Hint, Hint!
Big Macintosh took off his yoke and put it back in its usual spot in the barn. Now that the day was over, there wasn't any need to wear it anymore. Besides, he had a date with the most wonderful, amazing mare in the history of Ponyville: Fluttershy! Fluttershy's sweet pink locks gracefully blew in the wind whenever she walked by Big Macintosh, and Big Macintosh really liked how graceful she was. She was a good strong mare, and he knew that if he married her and had lots of foals with her, then that would be the best thing ever! It would be really cool for his sisters too, because they knew that they would be the best aunts ever, and Granny Smith wanted great-grandfoals as well.
So Big Macintosh put on his best tuxedo and the cologne that his sister Apple Bloom gave him last Hearth's Warming Eve, and picked some nice flowers from the garden before walking to Fluttershy's cottage. When he reached it, he knocked on the door, and waited for Fluttershy to answer it. Instead, it was that nasty rabbit of hers, Angel, who glared at Big Macintosh. He didn't want anypony dating his Fluttershy, but Big Mac was undeterred! He glared right back at that nasty rabbit, and stomped his hoof!
"I'm here to see Ms. Fluttershy. She's the most beautifulest mare ever, and when she walks by me, she's very graceful and beautiful! You're not going to stop me you varmint!"
Angel rolled his eyes, and was about to respond with rabbity squeaks, but then Fluttershy the Amazingly Beautiful flew up behind Angel and smiled at Big Macintosh. "Oh, Big Macintosh, it's a pleasure to see you here. Um... do come in! I was about to put on my cocktail dress for the date."
Big Macintosh smiled at Fluttershy and bowed low to her. "Thank you kindly, Miss Fluttershy. That sounds lovely."
Big Macintosh walked into the cottage while Fluttershy flew upstairs to change. Big Macintosh watched her fly up the stairs. She was so graceful and beautiful. She would make a wonderful wife, Big Macintosh decided. But he needed to slow down. It was only the fifth date, after all. No need to rush her. But at the same time he didn't want to be too slow in case another stallion wanted to try to take her. That would be really, really bad.
Fluttershy came down, graceful and beautiful as ever, wearing a sparkly teal cocktail dress and her wonderful smile. She took the flowers from Big Macintosh and put them in a vase on her table. Big Mac then escorted Fluttershy out of her cottage towards the place where he had booked dinner.
Suddenly, before they could reach the restaurant, a group of griffin ninjas jumped out of the bushes with their swords and dastardly expressions! Fluttershy gasped, but Big Mac wasn't scared at all. He had been waiting to show Fluttershy how amazing he was. He took a smoke pelet out of his jacket and tossed it at the claws of the griffin ninjas! All of the griffins were unveloped in green smoke, and they fell to the ground, knocked out. All except one, who attacked Big Mac with his sword. Before the sword could strike home, Fluttershy took two knives out of her cocktail dress and blocked the assult! The griffin was shocked, but before he could strike again, Big Mac bucked him in the face, knocking him out.
Fluttershy gave Big Mac a soltry grin, and licked her lips. "You know how to show a mare a good time, Big Mac. I haven't been attacked by ninjas since before Nightmare Moon!"
"We aren't out of the woods yet, Ms. Fluttershy," Big Mac said, pointing to the street. "More of 'em, coming this way."
"Well, then..." Fluttershy cracked her neck and twerled her knives. "We'd best fight them if we want to make our resurvation!"
"Eeyup."
Big Mac took out a crossbow from a hidden pocket in his tuxedo and fired into the crowd of griffin ninjas, striking one, and scattering the rest. Fluttershy charged into the crowd and rammed into the nearest one, which sent him flying. She swiped with knives, and Big Mac kept firing his crossbow. Slowly, the crowd of griffins began parting, and they made ground to the restaurant. It was ten minutes until their resurvation!
"We may just make it!" Fluttershy cried.
"Eeyup," said Big Mac.
He ht another griffin with his crossbow, but didn't notice one coming up behind him. Fluttershy did, though, and she screamed. "Look out Big Mac!" Big Mac whirled around, but he was out of arrows! Fluttershy charged forward, as Big Mac whirled around again. Fluttershy leaped onto Big Mac's back, and he kicked out with his hind legs, propelling Fluttershy towards the griffin faster than the griffin could say "oh no." Fluttershy slashed him with her knife, and he was still.
She landed, and the two realized that they were almost late! They ran to the restaurant after putting their bloody weapons away, and made it just in time. The Matre D bowed to them, and sat them down.
Big Mac and Fluttershy smiled lovingly at each other, the romantic candles on their table flickering romantically. Fluttershy slowly put her hoof on the table, and Big Mac gently placed his own on it. Fluttershy looked down at the floor, her cheeks flushing.
"You're more beautiful than a ripe, red apple, Ms. Fluttershy. It has been my honor getting to know you."
"Oh Big Macintosh," Fluttershy whispered breathlessly.
"My love for you will never extinguish. If we went out on a romantic moonlight walk, and the moon was more beautiful than anything, it still wouldn't be more beautiful than you are."
"And you are handsome and rugged, Big Mac," Fluttershy giggled as Big Mac kissed her hoof. "I've never loved anypony like I've loved you."
"You're so beautiful, and I'm so in love with you, Ms. Fluttershy. I don't care what life throws at us. I won't ever leave you." Suddenly, a pony with a violin came, and began playing romantic music, while another one began spreading around rose petals. Big Mac kissed Fluttershy's hoof again, and slid off of his chair. "Ms. Fluttershy. I don't ever want to let you get away from me. You're the love of my life, and you complete me like even apples can't." Then, he took a small black box out of his pocket, and Fluttershy gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. "Ms. Fluttershy, will you marry me?"
Big Mac..." Fluttershy reached out and touched the offered ring. "Yes! Yes I will!"
The restaurant began clapping.
After the new bride-and-groom-to-be finished their dinner, they went back to Big Mac's house. Thankfully, the two were alone, so they would not be disturbed. They went up to Big Mac's room, and laid down on his bed, Big Mac on top. He passionately kissed his new soon-to-be wife, and Fluttershy moaned passionately. But then she gasped and pushed him off.
"Wait! What if you kiss me too passionately and it's considered sex! You could get me pregnant before the wedding!"
Big Mac smiled at her, and shook his head. "No, I will kiss you passionately, but not so passionately that it is considered sex. I will not get you pregnant tonight. However, rest assured, I will kiss you that passionately after we are married."
Fluttershy giggled and ran her hoof through his hair. "Ooh, I'd like that. I'd like kissing that passionate, and foals too. Apple Bloom would make a wonderful aunt, I think."
"I think so too."
Then they got back to kissing.
Suddenly, an explosion rocketed the house. The two shot up out of bed, and leaped out of the window together, just as the house exploded behind them! Big Mac looked back at the ruins of his home, and glared when he saw who it was. Discord! He had dinamite in his claws, and threw them at the apple orchard. He was the one behind the griffin ninjas all along!
"Oho! With you gone, the Elements can never trap me again!"
"Run, Big Mac!" Fluttershy cried. "I have a boat!"
Big Mac and Fluttershy ran towards the river, Discord in pursuit. When they reached it, they saw a speedboat called the SS Big Mac. Big Mac blushed, but didn't comment, as they hopped on. Big Mac started the boat, and Fluttershy got on the repeating crossbow that she had on the back. Big Mac got the boat going, and Fluttershy began firing at Discord, her hair mussed up now, making her look like a comic book heroine, which was awesome. Discord dodged all of the bolts, but Big Mac dodged all of the dinamite.
Finally one hit, and the boat exploded! Big Mac and Fluttershy were thrown into the water, and Discord hovered over them. "It's over now! I'll get you."
"It looks like the end for us," Fluttershy said sadly. "I love you, Big Mac."
"I love you."
With that, the two of them passionately kissed again. Maybe close enough to be considered sex, and Discord gasped. It was true love! The power of their love radiated off of them, and blasted Discord away, turning him into stone once more. Ponyville was saved!
"We did it," Fluttershy whispered.
"Because I love you," Big Mac replied. "Nothing can stop our love."
"Nothing."
* * * *
Today marked the day when science would finally discover if it was possible to die of embarrassment.
At least, that's what the Cutie Mark Crusaders surmised as they sat in front of their siblings in Sweet Apple Acres, their heads drooped, and their faces red.
The moment when Rainbow Dash flew into their clubhouse, and came across their unattended story marked the beginning of a chain reaction of horror, the likes of which few had ever seen before, and now Rainbow, Rarity, Big Mac, Applejack, and Fluttershy had read the story.
Rainbow Dash comforted Fluttershy with a wing over her shoulders, both pegasi looking down at the ground. Big Mac and Applejack both glared at the Crusaders, while Rarity stared at the story, her hoof tapping her lower jaw, and a slight frown on her face. Silence filled the home; nopony having talked for a good twenty minutes now.
Rarity took a deep breath, and blinked once before clearing her throat and putting her hoof down on the story. "Well, er... I cannot say that aspects of it were not... typical of some of the other romance novels that I have read."
"Uh... yeah," Sweetie Belle mumbled, "I got some of the dialogue from your romance novels."
"Indeed." Rarity glanced over at Fluttershy, who put had put her hooves over her eyes, and gave her a sympathetic look. "Fluttershy, darling? Are you okay?"
Fluttershy whimpered and shook her head. "I've never fought griffin ninjas," she said in a small voice, "even before Nightmare Moon."
"Yes, I would, er, imagine not," Rarity muttered.
Rainbow Dash deeply exhaled and looked up at the story, then up at Scootaloo. "Squirt, at least tell me that you were the one who wrote the action stuff."
Scootaloo slowly raised her head to look up at Rainbow, a small, cautious smile on her face. "Well, yeah. I thought that it could use a dash of action to make it more exciting and less..." Scootaloo stuck out her tongue. "Mushy."
"Right." Rainbow nodded once, then went back to staring at the floor. "That's good, I guess."
"And Ah take it you were the one who was talkin' 'bout you bein' an aunt, Apple Bloom?" Applejack guessed.
Apple Bloom gulped and nodded. "Yeah. That's kinda what this was all about. Hearts and Hooves is comin' up, and we thought that since Big Mac and Ms. Fluttershy are such good friends and all--"
"Kissing. Kissing for sex." Fluttershy whimpered and slid down to the floor, covering her head with her wings.
"Yeah, we might have to talk about that," Applejack muttered. "You girls don't actually know what that is, do you?"
"Uh..." The three Crusaders raised their eyebrows and exchanged a confused look. "I guess not," Apple Bloom said.
"Yeah." Applejack sighed and pushed her hat back on her head. "Yeah." She took a deep breath and rubbed one of her temples. "Well, girls, Ah think y'all had better go up to Apple Bloom's room. We've gotta talk."
The Crusaders nodded, stood up, and silently filed up the stairs of the farmhouse to Apple Bloom's room, leaving the adults alone. Rainbow Dash spoke up first after a few moments of silence.
"Well, I guess the action scenes weren't too bad. When they were on the boat with the repeating crossbow... that was pretty cool, I guess."
"Tactful, Rainbow," Rarity said dryly, "but we aren't going to be discussing the literary qualities of this story, or, lack thereof. We're here to decide what to do with them."
"Ah dunno, about the long term, Ms. Rarity, but in the short term, Ah have an idea that would make me feel better." The other ponies looked over at Big Macintosh, who stood up and left the room. When he returned, he had a pencil and paper in his mouth, which he deposited on the floor next to the story. Rarity's eyes narrowed for a moment before they widened in realization.
"No! Surely you don't intend to..."
Big Mac nodded. He took the pencil in his mouth, and began writing on the paper. The other four ponies stood up and walked behind him to read over his shoulder.
"One fine day, the Cutie Mark Crusaders sat in their clubhouse, wondering what to do to get their cutie marks next..."
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D'awww
Do you mean that she curls her head (and mane) over her own wings (difficult to picture) or do you mean that she hides her head under her wings (which seems more anatomically possible)? In which case you mean "covering her head with her wings."
Other question -- how did the adults find the Hearts and Hooves Day, heh, "fanfic"? Did the CMC give it to Big Mac or Fluttershy as a sort of hint, or did it fall into their hooves by accident?
And yes. This would deeply embarrass Fluttershy.
I liked the part where Rainbow Dash wanted to make sure that Scootaloo had put in the action part
Hah wut? Well you succeeded in writing as a child, I had a assumed your younger sibling had written this and you posted it for them. Very well done on that point. I wonder what sort of writer Big Mac is. I imagine that would also be an entertaining read.
Thank you for the fun short B.W.
The moral of the story is to hide all of your incredibly embarrassing writing from prying eyes so they may never be unleashed unto the world.
Twists an Turns my man, an Discord ended where he began. Yet another Dynasty.
I wnder if Big Mac was going to use Double Tree Sap?
"The CMC are tagged in this? Odd."
"Wait a second. Is this going where I think it's going?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure it is."
4349577
The irony of saying that on Fimfiction, of all places, is overpowering.
That was extremely silly.
4349542
Pretty sure that's how the adults got hold of it.
4349617 that was kind of the point. I'm happy you saw the subtle joke.
That was good I guess for the cutiemark crusader's "first story/fanfic".
4349556 Well, my youngest sibling is 19, so...
Now I want to see what the adults write...
4349542 Fixed...
At the start I thought this was a troll-fic. I'm still not sure it's not, but I'm glad I finished it.
tfw this pops up while you're browsing fimfic:
i.imgur.com/h5gJ6dW.png
"BronyWriter does clop....?"
"Wait....."
".....no, not exactly."
4349636
Oh ... now I see another reason why Fluttershy in particular was so embarrassed ...
This is Rainbow Dash telling her about it ...
Wow, I liked this. I didn't know you did comedy. Now, about that CMC story...
4349883 You didn't know I did comedy ?!
seriously bronywriter. what the eff star star star. still loved it though
*relife. Oh when I first started reading it, you had me worried that you lost your touch. Then I got to the end, and relife when I found out the first half was suppose to be bad.
Great job, ... I don't suppose you would take me on as a proofreader friend?
4350557 I dunno. What are your credentials?
4350350
Well there was Lemonade Stand but I never read it...
4350586 I, don't have any. And I admit, I still have trouble writting, but I'm getting better at editing. So far my best story to date is. Pony Vs. food (sorry for lack of link), and all I can do is offer a first read through, and maybe some good ideas. My main desire is be a better writer through this fandom, and giving my time to others.
Cute story!
Although, given the "authors", now I'm not certain if the typos and spelling errors are deliberate or not.
On one side I'm like "Painful reading is painful to read." On the other I'm like "Tee hee now what shall happen."
You could not fathom. The amount of imaginary popcorn I wasted at.
:o
Well, that was something.
Yeah, I think anyone would be shocked in that situation.
Nope
I am not reading beyond this point, screw this.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120627233640/smuff/images/e/e4/Nope_laser.gif
4353558 Um... maybe if you did then you'd discover that there's actually a point to how dumb this is.
4353851 I know, I was joking, sorry but I have a lack of an ability to tell jokes over the internet, the ending was a little bit funny.
(either way I wouldn't have been able to read past that point due to circumstances.)
I had to back out of the story and see if I read the authors name correctly. And then when I realized it was indeed a story written by BronyWriter, I couldn't help but wonder if you were drunk or high. Started not to read it and then read it anyways. I'm glad I did.
I nearly died at the end, poetic justice!
Lost it at "griffin ninjas". Cute. Clever. Very obvious to see who had a hoof in writing which parts. Hopefully the CMC stick to fanfiction about, well, fictional characters from here on out.
I was very confused by the start of this story, as I didn't read the tags at all and I was like "What the hell is this?"
Then I found out.
Poor CMC. Going to get a little talk from Applejack.
Mac, you fool! Writing an equally crappy fanfic will only start a cycle of wanton cruelty to the written word!
(Seriously, though, most amusing. I figured it was somepony's fan fiction, but wasn't entirely sure whose. Thank you for this.)
Hmm, I think Rainbow's the one who deserves to have the next story written about her, not only for snooping, but then showing what she found to everyone else. Not that the others had much reason to read it either. Yup, the CMC are the true victims here.
4358369
Terrible action-romances starring ponies they know. It'll be Equestria's version of LoHAV.
I was just skimming through most of this story. I was considering skipping this story. Then I reached the end. Now I see why it was written the way that it was.
I was was wondering what was going on with the ninjas and the children level romance. Well played.
Haha... will there be a sequel? I really wanna read what Big Mac wrote. I am sure that that would be hilarious
why did i laugh at the discord sence
ha at first i just assumed this was your first story. my how your writing has improved!
5062176 Even though this isn't my first story, my writing has improved a heck of a lot.
*slow clap*
I laughed. Still a better love story than Twilight
might write.So thanks for that.
I can so picture Fluttershy pulling a Crocodile Dundee "this is a knife", also now imaging her with an Aussie Sheila accent.
First of all, I cracked up at the fact that Applejack is giving the CMC "the talk". I can only imagine how that is going down. Second, I'm surprised Rarity wasn't a little more concerned that Sweetie Belle was reading her romance novels. Also, I love how purposefully terrible you made the beginning of the story. It worked really well.