Hey! My name's Dash! I'm a dude who likes writing crap. I don't use this website much anymore, but oh well.
My name is Fluttershy, and I am pregnant with Big Macs baby! We are having a baby, well I don't know. I am starving every three seconds, but I got used to it! I also have a bad temper. And I can't control my crying, but other than that I'm fine. Applejack is mad about me and him together. We are happy though. Happy forever.
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Aww, this is really sweet. I personally thank that there should be more FlutterMac.
On the other hand, the conflict between Fluttershy and Applejack felt over stressed, and their overarching conflict was given little weight. Frankly, from the explanation you gave. AJ should be more proud of Mac+Shy, from their you could develop an internal conflict of Shy's, then leading to great tension between the two mares. Stemming from that, you could've started the story from an earlier time frame thus allowing for a better development of the major conflict.
Despite these basic flaws, the story is very emotionaly invested and I hope to see more of it soon.
Hurry please. I'm starting to chew my nails in suspense for the next chapter.
3610235 Remember there are always dreams in my stories
3610253 Aww thanks! I'm GOING AS FAST AS I CAN THOUGH! I'll start tonight!
3610229 Alright alright!
Wooo!YES!I haven't seen a good Fluttermac in AGES! Please continue
Thanks Candytip. You're a great writer.
3610325 No prob, but I should be the one thanking u. No ones called me that in ages
Well... I certainly feel like I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't point out the problems lingering in this piece. This could certainly be a lot more solid. I encourage you to continue on, but unfortunately this first chapter strikes me as passable if it were a first draft. I don't claim to be an expert or anything, but I'd be willing to give a painfully invasive critique of this. At any rate, I'm still of the mind that you should continue on. No matter who you are, your writing will only improve if you keep at it.
Uhm. The flow of this somehow really... alienates... me? Why is AJ bringing up the topic just before Fluttershy has her foal? That's horribly inconsiderate timing, therefore OOC (out-of-character).
And I can't help but think there's subtle point-of-view violations, especially since Fluttershy is telling the story. She calls her own speaking saying something "kindly" -- I dunno.
Sorry, but I will down-vote this. I don't like doing that, so I'll try to explain. The scene where AJ snaps requires a credible build-up, at the very least something that brings the parent's back-story into the scene. What made her snap? Were the others expecting this? How do their friends see the situation, how do they react? And it needs to be explained, even if just a little, why this conflict wasn't solved earlier. Surely AJ noticed them dating and knew of the pregnancy?
I know it's hard to get right, but this just doesn't work in such a quick pace. It just goes too much against AJ's character for the conflict to erupt and be kind of resolved in quick succession. The readers need to be led into the situation and the concerned parties' feelings carefully, since it conflicts with what they expect. Maybe give the story some room, make longer dialogues, have the conflict appear subtly before it bursts out like this?
I wish you all the best with your writing!
the pace is too fast. but it is good
3613336 thanks
'I smile. “Her name is Sweet Apple, and she is your cousin.” I say and Apple Bloom smiles.'
why cousin and not niece ?
3619653 What? Oh yeah! Sorry, I'll change that!
Uh oh. Not good news everypony.
3624508 Yep
Chapter 3 chapter 3!!!!!
3632550 Alright, alright!
3633651 ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3
hey i gave this a thumbs up in order to rule out those meanie pants thumbs down!
3656834 Thanks
Do you have to play with my feelings? At first I was like "Aw,
" and then I was like "What!? 
"
3670850 Wat? I'm, confused
3670852
When AJ was crying, then Sweet Apple had to get operated on. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
3671001 Oh! Ok, yeah
Ummm...... That was MY death story of Applejack's parents.
3672385 Oh sorry, that was from a comic
I got permisson. Please don't be mad 
3671186
Why it's an Alt uni ?
3680699 oops thanks! I need to change that
3657866
3700295 AHHHHHH!
3700542 stalker dace
3701120 NOOOO!
3701129 fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/044/9/a/Stalker_Dance_by_BurgerBunny.gif
3701143
OH NO!
3701147 lol
3727968 Sorry it's cancelled for now. I just have to finish some things :(
3728049 WHAT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
3728078 I know, I'm sorry.
3728120 noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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3728137 Ahh you're making me feel guilty!
3728233 thats the plan noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooo
oooo
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ooo
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ooo
oooooooooooooooo
3728256 Please, STOP! I'm starting to get annoyed! Sorry for sounding mean, but I really want to work on my Warriors stories. And I won't be able to work on anything until next week!
3728258
3728274 Wat?
3728435
3728522 WHAT!
3728772
cries tiger yelled at me
3728781 I meant what? caps was on