My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I live in Ponyville.
About a month ago, after Princess Twilight Sparkle's new palace appeared and the Princess and her friends took over running Ponyville, the Princess created a new system for reporting and responding to emergencies in Ponyville. It's a prototype for a system that, if successful, will be implemented throughout Equestria.
I'm here to tell you that the Princess' emergency response system needs...a lot of work. Mostly due to ponies not really understanding how to use it.
Chapters (1)
I had a sensible chuckle
Haw.
Dat Cheerimac moment.
Good job there Moth.
Ever thought of doing a Cops parody or something?
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/a5dnn7q_700b.jpg
And suddenly I wanted to strangle her.
Anyway, good story.
This premise reminds me somewhat of an old t.v. show back in the 70's called "Emergency" which came out around the time parademic units first came into widespread use. The show centered around two paramedics with their own unit, who had a portable telephone box that allowed them to contact Rampart Hospital as they treated patients at the scene, before transfering them if neccessary. There were a lot of cases that even for 1970's standards were weird.
i.imgur.com/BbgL7x3.png
The... last one was kinda cruel i think...
4401766
4401959
Actually Mules are in the same classification as Ligers and several other crossbreeds in that they are borne Sterile and unable to produce children. So, she may have been a bit of a bitch about it... but, she was being rather accurate.
They are the cross breed result between a Donkey and Pony/Horse if I recall.
I work dispatch for the police, so this made me smile
4403405 How many dumb fast food complaints do you get in an average month?
Progress marches on. With a limp.
Fantastic story. I especially like the implication that Twilight's revolutionizing magic. Getting a spell from "Only Celestia can cast it" to "Any mare off the street can learn it"? That's impressive.
Thank you for this.
....
People really call 911 (or 112 in europe) for wrongly taken restaurant orders...?
Can I get a source for that?
Like... are people really that stupid...?
4403492 Small town so we get less of the "Sue cause my coffee was hot" inanity and more "Heard from a friend who/heard it from a friend who/heard it from another you been messin around" or "got into an argument cause my boyfriend wont stop telling my husband about how we sleep together."
Ahh small town life
...humorous.
4404493 A woman was arrested just this week for calling 911 because Subway put the wrong sauce on her sandwich.
This kind of shit happens ALL THE TIME in the US. And it IS a crime to do this.
I like this a lot.
4402790 And that's why it was funny.
4402790 That kinda sucks for them. It's like, nope, you need ponies and donkeys to help your species live!
Or does it not really work that way?
4405434 Mules are RARELY able to foal. All male mules are sterile. Most if not all cases of female mules foaling require a horse to sire the foal.
4405506 Yeah it's a catch 22 if you're a guy mule you're useless in breeding but, in a world like Equestria they'd likely make a killing as a whore because no need to worry about babies.
4405875 But they're so ugly what mare would want to?
4405937 Desperate and horny ones who are in a bad heat? I dunno
Another story to add to 'Weird Jobs Lyra Has Had'. Somepony should make a group for those.
Sterile =/= unable to have sex. Unless you happen to be a hard-core fundamentalist and think sex should only take place for the purpose of making babies.
4408053 Way to miss the point there dude.
4405506 Ah.
Well, I can certainly understand why Cranky Doodle is cranky now.
4409052 He's a donkey, not a mule. Of course, Matilda is probably too old to have children by now anyway, but if they'd found each other a lot sooner, they'd probably have a nice little donkey family.
4408904
What point? I was joking about the fundamentalist bit: now I suppose we need to work out whether mules enjoy sex or not
(they certainly do have sex if they aren't castrated.)
To be more concise: yes, Lyra was being a bitch and being more like this http://www.fimfiction.net/story/175071/1/a-train-on-fire-full-of-orphans/really-there-are-a-lot-of-orphans-and-fire-in-here Lyra than the one in the earlier part of the story. Which was an amusing story.
"No, Ma'am! I'm not going to send the Guard to enforce your haybacon veggieburger!"
Fun job!
Incidentally, my friend's XBox Live username used to be: A Big Nasty Pickle.
I know you're saying that this is a one-shot, but I'd like to see more.
More chapters please
Having worked both tech support AND emergency dispatch I can in some way feel Lyra's pain. Fun story!
I would love to see more chapters
4618135 You already said that. The story is tagged Complete for a reason. Please stop asking.
4618142 sorry. it's just that this is a great idea and it would be cool if it was expanded
4618165 I appreciate that, but there won't be any more of this story.
4618183 :(
Funny story.
Have a treat:
atemptingvegan.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/pickle1.jpg
This was a wonderful story, and it's a pity there won't be any more.
Button Mash was my favorite, though.
5019200 Writing Button Mash's part was my favorite.
......
on a side note, the Emergency Number you dial apparently isn't the same for every state. A few years ago my best fried told me he was going to kill himself through AIM on AOL. I turned off my computer, called them up, told the answerer what was going on and the lady on the other side of the phone asked why I didn't call the PA extension. I've lived in Delaware my whole life and all those emergency commercials said to call 911 in case of an emergency. How the heck was I supposed to know what PA's emergency number was? I asked as much and then asked again for help.
Was she just pulling my leg as a joke? If she was, I am not amused.
4403405
Thank you for being willing to put up with stupid-people so that you can help the not-quite-so-stupid people. We of the not-so-stupid appreciate it.
5021385 Was your friend in the same city as you/same state? When you call 911, it connects to the dispatch that matches your phone's area code and prefix. This is why I pray I never run into trouble in Houston. I live two hours east of Houston, so if I call 911 on my phone, it's gonna connect to my local emergency dispatch--not the Houston emergency dispatch.
So if your friend wasn't in the same general area as you, there's nothing your local 911 emergency dispatch could've done.
(At least, this is my understanding of how the system works.)
5021671
Okay, that makes sense, and no, he doesn't. He and his family moved to Lancaster PA a few years ago. I live in Delaware, near Middletown.
5024992 Yeah, that's why. The 911 emergency dispatch in your area can only handle dispatch calls for your area. They can't contact police/emergency rescue in other cities, counties, or states.
"His balls fell off?"
"Yeah, he was pretty old."
Aww, it ended right when the going got good. Although, about the spontaneous testicular ejection... Good punchline, but, how. Just, how.
Yup, that happens all too often. :)
Just another day in Ponyville. What we find hilarious may be torture for others. But, what can you do?