• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 24th, 2016



These are the voyages of the... wait, wrong cue card... Ahem. Yes. These are a collection of silly, off-the-hoof stories written whilst bored as a kind of self-hazing experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Some are short, real short, and only one is of any substantial length, but you may enjoy them.

I think they're now complete, until we get new victims... er, pre-readers, who wish to join in.

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 93 )

I don't have enough hooves to facehoof hard enough for this lol. Hope to see more from you soon Midnight :twilightsmile:

This is pretty funny, gotta say. :pinkiehappy:

The whole "Sethisto-Box" thing makes me wonder, why hasn't there been a Hellriser crossover? Know what? Fuck it, when I'm done with the DMC crossover I'm going to write it. Sethisto is Pinhead. Phoe I guess could be one of the Wire Sisters, Cereal is The Torso, you can be, I dunno CD? Or Butterball lulz and because I'm awesome I'll be Chatter Beast...I'm getting off track here.

This story is a bit confusing for me, every line just confuses me more as I read, a little funny though

Hmm are muffins worth not setting things on fire?
These are great btw.

It's not fair, I wanna work there :twilightangry2: :raritycry: :fluttercry: :flutterrage:

Somewhere near a water cooler...

"-And I said to him You can't possibly expect mares to do that wet-look mane! It looks too sultry and it conveys the wrong message to the foals, would you have your daughter have that wet-look? No I wouldn't think so! I blame that sock craze a few months back, I mean c'mon socks, really? Was it some kind of innuendo slash double entendre or some manure like that? You know what kind of mates wear socks? The ones in those triple horseshoe movies, yeah those movies. And I know what you might be thinking, Oh but Teal surely you don't believe all that? And you know what I'd tell you? I'd tell ya to think inside the chimny! Also look back at when the sweater thing also became popular! Sweaters stallion! Think about it! All these sheeponies (sheeple) are just so...mainstream you know? THE POWER OF ANTI-CONFORMITY COMPELS YOU! Ahaha look all I'm trying to say is...that oatmeal is a hellavu drug!"

"Bro all I asked is if you seen my sandwich."

another excellent chapter, keep em coming :twilightsmile:

*listens to Brian M vs McBunn - Automatic*

Cool-cool-cool-cool-cool :trollestia:


... yeah, that's pretty much how it is.

enough caffeine to turn a normal pony so hyper they explode into jam?!
*thinking* Pinkie Pie + The Mecanic's coffee = ∞/∞

looks like extra security is needed to keep the Pink Menace away from this... or Rainbow, either one could rip a hole into the 5th dimension with this stuff haha

Coffemakers & Zuchinnis...cause Quils & Sofas, original. Lul

Anyways I want to be in this

There's actually a "code pink" story, but I need to talk to the author to get it approved... :pinkiehappy:

This is why you read twice, approve once :rainbowlaugh:


I can't blame them though, I'd likely react the same way if I saw Pinkie charging my way too.

*facehoof* Oh Celestia, why you be such a troll?

:trollestia: problem?

NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE MOON! Although, it'd get me out of this class :rainbowlaugh:

My ass this food will go straight to my plot!

Mane its probably a good judge for Pinkie. Example: Straight? Unhappy with a Cupcakes splinter-fic.

I am somehow reminded of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night.

Good catch! "Guards! Guards!" was my first discworld novel, and the very idea that something so meta, amusing, relevant and crazy could exist was a real eye-opener. I don't know if it's my absolute favourite, but it is the one I tell people to read first.

356750 For me it was Equal Rites. But the Guards series remains joint first with the Wizards as examples of great, comedic but still serious fiction.

I actually saw a play of Guards, Guards once. Was very good. They had a "narrator" character to deliver the footnotes or narration jokes in paused-time. She occasionally adjusted things before the time unpaused again, which was fun.

Apparently (and I am inclined to believe it), having a dragon in a play is easier than a normal-sized monster, because you don't have to show the dragon, only what it does. Imagination does the rest.

The idea of draconic manipulations behinds the scenes also haunts Ambassador's Son.

Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the pinnacle of the fan fiction universe. It's all downhill from here. I've had a good run, but that's it for me; I might as well stop trying. Well played, pre-readers. Well played.

Um ill take a Decaf please

What even just happened?

Darn you prereaders, getting onto Equestria Daily with this stuff just because you work there!:flutterrage:

Eh, I have no right to complain, since I'm one of the authors who actually has gotten stuff onto EQD.:twilightsheepish:

That office read like a description of the inside of my own mind.

I would so work there. Because then i could bring in explosives and amuse myself on my breaks by exploding bad stories. :pinkiecrazy:

so EQD uses Celectia"s Banana Cannon to send bad fanfics to the moon. but every time Celectia used that cannon to send the ponies to the moon she missed every single time. So I must ask, where are all the fanfics ending up if not on the moon?

"There was a sudden fizzle of angrily-applied winged unicorn princess power followed by the clattering cacophony of four horse-shoes, a bunch of nails and a mostly-full plastic sippy mug hitting the ground."

Oh goodness, the writing here is great. :D

I love the concept of a story about the shenanagans of the EQD staff. :D

AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! :rainbowlaugh:

A V8-powered coffee maker... So awesome. :pinkiehappy:

This one was full of randomness and insanity and I loved it.

*Reaches end of story collection*

Awww, no more? Oh well, this kept me up late enough anyway.

Good stuff from all of y'all. :pinkiesmile:

Two words you NEVER want to hear uttered together at the EqD office:


That first paragraph reminds me of something. Wait a minute.... Is the monty python reference intentional?

Regardless, one of the funniest things I've read for a while. :pinkiehappy:

“By the pricking of my hooves, something wicked this way moves...” intoned the great and powerful Sethisto in a giggling high-pitched cackle.

This is the greatest sentence ever conceived by man.

Clearly it is calibrated for fanfics. The shape and weight of ponies must throw off the accuracy.

I am going to kill Midnight and assume his life.

These stories are amazing :rainbowlaugh:. Great work!

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