The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

by NavyPony

Day and Night

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
by NavyPony

Chapter Five:
Day and Night

She Stared.

‘Your Highness! I’m so sorry! It’s just that-’ Nightlight was completely bewildered. ‘The buck’s going on here?’ he swore to himself.

The princess wasn’t in his room. In fact, he wasn’t in his room. ‘Why aren’t I in my room? For that matter, where am I?’ And more interestingly: ‘Why do I have the feeling that there’s something important I have to tell Princess Celestia?’

First off, he didn’t know what was occurring at the moment, besides the fact that he was walking. Or trotting, rather. Nonetheless, it was a start, and it probably answered question two: he wasn’t in his room because he’d walked/trotted out. It didn’t explain why he’d walked out, but at least it was something, right? The next question, Nightlight’s location, was easily deciphered. It was a hallway, made of the same stone as the castle, spartanly decorated, and too narrow for a full-sized alicorn to comfortably traverse. ‘Definitely one of the servants’ passages,’ he recognized. ‘So then where does this one lead… oh. Oh no.’ At the far end of the hallway, above a small door that was much too ornate for a regular servants’ entrance, hung a large placard embossed with a simple warning: ‘THRONE ROOM: do not enter without official business’.

He couldn’t think of any official business he had besides packing up his things and turning in an official resignation to Snowy Slopes, and both of those things should’ve been done on the other side of the castle. ‘So why… can’t… I… stop?’ Something was wrong with his hooves. Nightlight tried turning around – no effect. He tried halting in his tracks – no effect. He tried to simply slow down – no effect.

He tried swearing aloud – no effect.

‘So apparently you have the urge to go talk to the Princess of Equestria, you’re headed to her throne room right now, you don’t know what you’re supposed to say, and you can’t even move your mouth. Why do you want to do this, exactly?’

Easy answer: he didn’t. Which was all well and good, but it brought up questions with much more difficult answers. Questions such as: ‘Why am I still entering the throne room?’ or ‘Why am I telling the guards that I have a message for Princess Celestia?’ and perhaps most importantly, ‘What is my message?’ That last one was most important because he probably had nine seconds befo-

“Excuse me, your Highness?” A calm, quiet pony spoke, addressing the Sun Goddess from the foot of her multi-tiered throne. Silence. Mumbling background noise disintegrated into deafening quiet. Somepony not on today’s agenda was speaking to Princess Celestia, and every one of the chamber’s occupants looked up from their business (or lack thereof) in interest. Joining the throng of nobles and servants doing the same, Nightlight surveyed the room in search of the voice’s source, only to come across an unfortunate realization. Every eye in the room was on him.

Said eyes included the pale magenta orbs of the most powerful pony in the world. ‘No, wait. What about Luna? I mean… Aren’t they co-sovereigns or something? Maybe they’re tied?’ Things used to be so simple. ‘Well, Celestia still holds more political power, so I guess…’ Nightlight’s internal monologue served only to distract him; almost too late he realized that Princess Celestia was answering him. “Yes?” she intoned melodically, a gentle smile on her face as she examined the dark-coated steward. “Nightlight, I believe it is?”

Confusion: ‘Wait. Wait wait wait. WAIT. That’s not possible. Surely she misspoke. She can’t know my name. Star Quill doesn’t know my name. Not even Luna knows my name – she just calls me ‘hoofservant’. But-’

Shock: ‘It doesn’t matter how. She knows my name. Celestia knows my name. Princess Celestia of Equestria knows me, Nightlight! This is-’

Excitement: ‘Incredible! Think of the opportunity! If she knows my name then maybe-’

Realization: ‘She knows what I do in the castle. Which means that-’

Fear: ‘She knows how much I’ve failed her sister and-’

Despair: ‘I’m screwed.’

Numbness: ‘…’

“Yes, Princess. I have a message on behalf of your sister, Her Royal Highness Princess Luna.” The panic playing out in his head remained indiscernible to his audience; Nightlight’s voice remained perfectly composed. “Though she has retired for the morning, she desires to speak with you at your next convenience.” Something seemed weird in that sentence. ‘She’s retired for the morning? Isn’t it still the evening?’

Celestia found the statement perfectly reasonable, or at the very least gave no indication to the contrary. “Of course, thank you,” she answered, adding the most delicate of nods and ignoring the whispers running through the crowd. “Oh Snowy?” she called lightly. “What’s my schedule look like for this morning?”

There it was again – morning. It wasn’t morning, it was evening. Princess Luna had woken him up in the evening.

An old unicorn stallion with a pale coat materialized from behind the throne, shocking Nightlight enough to jumpstart his brain. ‘Has he been there the whole time? He just stepped out of nowhere and… Oh. I’m… What the hay am I doing? I’m talking to…’ Whether on account of chance or self-preservation, his brain managed to gloss over that part when the little pony in his head corrected him. ‘No, you were talking to Princess Celestia. And that, unfortunately, brings up another question: how, precisely, was that possible? How can you form whole sentences? Weren’t we brain dead? Why is she holding court if it’s not the daytime? AND WHAT THE BUCKING HAY IS GOING ON HERE!?’

Nightlight’s disturbed ruminations on the subject were not only fruitless, they were distracting. He missed Slopes’ answer (‘Maybe you were drugged.’). Then he missed the question Celestia followed up with (‘Perhaps you’re being possessed?’). He noticed neither the Head Steward’s response nor the declaration the Princess gave to the throne room afterwards (‘It could be parasites. Or zebra voodoo!’). It was the collective gasp of every other pony in the chamber that pulled Nightlight from his reverie.

“But my appointment!” a mare yelled from deep within the crowd.

“What are we going to do?” whinnied another.

“I need to speak to you right away!” shouted a pegasus floating above the crowd.

“But… But… This isn’t fair!” whined an especially petulant-sounding unicorn.

“Your Highness, we need your help!” brayed a self-important stallion.

“My appointment is absolutely urgent!” declared a griffon loudly.

“You can’t abandon us like this!” cried another mare, visibly tearing up.

“It’s for the stability of our nation!” announced a deep-voiced noble.

The Sovereign of Equestria (or was that Co-Sovereign now?) maintained her perfect calm in the face of this rapidly spreading discontent. “My little ponies.” She spread her wings serenely and took to her feet, pastel mane wafting as she descended her throne’s dais. “Anypony that wishes to reschedule an audience may speak to my steward.” Slopes reared up on his hind legs so that he could be seen above the crowd. “Priority will be given to those with the most important business.”

Hell broke loose. The entire room galloped, flew, or fought their way towards the Head Steward, ignoring almost everything and everypony in their way. Princess Celestia, by grace of her being a princess, was spared from the onslaught, but Nightlight was nearly trampled before he could crawl to the nearest side-exit. Then they began screaming.

“Start-up capital to help new businesses!”

“A grant for under-educated earth ponies!”

“My family will starve without a tax extension!”

“Scholarships for the foals of disabled Wonderbolts!”

“I need funding for my research! It could save lives!”

“Bridlevale’s farmers will go bankrupt without additional subsidies!”

“Fiscal backing for the DSTA!”

“We must discuss the trade relations between our nations!”

“Auntie cut my spending money again!”

The faintest edge of a grimace emerged on Celestia’s face when she heard this last remark. “Oh, and Snowy?” Her chipper voice rang through the din much as her long legs allowed her to cut through the crowd. “I don’t know how long this is going to take, so…”

He was practically floating in a maelstrom of ponies, but the old steward still managed to levitate a trio of clipboards, send hoof signals to the Royal Guard, and shout his affirmations to the Princess. “Understood, your Majesty! It’s already done!”

“Thank you!” she called over her shoulder before finally arriving at Nightlight’s position at the edge of the room. “Now then, shall we go?”

Nightlight was not thrilled. Certainly Princess Celestia, of all ponies, ought to know her way about Castle Canterlot. After all, she’d lived here for hundreds years, so there was no way she could get lost. ‘And her guards?’ They’d stayed behind to help Slopes keep control of the crowd, but it wasn’t as if she actually needed the burly pegasi, and even if she did, it wasn’t as if Nightlight would be much protections against a would-be assassin. Which left only one reason that she’d ask a pony to follow her: Princess Celestia wanted to talk.

“Tell me about yourself, my little pony,” she requested. Or commanded. When it came to nobility and royalty, there wasn’t much difference.

The young steward responded automatically, not entirely thinking about his answers – apparently he was still halfway on autopilot. “What would you like to know, your Highness?”

Nightlight looked over his shoulder at the mare following him only to find her smiling plainly back. “Whatever you want to talk about. What’s important to you?”

He paused, looking forwards again as he considered the question. ‘What’s important to me?’ Last week he’d probably have said his job was important to him. This was actually the opportunity that most ponies dreamed about – the chance to gain favor with Princess Celestia, and all he wanted to do was end it as soon as possible. Nonetheless, his answer had to be: “My family, Your Highness.”

Celestia answered so quickly that she must have predicted what he was going to say. “Tell me about your family.”

But then, he should’ve expected this follow-up. “Well… my mother’s a unicorn, my father’s an earth pony. They’re married, and umm, he took her family name. She works as a supervisor at the powerplant, and he’s a doorman at a, uh, bar downtown.” He paused, waiting for the most respectable pony in the world to say something about his father’s profession, but she didn’t. “Umm, I have three sisters. Two are older than I am, one’s younger.” ‘What else, what else?’ “My oldest sister is also a unicorn, the other two are earth ponies. Umm…” ‘What else, what else?’ “My oldest sister works nights at the same powerplant as my mom, and my younger sister is in construction…”

“And the middle sister?”

“She, uh, still lives at home. Most of the time. She hasn’t been able to find a job.” He noticed a concerned look coming from the princess and… ‘Oh clop, she doesn’t think I’m blaming her for…’ He scrambled to recover. “But um, it’s not because of the economy, or anything like that. I don’t mean to imply that. She just, uh, isn’t really motivated. Kind of lazy, actually.” An even stranger look came his way. “I mean, I love her! It’s just that, uhh…” What was he going to say? This was the Princess!

She, however, seemed to find Nightlight’s fears trivial. “It’s quite alright. We’re all different, and it takes everypony their own time to find their place in the world. It’s kind of like a second cutie mark.”

Whew.

“And yourself? You’ve told me about your family, but what about you?”

Gulp. “Uhh… pardon me, but how do you mean, your Majesty?”

She laughed. It was a light, bubbly laugh both beautiful for the sound and intimidating for the pony making it. “The usual way, of course. How else would I mean it?”

‘Buck me.’ Pretty soon there were going to be two alicorns who thought he was a fool. “Y-y-yes, your Majesty. I’m, I’m sorry, it’s just… I don’t have much experience dealing with royalty, and I’m…” The term ‘freaking out’ came to mind, but didn’t seem like the right words to use. “I’m just an assistant steward.”

“Don’t be worried, it’s quite alright,” Celestia assuaged. “I’m rather used to ponies being nervous around me. Although… I’d say you have more experience dealing with royalty than most servants, considering your newest assignment.” She smiled at him sweetly. “And you certainly have more experience serving my sister than anypony else.”

So... she didn’t just think Nightlight was stupid, she was calling him a liar, too. He maintained his silence.

“Speaking of my sister…”

‘Oh Goddess, let’s not talk about all the times I’ve bucked up.’

“How did you get chosen for the job?”

Oh. That. “Umm, that’s…” What was the best way to explain this? And did she really not know? “I was getting ready for my duties – I work for the night stewards, right?”

She laughed again, the same cheerful sound. “Yes, you mentioned that.”

Nightlight refrained from swearing. “Yes, sorry. Anyways. My supervisor, Noon Nap, called me, saying most of us on the night staff had a special meeting. I got there and Slopes, I mean, Mr. Slopes,” Celestia smiled at the slip-up but didn’t say anything, “said he had a special job for some of us. He interviewed us with Star Quill and-” Pause. “That’s the Head Night Steward, do you-”

The Princess nodded, smiling. “Continue.”

‘Why wouldn’t she know who Star Quill is, you clophead?’ he cursed himself. “Anyways, based on coloring and experience and, and I think it was only the ponies with cutie marks of stars or the moon or something night-related, we were all assigned jobs. He said that a steward would be the best fit for this job, and…” And that was all Nightlight really had to say that wouldn’t make Slopes sound bad, and that meant it was time to shut up. ‘Not that I expect to be working here much longer but…’ It just couldn’t have been prudent to tell Celestia that he didn’t much like her Chief Steward. Added to that, he couldn’t really say whether Slopes could have done something better – what other options did the Head Steward have? “Well, I became the Lunar Hoofservant, and that’s that, I think.”

“Is that so?” Celestia commented, voice unreadable. “It sounds like you find the task difficult.”

“Umm…”

She responded with a chuckle, albeit a demure one. “Don’t worry. If Snowy thought you could do it, you can. He’s exceptionally perceptive, you know. But what makes that so useful, is that he’s so good at figuring out what I want from him and acting accordingly. He’s a great steward.” Her smile shifted into what could have more rightly been called a grin, and bent forwards with a look that was... well… ‘Would you call that sinister?’ Nightlight didn’t know, but he sincerely hoped otherwise - the very idea of a sinister princess was utterly terrifying. Celestia seemed totally unaware of the ambiance she was giving off. “Ask me for an example,” she whispered. “Go on, ask.”

There was no chance of getting around that. “Then, what did you mean, your Highness?”

The Princess’ gaze slid back and forth about the hallway, ascertaining that the two of them were the only ones nearby. “When we were leaving the throne room just now, do you remember what I told Snowy?”

Only very vaguely. “Umm, that this might take a while?” The young steward pleaded with the powers that be that this was the answer for which she was looking.

Celestia nodded and leaned in especially close, a conspiratorial glint in her eyes (it wasn’t sinister he’d seen, it was conspiracy. ‘Which, admittedly, is only a little bit better,’). It was rather alarming coming from a pony of her import. ‘And her height.’ Nonetheless, the powers that be smiled on him – he was right. “Well yes, but there’s more going on here.” Okay, he was halfway right. “You see, Snowy knew what I really meant when I said that, so I was able to keep my actual message secret.”

She begged the question to the point that it was practically an order, and Nightlight’s curiosity was overcoming his restraint. “So… what was the actual message, Your Majesty?”

She giggled like a mischievous schoolfilly who’d just pranked the teacher. “That when he rescheduled my appointments, he would mysteriously be unable to find time for a certain pony.” She paused for dramatic effect, pastel mane fluttering despite the lack of wind. “Does that make sense?”

Princess Celestia was probably filing all of his shortcomings away for future reference, but... ‘It’s worse to lie than to look stupid, right?’ He decided to look stupid. “No?”

“Think about it,” she said, continuing the cross-castle trot. “Start at the beginning.”

“Well, you said that this may take a while…” Nightlight tried recreating her logic, scrunching his brow up in concentration. “So... you meant that it would definitely take a while?”

She pouted her lips in a falsely apologetic manner. “I may have implied it.”

“Which would mean that the rest of your day would be, uh, busy, I think”

“Go on.”

“So, what? That means you may not have time for everything, so…”

“You’re on the right track.”

“So, you meant that… Oh. I think I get it.”

She beamed, but somehow still retained that conspiratorial aura. “Explain.”

“If you don’t have time for everything, your schedule has to change. So Mr. Slopes should, well, use good judgment deciding how your new schedule is arranged, right? It means that the least important appointments ought to be cancelled first.” It seemed simple enough. “You’re having him decide which appointments to cancel.”

Celestia nodded. “You’re halfway there. Keep going.”

“Umm... I... don’t understand,” he admitted. “What else is there for him to do?”

The Sun Goddess an abrupt halt in the middle of the hallway and turned all the way around to face him. “That explains it.”

The young steward had to restart his heart before he could construct a rudimentary reply. “Y-Your Highness?”

“You’re looking at everything the wrong way.”

“I-I’m sorry?” He didn’t know what he was sorry for, but he’d obviously made some sort of terrible mistake. He bowed his head down, breaking the line of sight with his long mane. “I’m really sorry, Your Highness.”

The Princess just responded with a gentle smile. “Don’t be worried, my little pony. I rather doubt anypony explained this to you, so I can’t imagine it’s your fault.” It was amazing how her voice just evaporated worry. “Don’t ask yourself what Snowy needs to do; instead, ask what I would want Snowy to do.” She started walking again, forcing Nightlight to follow. “If you were me, what would you want him to do?”

‘Oh sweet Celestia... What does she want me to say?’ He followed after her for some time, until the pressure became too much. “I... don’t know, Your Highness,” he confessed. “I couldn’t presume to-”

“Nightlight,” she spoke, stopping yet again. “Me and my sister may be alicorns, but we aren’t so different from anypony else. Now you just saw the Day Court; tell me honestly what you thought. Pretend I’m one of your sisters, and you’re telling me about it.”

Pretending the Princess was anypony else was as futile a task as any, but he tried. “Honestly? It sounded like some of those ponies were doing important things, but some of them sounded pretty... self-important.”

Celestia blew a raspberry and started moving once more. “That’s a nice way of putting it. Some of them are complete plotholes.”

Nightlight had to double check his memory to make sure he heard that right, and yes, he did. ‘Princess Celestia actually said the word plothole.’ He didn’t know if the situation called for laughter or shock. “Y-Your Highness?”

“What? It’s true,” she asserted humorously. “Go ahead. Say it. And then tell me what you’d do if you were in my horseshoes.”

“They’re...” Nightlight gulped down his fear. And treason. “They’re... plotholes. And... and I wouldn’t want much to do with them.”

“So? What would you want Snowy to do?”

“I’d...” It clicked. “You want Mr. Slopes to cancel their appointments! All the ponies you don’t like, he’ll mysteriously be unable to fit them into the schedule.”

She sounded pleased by his revelation. “There. You can be just as good a servant is Snowy is, you know that? You just lack the experience,” she declared, “and it’s not like anypony starts out knowing what to do. Why, I remember when Snowy was just starting out and he tried to hire me a- oh, it looks like we’re here.” Nightlight realized with a mild start that there was a duo of dark-coated unicorns and a pair of mahogany doors in front of them. Neither the guards’ heavy barding nor their weighty gazes were welcoming, but Celestia addressed them as casually as she spoke to anypony. “Good morning, gentlecolts.”

They both stepped aside and saluted pointedly, but without the well-rehearsed synchronicity one usually saw in a pair of royal guards. They were obviously unused to working together.

“Your Majesty.”

“Y-Your Majesty,” they replied, slightly out of time with each other.

“I’m here to see my sister. I assume she’s in?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. You are expected,” indicated the right-side guard rigidly. “But we were instructed to allow no other ponies entrance.” He broke his gaze away from the Sun Princess to look at Nightlight personally. “I believe Her hoofservant is included.”

Celestia furled her brow upon hearing this. “Oh? Well, I suppose it isn’t entirely unexpected,” she stated to nopony in particular. “Did my sister mention any particular reason?”

The sentry hesitated under her large eyes, but he recovered with commendable speed. “Ah, no ma’am. However, she mentioned that this was to be a private exchange between Herself and Your Highness. I believe no other ponies are to be privy to it.”

“Naturally, naturally.” She stepped between the guards and lifted a hoof as if to knock upon the doors. Before it struck, however, she stopped, turning to the right-side guard with a look that might have been what? Concern? “And are you just going to stand there and listen outside the doorway, or will you move your post to somewhere more secluded?”

The senior guard paused to consider the query for an unexpectedly long time before giving Celestia a prompt salute and an ecstatically relieved expression. “Understood, ma’am,” he declared before and trotting further down the hallway. “Come now, corporal.”

The left-hoof guard wavered, shifting his weight from leg to leg uncomfortably and examining his forehooves as he did so. But he stood fast. “Uhh, staff sergeant? We can’t. The Fifth-”

“Corporal Ribchester, do not quote the General Orders of the Sentry at me,” the first urged, not slowing his pace. “Princess Celestia asked us to move, so we do it.”

“But…” The junior guard looked blankly between his retreating superior, the serene smile on Princess Celestia’s face, the look of confusion on Nightlight’s.

“Corporal!” barked the staff sergeant, his voice trailing as he marched down the hallway. “Didn’t you hear about Lieutenant Midwatch the other night? Do you want to end up the same as him?”

Something in Nightlight perked up, distracted from the little struggle playing out in front of him; he remembered meeting that pony last night – an officer, apparently. ‘What happened to him?’ Against his better judgment, he turned to whisper the question to the alicorn standing beside him, but stopped upon noticing the melancholy on her face and turned back to the arguing guards.

Corporal Ribchester’s visage was almost as painful, but founded on self-preservation more than pity. He winced, biting his lower lip and closing his eyes as if the staff sergeant’s words were a physical blow. Nonetheless, the pony stood his ground. “But Her Highness-”

“And Her Highness has told us to move! Ergo, we move!” the senior sentry brayed as he turned the far corner.

The sight of which was apparently the last straw for his subordinate. As if rationalizing aloud, the younger guard began to speak in a meek voice. “Well, I suppose this case isn’t covered by instructions, and the Ninth… Umm, excuse me, your Majesty.” Corporal Ribchester galloped off as well, leaving Nightlight and Celestia in an otherwise empty hallway.

The Sun Princess watched the younger guard leave with an amused expression before addressing the young pony besides her. “It was a pleasure speaking with you, Mister Nightlight, but if you’ll excuse me, my sister and I have something important to talk about…” Princess Celestia shrugged as she trailed off and- ‘And did she just wink at me!?’

She had already begun to knock on the ornately carved doors in front of them, but Nightlight couldn’t keep from… doing... something. ‘Like what? Asking if she has something stuck in her eye?’ That would’ve been utterly cliché. “Excuse me, but, uh, Your Highness? Should I go with the guards?”

Judging from the face she responded with, Princess Celestia seemed surprised at the question “Hmm? Mr. Nightlight, I’m giving you… oh, what’s the term? Liberty. You have liberty for the day,” she answered before turned back to the door and knocking again. “Lulu? Your hoofservant said that you wanted to speak to me.”

‘But… but…’ Against his better judgment, Nightlight addressed the Princess once more. “But should I-”

“Nightlight,” the princess whispered with a feeble sigh, “I’ve granted you liberty. I don’t really have any authority over where you are or what you’re doing, in the castle or out of it, for the rest of the day. And if there are no guards around to say you shouldn’t be somewhere, well, I don’t see a problem with you being there. Just report back for your duties this evening.”

When royalty sounded annoyed, the conversation was perilous at best. When divinity sounded annoyed, the conversation was over. He gave up, bowing deeply and holding the position. “Y-yes ma’am. Thank you ma’am.”

Just as he finished speaking, Princess Luna’s voice carried to the hallway. Her voice was quite clear, despite her uncharacteristically low volume. “Come in, sister.” The doors were swathed in an aura of bluish-grey, and the lock clicked open. “But just you, please.”

“Just me,” the elder sister assured, edging the door open so that Nightlight couldn’t see within and Luna couldn’t see without. “Although, I think you worry too much about eavesdroppers.” She stepped inside, turning around to close the doors behind her. She winked again (‘Again!’) as she did so. “Now, what is it you wanted to talk about?”

The door clicked, and Nightlight’s mind started spinning in circles.

It was obvious what message the Sun Goddess had been trying to send; it was her reason that had him baffled. ‘Why would she do that? I mean, what could she want me out here for? This is supposed to be a private conversation! The guards said it! And the Princess! And the other Princess! They’ll make glue out of me if somepony catches me out here! But...’ But Princess Celestia had practically told him to stay out here. Sure, she hadn’t said as much, but… ‘It’s clearly what she wants me to do…’

‘If Princess Celestia tells you to do something wrong, do you do it?’ It was like a hypothetical situation out of an ethics class. ‘Is it really wrong? I mean, she wouldn’t have wanted me to stay if I shouldn’t.’ Nightlight honestly had no clue what the right answer was, but as long as he was being honest with himself… this was a chance that nopony could pass up. Curiosity getting the better of him and his worry, the young pony sidled closer to the ornate double doors and pressed one ear against them.

They’d already begun their conversation, and seemed to be speaking hushed tones. “-have time to talk with you.” That was Celestia. “You were thinking about our discussion at sunrise?”

“Moonset, yes. We… discussed my relationship with my servants, and that’s one of the things I wanted to talk about. What I said, and especially how I behaved… it was wrong, and I want to apologize.” Luna responded with… ‘Is that reluctance in her voice?’ It was a different sound than Nightlight was used to hearing. It was still the strong voice of the Moon Princess, but it seemed less harsh - both softer and smoother.

“Don’t be silly Lulu, that’s not nece-”

Luna interrupted, slightly more forcefully. “It is too necessary. My reaction was entirely inappropriate. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you when we disagreed. It was immature of me. You’re my sister, and I know you have my best interests at heart, but I wasn’t able to see that. And I especially shouldn’t have criticized you like that in front of your servants, for countless reasons. I was acting like a foal, and I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?” she finally concluded in a hurried fashion. If Nightlight had been able to pay attention to more than just the words, he’d have come to the conclusion that it was a prepared speech.

Instead he simply strained his ears for the older sister’s response – they were practically talking about him, after all. “Forgive you? There’s nothing to forgive.” There was a long pause of what might have been hugging, or perhaps just awkward staring (far be it from him to know), before Celestia picked the conversation back up. “But have you thought any more about what I said?”

“Yes, and,” answered the younger sister calmly.

“And?” asked Celestia.

‘And?’ thought Nightlight.

“And I maintain my position. I am perfectly justified in my behavior.”

“Oh.” Celestia maintained a surprisingly neutral tone. Certainly it was more neutral that Nightlight could have managed. “Why?”

Luna sounded just as dispassionate. “That’s not fair, sister. You’re trying to shift the burden of proof on me, but you’re the one who asserted that I’m wrong. It should be me asking you the same question.”

“Good point.” There was a brief pause in which the clicking of gold-shod hooves could be heard pacing inside. Celestia was probably putting her thoughts together. “Equestria’s different now, Lu; ponykind has changed a lot. Not physically, maybe, but mentally and socially. Ponies are better educated and more reasonable than they’ve ever been. Crime is at an all-time low, unrest is at a healthy minimum, and nopony’s tried to assassinate me for almost four hundred-”

Nightlight’s knees shook a hair at these words. Another pony to try assassinating an alicorn was impossible. It was unthinkable. It was heresy.

It was distracting him from the conversation upon which he’d been subtly ordered to eavesdrop. Celestia was just finishing up her argument. “-can mostly govern themselves now; all we really need to do is provide some guidance.”

“How does this relate to my treatment of my servants?” came the response, sounding more like the Luna that Nightlight was familiar with. “So our roles in the country at large have changed. Understood. But this does not address my relationship with my servants.” Luna’s hoofsteps joined joined her sister’s; they had a quicker tempo which couldn’t be entirely ascribed to shorter legs. “You have not addressed the subject at hoof, methinks. Are you suggesting that modern ponies’ failures should be ignored because they are well-educated? Am I not allowed to rebuke our subjects for their mistakes?”

“That’s… no, that’s not what I’m saying, Lu. What I mean is that you’re not treating them with the respect they deserve. Be patient with them, they’re not perfect.”

“I have given them more patience than they deserve, and as for respect? I am holding them to the same standards they hold of me. What respect am I not showing them? Enlighten me, please.” Nightlight didn’t pick up on the tiny bit of petulance in the Moon Goddess’ voice. “It is your specialty, is it not?”

He did, however, hear the frustration in the older sister’s words. “That’s what I’m trying to do!”

“Well I don’t understand, sister. It’s… you’re being vague. Just… What am I doing wrong?”

“For one?” Without warning, Celestia shifted from frustrated to an angry, almost indignant tone. “The Stare. Staring ponies is right out.”

Luna replied with complete innocence. “Is that so? I wasn’t aware of this rule.”

Nightlight hadn’t been aware of this rule, either. In fact, he hadn’t known The Stare existed. The Stare was an old mare’s tale. Everypony knew that. It was conspiracy theory and psuedoscience, like android-ponies, psychic gypsy powers, and spontaneous pony combustion. Everypony sane, rational pony with a halfway grasp of magic theory knew the Stare didn’t exist. It couldn’t exist.

Unless you asked the two alicorns who controlled Equestria, apparently. Because one of them had used it. On a pony, no less.

‘What in the name of Discord’s dice is going on?!’

Nightlight realized he wasn’t going to figure it out on his own, and pressed his ear back against Luna’s door. “Firstly?” Princess Celestia was speaking. “Ponies are going to be afraid of you. I don’t think anypony even knows that we can Stare, not anymore, and especially not on ponies. What are you going to do if the media finds out about this?”

The Night Princess made a disdainful noise before speaking. “You know as well as I that the recipient never remembers it. Besides, I only Stared one pony, and it only happened twice. They were isolated incidents.”

“You Stared him for the whole night! Literally, the entire night! He’s probably forgotten the last twelve hours of his life, and he was still suffering from the aftereffects when he came to get me!” Celestia shouted. “But that’s not even the worst of it. I mean, that pony is your hoofservant! Why-”

Nightlight’s brain stalled. The Stare. Him. That was impossible. ‘That’s impossible.’ It was impossible. But it explained so much.

‘But it’s impossible.’

‘But it makes sense. The morning/evening thing – it’s missing time. And the weirdness going to talk to Princess Celestia just now. It seems… possible. Really possible.’ Plus, the wisest pony in Equestria was talking about it as fact. Which meant possible didn’t even begin to cover it; it was the truth.

‘But it can’t be.’

‘What about bringing Princess Luna to the Tall Tower?’ Admittedly, the last thing he’d remembered before finding himself there was Her Highness’ eyes. ‘And the same thing this morning. Or yesterday. Or... whenever.’

Nightlight didn’t know how long it took him to churn through his thoughts. It could’ve been seconds or minutes; at more than one point he almost walked away, having totally forgotten his reason for being present. He didn’t hear the rest of Celestia’s words. He didn’t hear her stamp her hoof in anger. He didn’t hear Luna’s response, or Celestia’s follow-up, or however many similar exchanges occurred in his reverie.

Eventually, however, he did come back to cognizance, shoving the thought of being Stared out of his mind until he could think about it in the future. In the meantime, all he could do was go into autopilot and listen.

Luna, coolly: “So be it, but you’re wrong about something else: that pony’s not my hoofservant. He was my hoofservant. I’ve decided to replace him with a more competent subject.”

Celestia, sounding surprised and upset: “Oh Lulu that’s… Why?”

Luna, rationally: “Many reasons. He has failed the majority of his assigned tasks, and he is consistently tardy with those he completes successfully. He regularly fails to heed my orders. He is thoughtless, and rarely considers the consequences of his behaviors. Worse yet, he lacks initiative. He lacks discipline. He lacks bearing. He lacks attention to detail. He is, over all, quite inept, and I desire another servant,” she concluded simply. “In fact,” as an afterthought, “most of my staff is inept, and I desire many new servants. Nonetheless, his position is most important. I intend to replace him immediately.”

Celestia, taken aback: “Lulu, the only thing he lacks is experience. I- I was just talking to him on the way up here. He has potential.”

“I disagree,” Luna stated flatly. “On the first account, at least. He lacks many qualities which I desire in a servant. Moreover, I don’t want a pony with potential, I want one with competence.”

Celestia sighed loudly enough to be heard through the heavy doors. “Who would you rather have?”

The following pause was inordinately short. “Hypothetically speaking? Somepony akin to your chief steward. He seems both responsible and dutiful, and he’s been of exceptional service. My current hoofservant doesn’t hold a candle to-” Pause. “Can I still say that? Or does one say, ‘doesn’t hold a flashlight to him,’ now? Has the idiom changed? Do ponies still use candles?”

“Ahem,” Princess Celestia cleared her throat loudly, and probably not because she had anything stuck in it. “About Snowy?”

“Snowy? Oh, your steward, yes. I don’t mean to take him precisely – he is your steward after all, but certainly there other servants of his caliber. Perhaps one of his direct subordinates?”

“I talked to him about that. He said most of them wouldn’t be useful to you – either too specialized in their duties, or the wrong… I think he used the word ‘deportment.’ For example, I hear you met the Head Night Steward on your first night…” Knowing the subject in question, Nightlight could almost hear Celestia waggle an eyebrow mockingly. “I don’t think she’s really what you’re looking for.”

“No,” Luna snapped. “She refuses to accept responsibility for her subordinates and… Hmm. I see what you’re doing.”

If it had been any other pony, Nightlight would have expected to hear smugness in the response, but the Sun Goddess was above that. “Then you-”

“But my point is still valid,” the younger interrupted. “My hoofservant-”

“Lulu,” Celestia interrupted back, not so loud that one could think she was angry, but enough to stop her sister midsentence. “The entire castle is at your disposal. Anypony who would make a better hoofservant, regardless of their current duties, you can have.”

“Anypony I want? That’s perfect; anypony would be better,” she answered flippantly before suddenly taking a suspicious turn. “What’s the catch?”

“Well, I should mention that I meant anypony except for me. But think about it Lulu, I control the sun better than you, and you have a way with the stars that I utterly lack – so… which one of us is the better?”

More click click click of hooves pacing resonated from the room – presumably Luna’s while thinking about the question. “You mean like Hooves-Horn-Wings?”

“They call that game ‘Rock-Paper-Scissors’ now, but yes. Your hoofservant is by no means perfect, sister, but anypony that has him beat in any regard is lacking in some other quality. Nopony I can think of would beat Nightlight hooves-down.”

“Nightlight?”

“Nightlight,” the Sun Goddess intoned in an almost sickly-sweet manner, “is the name of your hoofservant. And I have complete faith in him.” Her voice sounded mocking, challenging. Competitive.

Luna responded with an almost jovial fervor. “Ah. So if I can come up with one…”

“Anypony. You can just name positions, if you want.”

“Oh?” the younger challenged. “I don’t remember your games being so easy.”

‘Game?’

“It wouldn’t be fair otherwise,” the Sun Princess answered in a mock-sinister tone. “But it won’t make a difference, you know. I haven’t lost an argument in a thousand years - it’s the ultimate winning-streak.”

Luna laughed. She actually laughed. “They’re being nice, sister. They let you win. I won’t.”

“Fine. Your move.”

“Very well, then. I choose, oh…” Luna trailed off falsely, pretending to think. “How about the Chief of the Between Staff?” she suggested casually.

“You know better, Lulu,” her sister chided, “Corry Dorey is relatively powerful within the castle. Anypony not used to taking direct orders won’t make a decent hoofservant. Try again.”

Luna sounded unbothered by the immediate shutdown, but she seemed no more resolved in her next suggestion than the previous. “Well, the Second Maid, perhaps?”

“She’s a great maid, but she’s a maid. Honestly, most maids don’t know enough about goings-on throughout the entire castle to be good hoofservants. Shiny’s no exception.” There was a brief space before Celestia asserted, “But you could have guessed that, no?”

“No more warm-ups, then. How about the second butler, or whatever the position is called nowadays?” Luna sounded only an edge more serious.

Celestia managed to sound dismissive and disappointed at the same time. “Sebastian. He was the pony assigned as your personal butler and, unfortunately, he turned in his resignation last night.”

‘Sebastian quit?’ Nightlight had met the stallion on only a couple occasions, and while he had a demonic personality, Sebastian had been utterly zealous when it came to his duties. ‘He was one hell of a butler.’

Freshly arrived at the castle, Princess Luna obviously didn’t understand the significance of Sebastian’s quitting. She simply offered another possibility. “One of the Royal Guard.”

Celestia scoffed chidingly. “Assuming a guard would gladly accept the job? Would you prefer one with no leadership experience, or one who refuses to get her hooves dirty?”

It seemed like the question was expected, judging by the abruptness of her response. “I’d prefer a senior NCO, actually.”

“Most noncommissioned officers are too specialized. You need somepony with a wider range of skills and more accustomed to these sorts of duties.”

“A batmare.”

“That’d be an excellent choice… if the rate still existed.”

“Oh?” Judging from her intonation, this took Luna by surprise. On the otherhoof, it didn’t surprise Nightlight in the slightest, because he’d never even heard the term before. Luna continued with a slightly stoic timbre. “Your best court valet,” she finally suggested.

Celestia took on a decidedly less pleasant tone at the mention. “Tsk. The court valets are all peers, Lulu, and if one thing hasn’t changed, it’s the nobility. If I could find one that was more concerned with Equestria’s well-being than the family name, I’d make her a princess on the spot.”

“I imagine the Lady-Lieutenants are in the same boat?”

“I don’t think you want a pony who can’t get dressed without her own servants.”

“Hmph.” Luna’s tone became increasingly surly, like she was now struggling to prolong this ‘game’ of theirs. “Do you still choose your private secre-”

The suggestion was evidently predicted. “Pompano Cutter is an old veteran of the guard, and he’s an exceptional pony. He leads well, he knows how to obey, and he’s familiar with everything in the castle.”

Luna refrained Nightlight’s thoughts. “He sounds perfect. What’s the catch?”

“He does all of his work from behind a desk. He’s lame in both wings and a leg, and couldn’t keep up with you physically.”

“Then who is your Head Steward’s-”

“Direct subordinate? That would’ve been the Executive Steward. Kernel Ripples was approached about the job, but… she declined rather vocally.” Celestia groaned in what sounded like disappointment. “Ms. Ripples was rather outspoken about certain changes the castle is going through.” Something about the tone implied that Luna was the heart of said changes. “More’s the pity; she came from a line of exceptional stewards.”

“Past tense?”

“Oh yes. Snowy talked to me about dismissing her.”

Pause. “You said yes.”

“No, no - that would’ve been heavy-hoofed. I suggested she be reassigned, and now she’s filling an administrative position in my school. Oh, and on the subject of which, the castle hasn’t had a Governess since I founded the school, so there’s no point in asking for her as your hoofservant.”

Luna nickered. “Who’s next down in the stewards?”

“There’s a couple on that level. Besides the Head Night St-”

“Absolutely not,” Luna snapped, a bit too quickly to be graceful. It drew a chuckle out of her sister. “How about the Executive’s assistant?”

“No good. The Deputy Steward is middle management. She can follow orders and she can give orders, but Snowy tells me that she’s horrendous when it comes to solving problems on her own.”

“Then…” Luna’s pacing restarted. “Who else?”

“Well… unless you want somepony in the kitchen staff or a groundskeeper,” Celestia chided, “I can’t think of many other ponies you’d be interested in. There certainly are none better than your current hoofservant.”

“Oh?”

“Oh.”

“I can think of one.”

So could Nightlight, and he would’ve bet his bottom bit that both he and the Lunar Goddess had the same pony in mind.

“While he would serve you to the best of his abilities,” Celestia admitted cautiously, “your current hoofservant will serve you better.”

“Well, if you can give me a single reason…”

“I could give you five,” she asserted.

Princess Luna sounded almost as skeptical as Nightlight felt. “Is that so?”

“But there’s only one that really matters, so I won’t waste my time with the others.”

“Go ahead.”

Celestia’s answer was whispered so faintly, Nightlight could barely hear it. He wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear it. “Devotion.”

“Eh?”

“Devotion,” she repeated, more confidently. “Nightlight will be - no, he is, more devoted to you than Snowy Slopes could ever be. That’s-”

The younger alicorn interrupted with a remarkably level tone considering the accusation that: “You’re cheating.”

“Luna, I wasn’t finished, I-”

The Moon Princess started raising her voice, slowly becoming louder and louder. “Cheating. If you ordered him to be my hoofservant, he would be-”

“He would only be doing it because I commanded him,” Celestia countered, sounding even more cross than her younger sister. “He would follow your orders, but he’d always be thinking of mine first.”

“He’d follow my orders nonetheless.”

“But he wouldn’t be committed to you.”

“He’d be fine.”

“He wouldn’t, and you know it!”

“But-”

Celestia’s tone became much colder. “Sister, you-”

“If you just-”

The Royal Pony Sisters’ crescendo reached a peak, with the elder openly yelling. “Sister, Snowy Slopes was born and bred for his position! It goes back all the way through his family – his father was my steward, his grandmother was my steward, his great-grandmother was my steward! He’s spent his entire life training to be and serving as my chief steward! Don’t you see the problem with him suddenly being assigned to you?”

Luna’s voice went cold as ice. “You don’t want to give him up?”

Her sister’s chill did nothing to cool the Sun Goddess’ temper. “I would give him to you gladly! Gladly, Luna, if he were the servant you needed! But he isn’t! You need a hoofservant who will put you first and foremost, and after a lifetime of service to me, that’s something Snowy could never do! And even if he could, after decades of absolute allegiance, shift his loyalty completely and utterly to you, you don’t want such a fickle hoofservant!”

Celestia’s final comment seemed to hang in the air, defying the overwhelming gravity of the situation. Silence reigned for a long moment before either of the sisters spoke again.

Luna finally replied, her tone less than graceful. “Just because your steward would be less… dedicated,” she emphasized bitterly, “does not mean he would be a worse-”

An almighty stamp resonated from within, silencing Luna and making Nightlight’s bones shake. “That’s it! I can see that I’m not going to get through to you. You’re free to make your own decisions, but I must go.” The sound of hoofsteps began, signaling Celestia’s impending departure. Click-click click-click.

“But you said that you’d-”

“Always make time to talk with you, yes, but you don’t want to talk right now, Lu - you want to argue.” Celestia nickered in overt frustration. Click-click click-click. “I have duties to attend to, and I don’t have the time to argue pointlessly.” The hoofsteps became louder, more poignant, as if the pony making them intended they be noticed. Click click click click.

Luna almost sounded petulant, throwing her sister’s words back, “I wasn’t finished, Tia, I-”

“Well I am.” Click click. Click click. “Have a good morning.” Click. Click. Click. Click.

Click. Cl-

‘Oh buck.’

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

“And then I just ran,” he admitted, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “I could hear her coming towards the door, and I just barely got out of sight before she opened it. And um, then I left and came here. Um… sorry. And thank you.”

The pale yellow unicorn, the first half of Nightlight’s audience, put down her teacup as he concluded. “It’s no problem at all, Nighty. You’re always welcome to visit." His oldest sister was the first pony he thought to speak with when he had a problem. He’d have gone to her last night (‘No: two nights ago,’), if she hadn’t been working at the time. She was thoughtful and patient, and always thought of other ponies before herself, sometimes to her own detriment. Case in point, he’d practically broken down her apartment’s front door, actually woken her up in the middle of the day, and barged into her living room. But here she was, calmly listening to his problems despite having work later in the evening. And she didn’t even look angry.

The other half of the audience, however, was a good deal less tender. “Are you finished now?” the mare asked impatiently, mulberry eyes more than half-lidded.

She was also a good deal less intended. “Yes, but remind me again what you’re doing here?”

Berry Punch ignored the question in its entirety, stretching unabashedly on the couch and rolling over to face away from them. Brightlight answered in her stead. “She was planning on going back to Ponyville yesterday, but Red… convinced her to stay a couple more days. You know how Red is.” Nightlight nodded, understanding what his oldest sister meant. “Of course, Berry didn’t have a place to stay for the additional time, and things being what they are…” she trailed off, implicatively.

The whole family knew how things were when Red tried to bring home a guest. “Mom got upset about it.”

“Mom got upset about it,” Bright affirmed, sliding a hoof through her short-trimmed mane and changing the subject. “But I don’t think our family troubles compare to, well, you were saying that the Royal Sisters were-”

Nightlight couldn’t help but interject. “Princess Luna has returned, Equestria as we know it is tumbling down, everypony in the motherbucking castle is making my life impossible, I got Stared, and you’re interested in the Princesses’ private affairs?” One look at his sister’s face and he immediately began to regret his words. She was, after all, trying to help him. “I mean… it’s just… what am I supposed to do?”

A gentle smile returned to her face and Bright’s tone became soothing. “I understand,” she assured. “What you’ve experienced in the last two days is enormous, and honestly, you’re right.”

He’d spent so much of the last two days wrong that it was hard to imagine being right about anything. “About what?”

Her shrug somehow conveyed nonchalance and self-depreciation simultaneously. “You’re right. We really should be more concerned with practical matters like employment or our family instead of frivolous things like bridle gossip.” Well… it wasn’t exactly what he meant, but Bright had a way of interpreting other ponies’ words in the best possible light, and he wasn’t wont to correct her. “And the Stare. That’s rather… how to say? It’s-” Brightlight hesitated, chewing on her lower lip as she searched for the evading words. After much deliberation she lamely settled on the fact that, “It’s interesting.”

“I suppose that was more eloquent in your head?” mumbled their half-awake guest.

If he’d been less caught up in his own problems, Nightlight would’ve been legitimately concerned at the pout on his sister’s face; as things stood he hardly noticed the false humor in her response. “Yes, actually, it was. Do you have anything you want to contribute, or would you like us to take this conversation someplace else?”

Berry flipped onto her other side with a grunt, facing the rest of the room but not deigning to rise. She looked bored, more than anything. “Oh, yes. I have several, actually. To you,” she addressed her hostess, “you were actually right on the first thing. If two goddesses are arguing with each other, it’s possibly more important than just about anything in Equestria. You shouldn’t let your brother guilt you like he just did.” She gave the bewildered Nightlight an uninterested once-over before admitting, “Although I doubt he intended it. Nonetheless, he needs somepony to give him sound advice, not to just tell him that everything will be okay.” She yawned and returned to a more dignified sitting position while her audience stood with mouths agape.

She then turned her attention to the dark-coated unicorn that had ultimately woken her up. “And you. Hyperbole much? ‘Equestria as we know it is tumbling down?’ Only if you read the tabloids. The nobles and the newspapers are in a tizzy, but we don’t exactly have riots in the streets just yet. The sun still rises and sets and rises again. Ponies go about their jobs. I mean, sure, things’ll change, but this is Princess Luna who’s returned, not Nightmare Moon. Don’t worry; everything will be okay.”

“But you just said-”

“Tch. I mean Equestria will be fine, not you.” Berry nickered unreadably. “You’re in for it. I want to start drowning my sorrows just thinking about it.”

“Yes, because that really makes me feel better. Thanks,” he responded with as much angry sarcasm as he could muster. “Have you ever-”

“Get over yourself!” Berry practically screamed, thumping a hoof into the plush couch. “Stop with the ‘woe is me’ attitude and the ‘I didn’t have a chance’ mentality. Sure, you got a raw deal! Yes, Luna’s been treating you like a cherryrag!” At some point in the middle, Bright tried to make herself heard, but her statement was overwhelmed by Berry’s charismatic (and more significantly, loud) enunciations. “Hay, the whole castle’s been walking all over you! So why the buck are you bending over and taking it like a depraved gelding? Pony up and do something about it!”

“But-”

“Nightlight: Stop. Think. Act.” Her words were punctuated individually, stressing each furiously. “You’ve spent the last night or two getting plotted. What are you going to do about that?”

“Umm...” He turned to his sister, the pony to whom he’d actually intended to talk. “What do you-”

Before Nightlight could finish his question or his sister could respond with her opinion, Berry jumped down the young unicorn’s throat. “NO! Don’t ask others what you need to do! Think for yourself. What do you think you should do?”

“I, I don’t know...” Nightlight meandered over to a squat recliner and sat down. “I should... quit, right?” His sister gestured in the background, as if the statement was a personal victory for her.

“Are you saying that because it’s what you think, or because it’s what she thinks?” Berry nudged a hoof in Brightlight’s direction. “Because of all the ponies that halfway matter, I think she’s the only one that wants you to quit.”

“False. Everypony wants me to quit.”

Berry Punch rolled her dark eyes. “Did you even hear the story you told your sister? Princess Celestia doesn’t want you to quit. In fact, she told you to come back before tonight. Did anypony countermand that?”

No, technically not. “But Luna-”

“Hasn’t ordered you away yet,” the mulberry mare interjected. “So the only pony left that really matters... is you. What do you want to do?”

He shook his mane fiercely. “I want to quit. In fact, I’ve already quit. My job’s over, I talked to the Head Steward, and I’ve filled out the paperwo- ugh. Ponyfeathers.” Nothing in bureaucracy was official until the paperwork was complete. His wasn’t. “It doesn’t matter. I want to quit. I will.”

“I don’t believe you. And honestly? I don’t think you even want to quit.” She rose physically from the sofa, marching right in front of the chair Nightlight was sitting in as she spoke. “Because if that were the case, you would’ve come here looking for a place to stay, not advice. You came here because you needed somepony to convince you that quitting was the right choice, and you knew your sister would do that.”

“That’s a load of horseapples. Back me up-” Sometime in the midst of the conversation, his sister had slunk out of the room, leaving Nightlight and Berry Punch alone.

The earth pony was less distracted by this detail than he; she just continued her speech. “Oh really? Because I think Celestia was right. You’re not just dedicated to Luna, you’re downright devoted.”

If Berry hadn’t been so in-his-face about the matter, Nightlight’s laughter might have been less sarcastic. “Sure. And that’s why I’ve been trying to quit this entire time,” he snapped back, beginning to increase in volume. “It’s why I ran to Downtown Canterlot while on duty my first night, and why I nearly wet myself every time She looks in my direction!”

“It is!” she shouted back, only a foot away. “You’re embarrassed because you haven’t lived up to her demands, and you run away because you’re ashamed of your shortcomings! You’re trying to quit because you think she deserves a better servant than you! You’re afraid of her because you’re afraid of failing her!”

“I-”

“And you’re right! She’s a goddess, for Goddess’ sake! She deserves perfection, and you’re not perfect, nopony is, so if you’re not afraid of bucking something up, you’re doing something wrong! The real question is: what other option do you have? Does anypony have? Princess Celestia asserts you’re the best choice for the job. Do you think she’s wrong?”

“That’s…”

“Let’s pretend she is: maybe you’re not the best pony for the job. The fact still remains that you’re the only pony for the job. Even if they find a replacement for you by tonight, she’ll be no better than you. Until another option comes along, you’ve got no choice but to get it together and persevere.”

“But-”

“But that’s all moot! Even if you don’t realize it, even if your sister doesn’t realize it, or Princess Luna doesn’t realize it, Celestia realizes it and I realize it. For some impossible, stupid reason, you’re still committed to Luna. She’s demanding the impossible of you! Why haven’t you done anything about it? Why haven’t you given her a piece of your mind? Why haven’t you just bucked her in the face and told her what for?”

He finally managed to get off a sentence, screaming at the top of his lungs. “You can’t do that to a princess!”

“And the fact that you think so is proof! You’re not even angry at her; you’re angry at yourself, because you’re not perfect! Think about it!”

He thought about it. And maybe she was right.

In the meantime, Berry Punch got off her hind hooves and meandered back to the sofa she’d previously occupied. She draped herself across it with a yawn as she continued. “Let me tell you what I think: you-”

“No.” The word slid from Nightlight’s lips unintended, but it felt... right. “Like you said, I need to think for myself.”

The mare shrugged and rolled over, the faintest of grins on her face as she tried returning to sleep. Nightlight just sat and thought.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

“Nighty? Are you okay?”

He was getting up to leave when his sister cantered through the doorway, clutching a bottle of griffon alcohol in her telekinesis and staring at him worriedly. “Uhh, yeah. What’s up?”

Brightlight answered with an uncharacteristically exasperated sigh. “I could ask you the same thing. I step out for a moment, and when I get back you’re leaving without so much as a good-bye?” One awkward pause later, Brightlight detected the inherent irony of her statement. “Of course, I was coming back, and it’s not like I was gone that long, so…” Another awkward pause. “Ehh, Red told me that when Berry gets… weird, or I think she said ‘ornery,’ actually, she’s just sober.” More quiet. “But now I’m back and we can-”

“No. I just have to go,” Nightlight interrupted, shaking his head. “I’ll see you around... maybe soon.”

She shook her head even more vigorously in response. “No, don’t go. Look, I’m back, and you need to talk about this some more. You shouldn’t-”

Nightlight never found out what he shouldn’t do. “Let him,” demanded (a surprisingly alert) Berry Punch from the living room couch. “He’s made his decision. Let him do what he has to do and- and is that Everclaw?”

Mouth agape, Brightlight watched her little brother trot past her, into the streets, and towards Canterlot Castle. Dark coat against white stone, he looked as out of place as always. “I love you, Nighty. Be safe,” she whispered, too quiet for anypony to hear.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” asked Brightlight, concern evident in her voice.

“Tch. Donchu worry,” her guest answered drunkenly. The bottle of Everclaw, almost more empty than full, made its way once more to Berry’s lips. “Heesmakin’ a choice, an’ that means he’s makin’ the right one..”

Scowling hard, and not just on account of her guest’s slurring, Brighlight asked, “And how do you imagine that?”

Berry Punch raised a hoof in the air solemnly before responding, “Those that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” Her brief flash of sobriety was cut short by a pair of hiccups. “Or themselfs, razzer, ‘cuz I’m not a strong pony. But him, heesgotta reali- realishe- realy-” she stumbled, “to learn as he’sh a shtrong’r pony than hethinks, methinks.

She raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “This is my brother we’re talking about?”

“Yeh. An’ so he’s figurin’ tha’ heese gotta help others as needit. And sumtimesh, eben the princessess…esses need some, some help.”

At the risk of sounding like her sister, Brightlight had no choice but to assert that, “Berry… either you’re too drunk, or you’re not drunk enough.”

Comments

[karl]

I really hope Nightlight gets at least a sincere apology for getting Stared at. It's really sounds like the Stare is some kind of mind rape.

[NaiKujibo]

YAY UPDATE!

[stare556]

I see what you did there with Sebastian, That was a great black butler reference. Also keep up with this awesome story I'm loving every bit of it.

[Tomi]

Huzzah BIG update.

[Noble Cause]

Yay for more Berry!

... though, interesting stance she's got on colt-cuddlers... But very, very intriguing! I'm glad to see this updated, and I can see why it took so long :3 10 K plus, I'm impressed.

[AdminAffe]

Great chapter as always and a 10k+ too.
I can't wait to read the next one. Keep up your excellent work.

There are way too few likes on this story. Take some additional moustaches instead!

[StatusQo]

Woah Berry Punch wheres all this coming from?

[Natzo]

You know, sincerely, that last part is a load of (BUY SOME APPLES). there is no reason anyone has to deal with that amount of crap. Luna comes in demanding respect, but really, 3 days ago she tried to conquer Equestria and bring for Eternal Night and now she comes here demanding love, respect and perfection? She has to earn back that respect.

And really, she is not doing much to regain the love of her subjects. In fact, after 1000 years of prosperity under Celestia, she comes back, take her throne and starts treating them like crap while thinking it's still 1000 years ago? Sounds to me things were better without her in this continuity.

I would quit, she has done nothing to deserve any kind of devotion.

[Bud Grazer]

Really nice job, I can't wait to read the rest !

Only one thing that bugs me a little : isn't Nightlight freaked out after getting stared ?
It has to be really disturbing and he just didn't react much...

[justwannaread]

What kind of Intensity value on the mind does your Version of the Stare possess here.

Character wise I am amazed the way you write the Royal Sisters, the way you manage your OCs and drunk-sober amazing Berry Punch of all Mares I feel she really deserves a Spot as a featured Character.

This Story is amazing and you should feel amazing.

[Silversong21]

The Kuroshitsuji refrence made my day.

[CDR]

1049460
Think Fluttershy Stare times 100 + delivered by displeased Alicorn

[Focusphobia]

Will strike again?

[Deltathewolf]

5th General Order? I'd say being told to leave by the co-ruling monarch of the country your enlisted in counts as "being properly relieved" Corporal. 10th...? Are you sure your a Corporal? Because you're sounding a lot like a Private to me.

"Don't you quote the General Orders to me, Corporal."

You tell him Staff Sergeant.

Annnnnddddddd....FINALLY!
SOMEPONY TOLD HIM TO BUCK UP AND GET OVER HIMSELF! YOU GO SOBER BERRY!

-Delta-

[KrazyFang]

I appreciated the Friendship is Witchcraft reference.

[SIGAWESOME]

“That’d be an excellent choice… if the rate still existed.”

Typo? Shouldn't that be "if the race still existed"?

[Truth_Seeker]

I could've sworn that Star Quill had gotten Stared in an earlier chapter. Nightlight had to shake her out of a trance. So is Luna just downplaying the facts to her sister? Or was Star Quill really that shocked from being yelled at? Curious.

[Burning Skyway]

1633336
I suspect that's a specific class of NCO, which is a 'rating' not 'rank'.

[SIGAWESOME]

2710303
Ah, I see now!
Batmare is batman.

(and then the grasshopper was enlightened)

[mach]

"One Hell of a Butler"

Okay, great, thank you for that. Everyone at work is now wondering what website I could have been on that had a PINK background and why my monitor is now covered in coke. *snort*