A young pony finally snaps under the pressure of her friends and gives into what they desire most.
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Creepy. I like it.
3470902
Glad to hear so! I was noticing the dislikes and wondering if yet again my sleep deprived brain did something it wasn't supposed to.
I want my damn cookie!
I also shouldn't be typing while I'm drunk and tired
Good story, I'll give a better comment tomorrow. I'll fix this up, too.
3472544
Well considering in episodes such as the Cutie Mark Chronicles they discover that all their cutie marks were tied together, friends by destiny sort of thing. Twilight knew nothing about these ponies in any way, shape, or form. But they've even pointed out Twilight's cutie mark includes her friends.
Unfulfilled destiny=restless and semi-malevolent specters
As for the comment of practice I consider this actually practice. I don't like to keep my fingers laying idle and yet I don't have the focus to work on one of my actual stories, thus items such as these are produced.
Danm, that was dark.
I liked it.
Hmm....What can I say? I liked the story because of its originality, but the ending is what put me a rock and a hard place---the rock being liking it, and the hard place not liking it.
The only thing I really have a problem is with the connection they had. Why did the ghosts of her "friends" visit her when she knew nothing about them, and vice versa? Did Twilight read a newspaper article about it, and her crazy mind made them her friends? How did the sonic rainboom connect them? Did it have some super natural power that kept the ghosts tied together?
These questions will bug me for a long time. But for now I'll give you my rating:
I would have given it a five out of ten, but I took a point off for some mistakes. Don't worry though, I'd make the same mistake. I'd recommend a editor. They help a lot.
Anyway, I expect more interesting and/or original stories from you, and for them to explain any questions they may cause (like this one had done for me).
Remember to practice, practice, practice.
Well... I have nothing against the story. It sounded good, but I just am not a dark fan I guess.
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/073/7686178464_fdc8ea66c7.jpg
3472544
Well considering in episodes such as the Cutie Mark Chronicles they discover that all their cutie marks were tied together, friends by destiny sort of thing. Twilight knew nothing about these ponies in any way, shape, or form. But they've even pointed out Twilight's cutie mark includes her friends.
Unfulfilled destiny=restless and semi-malevolent specters
3472704
Awesome! That makes me feel happy.
...did you really cry? Or is it simply a compliment? I still can barely make the words on the screen stop floating around so yeah....
3473115
Compliment. It was an excellent story
3473140
Awesome! Then I thank you!
*sneaks you a cookie* alright, here's your payment, tell no one.
3473143
Anytime
*Takes cookie, and slinks back to his corner*
3471489
This was originally a reply to meeee!
Anyway, I fixed my comment. Overall I could tell this was a bit of published practice, but it was nice and a good read. If I had to rate it, I'd go 6.25/10.
3473583
Most of what I've been writing lately is just practice. I've been feeling very writer's block-y lately and have been forcing myself to write in an attempt to over come this.
3473589
I know the feeling of forcing yourself to write, but all the same it's good practice and helps later on~!
3473666
Indeed it does. Every drop of practice helps and I find that uploadingit helps you see others opinions. That's why I love this site.
3473670
I feel exactly the same way, writing a story and getting better is amazing, having fans is a bonus!
... How long... How long must we suffer life's sadistic game of madness. How long has Celestia been trying--been failing to keep her ponies and herself happy....
What is time to one who had so long... Suffering pains that only time takes leaving a void that cannot be filled... How does one heal? How are scars that have cut into the soul be ripped open so easily? How can she live with the stagnant air...
... Of a lonely, broken spirit...
3473706
Ohhhh...! That is awesome!
Wow, well that was bleak. So many ways a Rainboom can go differently.
Well that was different.
3622470
Awww.... You mean it wasn't normal?
3622518
Well for starters...*takes off gloves*
It was good beside the causal grammar error, nothing to get fancied about really. But my concern really relied on how it was just so short. There was a great plot that could've been invested in tremendously - you know?
Aside from that I was surprised on how everyone was dead.
Really though, the comment was a lame farewell and an official notification that I read your story as I assumed that it wouldn't be any sort of grand news in retrospect.
So I read it and cutting out the negativity for grammar, I found it quite decent.
3622563
...I was just making a joke...my username and all? It's normal?
Eh.
This is probably the most interesting spin to the "What if the Sonic Rainboom never happened"-verse. Congrats!
4128742
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Damn. This seems to have gotten rather popular
....this fic is marked as read....
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