When you kill death, what could possibly happen next?
Crossed with Piers Anthony's On A Pale Horse
No familiarity with On A Pale Horse is necessary to enjoy this story.
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No one likes Rarity.
3834317 TAKE THAT BACK THIS INSTANT!
3834479
No. Why should I, it's true after all.
I don't think I've ever seen the Incarnations series crossed over with MLP before. This has... potential.
...wait, wasn't Zane's (Death's) lover named Luna?
3834486
No.
You are entitled to your own opinions, but you are not entitled to your own facts. You can argue all you want over who is Best Pony, but Rarity's fans don't appreciate statements which pretend they don't exist.
3834560
Yeah...I'm not going to have it be Luna though.
Luna is obviously Nyx.
3834571
Well, OBVIOUSLY.
3834317 Ahem. *Angry look*
3834732
How was the story?
3834736 Me gusta.
3834741
Yay!
I came as I read the story
That it is all.
3834764
Glad to hear that!
OMG I loved it! I've read the entire 'Incarnations of Immortality" series, and you portrayed the first part of the story well.
Do you plan on having the elements all become incarnations?
3835059
Yes, I do!
Also I am quite pleased to hear you liked it
I see what you did there~ Shutterfly, that comment about photography. Nice one
INB4 Featured
Great makeover/crossover! I love the Inc. Series!
3835656
Nah, I highly doubt this will ever get featured.
3835715
A COLT CAN DREAM HAROLD!
3836047
Mah name ain't Harold~
3836062
SPOOKY LILY CANNOT COME FORTH TODAY, OLD MAN ROBBINSON!
I'm utterly unfamiliar with said "Incarnations of, etc.", and thus am unaware to what degree you mimic the writing style of said piece, but I really enjoy the style and flow of this work. The content, not so much. The dialog and action are well crafted and punchy. A little excessive verbiage here and there, but appearances are scant. I wish everyone wrote like this.
The narrative underpinnings, sadly, are tired cliches. We've been killing death, stealing from greed, and banging lust's brains out since ancient Greece. No new angles here.
In short: Decent.
Ok, I do hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but this feels too much like you literally just inserted Fluttershy into the exact life of Zane Grey.
While I do see strong potential in your writing, it feels more like you're just telling the tale from the Piers Anthony story just in the MLP world.
I will be following this story, just so I can see where you go with this.
3834486 Not really.
4167648
Careful not to feed the trolls.
4167670 They can eat rocks.
Why did you cancel it?
