junior stewards is thrust into a role any loyal servant ought to jump at: Lunar Hoofservant. Unfortunately for Nightlight, Princess Luna is far more demanding than her older sister, and being her servant means contending with an unforgiving goddess who demands nothing short of perfection. Furthermore, somepony must be responsible for the inevitable failure. The duty of "Royal Hoofservant" just might be synonymous with "Royal Scapegoat."
Saddled with responsibility far beyond his post and expected to fail, Nightlight has no choice but to quit his post or to become the servant that Luna needs. This is the story of a pony's development from colt to stallion, and from servant to leader.
Thanks much to DirePony for the editing and story direction he's graciously provided me.
Rated 'Teen' for alcohol use, mild innuendo/sexual references, and pony-swears.
Not based on the (excellent) sci-fi novel of the same name by Robert Heinlein.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 271 )

No tags so kinda reluctant to start reading but from description it doesn't seem to bad.

interesting story i shall read and track :moustache:

[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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

How far the fanon has come from the shy, meek Luna we interpreted her to be after the second episode. :)

I'm glad to see her *finally* extend a small recognition of Nightlight's effort to follow her orders, too, however he may fail to accomplish all of them. I was beginning to worry you were going to be writing her as a complete monster.

Very, very interesting story. I like it. Alot.

How often do you think you shall be updating? I'm a Luna fan, and this is a very interesting story, indeed.

[Edit: Redundancy ftw]

@DoctorWhooves: I pretend it has the 'Serious' Tag. Which doesn't exist. yeah.
EDIT: And am adding the SoL tag, because it's the most appropriate here. yeah.
@FaceDeer: Yes, well... she'll get worse before she gets better.
On the subject of which,
@BassTheBrony: Chapters 4 and 5 are already finished, I'm just holding on to them so there's some faked regularity in my update schedule.
and to everypony saying good things, thanks much.
EDIT: And to everypony holding back on saying bad things, you don't have to.

No tags. Not sure if want. :ajbemused:

878315

What he said. Your description sounds like this story has some good merit to it, (and I'll probably read this later tonight and give you my thoughts). However I would like to get a sense of what this story will be. (is it a comedy? slice of life? Romance? Adventure? Grimdark?)

I read your comment about it having a "serious" tag (which doesn't exist, hence the lack of tags.) Although It would be nice to at least see one tag. (Even if you plan on it being a serious fic, I'm sure you can find one tag that your story falls into.)

Don't worry too much though, it's not like the lack of tags is some kind of mortal sin or whatever (Heck, regular books don't even come with tags anyway.) But I just feel like it's a courtesy to the reader.

Your ability to convey the constant, oppressive intimidation of Nightlight's service very good. The castle is a harsh place for the staff, and I could really feel the dread of having to face Luna again and again to be ordered around and berated. I sure am glad I don't work there!

The only thing I thought was a little weird was the confrontation outside the club with the guards. Nightlight threatens the guards and nothing happens? What's up with that?

878848There is nothing bad to say about this...are you charlie sheen? because you are winning.:pinkiehappy:

A reader pointed out to me that Nightlight's name is mispelled in chapter three as 'Nighright'.
That was intentional; it isn't I that doesn't know the character's name - it's the speaker.

Is the title an intentional reference to Heinlein's book?

911019 That would be correct. I was rereading said novel some time ago, and was suddenly struck with inspiration, based on the personality we saw in Luna Eclipsed. Keeping the title drew it together succinctly, and thus this fanfic was born.

You've definitely got talent. I write a lot of Luna-centered stories myself, and I gotta say the tension is palpable here. Just from when he approached the Night Guards to the moment her eyes snapped open, that was just golden writing. Very good. I am definitely going to keep reading this one.

It's hard to really like this incarnation of Luna. I'm reminded of a great dog that needs to be swatted on the muzzle to make it calm the buck down. Who, exactly, can do that and live to tell the tale is beyond me. However, I can't fault you for Luna's potency. This is LITERALLY her first night back, so of course she's not accustomed to the way things are in this utopian Equestria. If the Royal Canterlot voice was used so much a thousand years ago, I can't imagine what Celestia was like back then. Using one's voice to keep normal ponies down, they must've been forceful rulers indeed back then.

I'm interested to see how Luna will be, for lack of a better word, "tamed."

Ahhhh, so put her in a LIBRARY and she shuts the buck up, mostly. Got iiiiit. :ajsmug: Seems even the Princess of the Night respects the rules of a library.

You're very, very good at conveying the constant intimidation and tension in your writing. I can feel it oozing off the page, especially when using the clock, or distance count-downs to reinforce things like the breakfast scene or his being delivered to Luna.

My only nagging complaint is that we didn't get to see what she was reading. :rainbowhuh:

It's hard to like this version of Luna at first glance. But I have to remind myself she's probably completely out of sorts, and she is treating everyone with the same disdain. I like the little hints that everyone, from the chief stewards to the guards, are all at a bit of a loss, and are actually showing some degree of sympathy in the cracks of their professionalism.

You've definitely gotten my attention with this, and I'm waiting eagerly for more.

Your fic is great and you should feel great

Aw man, poor guy. :applecry:

Bad Cop Luna is best Luna, though.

great fic great plot, story etc

Criminy. It's well past time for Nightlight to take a lesson from Her Royal Highness and *rip those other ponies a new one*. Where does the Royal Chef get off refusing to prepare food the way a Princess wants? And three librarians who *all* refuse to give a simple answer to a straightforward question? I'm starting to have trouble believing the immense unprofessionalism of the castle staff.

Dangit. I want moar!

This is fantastic. Keep it up!:pinkiehappy:

Well, he's bucked. Should not have moved that mirror.......

Y'know, there needs to be a turning point somewhere along the line. If Luna is going to be this titanica of impossible-to-impress, it's going to make for a very frustrating story. I've kind'a come to the point where stuff either needs to start happening, or I need to put the story down. Luna has not conversed with Celestia much beyond the breakfast-- is not one complaining about how Luna is behaving, and how different things are in this era?

That and the constant abuse of Nightlight. When is the poor guy gonna break and just splat Luna's dinner into her face. He's becoming more and more unlikeable because he's acting like a spineless baby. Leave the palace. Turn IN your resignation in paper form. Find ANOTHER job elsewhere. You obviously don't have the spine to give Luna what she NEEDS, rather than what she wants.

This story is getting more and more frustrating as time goes on. I'll read one more chapter after this, then I'm prolly gonna put it down. :ajbemused:

I'm loving this. I feel SO sorry for poor Nightlight. As your Equestria Daily pre-reader when you initially submitted, I hope you'll be continuing this, and re-submitting it soon after the edit pass I suggested. We need more fics like this!

... And like Aegis there, I'm wondering when he's just going to snap and go tell Luna to take a flying leap. Odds are good that it'll be the first time she's impressed by somepony actually showing some spine.

This story isn't having enough attention payed to it. I can't understand the lack of views this is receiving.
Abusive Luna is abusive, and awesome. Want to see NL in more impossible situations. :trollestia:

I hope Harvest Moon is okay though.

950485
Why doesn't Nightlight doesn't splat Luna's dinner in her face or stand up to her? Think of the leader of your country AND a major figure in your religion, then combine them. Now imagine screaming at them and hitting them. He's been pretty much conditioned to respect and obey the Princess. Spineless baby? He's already resigned and is planning to move on.

I do agree though, this is starting to become a little frustrating to read. The castle staff is insufferable and I want to slap almost all of them, except the poor assistant chef. Luna is continuing to be a force of angry and unpleasable. Something does need to happen, one way or another.

You have attained my interest, I shall read later... Also lack of a Shipping tag is a BIG relief compared to a lot of the annoying newer stuff.

Faving now, will comment when I read it :twilightsmile:

I would like to read something inspired by Robert Heinlen

But this is just fine

955842

The assistant chef is also unlikeable to me. She refuses to make food and doesn't even bend the rules for the princess? She's not dedicated, she's just hiding behind her orders. That would be like one of the kitchen staff in the White House saying "lolno can't cook for the president! Cuz the head chef said I couldn't!" That's hardheadedness and borderline dereliction of duty. Heck most of the castle staff is like this and it makes me want to fucking KILL them.

@NavyPony:
Thanks for sharing this, looking forward to the ending.

Jerkass!Luna is awesome.

Okay, I was about to start reading this, but then you reminded me of Robert Heinlein, then that made me think of science fiction, so therefore I got distracted reading Asimov again.

Interesting...

I concut that Luna is going to have a bot of an attitude adjustment - as are the castle staff. Somepony needs to tell Luna that is she keeps acting like she is, she's going to end up just as isolated and alone as a thousand years prior. A spoonful of sugar catches more flies and all that.

I rather think Nightlight's sudden decision to buck everyone else is indicative that he's far from spineless. Perhaps snarling to a goddess face about how unreasonable she's being is beyond him; but then again, he doesn't strike me as the especially strong personality type who'd be up to that, and Luna is nothing is not overwhelmingly boistrous. It'd be like taking a shouting at from BRIAN BLESSED if he was your God-King - sheer volume and force of personality would drive out most lesser mortals's cognitive processes!

I look forward to the continuation.

When I saw this make it to Eq Daily, it jogged my memory that I saw this when it first came out and was planning on reading it.

Sorry for forgetting :s, but I'm here now, and I gotta say: I'm impressed with the quality.

The character of Nightlight is well done and your interpretation of Luna is radically different from all the characterizations I have read thus far. It's interesting and has captured my interest to see this continue.

Although I do share many commenter's sentiments about the frustration. It's like the staff wants Nightlight to fail. the amount of asinine, moronic jerkiness emanating from the castle staff in regards to Nightlight is infuriating. The status quo has been set and has ample time to assert itself. Now it's time to turn it on it's head. Something needs to happen. I'm expecting Nightlight is going to finally stop being so scared and finally talk to Luna straight next chapter.

Although, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter to this. This is honestly entertaining! I can't wait to see how the relationship between Nightlight and Luna develops and evolves.

976668
Eh, orders are orders. Unless someone higher up tells you directly, you follow what's been told you to from your direct superior. I have the feeling she would actually like to help, but would rather not be screamed at and fired. There's the case where she poisoned a bunch of people, so there's good reason. It's not a matter of being lazy rather than avoiding trouble the best way she can.

977996

And yet she refuses to even heat up food because he's being "mean"?... I dunno how you view that as anything but foalish :P but either way, poor damn Nightlight. His life just got so much worse so quickly!

I've quite enjoyed this chapter and look forward to very shortly reading the next one.

However:
"It was 6:18 pm, ninety-eight minutes until sunset, and he had eight minutes left to come to grips with his new job."
"Eventually, his eyes wandered upon a tiny clock on the mantle: 6:09 pm."
Did you mean to write those times in the opposite order?

Someone's a fan of Ecclesiastes (or perhaps Solomon), eh?
:3

Interesting Perspective for a Story. Your take on Princess Luna also intrigues me
That wasn't a very good Start for Nightlight a.deviantart.net/avatars/s/a/sarcasticlunaplz.jpg
However the difference in Time makes me Wonder if this is a Test by Luna to judge the worthiness of her personal Servant.

I shall track and read this. a.deviantart.net/avatars/n/e/newlunaisseriousplz.png

978303
Oh. Good catch. That's a layover from previous incarnations; i changed the time of sunset multiple times while writing ch1. Thanks; it's corrected.

So, in general... wow. EQD response has been spectacular, and I'm greatly enjoying the comments. It seems like there's a some argument on the natures Nightlight, Luna, as well as a smattering about Harvest. That's good. I like it, but keep in mind that Luna's a flat character so far. We can only see her from the perspective of 'the lowest of her servants', not from somepony who can even try talking to her on even footing. That's for chapter five.

Oh, and all of you talking about the book this was named after, go read it. It's spectacular. Then read Starship Troopers, because it's also by him, and it's the best piece of military literature I've ever read.

Oh please update, it's hilarious.

Even I have a hard time accepting this Luna.
Her attitude was in fact not a test to judge the worthiness of her personal Servant by standing up to her and Moonrise and in fact the Night being late is a very serious offense however rather than blame the Pony who was assigned to her, who 1 Day prior didn't even know what a personal hoofservant was she should blame the Organization responsible namely the Palace Staff who didn't prepare her attendant enough for this very important Task.

Of course as this is her first Night, many things she takes for granted are probably not in Place anymore in this new Canterlot so some form of acceptance to the changes should also exist in her to begin with very interested if Luna will adept and what factors into that.

And in Drunken Stupors lies Life's Wisdom :pinkiecrazy: no but seriously your take on Berry Bunch was awesome.

Also is that Princess Luna slowly changing that I caught a glimpse their in the later Sentences that would be amazing now if only the Ponies around Princess Luna would grow a Spine. :flutterrage:

Luna doesn't need Bootlickers every way maybe she expects that, but someone who stands up to her would do her more good.

I am thoroughly intrigued, I can not wait to read what happens next.

Oh Goddesses that Ending :pinkiesick:

alright next Chapter all Hell is gonna break lose, though maybe the poor guy will finally grow a Spine and stand up to Princess Luna and at his incompetent Superiors ALL of them. That Luna has been plagued with Castle Staff of this Magnitude of worthlessness is shocking a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/u/lunamadplz.png

Track for the title reference alone, and the first chapter was pretty good too.

Poor, poor Nightlight. Alas, we knew him somewhat well.

Login or register to comment